For someone who owns Arma II, I can say that it is a great game. Its realism is incredibly immersive, while still cutting a little slack for the player in some areas like healing teammates, operating vehicles, etc. It is pretty buggy, but not unbearably so. For me, the game is good enough for me to ignore most of them (I haven't played much of the campaign, which is supposedly where it gets pretty bad). And don't expect super high production values either. Bohemia Interactive is a relatively small studio with no outside funding. The voice system patches together independently recorded words when the AI gives you specific information about stuff on the battlefield, and when there is actual dialogue, it is horrendously (yet hilariously) bad.
Unfortunately, the game is not very well optimized. I have a quad core, 3 gb of ram, and an aging 8800gt, and the game only runs okay on normal settings on a medium resolution with no AA. Most people seem to run the game on higher settings fine with newer GTX 260's, 280's, and AMD 4870 cards though. If you have a crappy computer, then I wouldn't buy this game.
Arma II has a very large and committed community, which is another thing to consider when looking at this game. There are tons of mods and user-made single-player and coop missions, many of which are legitimately good (and the performance in the user-made missions and the game's independent scenarios tend to have better performance than the campaign). Multiplayer is also pretty active, and for many people is a significant part of the game. Multiplayer is kind of "meh" if you just join a random server and start playing, but it truly shines if you join an online group like Tactical Gamer where they organize lots of co-op and multiplayer events. Some of these groups can create obligations, but I know that some of the Tactical Gamer groups are pretty low-commitment, which is a great place for new players to start.
All in all, your possible enjoyment from Arma II really comes down to tolerance of bugs and performance issues, as well as having the patience to get past the learning curve and getting involved with the community. It may seem overwhelming at first, and requires patience in learning how to play, but can be extremely rewarding. It is a game unlike most other games out there, and is not for everyone. I would encourage you to go on Youtube and look up some Arma II videos to get a better idea of what the game is like, and whether or not you want to pay $50 for it. You can also check out the Arma II forums and look around on Tactical Gamer's website to look at the community and ask questions. I personally love the game, and is one of the few purchases that I thought was actually worth full price, despite the low production values.
And finally, I have heard that the Steam version of the game takes a long time to patch, so you may want to consider buying retail if you have a slow connection. And, after looking at the game, it doesn't seem like you would like it, you could also wait and see how Operation Flashpoint 2 turns out. There isn't a whole lot of meaningful gameplay footage out right now, so I am pretty unsure of how it will turn out, but it does look like it will be much less realistic and "hardcore" as Arma II (which isn't necessarily a bad thing).
Edit- And try the demo too!
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