This past Father's Day, I was finally able to give my dad the essential gift that every son should give their father. No, I'm not talking about making him proud by becoming highly successful, buying a new house and marrying a beautiful woman. He'll be waiting awhile for that. I am, of course, talking about the James Bond blu-ray collection! This amazing box set compiles every single film in the series so far in a very classy presentation of two disc-packed books. In honesty, maybe this gift was as much for myself as it was for him. My dad loves old spy movies, the Bonds included, although he hasn't seen all of them. I like spy stuff a lot too, and I haven't seen ANY of them in their entirety, outside of the Craig films. Nope, not even Goldeneye! As far as I know, that movie is just four dudes in a small building shooting each other with paintball guns.
With the much-anticipated Spectre releasing later this year, I thought what better way for some father and son bond-ing than to watch all 23 007 movies in order? The thought really excited me, because it's something I've been wanting to do for some time. The goal is to watch them all before Spectre comes out this November, which really shouldn't be too hard. We've already gotten through the first two, Dr. No and From Russia With Love. I don't really want to review them, rather just gather some thoughts and observations I made while watching them. Also, though I am a movie lover, I really can't help myself but to make fun of poor/outdated special effects and old filmmaking conventions, something that both my father and I did plenty of throughout these first two movies. It's part of what makes watching them together so much damn fun. I can't wait to run through the rest of the series, but the rest of this blog will focus on the first two.
What more logical place to start than at the beginning? Dr. No kicked this legendary franchise off in 1962. It's a somewhat slow start, too. For a series that is mostly known for big stunts and crazy action sequences, the first outing is understandably light on the action. I really didn't know what to expect from these earlier films given the budget and age, though I must say that From Russia With Love does a much better job at setting the precedent for what this series is.
That said, Dr. No is still a fun flick. Maybe a bit ironically more than unironically at this point, but the film still has as much charm as Bond himself. If anything, it does a great job of introducing us to the character of James Bond and who he really is: a master spy with an eternal boner who fucks his way across the globe. Seriously, I didn't think these old films would lean so heavily on that (especially as I'm not familiar at all with Fleming's novels), but he really does just bang like 4 women in this first movie alone. And you know what? They're all still pretty smokin' hot! Particularly the first real Bond girl, Honey Ryder, played by the lovely Ursula Andress. They still really knew how to pick 'em, even back then. The idea of this era of Bond in 2015 is incredibly misogynistic but also undeniably fun. It's seriously funny watching hordes of beautiful women throw themselves at a young Sean Connery moments after meeting him as if they had no free will of their own.
Speaking of Connery, one of the first things I, or rather my dad pointed out, was that his eyebrows are huge. They actually wrap around to his temples, which seems absurd. I was not able to stop noticing that after he mentioned it. Weird. He certainly was a handsome fellow back then, though. Even I don't know if I could've kept myself off him. He really does embody this character perfectly. It's crazy to think that Fleming thought he was terrible at first and had to come around later on. Connery just exudes this air of class, efficiency, and sense of always knowing what to do and being in control, even when he isn't. Just by looking at him, you know he's a stone cold bad ass and will ruin your fucking day in an instant if prompted. "It's a Smith & Wesson, and you've had your six" is legitimately one of the coolest one-liners I've ever heard. However, for all that coolness, there are more than a few laughs to be had at his expense.
There are parts of Dr. No that are humorous in their absurdity, and then parts that are flat out gut-bustingly hilarious. The chick "spying" on Bond with that massive fucking camera by taking pictures of him standing like a foot and a half away? You can't not laugh at that. The amazing green screen work (or back then, I'm guessing it was just a video playing behind the actors?) of the car chase is also notable. It was already good enough that the car chasing Bond just appeared to grow comically large as it approached from behind. But then he had to duck and drive under a crane, a scene that literally had my dad and I in tears because of how ridiculous it looked now. Never mind the scene in which Bond and Honey Ryder are being decontaminated in Dr. No's hidden lab by having white goo sprayed out of a hose onto their naked bodies. You don't even need to guess at the jokes that ...came out of that one. That dude Quarell was such a cockblocker, too. There are about 4 or 5 instances where Bond and Ryder are about to get it on, and this guy just chimes in out of nowhere, "Mr. Bond, come quick!". Well, dude, he's either gotta come quick or not at all if you keep fucking interrupting!
