My cousin smokes (at 16)

  I put down I smoke just to be cool, you know? lol.  I also put down that I've had sexual relations, but I've never had sex."

It has absolutely been shown that someone will not change their mind on something that they are firmly set in unless they feel that they are the ones with the reason for it.  In other words you can not convince her to change her mind, she must come to it herself (helped along by you).  It sucks, but smoking is very addictive, so it's not going to quit until she decides she needs to.

"So I just found out my 16 year old cousin (turning 17 in feb) smokes, drinks, and essentially goes to those parties those (dumbfuck) health classes say to avoid. 

What the fuck should I do?  I called her, essentially said that she's a fucking idiot (more nicely though) and now I'm wondering if anyone else has had to do this?  What next?
I'm so fucking pissed off.
Our grandfather died from cancer, I grandmother has cancer, her mother smokes.  Her father recently died (not related to smoking)  and he would fucking flip out on her for this.

Anyone who does this also, what do you say?  "

Everyone goes throgh stages, let her be. If she goes through this stage now she'll be less likely to go through it when shes in college, hopefully she'll wise up, don't be so judgemntal and try to help her in a much more reasonable way

That's actually a pretty normal age to start smoking, if not younger... there are not many people that only really smoke, drink or watch porn when they're legally able to do so. Just let her be, it's her life.

Kombat said:

"SmugDarkLoser said:

"So I just found out my 16 year old cousin (turning 17 in feb) smokes, drinks, and essentially goes to those parties those (dumbfuck) health classes say to avoid. 

What the fuck should I do?  I called her, essentially said that she's a fucking idiot (more nicely though) and now I'm wondering if anyone else has had to do this?  What next?
I'm so fucking pissed off.
Our grandfather died from cancer, I grandmother has cancer, her mother smokes.  Her father recently died (not related to smoking)  and he would fucking flip out on her for this.

Anyone who does this also, what do you say?  "

I've always taken issue with people that smoke.  I've dropped many girls on the first date simply because I feel this instant disconnect when I find out that they smoke.  It's incredibly un-attractive to me, I can't stand the smell or even the sight of someone smoking a cigarette.  It seems kind of harsh, but it's the way I feel.

Smoking at that age stems from rebellion or trying to "fit-in."  Generally you aren't going to find a teenager who smokes just because they want to and enjoy it.  It just doesn't happen very often.  Drinking is pretty normal though, so don't make too big a deal of that.

Sadly, the likeliness that she'll even listen to anything to have to say are slim to none.  She's not going to care, so don't try.  Let her find our her own mistakes.  If she ends up pregnant, or with cancer, or thirty years down the road she's trying to quit smoking and can't figure out why she started, well, life's lessons don't come cheap."

That's the same with me.
Cigs, especially with girls, just look fucking weird and gross.

Call me sexist, but when a guy smokes, true, he's doing the same, but it just seems more natural in a way.  Still don't like it, but not as weird.

What pissed me off especially was that the pic was with a beer bottle and the cig sort of in her fingers. Something like this (but a bottle)
 

Not very smart either I'd assume.  Alcohol slows down your heat rate, nicotene would speed it up.  That can't be good. 
But it's more so the things that she could get into later

"So I just found out my 16 year old cousin (turning 17 in feb) smokes, drinks, and essentially goes to those parties those (dumbfuck) health classes say to avoid. 

What the fuck should I do?  I called her, essentially said that she's a fucking idiot (more nicely though) and now I'm wondering if anyone else has had to do this?  What next?
I'm so fucking pissed off.
Our grandfather died from cancer, I grandmother has cancer, her mother smokes.  Her father recently died (not related to smoking)  and he would fucking flip out on her for this.

Anyone who does this also, what do you say?  "

Show her some before and after pictures of people who have smoked along time. Just be there for her and tell her that you wouldn't want anything bad to happen to  her.

I'd be pissed off if she was breathing smoke in your face, throwing lit cigarettes in the garbage, and polluting your house with smoke. But that doesn't sound like the case.

