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#1 Posted by SwaziSpring (46 posts) -

This really cute girl at my college and I have been sitting next to each other in class for the past month and a half or so. She always seems like a very nice, polite, and from what I could tell, fairly intellectual young woman; someone I'd be interested in. We've talked somewhat before in the past, but only about stuff relating to class. Today I worked up the nerve to try to seriously talk to her. We were both in the hallway and I told her that she always seems like a very polite person and that I think she's cute. To which she responded: "Sorry, I have a boyfriend, but I really appreciate the compliment. Don't be a stranger, see you around."

#2 Edited by MentalDisruption (1662 posts) -

Assuming she actually has a boyfriend, that is a pretty nice way to be let down. Might not feel great, but take it in stride. If you're really interested in her, keep in casual contact with her so you can try again if her situation changes anytime in the future. Otherwise, be happy she isn't a cruel person and move on.

#3 Posted by Tim_the_Corsair (3065 posts) -

Ummm better luck next time?

Sorry if I seem negative here, but I don't really get the purpose of this. You struck out through no fault of your own, she was reasonable about it, what's the issue?

#4 Posted by FluxWaveZ (19376 posts) -
#5 Posted by Kerned (1170 posts) -

That always sucks, but you can't win 'em all, right? Good on you for talking to her in the first place. I was never a "make the first move" kind of guy, I'm just super shy in that regard. Thankfully I'm married now, so asking girls out is totally frowned upon.

#6 Posted by SwaziSpring (46 posts) -

@MentalDisruption: Thanks, MentalDisruption, yeah I'm just going to move on. I see no reason we can't be friends, she didn't seem malicious when she turned me down at all.

#7 Posted by SwaziSpring (46 posts) -

@FluxWaveZ said:

But I'm not actually asking for girl advice?

#8 Edited by ArtisanBreads (3963 posts) -

Hey man you took a swing and missed. If she has a boyfriend or not honestly it's all good! Plenty of girls in college so don't get discouraged. She might have friends too. The friend zone sucks but college is the exception where it really doesn't because girls' friends will hook up with you.

All I can say is that once I got to the point where I didn't give a shit about it in college and ran with that attitude and just said whatever off the cuff I got the best results. Definitely do not be afraid. I was for a long time and got angry watching dudes with the worst game get girls and then at some point I said to myself "I can at least do as good as them, why not just try?" and it worked.

#9 Posted by DoctorWelch (2774 posts) -

Don't be sad at all. Seems like she probably would have said yes if she didn't have a boyfriend. That is, if she actually does have a boyfriend. Considering she said "don't be a stranger" and you didn't say she seemed taken aback or awkward about it I doubt she's lying about the boyfriend.

#10 Posted by FluxWaveZ (19376 posts) -

@SwaziSpring: I'm sure that hotline also offers sympathies and advice to get over rejections, as well.

#11 Posted by mlarrabee (3029 posts) -

If the "boyfriend" bit was a brush-off she wouldn't have added, "don't be a stranger, see you around."

It's very likely she has a boyfriend

#12 Posted by SwaziSpring (46 posts) -

@FluxWaveZ said:

@SwaziSpring: I'm sure that hotline also offers sympathies and advice to get over rejections, as well.

I see, I should probably call them then.

#13 Posted by tsiro (214 posts) -

@SwaziSpring: just be sure that you're not being friends for the wrong reasons. be friends if you want to be friends. if you're being friendly and nice and hanging around just because you still have romantic feelings, it's time to pack your bags and move away.

#14 Posted by ArtisanBreads (3963 posts) -

@tsiro said:

@SwaziSpring: just be sure that you're not being friends for the wrong reasons. be friends if you want to be friends. if you're being friendly and nice and hanging around just because you still have romantic feelings, it's time to pack your bags and move away.

I agree with this in theory but as I said in college it's a bit different because girls have large friend groups usually and that's a great way to meet other girls.

#15 Posted by SwaziSpring (46 posts) -

@tsiro said:

@SwaziSpring: just be sure that you're not being friends for the wrong reasons. be friends if you want to be friends. if you're being friendly and nice and hanging around just because you still have romantic feelings, it's time to pack your bags and move away.

I know, I've gone down that path before and will not make the same mistake again. Thanks though, tsiro.

#16 Posted by Landon (4164 posts) -

Should have touched her shoulder.

#17 Posted by Godlyawesomeguy (6401 posts) -

Bummer, but ultimately common situation that will happen more often than not. Go after some other girls and try to gain her as a loose friend in case her situation changes at any point in the future.

#18 Posted by mrfluke (5314 posts) -

@Godlyawesomeguy said:

Bummer, but ultimately common situation that will happen more often than not. Go after some other girls and try to gain her as a loose friend in case her situation changes at any point in the future.

@MentalDisruption said:

Assuming she actually has a boyfriend, that is a pretty nice way to be let down. Might not feel great, but take it in stride. If you're really interested in her, keep in casual contact with her so you can try again if her situation changes anytime in the future. Otherwise, be happy she isn't a cruel person and move on.

these

#19 Posted by impartialgecko (1699 posts) -

@FluxWaveZ said:

It's not a proper personal blog post without this.

#20 Posted by Labman (288 posts) -

Damn, that sucks bro! I've been there/still am there (to a certain extent). Just remember that this chick is just a person like any other Tom, Dick, or Harriet that you may meet. Please, please, please, don't put this chick on a pedestal and put up with her shit just because she has lady parts that you like. As corny as it sounds, you are awesome too, and you shouldn't have to put up with anything from her that you wouldn't put up with from your buddies.

