My Neighbor Totoro (blu ray)
Finally upgraded from my DVD fox release. Movie is every bit as lovely and charming as I remembered.
Guardians of the Galaxy
Holy crap I freaking loved this film. The whole sequence at the end with the when Peter takes hold of the stone. That whole sequence had me in awe and I've been rewatching (the same clip) over and over again for the last 24 hours. Everything from the cinematography, acting and the score I thought was excellent.
Figured today I'd have myself a Critically Maligned Sci-Fi of 2015 Double Bill.
First up, Jupiter Ascending. I'm not sure if this is some kind of weird counterbalance from coming into the film with rock-bottom expectations, but I really enjoyed it. It's everything I like about the The Wachowskis combined with everything I like about high-camp space operas. Not going to say it was the best film ever, or even what would be considered "good" by any reasonable standard, but as an unbelievably huge budget wacky auteur project, it pushed way more of my buttons than I was expecting. It's a massive mess, but seeing them having an unlimited limited amount of cash to just slop as much of their feverish imagination onto the screen as possible is jaw dropping. I mean, dragon men who live in a human harvesting plant in the centre of the planet Jupiter? And that's just, you know, one location from the film. And whoever was playing the big baddie, oh wow. That was amazing. Terrible, yet absolutely amazing.
Sure, it'll go down in history as a massive failure and The Wachowskis won't get another blank cheque, but I'm so happy it exists.
My gut says 3/5, My unreasonable heart says 5/5.
Second up, Chappie. Very entertaining. Essentially Robocop meets Short Circuit in gangland South Africa. A kind of high minded low brow entertainment. Mid-brow, if you will. It looks fantastic and feels great, which is what I've come to expect from a Neill Blomkamp movie. Very real, very grounded and very gritty. I like it. Along with the character of the film, the individuals were also fun. Chappie was charming, of course, but Hugh Jackman's hyper Aussie was great and Die Antwoord were legit hilarious. Then tie it all together with a surprisingly sweet story, that Zef attitude and some big robot fights and you've got yourself a good time!
A solid 4/5
So, what I'm essentially saying is that the public consensus and general movie critics kind of suck. Also, I've enjoyed every film by these directors in the past, so I've probably got the worst taste ever anyway.
Roar is not a good movie in the traditional since. However, it is entertaining just because it is so crazy. Imagine this: Crazy director, actors willing to do anything and 150 untrained big cats (big like lions, tigers, leopards) on the set. That is not the plot, that is the reality behind the movie. Titled as "the most dangerous movie ever made", Roar works as thrilling black comedy where you are constantly wondering how badly people were injured in the scenes you are watching.
Rating: 4/5
Terminator Genisys: It's a dumb action movie, but I kinda liked it. Arnold was pretty good in it and it had some decent action scenes. The story is beyond stupid and Hollywood should really stop pushing terrible Australian actors into movies (first Sam Worthington, now Jai Courtney).
Rating 2,5/5
Upstream Color
4/5
Not your typical movie. Reminded me a little of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind in some ways. Worth a watch if you're looking for something a little different.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again - this is one of the best films released in the past decade. If you are at all interested in film as an art form, as poetry, as something more than entertainment, watch it. But with that is the caveat that the narrative is very loose and, well, poetical. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with wanting entertaining, pulpy film or whatever, but a lot of people will find this film pretty rebarbative. It's the sort of film where if you're not receptive to it, not willing to let it wash over you, you'll probably just be irritated.
Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans.
This movie was overly long, filled with scenes where nothing happens, and despite it being known for one of Nicolas Cage's most insane performances, He just doesn't have enough scenes where he really lets loose to support a two hour movie. The whole time I was wishing I was watching The Wicker Man.
3/10.
I kind of want to watch this again. When I first watched it it put me of Herzog's dramatic output for years. Maybe I should go back to it, ow that I understand what he does a bit better. Maybe it's just not that great...
We Are Still Here - 7/10
A really fun little (and I do mean "little"... minus credits, the movie's only 70-some minutes long) haunted house story with a heaping helping of splatter. It's kind of a potpourri of horror tropes and styles cut together in a way that somehow works even though it really shouldn't.
If it weren't so fun, however, I'd have to give it a much lower score as the story is rather dumb and bordering on nonsense, and the ghost design is wholly unoriginal and far from frightening. Thankfully they make up for it with some subtly funny dialogue, a great 80s look ("wood paneling" 80s, not "neon" 80s), and a whole lot of the red stuff.
