So I went to a strip club for the first time in Las Vegas.

(This blog will be long)

I just got home after spending two days in Las Vegas and I'm glad to be back. I was there with my brother and parents. We stayed at this hotel called ''The D''. It had its own casino, restaurants, stores, and outside of ''The D'' there were a shit ton of other places to visit. Now me personally I don't really care for gambling. I'd played afew slot machines and kept losing.

I got annoyed and walked outside of The D to checkout other places. I kept walking around until I noticed a strip club called '' The Glitter Gluch''. Since I've never been to a strip club I said fuck it and walked in. I went in and there wasn't too many girls around. It was during the day so I wasn't surprised.

Here's a quick vid of the outside.

There were a group of guys and couples in the club aswell. I was there sitting in close by the strip poles. I had to buy a beer since I was watching. For 15 dollars I bought two Heineken Beers and watched the strippers dance. One lady on the pole asked me where I was from, and I ended up mumbling and saying shit that wasn't making any sense. She had a confused look on her face and walked away.

Another stripper that was sitting at the bar behind asked me. If I wanted to have some fun with her in the backroom. She was talking all dirty to get to go in that backroom. I knew she wanted me to pay for a lapdance, and I knew it was going to be expensive and I said nah I'm cool.

Not too long after an older stripper grabs me by my hand, and brings me to the backroom. She told me to sit down, spread my legs apart and have my hands planted on the seat. She sat on me started grinding,rubbing my shoulders, and of course dirty talk. I straight up asked her how much this was going to be. She said for an hour 600 dollars. I told her I ain't got nowhere near that kind of money on me right now, so then she brought the price down to 150 for 15 mins.

I knew I was being ripped-off, but at that point I didn't care so I went for it. She also warned me if I touch her I'll get thrown out the club. Anyway, she gave me a lapdace I enjoyed it for most part and walked away. When I left the room the girl who offered me a lapdance earlier. Asked if I wanted to go for another round and I said no. Now I was going to stay and watch the girls strip some more, but my mom called and was all worried about where I went too. Even though I wasn't ready I left and ended up drinking beers with my dad.

I got drunk (First time for me aswell) and told him what happen. He basically said I got ripped-off, and I told him I knew, but I didn't care. Overall the strip club it was alright. There was times I was into it, but at the sametime there was times I wasn't into it.

Those strippers know how to hustle. Figures, since it's Vegas and all.

I think it's real funny that one of them basically forced you into a lapdance.

Yeah, and its very expensive and I never want to go back. It was fucking crazy in Vegas. Its not like how they display it on T'V. Its filled with alot of assholes, homeless people, whores, hustlers, and beggers, I was ready to leave on the first day.

I've been to strip clubs 3 times. Conclusion: I've never been in a more homo-erotic situation than being in a dark room full of sexually frustrated partially drunk men who all have hidden erections.

Strip Clubs have always seemed like an utter waste of time to me.

Don't worry about it too much. A guy I work with admitted he was played by a stripper. He fell in love with her and she kept him coming back night after night spending all his money on her by saying she really liked him and thought he was fun and that they should hook up. They never did, he realized when he came home after the holiday that he had been played.

It was.

Its not really a place I want to go back too. I felt out place talking dirty right back to the stripper. The other dudes had no problem expressing themselves. The only thing I really enjoyed in Vegas was going to the Micheal Jackson One concert. Words can't describe how fucking epic it was, it made the trip worth it.

Prohibition really fucks with pricing. You should really get on that. If I spent 600 bucks for an hour with a girl, the action would be a lot more palpable than a lap dance. That's the going rate for supermodel-type girls anyways. That kind of cash would pay for a menage-à-trois easy, at less exclusive establishments. Hell - there's *all-you-can-f...* places where that'd be enough greenbacks to board the bonetrain at 8-o-clock in the morning and not quit riding it until 2 AM the next day.

Switzerland is way more expensive than most places too. Just sayin'. Fuck Vegas. Or rather, don't fuck in Vegas?

Also, flying on the plane for the very first time in my life was unsettling. When that plane went up it felt like going on a rollorcoster, but worse. My ears kept popping in and out, I felt floaty as hell, it was uncomfortable. The second time wasn't bad at all since I kinda knew what to expect, but when I was on that plane I kept thinking about those people in 9 11. Holy shit, thinking about flying into a building scared the hell out of me.