Dr. No's story is mildly interesting on its own, and its set-up of "mad scientist/genius is doing/building something that threatens the world" would become commonplace for much of the series. I was actually under the impression that a lot of these movies were self-contained, but Dr. No vaguely introduces SPECTRE and sets the stage for the next few films. What I thought was kind of weird was that the titular villain barely plays a direct part in the film and doesn't even show up until the the last 30 minutes or so. I'd say this was a fairly ineffective way at trying to portray a good villain. I did enjoy the little bit of screen time he did get, however.
Is Dr. No a classic? Sure. I don't think it holds up as well as others might, but it is enjoyable. Maybe not a great way to showcase what the series is all about, but this is the OG Bond, man. It deserves your respect and attention!
Now THIS one I was truly excited for. I'd always heard from many that this was one of, if not THE best Bond movie. As a younger guy who's not an old fart looking at things through smudgy rose-tinted glasses, I wasn't inclined to prepare myself for that level of awesome (also seeing as Casino Royale is probably in my top 10 favorite films of all time). But I gotta say, this was a quite excellent sequel and handily outdid Dr. No in practically every respect. The films were made only a year apart, but there is a world of difference in story, characters, action, and general quality. I'm sure having double the budget (a whole 2 MILLION DOLLARS!) helped quite a bit. I just found From Russia With Love to be infinitely more entertaining.
This film starts making use of its wide cast of characters to much better effect than its predecessor. Here, I found it easy to pinpoint exactly where Mike Meyers got many of his ideas for Austin Powers. Rosa Klebb was a standout. The idea of a little old Austrian lady being tasked with spearheading an operation to kill of the world's top spies is ridiculous enough, but her personality and actions are priceless, particularly when she's being chewed out by Blofeld, and then at the end when she's fighting Bond. She also punches legendary screen actor Robert Shaw in the stomach near the beginning just to test his strength. Funny as hell, probably unintentionally so. My dad got a real kick out of the amazing punching sounds used in this film; something like an old wooden chair being thrown against a large metal sheet. Anyway, Shaw plays an ex-KGB agent working for SPECTRE, named Donald Grant. He doesn’t get a ton of screen time, but I couldn’t help but think how damn cool this guy was the entire time. Kind of a shame he had to go out and couldn’t live to…die another day. But you know who else was cool? Connery. Sean fucking Connery was cool, even cooler and more of a bad ass than in Dr. No. Even when he’s a huge dork he’s still cool. I’m starting to get why he is so beloved in these films. He's just fun to watch.
One interesting twist was that the audience knows that the Bond girl, Tatiana Romanova, is supposedly evil the entire time. She lures Bond in with, what else, her good looks and lots of screwing literally within seconds of meeting him. This is all part of the assassination game that SPECTRE or SMERSH or whoever the fuck is playing. Romanova’s actress, Daniela Bianchi, doesn’t actually speak a lick of English and all her lines are overdubbed by another actress. It works out pretty convincingly, to my surprise.
What really makes From Russia With Love so entertaining, especially after watching Dr. No, is that everything is ratcheted up another few notches. The trademark gadgets are introduced here, and there is more espionage, more sexual innuendo, and more action. Especially the action! Most of it is loaded into the last act, but if you’re curious to see what an action film from the early 1960’s looks like, I assure you that it’s much better than you’d think. A huge shootout, a boat chase, a weird helicopter part, and a brutal fistfight between Bond and Grant in a passenger train car that holds up way better than it has any right to (the fight holds up, I mean. The train car actually takes a beating). Sure, much of the action is filled with odd editing choices and awkwardly drawn out shots, but for being over 50 years old, I certainly can’t complain! Oh, and there’s a super bizarre and hysterically bad cat fight between two hot tribal women that has absolutely nothing to do with anything. Perhaps the highlight of the film.
I would have to say that From Russian With Love left me with a pretty good feeling and made me even more eager to see how the series evolved from there. I’m also incredibly excited to watch the actual shitty Bond movies like Moonraker, because I’m sure they’re jam-packed with the terrible, corny goodness I’m looking for. But for now, Goldfinger is next in line! Thanks for reading!
Log in to comment