Married people! What should I put on my registry?

Howdy,

My lovely Fiance and I are getting married in September of next year, and we are putting together our wedding registry for gifts.

What do ya'll suggest/got that you like/wish you would have gotten?

Think about stuff you would like to have but is not likely in your budget soon. Like to have friends over for dinner? How about about some nice plates and wine glasses. Love lounging in bed together? How about some ridiculously comfortable and expensive sheets, pillows and comforters. Things that sure you want in your house/apartment as they are aesthetically pleasing to you both but in no way could you afford them now. No need to go off the deepend on pricing but pick stuff you want to look at or that makes you both feel comfortable and makes your home feel like home. Tickets to a show you both really want to go to, or a nights stay at a nice little getaway can be fantastic as well. Congratulations by the way and don't forget it is your wedding, don't let family try to have the wedding they want, have the wedding you want. If that means a simple gathering and some good food awesome, or if that means a massive party with a million people cool, just do it for yourselves and no one else.

Again congrats and cheers!

Money. It looks kinda rude and non-personal and all that, but if you're in any situation similar to mine when I was getting married, money is nice for starting your new life together.

Also, awesome expensive sheets are pretty great. Normally it's hard to justify them but as a wedding present you get into some buttery high thread counts.

Keep in mind that it's your guys' registry. Go for what you feel would be best to receive.
Edit: Congratulations! Getting married was a pretty cool moment in my life, enjoy it!

I am not married so I dont know. Ryan Davis had one of these on his registry though.

I would suggest, speaking from the other end of things, that you be sure to include a range of items up and down the budget.

Like if your wedding is going to be at all sizable, the amount of $$$ your guests each want or can spend on your wedding is likely going to differ greatly.

i.e. If you've got a couple of cheap-skate friends (or family..) be sure to include 25-100$ items on there that they can pick from, along with the big ticket things you expect your main people to be buying..though if you really need something you might just want to straight up tell whomever might be keen to help you buy them so. Better to ask for help buying an entire new kitchen then putting the stove, fridge and money for re-doing the counter-top on there and only getting 1 of the 3..at random.

sheets, towels, plates, glasses, flatware, vitamix blender, rice cooker, and money are all good to ask for in my opinion.

An amazing blender is one of the best things you can get imo.

A brand new car!

@daddycabinet: Everything about that man is summed up in one single vine.

@OP If you plan to travel overseas in the future, anticipate what you might have to keep in storage (or drag it around with you) if it has sentimental value. Also consider setting up a term deposit account that you can put a lump sum deposit into. The bigger your wedding, the more likely shit will hit the fan in the future and you'll thank yourselves for putting something away.

Hey, that's when I'm getting married too!

My general feeling on it, is that it's probably a good opportunity to look at the stuff you have and use often, and get the nicest feasible version of that. That's why plates feature heavily in these suggestions I guess - no one wants to spend £100 on a set of crockery, but it'd be nice to have instead of a shitty £20 set from Tesco.

I got married so long ago that I asked for an 8-Track player, so probably not much help.

The wedding I was at a couple of weeks ago, however, was a bit more modern. The couple mostly got money - Not really romantic but they'd stated that they were saving up for a deposit on a house so it was the best possible gift for them.

We did something similar to what people said here. We put a lot of kitchen gadgets and nice cooking equipment. All upgrades to things we already had or things we would never have justified buying on our own. Not sure where you are, but having the registry set up through a store (Target in out case) gave us a 10% off coupon to use on anything that wasn't bought as a gift.

In the following years I've seen some people ask for help with a honeymoon, which seems like a cool idea. I have no idea what the website was, but one couple had set up a registry that split out different activities (scuba, etc) at the resort they wanted to go to. Another couple has included airfare gift certificates on their Amazon registry.

Other advice that you didn't ask for, do something special for your honeymoon. To be honest, the wedding night is so busy that I remember only snippets. But our relaxed 10 days in Nova Scotia are going to be with me a long time.

Second piece of unrequested advice, it's your wedding, somethings about it are going to stress you out for dumb reasons. Don't focus on those things, instead enjoy yourselves!

My wife and I did everything a bit backwards. Been together going on 10 years in February but just got married last April. We've been living with each other for 9 years and have owned our own home for 3 years. So we basically had everything we needed for our house. And we didn't have any parents to help pay for the wedding so we didn't create a registry and just received cash. It was the best help for us and nobody really seemed to mind.

The things I would put on my registry if I had to echo what some have said: some nice, expensive sheets or comforters, maybe household decorations and such. These are the things I have trouble spending the money on myself.

It depends a lot on your current living situation and what you already have. When my wife and I got married, we already had stuff like towels, dishes, blenders, etc. We put some of that kind of stuff (glassware, silverware) on the list, but also things like picture frames and kitchen knick-knacks.

