Need serious life help and suggestions

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SavageManLove

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#1  Edited By SavageManLove

Hello duders I require your serious assistance. At the good old age of 27 I find myself still living with my parents, not having a car and not remembering totally how to drive because I just stopped trying. Even though I got a Bachelors in Computer Science I ended up just getting a job in a library as a shelver where I've been for 6.5 years. I have poor people skills and skills with girls etc. I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing anymore guys. The last few days have been really tough for me, especially feeling like a disappointment to my parents. I need and want to change.

I honestly want my "career" to be in gaming. That is why I even initially went for my degree as I thought it would be cool to make games. I want to basically be (or at least start off) a lone wolf indie game developer probably starting off with making games for the Ipad/Iphone. I also want to get into writing about/making videos about games. Probably start a youtube channel and try my hand at that.

At work I recently started making every attempt I could to look at patrons and tell them hello or just look them in the eyes even for a brief moment. Also tonight after work my friend had me drive his car to the light rail station. It went pretty well and I'm going to start riding around with my dad I think and eventually just get my own car.

I'm honestly so scared yet so excited right now.

What I want to ask is where I can start with the game development and the youtube production.

Youtube: What would be a good HD camera to buy that's not TOO ridiculously priced and what would be a good video editing program to use.

iOS development: What books/tutorials can I start reading to learn how to development iOS apps and then eventually make games.

Games: are there any good books for just general game development theory and stuff?

Thanks a million and I apologize if this post doesn't totally sound coherent. I'm in a very dark moment mentally right now.

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TheHumanDove

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#2  Edited By TheHumanDove

I dont know anything to really help you out, except for the whole people skills thing. As someone who has suffered from social anxiety in the past and went to a therapist, I'd just like to say you're on the right track with that greeting people thing and you didn't even have to spend hundreds of dollars to figure it out. Good luck! Seem like a good guy

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SavageManLove

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#3  Edited By SavageManLove

@TheHumanDove:

Thanks man.

One other question:

I remember Jeff talking about how to "get into" the biz in some of his Jar videos. Does anyone remember which ones those were? Don't really want to try to re watch all of them.

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DoctorDanger99

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#4  Edited By DoctorDanger99

@SavageManLove: dude,dont let driving get to you. im allmost 30 and ive driven a car probly five times in my life. i dont have anything against cars,i just have no will to drive. i have friends drive me and my girl drives me. it may sound dickish of me but they dont mind and i dont. i just dont drive.

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iam3green

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#5  Edited By iam3green

well good luck with your driving. i would say first thing is to get your self driving. it's not too hard to drive it might be nervous at first good in the run. your going to need money for that.

i'm going to be 25 and yeah kind of the same thing.

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NlGHTCRAWLER

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#6  Edited By NlGHTCRAWLER

I have no advice for you sorry. I'm only 19, but i'm basically in the same boat as you except with a few exceptions. Good luck man!

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Red

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#7  Edited By Red

I'd just like to point out how very many people are trying to make it big on the youtubes and indie game development. While these are good ways to get more immersed into the world of gaming and building a portfolio, actual sustenance from these things are very rare. My brother has been working as a "lone wolf app developer" for about a year now, and hasn't made a dime of profit. There's always a chance to make it big, but that chance is very, very slim.

Build a portfolio and skills, and look for any sort of job opening in any gaming-related company that isn't GameStop.

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nightriff

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#8  Edited By nightriff

IF you are going to do youtube and stuff, be creative, that is what draws people. A lot of youtube channels in my opinion are just garbage. Unless you have good commentary or insight into said games, don't even try just to do generic videos on games. Think outside the box. Since you are into developing, why not play games and comment about how they made this part or that part, why this is impressive or why this is shit. I don't know, something like that.

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SavageManLove

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#9  Edited By SavageManLove

I definitely don't have any delusions about making the next angry birds or something. This is very much a stab in the dark just to see what happens because life sucks anyway type of thing.