Horns - 8/10 (secretly 9 out of 10 for great and clever usage of Marilyn Manson in the soundtrack)
Huh. Okay, I'm impressed. Book was better, yada yada, etc., but they did an excellent job here. Not a fan of some seemingly super arbitrary changes... I think they really fucked up the character of Lee Tourneau, for instance... but they did do quite well adapting a book that doesn't readily open itself to adaptations.
And I owe an apology to Daniel Radcliffe: After seeing the Harry Potter films, I was under the impression that the guy was a pretty poor actor (I haven't seen Woman In Black). Turns out he's gotten really, really good. I fully forgot he was British, or that I previously spent hours and hours watching him Expecto-ing some Patronums while squeakily screamcrying about his angst. Completely and utterly bought him as Ig.
One thing: The bit with the wings. What the hell was that!? I actually cringed at how silly that was. And then I was a bit shocked that they managed to stick the landing and make it kind of badass a second later.
I didn't know anything about John Wick except for a trailer I saw that made it look dumb. Then I saw it was on HBO Now and decided to give it a whirl after hearing positive things. The movie is dumb but in the most over-the-top actiony-est way possible. Holy shit he murders so many people I think he's got Nathan Drake beat. That would be my only complaint, the killing is almost too much to bear and is fairly non stop.
The stuff surrounding the assassin's hotel intrigued me. That and the nature of the world the movie presents reminded me of Hitman but on "speed".
Also, I would do the same if someone messed with my dog. But I'd call on the assistance of agent Rorie first.
4/5
How to Train a Dragon 2
The movie is quite a lot worse than the first one, despite the fact that it looks a lot better (I watched the two films back to back). The first movie promotes understanding, non-violence and diplomacy. Given the amount of wars waging around the world right now, I thought that that message, even if it was a bit crudely done in the film, was really important. And, I thought watching the main character and his dragon form a relationship was really fun.
The second film deviates from this message drastically, and, for reasons I don't completely understand, changes the message from one where non-violence is not only an end in itself, but is also effective, to one where violence is the only answer (because some megalomaniacs are insane and can't be reasoned with). And, additionally, unlike movies like the Hunger Games, or even Harry Potter, the horrors of warfare are not really present at all in the film. Like many other movies where horrific violence occurs, most of it is whitewashed, and everyone is super happy to win at the end, despite the tremendous losses they suffered.
The animation in the second film is still top notch (it looks quite a bit better than Inside Out, for example) and the characters are mostly interesting (though there are a lot of stereotypes that it would have been better they didn't use). And Toothless, the main dragon, is as cute as ever.
3/5
Friday the 13th (2009): 3/5
I had never gotten around to seeing this. And I was especially disinterested after what they did to Elm Street a year later. But I had just finished listening to a retrospective podcast on the F13 franchise, and I wanted to cap it off, so I finally watched this reboot.
You know what? It's not half bad. Maybe because I care more about the Freddy mythos than Jason's, but I actually liked seeing a smarter, less superhuman version of Mommy's special boy. Not sure I cared for him taking prisoners or having traps and floodlights (it begs the mental image of Jason actually setting these things up, and that's just weird to think about), but it's something different, and I had fun watching it. Also, the latest of late title cards. Love a good late title card, and half an hour in is just silly. A good silly.
I do wish it had been a full-blown reboot, with Pamela Voorhees as the killer for the whole film, but I can't blame them for not going that far. People want Jason, and it would have just baffled newcomers and non genre fans who only know the series as "those Jason movies". But it would have been a really cool touch.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
I regret everything that led me to watching this. It was god awful.
3/10
Ant-Man: This movie was bereft of soul apart from a few moments which were clever. Other than that it was basically Iron Man again, signalling Marvel's utter devotion to their Superhero Origin Movie Formula and, as a result, my saturation point for this nonsense. EDGAR WRIGHT WOULD'VE DONE IT BETTER. 6/10
The Warriors: Watched this again last night with my roommates because it is up on Netflix for the first time in a solid decade. Holy shit this movie is marvelous--the fights are good, some stuff gets blown up, the costume design is fucking unreal, and come on the CAN YOU COUNT, SUCKAS speech is one of the best speeches ever. That said, the female lead only has a few interesting moments and is mostly there to be shrill. Can't beat that bathroom rumble, though. 8/10
It Follows
4.5/5
Filmed very realistically. A great psychological horror film. That follows an STD's journey to be loved and accepted.
