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#1 Posted by WinterSnowblind (7613 posts) -

I don't usually post random news articles, but this just blew my mind. 
I've copied most of it, but you can read the full story here.

One of my best mates from Southend is the manager of a chain pub in Central London.   A few weeks ago, he's standing behind the bar when a guy comes up to him looking rather concerned.  Listen mate, this is gonna sound totally insane, but I’ve just gone for a piss in the urinal and I could’ve sworn I saw an eyeball looking up from the hole.   Not just an eyeball, but like, an eyebrow as well. And the eye was looking around.”   So the guy convinces him to let them have a look to put his mind at ease.

They both go to the toilets to check on the two adjoining rooms. As they go through the first door, they discover that the place is pretty much flooded with urine. My mate comments to the guy that obviously this is not usual. 
 
Things get stranger still when they get to the door to the second back room, which is a fire exit and should be unlocked – it isn’t.   My friend gets his keys out to unlock the door, and as he begins doing so, a frantic scuffle begins behind the door.   As he attempts to push it open, the handle is ripped out of his hand and a dude comes charging out of the room, soaked head to toe in piss.   He charges both my friend and the customer (who are too shocked to react) out of the way, screaming, “I didn’t do anything!” as he goes.   By the time they regain their sense of reality, the guy has made his escape, leaving them to assess the scene of abject depravity he's left in his wake.   

    

  The plumbing for the urinal had been carefully removed and put to one side, leaving a hole in the masonry big enough for a head and shoulders to squeeze in. Tissue paper had been laid on the exposed brick-work to provide a comfortable head rest for what seemed to be a lengthy session of being pissed on. By men. In secret. In a pub belonging to pretty much the biggest pub chain in Britain. Oh, and did I mention the snorkel?   The police are called. Forensics scour the scene but no fingerprints can be found owing to the copious amounts of wee on every single surface. 

#2 Posted by Grilledcheez (3942 posts) -

Somebody has a clever way of accomplishing their fetish!

#3 Posted by Irvandus (2777 posts) -

This is crazier then the end of Mass Effect, not crazier than the Gamespot stuff though.

#4 Posted by WinterSnowblind (7613 posts) -

@Irvandus: it would have been a better ending for Mass Effect.

#5 Posted by Chop (1992 posts) -

Well...I mean, sure it's disgusting, but you really have to admire that guy. That is some impressive dedication to getting pissed on.

#6 Posted by Akrid (1356 posts) -

That is the worst thing I have ever read.

#7 Posted by Bucketdeth (8003 posts) -

Wow, this guy is like a piss ninja, wonder how long he had been doing this for.

#8 Posted by Cloudenvy (5891 posts) -

I admire his dedication.

#9 Posted by Scooper (7882 posts) -

Haha. There's some weird shit that goes on. What a fucking story.

#10 Posted by BonOrbitz (2138 posts) -
Check, please!
#11 Posted by Camosid (110 posts) -

I am mostly astonished at how clever this dude was but also it is pretty gross. Also if that line of plumbing had been removed wouldn't it not flush correctly?

#12 Posted by CookieMonster (2414 posts) -

hahahahaha

#13 Posted by Getz (2986 posts) -

I was fucking terrified for a moment because I thought it was gonna be a Saw thing with somebody locked behind the urinal with no way out or something. That would literally be my hell.

#14 Posted by BombcastGoldthwait (250 posts) -

The guy just ran away? What a coward. A real yellow belly... back, head, arms, legs, etc...

#15 Posted by BabyChooChoo (4247 posts) -

I don't...I can't...I...

I have no words.

Online
#16 Posted by TooWalrus (13130 posts) -

Impressive. Filthy, yet impressive.

#17 Posted by WalkerTR77 (1351 posts) -

I didn't do anything!

#18 Posted by MysteriousBob (6272 posts) -

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

#19 Posted by AlexanderSheen (4904 posts) -

From now on I'm gonna check the urinal before taking a leak.

#20 Posted by smitty86 (697 posts) -

The best part is that he made a pillow for himself out of toilet paper. That is the work of a man who is dedicated to be as comfortable as possible while soaking in urine. I can only help but picturing him lying there just relaxing and eating a sandwich thinking "This is the life."

#21 Posted by KarlPilkington (2678 posts) -

@Toebias_Funke said:

The guy just ran away? What a coward. A real yellow belly... back, head, arms, legs, etc...

Nice work.