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MAGZine

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#10  Edited By MAGZine

Indie games are definitely a hard thing to get recognition in... there is a lot out there and you really have to do something cool to get attention.

Artists. You also need someone who can generate art assets for you. Big one.

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inkerman

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#11  Edited By inkerman

Maybe instead of going for the indie game maker career, use that as your development for a portfolio. Maybe along the way you will make the next angry birds and make a million bucks, however that's fairly unlikely, so instead you can use it as experience and to build up a portfolio to get a job with a games or software company.

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Carryboy

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#12  Edited By Carryboy

My advice, don't try and get life advice from a video game website.

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artelinarose

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#13  Edited By artelinarose

I know this sounds crazy, but go to conventions and then hang out at the developer after parties. Express yourself. It sounds difficult, and I know it really is when you're in the moment and you're socially awkward as all hell, but try to put yourself in the spotlight. Stand out. Several of my friends have gotten freelance jobs for several studios by doing this, the most recent being writing for The Secret World. Once they know you, let them know you have relevant skills. Of course you'll need to have done some actual work to prove it that shows why you're a good choice, so don't be lazy and assume people skills are your only focus, but if you go to PAX and shit anyway, why not give it a try?

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Guns_N_Roses_Child

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You're definitely on the right track by forcing yourself out of your comfort zone. Don't be too hard on yourself on the girl issue, make sure you're happy and content with yourself beforehand, and don't depend on a girlfriend to make you happy. Those relationships are symbiotic, and when they end, you'll be worse off than when you started.

To be honest on the gaming thing, keep your expectations low for that as a career, but keep your enthusiasm high for it as a hobby. Like someone said, indie developers and YouTube content producers are a dime a dozen, so you'll have to be really unique to stand out in the sea of mediocre stuff. Keep your library job for now for the steady income, and start getting serious about game development just as a hobby, nothing more. Download free trials of Unity, Game Maker, etc. and build up your scripting and coding skills. Post whatever rudimentary games you make on forums, no matter how crappy they are. Listen to feedback and advice, and keep improving. Eventually you'll see tangible evidence of yourself improving, and hopefully that'll give you the drive to keep at it. Yeah, you'll get trolled for making garbage at first, but fuck them. You'll get better, and success is the best revenge.

You can do better than a book keeper at a library, so look for a job that'll lead to a career. Unless you know a professional game developer that can get you in the door in the future, don't have your heart set on becoming a developer. But definitely stay passionate about it.

Sorry I can't give you recommendations on video gear and development books (I'm in the music industry,) but I hope that helps :)

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tim_the_corsair

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#15  Edited By tim_the_corsair
@Carryboy

My advice, don't try and get life advice from a video game website.

There are plenty of people here who have been around the block and can have some actual good, relevant advice...

Myself being one of them, actually.

I'm a similar age to the OP and I got myself into a terrible rut for years, no degree, no job, no motivation to do anything but hang out with my girlfriend (who I was driving mental) and play games and make the occasional token effort to look like I was trying to fix myself up.

What it came down to with me; and, indeed, what I'm guessing it comes down to with the OP, is fear.

For me it was fear of failure; fear of rejection; fear of disappointment and, in turn, disappointing those I cared about. I got myself into a such a depressing state simply because I bashed my own ego into submission for no real reason.

Now? I'm married to that same girl, still driving her batty but in different ways. I have a fantastic job, great friends, a good relationship with my family, and I just became a published author. Hell, my football team even just won the grand final! (GO THE STORM!)

The secret? You've already started at it.

You just need some wins. Set those little goals (like talking to strangers or driving) and you will realise that your confidence is coming back. Push yourself, but don't set yourself up to fail.

With the game development, for example, I think you definitely should pursue it. But in the meantime, why not apply for a new, more fulfilling day job as well?

You'll be amazed at how quickly your sense of self belief can grow and how much that can, in turn, influence all other aspects of your life.