Terminator Genisys - 2/5
Quite possibly the most miscast franchise film I've seen in a while. For all her charms, Emilia Clarke does not make for a very good warrior woman and Jai Courtney, well, where to start with Jai Courtney? He's just a hulking lump of pine. Completely wooden and dull to look at. I swear you can see his co-stars frustration during dialogue as to being lumped with this antipodean manikin. Anyhoo, it's a stupid blockbuster with completely dull and flaccid action that just really makes me question whether James Cameron just got plain lucky with those first two brilliant films. CGI young Arnie looked pretty stellar though.
Inside Out - 5/5
They may have had a rocky couple of years, but this is Pixar back at their very best. Touching, hilarious and utterly beautiful in it's animation and execution, it's an absolute triumph. The odd thing is that while it's all bright and sparkly, this really isn't a kid's film. It's melancholic, weird and has more nods to 1950s studio Hollywood than it does to the usual zany jokes you find in family films. Pete Doctor is quickly becoming Pixar's MVP. That Pixar took a gamble like this makes me very, very happy.
It Follows. 7/10 on IMDB. I liked the concept quite a bit. Some of the execution and acting of the secondary characters kinda fell flat but overall it was definitely worth a watch. Cool to see a horror movie aimed at girls.
Friday the 13th (2009): 3/5
I had never gotten around to seeing this. And I was especially disinterested after what they did to Elm Street a year later. But I had just finished listening to a retrospective podcast on the F13 franchise, and I wanted to cap it off, so I finally watched this reboot.
Out of curiosity, was it the Fearshop podcast?
@apparatus_unearth: Nah, Horror Etc. podcast. It was a good one, but I'm always hoping to find ones that really get into each film like Now Playing does. Their Elm Street retrospective is the best I've ever heard.
The Guest. Pretty fucking incredible. Saw the description on Netflix and got it confused with another movie so I decided I wasn't going to watch it. Someone else recommended it to me as being incredible so I said, eh, I'm bored, let's give it a shot.
Immediately blown away. Fantastic cast, fantastic soundtrack, and an interesting take on at least several different formulas. By the half way point of the movie, or at least near it, I thought for sure I knew where it was heading, and was expecting it. It subverted my expectations and shifted gears into a completely different, and entirely more exciting, direction.
I tend to at least somewhat predict where a movie is going to go before it gets there but The Guest surprised me big time by the turn it takes and so I have got to recommend it.
If that's not enough to sell you: It shares a lot of similarity with Drive, particularly featuring a character who is so charming it's kind of disturbing. The soundtrack is also very hip to the hop of electro/dubstep/synthwave whatever you want to call it because I'm out of touch with the youth of today. Fantastic shot framing. The movie has such a nice visual fragrance about it. Oh, and the ending is great.
It's all positives for me. Check it out on Netflix if you can. Holla'cha'boi.
Finally watched John Wick, totally solid Keanu action movie and I am glad there making a sequel. I really like how every move in every fight that he is in, is supposed to put the person hes fighting in line with his gun barrel.
Last movie I watched was Tim Burton's Batman.
I'll give it 4 out of 5 stars. It turned out being much better than I remembered it being, I guess memories were poisoned by Batman and Robin. Nicholas does a much better job with capturing the twisted humor of Joker than I thought he would. I didn't care for Joker bothering to court a random woman he saw in a photo, or the fact that Batman straight up lets the joker die. Also, as a fun aside, I think this movie might be where the line launcher in the arkham games came from.
Went and saw the new Vacation last night. This movie is getting a totally unfair thrashing. It ain't perfect and a lot of it is pretty low-brow stuff, but it is well done and plenty funny enough throughout. A few scenes fall flat but the film moves at such a rapid pace that you're never kept waiting for long before the next set-piece. I liked the performances of the entire family, including the kids. Bad child actors can destroy even the best films but they made you hate them in the way they were supposed to. There are some great cameos, too. The movie is simple, dumb fun. I find it more comparable to We're the Millers (which is a better movie, too) than the original Vacation. 4 outta 5.
Unfriended - 3.5/5
Well, butter my glutes and call me Crash Bandicoot. I thought this was going to be the hottest garbage. Turns out it was actually alright. I'll leave this short, since the movie relies on trying to keep you guessing (it kinda fails at that, but I won't ruin it just in case).
The Nightmare - 2/5
Hmm. It started off decent. A documentary about sleep paralysis with re-enactments of the interviewees' hallucinations is an awesome idea on paper. Unfortunately, the re-enactments are corny as hell, and the interviewees seemed... a bit less than reliable. I learned absolutely nothing while watching this that I didn't already know from five minutes on Wikipedia, which is a bad sign for a documentary.