#21 Posted by iam3green (14390 posts) -

@Landon said:

Should have touched her shoulder.

aww i was going to say something a long the lines of that.

yes, getting rejected ditched is horrible feeling. i'm talking to a girl and she said she wanted to hang out with me. i never heard from her. it's been a few days since i've talked to her. i'm getting missed signals from her.

#22 Posted by AgnosticJesus (545 posts) -

Dude, you think you got it bad. My wife rejected me tonight and wouldn't have sex. She said I had to wait till tomorrow night because she's too tired.

#23 Posted by Giantstalker (1710 posts) -

Should have shouldered her touch.

#24 Posted by BestUsernameEver (4825 posts) -

@SwaziSpring said:

@FluxWaveZ said:

But I'm not actually asking for girl advice?

Then why does the thread exist? Just to tell us you got rejected?

#25 Posted by SexyToad (2759 posts) -

Well stay strong! Since she added the "don't be a stranger" it's likely that she does have a boyfriend. So continue what you're doing and once she's single it's your time to shine!

#26 Posted by PSNgamesun (412 posts) -

Ouch, still talk with her she might be a good friend; and that happens to the best of us. Just keep at it with other women and you will find someone for sure.

#27 Posted by Vinny_Says (5721 posts) -

kill the boyfriend...duh!

Either in secret and be there to console her or right in front of her eyes to show her who the alpha male is. Your choice.

#28 Posted by Skyrider (373 posts) -

At least you made a move. It might feel shitty right now, but much less shitty than if you never gave it a go at all.

#29 Posted by TruthTellah (9396 posts) -

@SwaziSpring: That was a pretty darn nice rejection if she does indeed have a boyfriend. I mean, at least she didn't just say she thinks of you as a pal. I suppose there's a chance you might still grab her attention if she ever leaves the dirtbag/cool guy she's dating now.

Online
#30 Posted by Demoskinos (15097 posts) -

@SwaziSpring: Well look, at least you had the balls to do it which is more than some guys can say AND she knows you dig her. If she ever loses the boyfriend she might give you a ring. Keep in contact with her but don't get put in the friend zone.

#31 Posted by byterunner (314 posts) -

@FluxWaveZ said:

I never understood where this picture came from. When I started coming to this site regularly, I never noticed these kinds of advice threads. Only the occasional one every other month maybe. Was there a lot more of those kinds of threads when the site first started, or was it something that was said in a video/podcast about these kinds of things. Or was there one very infamous thread on this kind of thing before. Because there doesn't seem like a need for the picture.

#32 Posted by BraveToaster (12588 posts) -

Oh well, on to the next one.

#33 Posted by JJWeatherman (14562 posts) -
@Vinny_Says

kill the boyfriend...duh!

Either in secret and be there to console her or right in front of her eyes to show her who the alpha male is. Your choice.

I like your advice. But I think more than that, I like imagining that Vinny is saying it.

Anyway, this is a weird thread. But bravo to the OP for giving it a go.
#34 Posted by Omega (835 posts) -
#35 Posted by Daryl (1781 posts) -

Thanks for the laugh at your expense

#36 Posted by Daiphyer (1349 posts) -

What were you thinking? Cute, polite girl is single? Really?

#37 Posted by Imsorrymsjackson (855 posts) -

@FluxWaveZ said:

#38 Posted by Funkydupe (3321 posts) -

If she has a boyfriend I wouldn't call that "getting rejected". She has a valid excuse not to consider you.

#39 Posted by Ocean_H (290 posts) -

@Funkydupe said:

If she has a boyfriend I wouldn't call that "getting rejected". She has a valid excuse not to consider you.

^This. Assuming she has a boyfriend, "rejected" is the wrong word from this "aftermath" as if you're expecting her to break up with her boyfriend to go with you. So you want to break up people's relationship?

#40 Posted by Kaineda77 (133 posts) -

Did you walk on the outside of her?

#41 Posted by Jared (561 posts) -

It sucks it didn't work out but don't let it bother you one bit. You took initiative and talked to her. Take what you did with her and start talking to more girls. Women want a man who is going to take initiative and talk to them first, its just flat out attractive to them. Keep it up! Good luck!

#42 Posted by Phatmac (5726 posts) -
@FluxWaveZ
#43 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

@FluxWaveZ said:

This picture is outdated. Get on the line!

#44 Posted by Sploder (917 posts) -

Ah that's a shame, but she did let you down pretty gently so it could have been worse. Takes courage to ask someone out, props dude and keep tryin'

#45 Posted by Ravenlight (8040 posts) -

Follow her home to make sure she actually has a boyfriend.

#46 Posted by supamon (1334 posts) -

Good on you having the balls to take action. Doesn't sound like you're sad about it? Either way she let you down easy so just keep trucking and if her situation changes you pounce on her the chance.

#47 Posted by Aas (604 posts) -

You weren't rejected, she's just in a relationship.

#48 Posted by BonOrbitz (2243 posts) -
#49 Posted by TheSouthernDandy (3908 posts) -

If you wanna win her over beat up her boyfriend. Girls LOVE that.

#50 Posted by Village_Guy (2657 posts) -

Fake your own death.

It is the only way, actually, maybe fake HER death, that'll really shut her up!