Oh dear... Science creates another abomination! The Kissenger!

BEHOLD THE NIGHTMARE FUEL!!!

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/7.382567-Terrifying-Kissing-Device-Enables-Long-Distance-Love-Sort-Of

Dear God... That is one of the scariest things I have ever seen in my entire being of existence! Seriously, it is a egg with a fucking frown on it! IT IS AN EGG WITH A FROWN ON IT!!! The worse thing... is that you are supposed to kiss it and make out with it... that is so ungodly terrifying that it sends shivers down my back. Like... what if it glitches up and bites your tongue off? Seriously, what then!? You can't tell anyone that you had your tongue bitten off, not only because you can't speak well anymore but also the fact that it would come with you admitting you own such a horrifying device!

Also... this is the LEAST scary one they made! Yes people... this is the least scary version they have made so far... I am not sure if I am happy or scared even more!

GiantBomb... you guys know what must be done... PHOTOSHOP HOOOOO!!!

Henry Kissinger would make a sweet cyborg.

...yeah, if she's that far away and I'm longin' for some lovin', I'll just go have a date with Rosie Palms.

EDIT: I wonder what happens if you... ah... "get creative" with it?

@Jay444111 said:

Seriously, it is a egg with a fucking frown on it! IT IS AN EGG WITH A FROWN ON IT!!!

You mean Zero Punctuation?

Hmm, interesting concept. This seems like the sort of thing you'd find on extremerestraints.com.

#middlest

...yeah, if she's that far away and I'm longin' for some lovin', I'll just go have a date with Rosie Palms.

EDIT: I wonder what happens if you... ah... "get creative" with it?

@MikeGosot said:

@believer258 said:

...yeah, if she's that far away and I'm longin' for some lovin', I'll just go have a date with Rosie Palms.

EDIT: I wonder what happens if you... ah... "get creative" with it?

DEAR GOD! You had to go there didn't you?

What? Everyone was thinkin' it, I'm just sayin' it.

Wasnt this a Futurama episode? 

@believer258 said:

...yeah, if she's that far away and I'm longin' for some lovin', I'll just go have a date with Rosie Palms.

EDIT: I wonder what happens if you... ah... "get creative" with it?

Heh.. heh.

@RPGee: That's creepy.

I stopped reading at "not interested in "sexual uses for [the Kissenger]"

@BraveToaster:

Even creepier when you look around the site for a little bit before realising "Oh wait, I'm single."

This is a joke right? This has to be a joke. I'm not gonna carry a friggin nightmare egg around with me so get a robo kiss from anybody.

How does it go with the gooch?

...yeah, if she's that far away and I'm longin' for some lovin', I'll just go have a date with Rosie Palms.

EDIT: I wonder what happens if you... ah... "get creative" with it?

the video is horrible, everyone in it is like WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT GUY KISSING THAT EGG FOR!?!?!?!?

since it wont let me post the video here

Just put some googly eyes and a wig on it.

Looks like something you'd find living down the hall from Eraserhead.

Seriously people... time to use photoshop skills... we kind of need to!

gud .great conversation here.its relly helpful..

I think I saw this on geekologie, like, 2 years ago.

Lars and the creepy egghead dildonics peripheral.

Can it preform oral?