Good luck @SavageManLove !
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izzygraze

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#16  Edited By izzygraze
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joemarch

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#17  Edited By joemarch

@IzzyGraze said:

Why not help out on the GB community game project?

I second this suggestion, a project will give you some motivation - something to get up for in the morning, and, as a large team has already been assembled this could help you build up your confidence in your people skills. Trust me I've been in the same boat as you and the secret is just to practice, some people like you some don't but every new person you talk to makes you that one step closer to being more comfortable around people.

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PillClinton

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#18  Edited By PillClinton

Definitely not gonna fix everything, but exercise. Seriously. Most people vastly underestimate the powers of physical exertion on mood and general outlook. It's not just conjecture, either. It's a factual, proven phenomena. The brain releases chemicals that make you feel better about yourself, not to mention the obvious physical benefits. The sedentary lifestyle is one of the absolute worst consequences of modern life.

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Giantstalker

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#19  Edited By Giantstalker

Consider doing a stint in the military, that may (or may not) put things into perspective for you. At the very least, you'll earn some cash before you're discharged.

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pkhilson

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#20  Edited By pkhilson

Well, one thing I can't recommend enough for any man or woman is to get in the best shape of your life. This will increase your self-esteem beyond imagination. Don't know where to start? If you're looking to lose fat or build muscle, this website has 1 year long online coaching programs for both with cash prizes for best transformations: http://www.precisionnutrition.com/products/consultation-coaching/lean-eating-for-men How's that for daily motivation? I'm currently on the program to gain muscle. So far I've put on 13 lbs of lean mass in 5 months. I can vouch that the information, web portal progress tracking tools and coaches are all top notch and well worth the monthly fee (which is a fraction of what a personal trainer alone would cost).

Regarding the girl issue, check out this e-book which is widely considered the Holy Bible when it comes to women and dating: http://www.doubleyourdating.com/catalog/ebook.html. You can find it easily on torrents and such, but at $15 with 4 bonuses, it might be easier to just get it legit.

Regardless of what you decide to do, the important thing is to TAKE ACTION TODAY!

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Carryboy

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#21  Edited By Carryboy

@Tim_the_Corsair said:

@Carryboy

My advice, don't try and get life advice from a video game website.

There are plenty of people here who have been around the block and can have some actual good, relevant advice...

I feel mine is both good and completely relevant advice.

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Bio2hazard

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#23  Edited By Bio2hazard

I found myself in a smiliar position, though with some differences. ( I don't have education past high school, but I have good people skills, lady skills and am super confident :P )

As for making games, I think the best way to start is to just start doing something! I started making a mobile game and I chose Adobe Flash Builder. I like it cause it can compile to desktop, android, iOS and blackberry, and lets you test your app on your computer. It also has really good tutorials and documentations available. And a free 60 day trial so you can try it out.

I worked through thistraining course and found it really easy to get a good understanding how it works.

I'd personally advice against buying books. You can generally find more up-to-date information on the web, for free.

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gamefreak9

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#24  Edited By gamefreak9

All it takes is will and passion, I get so annoyed when people say that they want to work in gaming. Just fucking do it. My neighbor a political science graduate, ran into this site 6 months ago(the hack and slash unity game engine) and has already made a well functioning game, he isn't even a gamer, he has no idea how to further improve it using the latest industry innovations.

It doesn't take much guys... if you want to do it, just do it. If your on forums crying about it or your considering making a youtube channel to broadcast a game before you even started it... then that's just sad. Stop romanticizing bs in your heads, and just put in the hard work.

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DriveupLife

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#25  Edited By DriveupLife

Here are three great videos that I've always recommended to people who want to make big life changes. I hope they help!

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EarlessShrimp

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#26  Edited By EarlessShrimp

Just to let you know, fuckin' sweet working in a library. Librarians unite?

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Flawed_System

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#27  Edited By Flawed_System

@Giantstalker said:

Consider doing a stint in the military, that may (or may not) put things into perspective for you. At the very least, you'll earn some cash before you're discharged.