P.S.

I once got hustled in Paris as a wee-little-boy. Well - it was more of a shake-down really. Definitely criminal behavior. Was there for a couple of months to learn the language, and thought it was a good idea to go to a strip club. It was on the same road as the famous Moulin Rouge too. Thought it would be legit. I was wrong.

Tried to extort me for all I was worth. Fuckers threatened me with violence and even rape, if I wouldn't pay up. Had goons escort me to the nearest ATM. I punched in the wrong code until the automaton ate my card. They still got like two hundos out of me - for a beer and like a one minute dance. Not even a lap dance. Good thing they didn't know I had like a thousand bucks in traveller's cheques on my person... in a hidden money belt. I guess life lessons don't come cheap.

Yeah - fuck the French! Strippers too.

@falserelic: Don't worry, hitting the ground is much more likely and can kill you just as good. You're still most likely to be fine, statistically speaking. As gambles go, flying will treat you a lot better than Vegas. The bathrooms aren't nearly as nice, though.

In my experience, the secret to enjoying a strip club is to be drunk before I get there. Once you're there, the drinks cost too much and dealing with a stripper sober is really uncomfortable. At least it is for me. It's basically paying to be lied to, both your body and your ears. The fact I know it's a lie makes it really difficult to play along.

Same here.

Yep, sounds like an amateurs first visit to a Vegas strip club to me.

Next time, go with some veterans, establish your budget and objectives early on, and stick to your guns. These girls hustle for money, and they make nothing by leaving you alone.

Or, you know, don't go to strip clubs.

Up to you.

When I walked down Las Vegas blvd. It felt like I was in a worse version of Detroit. Homeless people everywhere, a drug dealer rips the clothes off of a women. A lady almost ran me over with her car and called me a nigger. I've seen some of the weirdest people in my life in Vegas. I've also walked in ''Pawn Stars'' place. That popular T'V show on the history channel. The outside looked like shit, it doesn't look like it does on T'V.

At least you're gettin all the life lessons at once. ;)

A series of events have led me to have a hotel booked for two full weeks in Vegas. Since the hotels are so cheap I think we'll be using it as more of a base of operations and travelling the coast a bit. This thread is not giving me hope.

I've also learned that on the next vacation. I should always save afew thousands up in my bank account. The whole trip was a learning experience, and seeing how fucking evil people can be blew my mind.

Its hot as hell, when its night time the party starts, you'll see your share of weirdos, expect to have someone beg you for something. One guy walks up to me when I was standing on the scale at the heart attack grill. He ask ''is that a scale?'' I said yeah, and then he said'' oh cool, hey can you spare 50 cents I'm trying to catch the bus''. Hell I saw a pregnant homeless lady asking for money. Your going to see the good. ugly, and sad sides of Vegas.

$150 for a lap dance? Ouch man. Also, 15 minutes is a really long dance. You could find a hooker for that price.

First, strip clubs are gross. I'm pretty sure that's a universal thing. Second the hotel you were staying in was in downtown Vegas, not the newer part of the strip. Once you get off Fremont street it gets a bit shady. And the area between Fremont and the new stuff is a wasteland, at least the last time I went.

The places I've stayed were quite nice and touristy. I guess you could say you had a more interesting experience.

And really losing 150 bucks to a stripper is hopefully a lesson learned and a good blog post. You could have dropped 150 bucks at the roulette table in 15 minutes easy.

Samething my dad told me. Hell, he said for 20 or 40 I could have gotten pussy in Detroit. Though I'll never stoop to that level...aleast I don't think so.

Aw come on, she's just trying to get through school....20 bucks at a time. Help her out.

Its exactly like a wasteland, and hearing stories about the Grand Canyon was insane. My dad went to the Grand Canyon last year in Vegas. He said there's no rail and if your not careful you'll fall, and he told me the next day somebody fell. Apparently, people fall to their deaths alot at the Canyon, but alot of people don't talk about it.

I guess nobody else watched the video, because nobody has mentioned the person in the incredibly sad, deflated-looking Sonic The Hedgehog costume. I laughed pretty hard at that.