I've personally smoked for three years, since I was 16. I find it relaxing and enjoyable, even though I've tried to quit a few times by now. We have several smokers in the family, my mother not being one of them, but she's never minded. I spend my own money on cigs, and do it away from her.

Nobody I know really takes offense to it; most people can't smell the smoke on me unless they go out of their way, I always ask if people don't mind if I smoke, and I just don't smoke at all if someone I'm hanging out with gets stressed out over it. Yes, I know the health concerns; at this point, I don't care, and most smokers definitely get offended if you tell them it's bad for them. We hear it constantly.

Bottom line? If you want to think she's stupid, by all means. I find a lot of people stupid as shit, myself, but I don't go around telling them, "Hey, you're acting like a dumbass." Trust me, they've probably heard that before.

^ but is there nothing else relaxing and enjoyable?
how about this:
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/192905

felt like i was flying when I was listening to this on my bed in the dark

It was legal to smoke at the age of 16 in the UK until very recently. It's also legal to drink at 18 here.

Let her do what the hell she wants and realise by herself whether it's a bad idea or not. At that age there are few things that will influence someone.

If I found kicking babies more enjoyable than smoking cigarettes, playing video games, or reading comics...which one would you find more offensive?

Kicking babies would piss off every mother I came across and get me thrown into jail. I think I'll stick with my nicotine and hobbies.

My point is that there's better options you can take, not that I like something else. 

"Drebin_893 said:

"Mind your own fucking business."

Fuck you, you piece of shit.
Go to hell.
"

I think you should sit down with her and talk to her seriously as the friendlt cousing who is looking out for her best interests.Because drinking and smoking at ANY age under 20 is tottaly stupid/I am a 16 year old boy who does his best to stay away from that stuff and be a good person.And I recently learned he drinks and smokes weed,so i try to show him it's a stupid desicion.But people who smoke and get drunk only do it to distract themselves from real problems.I know we are only humans,but we can do our best to be good people and stay away from stuff like that,especially at a young age.

"SmugDarkLoser said:

"Drebin_893 said:

"Mind your own fucking business."

Fuck you, you piece of shit.
Go to hell.
"

Another brilliantly articulate response from SDL."

Who cares if she does. Not your life.

"Drebin_893 said:

"SmugDarkLoser said:

"Drebin_893 said:

"Mind your own fucking business."

Fuck you, you piece of shit.
Go to hell.
"

Another brilliantly articulate response from SDL."

So you actually think Drebin's comment was in order >.>"

Well he will have problems in later life.
My mum started smoking when she was 14 and now she has a permanant cough.

It's a tough situation, dude. If my cousin who is the same age was to start smoking, I think I'd go freaking nuts. However, it may be impossible for you to really stop her. I guess my best suggestion would be to just have a real good talk with her about it. Bring up the sort of things you said in this thread about other family members dying of cancer. If I were you, I'd like to find the person that got her to start smoking and beat the living heck out of them, but if you think about it, it was her own decision, so that probably would just do more damage than good.

That sucks bro, its not really that bad though. just make sure she isnt getting into the coke/ ecstasy and all that shit, then you might have to beat a bitch

"My point is that there's better options you can take, not that I like something else. "

Try and get her to quit. Show her all the old ugly fuckers that cough their lungs out. I just quit becuase it's the worst habbit to get into. Weed is ok but cigarettes are NASTY

So you think smoking's not bad for you?
A nd you think working at a department store is an accomplishment?  Woohoo, I work at gamestop, I don't exactly brag about it.

Tell her to smoke some weed instead of cigarettes, haha

"So you think smoking's not bad for you?
A nd you think working at a department store is an accomplishment?  Woohoo, I work at gamestop, I don't exactly brag about it."