You can join the police force as well if you don't want to be deployed in the shithole that is Iraq/Afghanistan.

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Ravenlight

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#28  Edited By Ravenlight

I don't have any more advice other than what's been covered. But I wanted to say good luck, duder. Hang in there, baby!

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CaLe

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#29  Edited By CaLe

You need to understand that everything you experience happens inside your head, and that you are the gatekeeper. The path ahead is only what you allow it to be.

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psylah

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#30  Edited By psylah

@EarlessShrimp said:

Just to let you know, fuckin' sweet working in a library. Librarians unite?

I always wanted to try working in a library. Loud and busy places grate my nerves.

Anyways, I don't know much about iPhone / iPad programming, but if you want some practice making mobile programs, the Android SDK is easy to access and use. It comes with the common API libraries to get you started, and you even emulate the entire android experience on your PC for debugging.

Don't worry too much about driving, the actual act thereof and the fact that you don't. It's not so difficult so long as you are attentive, and if you decide not to drive, you save TONS on car insurance, and ladies think you're environmentally conscious.

Want a confidence booster? Buy a suit. Get a fresh haircut. People treat you much differently when you're wearing a suit and are looking dope / fly / fresh. You'll have no problem looking people in the eye, and when you do, no one will think you're a creeper.

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irrelevantjohn

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#31  Edited By irrelevantjohn

@SavageManLove: I'm pretty much in the same boat as you now but I'm only 23 turning 24 soon and I work at a pizza store.

Here's the Youtube advice: I had an old channel back in the days when Youtube wasn't owned by google and I had thousands of subscribers for my videos and now it's 2012 and I can't even hit 10. It's just too cluttered with garbage these days. Make sure to be creative as possible when posting your videos and also don't monazite on them yet and try to go ad-free if possible.

As for the gaming part, I personally know a friend who has made 5 games so far for iOS and Android and they realistically know that's only going to help them with their portfolio for jobs not in the gaming industry. I should mention they are a team of 5 people.

Either way you seem to be stuck in a rut like I am but it might be a good thing since you realize you want change.

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ghost_cat

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#32  Edited By ghost_cat

To be honest, things would be a lot easier if you didn't try to go at this alone. Find someone who is trying to make a game and assist or be part of the project (I'm guessing you already have some knowledge). You will gain more social skills, development skills, and general understanding of video games. When you have a good chunk of experience, then going solo wouldn't be as tough, but great things come from collaborated minds.

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mtcantor

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#33  Edited By mtcantor

The most basic advice for wanting to do anything is to just start doing it. You want to write? Start a blog and start writing, a lot. You want to make youtube videos? Google any one of a hundred different tutorials, don't wait to get the very best camera, and just start making them. Etc etc etc. Don't like perfect be the enemy of good, don't let yourself postpone things, just start doing something.

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SavageManLove

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#34  Edited By SavageManLove

I'm probably going to not focus on too many things at once so I don't go crazy so I might just delve into youtube videos. Found out we actually have a nice hd camera (Rebel T2i) so I'm going to buy an external microphone and probably a stand. I'm trying to figure out what a good program is for capturing footage off of PC games. Also what would be a good program to edit video on a pc?

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irrelevantjohn

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#35  Edited By irrelevantjohn

@SavageManLove: I think you will want to go with FRAPS for capturing PC game footage. I personally like Avid for video editing but it's pricey.

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Fallen189

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#36  Edited By Fallen189

Theres no point asking for help if you dont know what you want to do in your life yet.

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Slag

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#38  Edited By Slag

@SavageManLove:

@Tim_the_Corsair said:

I'm a similar age to the OP and I got myself into a terrible rut for years, no degree, no job, no motivation to do anything but hang out with my girlfriend (who I was driving mental) and play games and make the occasional token effort to look like I was trying to fix myself up.

What it came down to with me; and, indeed, what I'm guessing it comes down to with the OP, is fear.

For me it was fear of failure; fear of rejection; fear of disappointment and, in turn, disappointing those I cared about. I got myself into a such a depressing state simply because I bashed my own ego into submission for no real reason.