One thing that annoyed the hell out of me: In one scene late in the movie, there's a random shot of monitors showing unfinished greenscreen effects from earlier re-enactments. For some reason. Did they think we were so petrified by the actors in black bodysuits and the dollar-budget tarantula jumpscare that we simply had to see their greenscreen footage to be reassured that it wasn't real? Maybe we were supposed to be so in awe of the masterpiece brought before us that we'd be clamoring to see what's behind the scenes? Or perhaps the shot was there to make us question whether we ourselves were simply dreaming? Woooooooooo...
For fuck's sake.
Editing a week later:
Nightmare on Elm Street 1, 2, and 3: 5/5, 4/5, and 4.5/5
I probably reviewed these in this thread before, but hey. Still awesome. And to save myself some time after I rewatch the rest: Yep, still awesome as well. Even the shitty ones.
Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie: Shitpickle/5
I can't give this one any sort of serious rating, as the entire thing is just a silly lark and fan service. I enjoyed it, but I'd never recommend it to anybody but the kinds of people who will have already watched it by now. Not sure whether I liked this or the Ashens movie more, but I'm starting to come to the realization that movies about people looking for shitty games are a thing that I like. That's... weird.
More editing, so I don't double post:
Goodnight, Mommy/Ich Seh, Ich Seh: 5/5
Damn, that was good. Another movie I don't want to spoil by talking too much about it, so suffice to say that it's tense as hell and all kinds of creepy. After It Follows left me disappointed, I'm glad to see that the hype paid off on this one. I'm sure it will be just as divisive as It Follows, but either way, I think this is my horror film of 2015 so far.
Finally saw Lucy, what a dumb fucking movie, but it was short and they didnt try to make the bad guys seem like a threat when they clearly shouldn't be anymore.
Mission Impossible Rogue Nation. 4 stars out of 4. Far too good than any reasonable expectation of a MI Movie and easily the best in the series. Might be the best Summer popcorn flick of the year.
Starship Troopers - 4.1/5 - It was a fun film but it's no Robocop
Frank - W/10 - I liked it; hit me in my heart spot.
History of Future Folk - D outta G - It's fun to watch a group of people slap a dumb movie together, but it was just kinda mediocre to me.
It's Such A Beautiful Day - Medium Spicy - I like Don Hertzfeldt, but, "Temporary Anesthetics" turned into a feature length film kinda dragged on for me.
Just saw MI: Rogue Nation. Went in wanting a fun and awesome movie full of crazy chases and over the top plot. It delivered exactly what I wanted in spades. 8/10, would recommend if that type of movie appeals to you at all.
Blue Ruin. Great film. its a revenge story set in semi-rural Virginia that follows a vagabond attempting to kill the person who killed his parents. its got great economy of dialog, kind of like Drive, where there are long stretches where characters either dont speak, or speak very briefly. When this film gets violent its pretty horrifying, the "action" is always very understated and sudden and usually quick that it just feels extremely real.
8/10. RIYL: Drive, Thief, The Chaser, Nightcrawler.
Up 4/5
Cute, charming, nonsensical. I'm glad I finally got around to watching it, but I feel like I had my expectations set far too high.
I wish I liked it more than I did.
US Marshals. 5/5. (it's on YouTube if you haven't seen it....)
Tommy Lee Jones is a bad ass and so is Wesley Snipes. So many great lines and moments from the movie that there are almost too many to list. "Get yourself a Glock! Lose that nickel plated sissy pistol" Great twists too. Much better than The Fugitive.
The Guest. Pretty fucking incredible. Saw the description on Netflix and got it confused with another movie so I decided I wasn't going to watch it. Someone else recommended it to me as being incredible so I said, eh, I'm bored, let's give it a shot.
....
Oh, and the ending is great.
It was kinda funny to me that it has the exact same ending as My Bloody Valentine, though I have to admit I felt the whole climax was a bit underwhelming compared to how fucking amazing the build up is. Still a very strong movie, if not quite as strong as You're Next
Song of the Sea - 4/5 I think. It's really fucking good. It's a very Ghibli-ish animation from Ireland, with a lot of roots in Irish folklore. It's absolutely beautiful, and very powerful, and quite funny as well when it has a mind to. I was tearing up for a heck of a lot of it! I think it really nails some aspects of sibling relationships, and there's something about the way it presents the father character that is really evocative as well, and Brendan Gleeson voices him really well. The only negative thing I can really say about it is that sometimes the dialogue and voicework sometimes feels a bit prosaic compared to the really poetic animation, but only really at the beginning I think. Well worth your time!
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