The best part was that my wife also let me register at Sears so that my friends could buy me tools instead of household nonsense.

Well that's a no brainer...
Gift certificates to Newegg, Gamestop, Steam.
Kitchen stuff is ah'ight I guess.
: )

Nothing but anime hug pillows.

You're okay! ^_-

@kagato: d(*⌒▽⌒*)b

My cousin created a site where she put up big ticket items that people could donate to. The donations all went to the same PayPal collection, so really she was just getting money. People felt like they were helping purchase specific things, though, so it avoided the "ask for money" problem. At that point she could pick which items she really needed and how much cash to keep.

Congratulations!

Wait so you expect people who don't have lots of money to spend $100 on you? What the hell do you expect everyone else to spend? That sounds insane.

My wife and I already had enough house shit, so we did a honeymoon registry through www.travelersjoy.com. Fucking awesome. It's just a cash lump sum at the end of it, but you just create a bunch of categories like cocktails, massage, round of golf, etc. People at our wedding kept telling me how much they preferred simply giving us something fun instead of a bunch of bullshit plates and silverware, and the best gift you can give a newly married couple is cash, because a wedding followed by a honeymoon is enough to bankrupt just about anyone. That was a cool way to allow people to give cash in a way that's not offputting. Highly recommend.

things for the kitchen

Seconded! I used a similar service and it was great to go on a trip and (mostly) not have to think about how much we were spending. It allowed us to do the things we wouldn't have if it were just coming out of pocket.

Congrats. One piece of advice we were given was to include the same item at different prices. For example if you want a $300 set of pans include both the set you want and a $600 set. People will say "well I can't afford a $600 gift but I can do $300."

One thing I don't think was mentioned is a steam cleaner. One made by Shark that you can use on floors and has attachments for hand held use. It should have laundry safe reusable cloth scrubbers. You will use this on everything.

Also lots of creepy anime figures naturally, I don't need to tell you this.

One thing I'll caution against is adding in a ton of kitchen gadgets and single purpose items. They provide more flexibility for your guests when finding gift options, but the last thing you need or want is an entire drawer filled with stuff you'll never use. Think things like avocado scooper, corn brushes, etc.

Congrats on getting married.

I would say try and put reasonable necessities on it. try and range your items between $25-$500. The higher end items sometimes groups of people will go in together on. Try to keep it to things you know you will use, not things you think will be cool. A full Amiibo collection is awesome for your mancave, but not for your wife.

My thought process is on larger items, try and think long term. Like if you own a house think "will I need this in 3 years?" or even better if you are in an apartment think of "I don't need this now, but were buying a house in a year, I'll need it then"

Just don't put absurdly dumb shit on there that people know you'll never use (a $40 "grapefruit knife.") I always roll my eyes when I see that shit.

@alexw00d: I'd say a $100 gift from a couple is considered normal if you are in your mid 20s. If you are stag and didn't get a +1, $50-70 for a friend or non immediate family member relative is fine. I'm turning 30 in a couple months though and I've noticed that the price tags are starting to increase lately.

That's the fiancé's job. I could not tell you one thing on our registry.

@bceagles128: I'd say $100 is the bare minimum you can give at a wedding. I was unemployed and went to a good friend's wedding in my early-mid twenties and felt like I had to apologize. Also went stag.

And I'm not well off or anything. If you're giving less than $100 the newly weds probably lost money inviting you to their wedding.

Yeah I dunno, a couple of my friend's have gotten married in the last couple of years, with another in the coming year, and there's been none of this expecting a $100 gift minimum. Maybe it's more of an American thing, or my friends just don't give a shit about presents haha. I'd also never heard of it called a registry until this thread came along.

If I was the OP I would just ask for the company of my closest love ones.

Think someone else mentioned this already but if you register through certain stores or portals you can sometimes get discounts for a limited time on items that you list but no guests ultimately ended up buying for you. This worked out great for my wife and myself after our wedding.

I think the advice to have a range of $25-100 items is a good idea but definitely put some big ticket items on there too. Older and/or financially well off friends and family will understand the importance of getting you off to a good start and will help to the extent that they can so having some of those big ticket items gives you good options.

I'd also say consider really carefully what to put on your registry. In general I would avoid electric items even if you feel like you "need" them right now because they'll be outdated within a few years. The one exception I would make is for kitchen appliances and general maintenance electric tools like a good screw gun, a good quality vacuum cleaner, a stud finder, and maybe an electric saw of some sort like a circular saw or reciprocating saw (I'd only do the saw if you own a home or will do so in the near future, everything else works anywhere). Go for durable items and/or matching set items. I can't emphasize enough matching items especially in the kitchen! Even if you don't own a home yet you're going to feel much better when your bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom items match rather than being a mishmash of randomly acquired items. Towels, bedding, pots and pans, kitchen appliances, etc..

