I'm not going to pretend to really understand how women are treated, in online playing, or with game development (regardless of job/position). I do understand some of the impulse that men have towards women. There are three issues involved primarily:
1. Guys (incorrectly) see women gaming as some sort of encroachment on "their territory", as it were. These are the same idiots who tell a woman to "get back in the kitchen" if she dares utter a word while playing Call of Duty. That's usually why most women I know don't even bother with a headset when they play, because they don't want to get harassed by idiots. Here's a small flowchart of typical male gamer behavior:
1. Girl Speaks in a game (there's a female in here!)
2A. "You're either fat, ugly, or don't know how to play. Stop playing." (the usual response)
2B. "Woah, a girl? How old are you? You hot? Got Pics?" (the other usual response)
3B. Woman says "Uh, I just want to game" (Because she does, and doesn't want to be harassed)
4B. Guy then immediately proceeds to step 2A because his lame pickups were shot down. (Thus the cycle is complete)
2. There is a gender disparity within the gaming population. While you can argue about specifics and such, there is a bit of an imbalance with regards to number of men vs. number of women playing games. Here is a thought experiment to deal with:
(General set up)
Step 1: Assume that for every female gamer there is 10 guy gamers, as a ratio. So, for every 5 female gamers, there is 50 male gamers.
Step 2: With this 1 to 10 ratio, think about the ratio of single female gamers out there (in a group). I'm friendly with a decent amount of female gamers, and 9 out of 10 are either married, or have a boyfriend. I'm sure others might have different opinions, but there is also a disparity between single female gamers vs. "attached" female gamers. For the sake of this experiment, imagine that ratio is still 1 to 10. So for every 10 female gamers, 1 is single. So, in my original analogy, it translates into 100 guy gamers for every 1 single female gamer. (Just as a general example)
It's analogous to the "small fish in a big pond" quote, with a single female gamer having a LARGE number of guys that are interested in her. This is the primary reason why most guy gamers are so obnoxious/angry towards women. It's a mix of loneliness/rejection/and depression that is the cause. (Mixed in with the usual internet anonymity thing). Most guys want a girlfriend that plays games, and when they don't have one, they become bitter and angry because of it.
(Actual thought experiment)
Step 3: With all that being said, imagine a world in which the gender ratios were reversed. That for every 100 Felicia Day's in the world, there was a nerdy guy. More-over, all 100 of the Felicia's, or Morgan Webb's, or whomever, were *AFTER* this guy non-stop, in hopes of getting a relationship with him (or really, just casual sex, which is what a large chunk of guys want). Now imagine you, the reader, was transported to this world. Do you think that there would be a lot of guys playing Halo complaining non-stop about women? No, of course not. It would be somewhat the opposite actually, with 20 women all instantly messaging you, and asking you if you're single, and the like.
Summation: While there are some outliers (sociopaths, trolls, etc.), most guys aren't inherently bad, or evil, just bitter and lonely. It's no excuse for guy behavior's online, but it is at least one reason to understand it.
3. A lot of developers and the media aren't even consciously aware of a problem. Most gaming sites only have 4 (max) women on them, as staff. Think about it, it's actually about the same ratio (1 woman to 10 men) when it comes to developers/reviewers. A friend of mine recently asked me why Giant Bomb doesn't have any female writers. I tried giving the reason that Jeff/Ryan/Vinny/Brad were the core group, and that they would expand, if needed. But honestly, that's a bit of garbage. How many women have been on the Bombcast over the years? I can think of two, Leigh Alexander, and Carrie Gouskos. And Carrie semi-doesn't count, because of her Hotspot/Gamespot connection. Compare that to the over two dozen guys on the Bombcast, over the years. Now, I don't think Giant Bomb hates women, by any means, but most everyone seems guilty of it, whether they are conscious of it or not. Gamespot (proper) has only one, Carolyn female, and that's it. The auxiliary GS sites (notably Australia) have more women, Laura Parker chief among them, but it's still not a perfect ratio.
Women are over 51% of the population (as a whole), but are only represented by about 20% (if that) when it comes to gaming. Now, not all women are into games, for sure, but the same can be said about men as well. Still, there is an uneven distribution of men and women in gaming. I have a female friend who works in game marketing, and frankly puts my computer/game knowledge to shame. She's said that when she goes to game events with her boyfriend, developers/designers always go up to him and ask him about stuff. Not her. He's not even that into games, but he's there to support her. That is another example of the inherent problem with the current gaming climate. I can think of only 5 or 6 female designers/developers off the top of my head: Brenda Romero (nee Brathwaite), Kim Swift, Corrinne Yu, Jade Raymonde, Amy Hennig, and a few others. Compare that to the dozens of male designers that most everyone knows, Kojima, CliffyB, Miyamoto, Inafune, American McGee, Sakaguchi, the list goes on.
I'm not going to pretend to say I have any real answers, but people should at least see this as a general problem, and hopefully address it. Otherwise, the gaming population is just going to get more and more fragmented, especially as more younger girls get into gaming, they're only going to encounter assholes in the future, which is good for no one.