Now? I'm married to that same girl, still driving her batty but in different ways. I have a fantastic job, great friends, a good relationship with my family, and I just became a published author. Hell, my football team even just won the grand final! (GO THE STORM!)

The secret? You've already started at it.

You just need some wins. Set those little goals (like talking to strangers or driving) and you will realise that your confidence is coming back. Push yourself, but don't set yourself up to fail.

With the game development, for example, I think you definitely should pursue it. But in the meantime, why not apply for a new, more fulfilling day job as well?

You'll be amazed at how quickly your sense of self belief can grow and how much that can, in turn, influence all other aspects of your life.

Good luck @SavageManLove !

Listen to this man, what he says is true.

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cornbredx

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#39  Edited By cornbredx

I have a similar problem, although I suffer from other issues. 
 
I have recently been trying to get out more but I find it difficult. My fear of people can often be palpable. 
I need to though, because I'm stuck in a really shitty job and I feel I should have more in my life. At this point only laziness holds me back but I am working on finding ways to do what I want to. I have been trying to learn how to program but what I feel I am best at is writing so I got into Quest which is a platform for programming text games. I feel its a good starting point for me, although I have no clue where it would go other then just being a hobby. Probably no where- whateva. 
 
Finding a job in general is difficult, especially in this economy, but networking and meeting people is really the key to success in that. The fact that you are going to try making youtube videos, despite the fact that you are most likely to not see any success with it, suggests you prefer the easy route. In the end you will have to do something that requires harder work if you want more. That's just how it is. To be fair though, this is true of just about anything on the internet so maybe you could get lucky. Doing lets plays is not profitable though. I just want to put that out there. Good way to stretch your writing muscles though if that's your goal. Writing a good riff or commentary outline can be fun but also difficult. 
 
Whatever you do do though, it's going to take hard work to succeed. Picking one thing then stopping will not produce results. That's not a promise, though, that continuously doing it will eventually succeed. This is not necessarily true. There are some peoples videos I watch, who have been doing it for years, and have only a couple hundred viewers or something and make very little. It could be argued that they stunt their own growth. That's another conversation though haha 
 
Hard work, is what it boils down too. That's really it. I'll lastly add it's important to do what your good at and not what you "want" to do. Just because you want to make videos or video games, doesn't mean you are capable of being good at those things. Just food for thought.

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SavageManLove

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#40  Edited By SavageManLove

I'm probably gonna ask for a reduction in hours at work so I have some extra "me" time and try to make best use of it. Been meaning to pick up a bicycle and ride that around a lot and exercise more again. Good way to get out and see things. I may just do that in the next few days. I don't know I just need to clear my head. This work grind is getting to me and I definitely realize I'm a sissy cop out for saying/thinking that given how others in this world have it a lot worse. Thanks for all the suggestions and stuff everyone, one thing at a time.

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Patchcoat

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#41  Edited By Patchcoat

@SavageManLove:

I'll try to actually provide you with some free and fairly cheap suggestions on this one:

- Here's an easy to grasp video editing program. It's pretty bare bones, but for free, it's surprisingly reliable and intuitive. You'll want to move on to a more robust/professional program at some point, but for now, it'll expose you to the basics of video editing.

- As for capturing video game footage, you can try Fraps and Bandicamfor free (here's a pretty good article that compares the two).

- Also, here's a good entry-level microphone. You simply plug it into an USB port and you're pretty much ready to go. It even comes with its own little stand. It should work pretty well for simple voice-over work.

Hope this helps dude, good luck.

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clumsyninja1

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#42  Edited By clumsyninja1

Have you tried to do some volunteer work, it might cheer you up and you might find people that are in the same situation that you are.

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SavageManLove

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#43  Edited By SavageManLove

Hey not to get way too ahead of myself but is it possible to monetize video game reviews? Say sometimes you're on camera and sometimes you show footage you recorded while you comment on something?