The one thing I'd be careful about listing that you might be tempted to get for reasons of matching is any sort of drapery or curtains unless, again, you already own a home.

If you don't own one buy a decent quality spirit level NOW.

Depending on where you're getting married vs. where you live make sure you take delivery and transport of your registry items into consideration. I've seen couples list a bunch of things only to have a panic when they realize that due to their transport situation and honeymoon plans that they suddenly had a bunch of items and boxes to move that they either had to mail back to their home or get friends or family to transport for them in precarious ways. Easily avoidable situation with a little planning.

Congratulations!

Being a friendless wretch, I have been to so few weddings that I dont even know what the dollar value of a typical gift is. $100 seems a bit high to me.

I also kinda feel like we shouldnt be so ashamed to just ask for money - simpler than dealing with the logistics.

I was just looking at this Kickstarter for a Nebia Shower. Or perhaps a nice Toto washlet seat or toilet.

@daddycabinet: Just seeing him again warms my soul :).

And congrats to OP on the engagement.

Money is a perfectly fine gift but some of those store registry deals can be pretty nice for the couple. Also depending on what the couple lists on the registry there's also the memory associated with certain gifts. It's not just a utilitarian affair at the end of the day (or at least it doesn't have to be). Still, yes, I think straight cash can be a great gift to ask for and give when it comes to weddings.

@corvak $100 can be high for certain people for sure. Varies widely for different people and social groups. When I was a sound guy/stagehand in my 20s that would have been asking for A LOT of out of me. Now that I'm in my late 30s and a salaried database programmer with kids and a mortgage a hundred bucks for a wedding gift is actually a fairly modest and reasonable gift for me to give without it seeming like a huge deal to my overall budget. I don't think it's an absurd thing to see listed on a wedding registry especially if it's a family member or a close friend but I probably wouldn't spend that much on a more casual acquaintance personally.

The big thing for me is that everyone involved feel comfortable and happy about the whole situation. A gift should never make anyone feel bad and a wedding is supposed to be a joyous occasion. A gift shouldn't be expected but it should be appreciated. I have some family who are extremely poor and I never wanted anything more than to just see them in regards to my wedding because I've been there when it comes to being cash strapped. I didn't even expect gifts from my well off friends and family but definitely felt really nice when they did get us some nice items.

I'm getting married in April and we're not setting up traditional gift registry. We set up a profile at honeyfund where instead of tangible gifts people donate money to your honeymoon. And so to make it seem like less of a cash grab, you can donate like $50 for a nice dinner or $100 for a couples massage, that sort of thing. We've been living together for the better part of four years so we have pretty much all the domestic shit we need. Plus, don't give me a bunch of crap that I'm going to have to turn around and move when we get a bigger house.

Just put a bunch of practical stuff that you need (sheets, curtains, silverware, plates, microwave/toaster, etc.) then put 1 fantastical thing like a Ferrari on there. You never know, you might be marrying into a family with a rich benefactor you've never met and you end up getting a Ferrari. Or someone could get you a hot wheels toy Ferrari instead. Either way you get a wicked sweet Ferrari out of it.

Also cash is always nice, especially for the honeymoon. A lot of cultures have the tradition of paying to dance with the bride, which you can set up. I personally didn't want to do that though cause I felt like I turned my wife into a hooker receiving money for her company. I know nobody thought of it that way but I couldn't get that thought out of my head haha.

NEW BEDDING AND NEW SILVERWARE!!!!!!

Also remember that even with a registry you will still get plenty of money, because most will either A) not want to bother ordering you a gift, or B) not remember till the last minute and will buy a card on the way to the wedding with a check inside.

Well yeah, they're having a fucking wedding. They aren't paying for a wedding so that they can get gifts. They're paying to celebrate their occasion, and I'm donating my weekend (and often spending a couple hundred bucks on a hotel) by going to celebrate their occasion. They aren't supposed to be making money out of it.

Considering how expensive weddings are, it is usually expected or customary for guests to at least give back the cost of the meal, since they are getting the venue, the entertainment, the cake, and usually the alcohol for free. It's hardly a "profit". But you do you man.

No, it's not. Giving a wedding gift is customary but not a requirement; having the guests in any way cover part of the costs of the wedding is absolutely not expected or customary. If a couple's wedding budget is high enough that they feel entitled to a minimum value per gift, then it's better that they actually fix that budget. About the only correct thing you've said is, "you do you."