#22 Edited by Grixxel (762 posts) -

Ah hahahahahahahahahaha! I love the part of not being able to get fingerprints do to all the piss.

#23 Posted by BeachThunder (11645 posts) -

You know, I kind of regret reading this D:

#24 Posted by N7 (3572 posts) -

Don't knock it til you try it.
 
I MEAN YEAH THAT'S DISGUSTING.

#25 Posted by TheDudeOfGaming (6078 posts) -

I don't know what to say.

#26 Posted by Jay444111 (2441 posts) -

@BeachThunder said:

You know, I kind of regret reading this D:

This... Massively.

#27 Posted by Freshbandito (642 posts) -

Why would you unleash this on our fragile psyche's???

#28 Posted by SimplyTron (77 posts) -

If Jeff asked me to, I would get on my knees and let him piss on me.

#29 Posted by Superfriend (1521 posts) -

@Bucketdeth said:

Wow, this guy is like a piss ninja, wonder how long he had been doing this for.

I will double check every urinal I use from now on. Holy shit, maybe there are some stealth shit-divers out there too? Never gonna use a public restroom again :P

#30 Posted by Make_Me_Mad (3001 posts) -

This sounds like a real-world version of something the guys would have come up with during a filthy discussion on the Bombcast. A Goddamned Snorkel?!

#31 Posted by crusader8463 (14411 posts) -

Always good to see a man dedicated to the pursuit of his fetishes.

#32 Posted by CL60 (16906 posts) -

Oh man. Ahaha. That is one clever, sick man.

#33 Posted by DirtyEagles (274 posts) -

nothing like a urine stream hitting your face to make you feel truly alive.

#34 Posted by TzarStefan (426 posts) -

Was it Bear grylls?

#35 Posted by SomeDeliCook (2203 posts) -
#36 Posted by WalkerTR77 (1351 posts) -

I wonder why they tried to get fingerprints and track him down? "Right you! You're gettin the jail... because... that's not on! Getting pissed on. Illegal. Yes illegal".

This reminds me of when my friend told me that his Mum worked at the arts guild for a few months (small venue for plays and what not). The staff kept seeing this odd guy come in with a carrier bag and disappearing somewhere for hours at a time then leaving. Turned out, he had some kind of secret closet where he could look in on women changing for ballet and dance classes. He was just going in with snacks and enjoying himself. They eventually discovered his peep closet and he was arrested; but he got away with it for several months. Very disturbing.

#37 Posted by James_ex_machina (905 posts) -

Personally dungeon doesn't seem like the right word. The receiver of the golden showers wasn't held against his will.

#38 Posted by RandomInternetUser (6789 posts) -

What

The

Fuck

?

#39 Posted by Phished0ne (2477 posts) -

@SomeDeliCook said:

This is as good as what Ashens found at his pub

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=R1H9bli79to

ITS A MINIATURE SCENE OF A MAN BENDING DOWN AND LOOKING AT THE SECRET COMPARTMENT UNDERNEATH THIS VERY BRICK! Ashens is awesome and that was awesome. Between that and this article? I have come to the consensus that British pubs are weird weird places.

#40 Posted by Grixxel (762 posts) -

This seems appropiate:

#41 Posted by jozzy (2041 posts) -

Great story. I am sceptical, but on the other hand, this is not something a sane person could make up. So it's probably true...

We need the Tested guys to do a mythbusters style test on this, I volunteer Will as the guy on the recieving end. Oh wait, talking about tested on the site is useless now :(

#42 Posted by ShadowConqueror (3048 posts) -

That guy REALLY wanted to get pissed on.

#43 Posted by iam3green (14390 posts) -

lol at that. i do give him props for being sneaky. what a nice way of getting a fetish.

#44 Posted by WinterSnowblind (7613 posts) -

@jozzy: I was pretty sceptical, but the pictures really seal it. Why would you fake that?

#45 Posted by Hilbert (349 posts) -

The guy had a snorkel..

#46 Posted by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -

Some people are fucking gross.

#47 Posted by PrivateIronTFU (3874 posts) -

I would have enjoyed that story more if the guy turned out to be a slave in a sex dungeon.

#48 Posted by nintendoeats (5975 posts) -

...video games.

video games.

video games...

aaaaaaah. I feel better now.

#49 Posted by DoctorTran (1544 posts) -
@nintendoeats

...video games.

video games.

video games...

aaaaaaah. I feel better now.

Piss drinkers ! A
#50 Posted by James_Giant_Peach (751 posts) -

Well I'm glad I visited this thread.