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Slag

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#44  Edited By Slag

@SavageManLove: Possible yes

However your odds are very very low of making meaningful money doing that. That's something people are used to getting for free, isn't in heavy demand and there is tons and tons of competition that in many cases will be better produced than what you'll likely be able to put out.

If you want to do it because you like to do it then go for it, but don't expect to make money for years.

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SavageManLove

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#45  Edited By SavageManLove

So I wrote a review for Slender the Eight Pages but I don't see it on the page yet. I take it as a newb who is just now contributing to the site that it has to be mod approved or something? By the way that was really fun (okay maybe not REALLY fun but enjoyable) to do. Was neat to just kind of sit down, think and write a bit. Always wanted to get better at writing. Sorry folks I won't turn this into some personal micro blog. As I said, I really appreciate the replies and calls to be reasonable and maybe tone down the idea that I'll just do this and that and make money blah blah etc.

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fluttershy_princess

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1. Good luck with driving, I'm learning as well.. Life is so much easier when you can get into your own car and go.. Not having to rely on other people or public transits.

2. I have a problem with people as well, I'm getting out of it slowly but surely.. but there was a time I couldn't even order my meals at a restaurant.. I really hope you find a way to overcome that fear as well. :)

3. I don't know much about HD camera's.. or the amazing art of making/writing about video games.. But I'd love to check you out on YouTube, if you start making video's. Just let me know what your channel is called.

Good luck with all of your future endeavors.

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deactivated-5945386c8a570

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@Giantstalker said:

Consider doing a stint in the military, that may (or may not) put things into perspective for you. At the very least, you'll earn some cash before you're discharged.

No, dont go to military, i've been there, no fun. But it WILL put things into perspective :D

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harinosho

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#48  Edited By harinosho

Living with your parents at your age isnt really a big deal. I'm 27 as well, still living with my mom its a pain but my job as a domain admin doesnt pay too well. , living alone isnt cheap by any means. If you can afford living alone, go for it, it also makes it easier bringing woman home.

in any case, as people have said, working out helpsI weight 90KG started working out because of pure self hate of what I had become and lost 30KG with constant work out regime.helps you get focus and also assetiveness.

I had the same issue with speaking to people. trying changing your enviroment, i worked as a sales rep to build my communcation skills. greeting people at your work and people visiting can help alot.

fuck learning to drive, i learned how to drive, got a car. paying out of my ass ever since, South Africa petrol (gas) prices are through the roof.. if you want a mode of transport. get a bike, or scooter, just dont ride like a moron...

If you want to get into games, speak to people. Doing it alone is near impossible unless you have god hand luck on your side and the money to back it somehow. saying you want to do something is just you reassuring yourself that you still have a plan in mind but not taking action.

anyway.

hope you make it

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#49  Edited By ShockD

I don't understand why people just want to follow a specified life pattern. I believe that living your life the way YOU want is the way to go. You shouldn't let the society dictate you how to live your life. If you really do mean and want to do something, it will eventually happen; time is the only variable here. If you do something forcibly you'll either end up unhappy or not accomplishing it at all.
 
In my country we have an appropriate saying about this phenomenon, it's that you can't gain beauty by forcing it.

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#50  Edited By runnah555

First off stop feeling sorry for yourself. No one gets anywhere in life out of pity. The time spent feeling sorry for yourself could be spent making your life better.

Secondly, get a second job and make enough money to move the hell out. Not only does it cramp your style living with mom, it also keeps you acting like a child. Having your own place will make you more confident.

Thirdly, Take every spare moment and bust your ass to learn the skills you want in whatever trade you really want to do. Every single field these day is super competitive, so you'd better have awesome skill sets and a kick ass portfolio.

Lastly, exercise. It is such a mood enhancer that a good work out will break most anyone's "depression". Plus you might be able to score some ladies if you aren't packing extra pounds.

Cliff notes:

1. Don't be a bitch

2. Move out

3. Bust ass

4. Work Out