Thing you guys need. I got a lot of laughs for putting a 20 oz Coca-Cola on my registry, but seriously...I wanted a bunch of Cokes :|

Of the things we got for our wedding 14 years ago, the only things we still have, and use are: a down comforter, and a set of pots and pans. I've no idea what the comforter cost, but the pots and pans were a ten piece set that goes for about 200 these days. The comforter is seasonal, and kind of depends on where you live, but having some solid cookware over the years has been great.

I'd also second the suggestions for a couple good sets of sheets, and towels.

You definitely do need to think of it as a tiered thing for different guests to be able to contribute at different levels or team up for bigger purchases.

One thing that is on every single wedding registry ever compiled is a KitchenAid stand mixer. It's tradition. It's on all of them. It's also nice because it has a ton of addons that are good for lower end purchases. Like at my friend's wedding I saw that someone had gotten them the mixer so I purchased them the ice cream maker add on for it.

Stemless wine glasses. You want them.

Quality cookware. This is your wedding, so don't be afraid to list that bomb ass shit. All Clad, baby. Throw a nice cast iron skillet on there for someone in the lower budget range. You'll want one. Skillets are awesome. Quality knives. You'll want a good 8" chef's knife at the very least. Paring knives as well. If you feel like, why not a whole knife set? Victorinox is a great brand for knifes. One of the best there is, and crushes the ones ahead of it on price. You might not get the best possible knife simply by choosing Victorinox, but you'll be getting one of the best. You'll probably want a stock pot. I'm a big fan of Le Creuset. This stuff matters for a kitchen, and building a decent kitchen is an important part of home making.

Amazon also has an interesting list of the top 100 things that are put on wedding registries. Cards Against Humanity packs and expansions take up a fairly puzzling number of those 100 however.

@sergio said: No, it's not. Giving a wedding gift is customary but not a requirement; having the guests in any way cover part of the costs of the wedding is absolutely not expected or customary. If a couple's wedding budget is high enough that they feel entitled to a minimum value per gift, then it's better that they actually fix that budget. About the only correct thing you've said is, "you do you."

Obviously this entire conversation is a matter of opinion, but yes, in my opinion, if you went to someone's wedding and got them a used copy of Black Ops 2 or one of those bottles of champaign from Walgreens that has a kangaroo on it and costs $8, it's probably better to not give a gift at all than draw attention to yourself.

But thanks for telling me my opinion is wrong. Google "Cover Your Plate Rule" and you can see that it is a custom.

BTW, TheKnot and CBS News say: If it's a co-worker or a distant friend, TheKnot.com recommends spending at least $75-$100 on the wedding present. If you're attending a relative or a friend's wedding, the wedding website suggests somewhere between $100 and $125.

But if that stuff is out of your price range, a thoughtful or personal gift makes up for any lack of finances, in my opinion.

All of the money we received from our wedding is long gone. . . however all of the gifts from our registry are used daily. With that said, I would ask for items that you want but wouldn't necessarily want to pay for out of pocket. For us it was All-Clad pots and pans, Wusthoff Knives, a Kitchen Aide Mixer, etc.

EDIT: For shits and giggles you could always throw on a videogame console. Maybe someone would get it for you :).

One more bit of advice. Remember that your lifestyle will change when you get older (Especially if you are considering having kids). Our wedding registry had 8 Brandy Snifters on it. . . someone bought them for us. Now, 9 years later, we have a shelf full of unused Brandy Snifters. I am pretty sure that ALL 8 of them will never be used at once. :)

Yes, I'm clearly suggesting that people should just give a cheap gift and be done with it. Oh wait, I'm not. I'm saying you're wrong about being expected to cover any cost of a wedding.

There's a difference between suggesting what one might want to give and saying that you are required to give enough to cover the cost of you and your date's meals. Even on lists with recommended giving amounts, they also add the following:

Interestingly, there's a myth that continues to circulate among some guests. They're under the impression that they should base the cost of the gift on how much they think the couple is spending on food and entertainment. This modern myth is simply not true. Again, the amount you spend is strictly a matter of your budget, how close you are to the bride and groom, and what you think is an appropriate gift.

Another article has these comments:

The expense and the cost of the wedding is solely the responsibility of the bride, groom, and their families, and never the people who are attending. I think people give with their heart and do the best that they can. I would hope that any bride and groom would understand.

and

There is no obligation of a guest to give a gift to a party to which they are invited, not even a wedding. Though not required, it is a very nice thing to do, but there is certainly no base guideline for what you should give...

So I would say that @bceagles128 suggested gifts were perfectly fine. The suggestions that the OP has received regarding registry items ranging in price, including items below $100, are correct. It's also okay to throw in expensive items, like my suggestions, because sometimes you'll get a group of people pool their money together to get you a really good gift - or they might have a rich relative.