Oh wow.  I leave for one day, and this thread has exploded...and apparently, not into anything that's really that productive.

i see your point. but the thing is shes almost 17 you say, thats only a couple years until legal, while at least here in canada. you should be happy. i started drinking at 14 and though i have never smoked anything i can speak from experience and say that those parties arent as bad as there made out to be. when my parents caught me drinking they really didnt care. they know your going to do it. so why fight it and make you want to do it more. my parents have always said that drinking is going to happen and we dont mind because we cant stop you, just dont get behind the wheel of a car after drinking, or dont get in a car with someone who was drinking. But to answer your question just talk to her and tell her the consequences and what not. But whatever you do don't yell or get mad, that doesnt solve anything. I'm sure you were drinming before you were legal

It's her choice.....a bad one at that.

It's good to see that people still care about their relatives and such... famliy value these days have gone down the drain.
Just let her know your concerned about what shes doing but don't push too hard..it might backfire.

"SmugDarkLoser said:

"So you think smoking's not bad for you?
A nd you think working at a department store is an accomplishment?  Woohoo, I work at gamestop, I don't exactly brag about it."

Not easy for you to grasp things, is it?

I don't think smoking's not bad for you; I never said it wasn't. If you had read any of my other comments, I've said that I've tried to quit. It's not exactly a habit I want to keep forever.

And when the fuck did I ever say working retail was an accomplishment? The point I was getting at is that I live a healthy, active, hectic life aside from smoking. It's my one vice; I don't get high, I don't drink, I don't pop pills.

Apparently, you're sarcasm retarded and it's hard for you to read between lines. I'm kind of glad we don't get along.

"

Actually, thinking about it, to my friends, I don't like them smoking in general.
granted, I say it jokingly, but I say "You're going to die man!!!" or when it's more extreme and something I know they shouldn't do I once said "what color balloons you want at your funeral" but with family this is just not right to say.

I don't know how else to say this, but doing this shit is dangerous, not even long term.  Some kids a bit back, and then some other two months ago, got into car crashes while driving drunk.   3 died i believe.

I don't think talking to her on the phone will do jack. I still think that somehow getting her to live with you would be the best possible option.

And that's a reasonable solution?
Taking someone away from their parents is just crazy.

SHE SMOKES SHE POKES!!!

hook me up, she lives in Nevada right! :)

"And that's a reasonable solution?
Taking someone away from their parents is just crazy."

^ but she still likes her mother, obviously. 
They don't live in a trailer home and the mother doesn't have needles laying aorund

Burn down the house parties she goes to.

already tried^

"i see your point. but the thing is shes almost 17 you say, thats only a couple years until legal, while at least here in canada. you should be happy. i started drinking at 14 and though i have never smoked anything i can speak from experience and say that those parties arent as bad as there made out to be. when my parents caught me drinking they really didnt care. they know your going to do it. so why fight it and make you want to do it more. my parents have always said that drinking is going to happen and we dont mind because we cant stop you, just dont get behind the wheel of a car after drinking, or dont get in a car with someone who was drinking. But to answer your question just talk to her and tell her the consequences and what not. But whatever you do don't yell or get mad, that doesnt solve anything. I'm sure you were drinming before you were legal"

incest is the answer.

"Sephiroth9997 said:

"

Is she chubby?  If so, don't worry about her getting raped. 

"

Yeah I heard rapists are getting really selective these days."

I don't undertand how you people can say to just sit back and let her do whatever she wants. Now I'm the last person who would try to take away a persons freedom to do what they will, but when someone I love is smoking, getting drunk, having sex, and looking worse and worse over time, I'm not just going to sit back and watch them waste away. "Well, it's their choice, it's not something you have a say in." Bullshit. If she dies due to her reckless behavior what am I supposed to think?  "Well, it was her choice, and she made stupid ones."? Maybe she's "proof that natural selection works"? Fuck that. I would flip out knowing I could've helped her. No, If you care about her, and she really is doing reckless shit, then you need to show her your concerned, and if it gets out of hand you need to help her.

If it's just a lifestyle choice, choosing to drink and smoke and party because she wants to, and she knows what she's hetting into, and she can manage it, then you're invading her freedom to manage her own life, but if she's drinking, smoking, and fucking herself to death out of stress, frustration, or anger then she needs help, and if you care about her you'll do something. Anything, even if you don't do anything directly.