Let me show you the guy wearing the bumblebee outfit.

He seen I had the camera on him and he gave me a thumbs up, and I gave him one back with a smile.

@falserelic: It just if your spending tons of money in women in Vegas you might as well just go to the bunny ranch and actually get you some.

Whoa dude, seriously? $150 for basically 4 dances? In Dallas it's $20 a dance unless inflation has impacted the lap dance market.

I was watching more women in Vegas then gambling. At night they got women dancing on tables. Half naked, short outfits, I was left feeling horny as hell. Only the sickest of men would have been thinking about sex...and I was one of them. I was disappointed in myself, and it made my desire to loss even more weight grow even more.

Especially after the stripper who gave me a lap dance said I need more muscle. Since my leg went down when she was grinding on my leg too hard. Honestly, I'm glad she got the fuck off of me afterwhile. Having that fucking security guard staring at me, lookin like he was ready to beat my ass if I touched her annoyed me.

It was stupid as hell, but I was bored of gambling. I was already losing money, and since I was in Vegas I said might as well do something that I can remeber.

They have these places in London as well. Strictly for the tourists. There are loads of little holes in Soho (way less than their used to be tho) where you go in and they charge you £500 for an orange juice and then threaten to rip your head off if you don't pay. Bad news.

The only time I have ever been to a strip club was when I was in Thailand. Me my friends went to this place in Patpong where the girls do all the tricks and it was really, really depressing. These tired (I mean that literally) looking girls get up on the stage and go through this repertoire of pussy tricks. One was doing the one where she had to drop golf balls out of her pussy into a Champagne glass and she kept missing, the ball would roll off the edge of the stage, her pimp, or the owner or whatever would hand it back to her, she would stuff it back up and have another go. She had bruises all up her legs - it was really depressing. The only interesting bit was when one of them was firing bananas out of her vag into the audience - it landed on my shoulder! I was quite pissed so I took a bite, lucky i'm still alive I guess. They all looked so miserable as well, I don't know what we were expecting really but we all came out just feeling dirty and a bit down.

The whole area was so seedy, I mean we knew it would be, but then you get there and there are just loads of fat old Germans walking around holding the hands of these tiny petite girls who look about 12. I really wanted to stab some fuckers after getting out of there.

After reading that you took a bite out of a banana that came from a stripper's vagina. Made whatever remorse I had went away, thank you.

I was not very sober at the time...I guess all the alcohol killed whatever was lurking in the fruit..

Hey.... I've been to Glitter Gultch.. yup it's TERRIBLE. I've found, in general, any place that allows you to get in for completely free, is going to be terrible. Never go into the back room. If you just wanted a cheap dance you could have done it in the main area. But GG is right on fremont street so it's gonna get a lot of business from travelers. Parroting others here, the only worse place I've been to is a strip club in Thailand.

This part reeeaeally skeeved me out. I'm happy you're not dead, I guess?

I got no right to judge, hell after those two beers I had at the club. I had these...

I had a bunch of drinks, but I only took pics of these. With the Exception of the margarita all the drinks taste like shit, but for some reason I couldn't stop drinking. Next thing I know my dad stopped looked at me, and said I didn't need no more to drink. For some reason I started to laugh I got up and felt woozy as hell. I went to the bathroom looked at myself, and I looked sick. My mom and bro said I looked drunk, and I kept laughing.

Yeah the things you do when you are young and drunk eh?

In reality you are never going to get a serious disease from something like this, it just doesn't sound all that appealing.

@falserelic said:

@leebmx said:

@falserelic said:

@leebmx said:

The only time I have ever been to a strip club was when I was in Thailand. Me my friends went to this place in Patpong where the girls do all the tricks and it was really, really depressing. These tired (I mean that literally) looking girls get up on the stage and go through this repertoire of pussy tricks. One was doing the one where she had to drop golf balls out of her pussy into a Champagne glass and she kept missing, the ball would roll off the edge of the stage, her pimp, or the owner or whatever would hand it back to her, she would stuff it back up and have another go. She had bruises all up her legs - it was really depressing. The only interesting bit was when one of them was firing bananas out of her vag into the audience - it landed on my shoulder! I was quite pissed so I took a bite, lucky i'm still alive I guess. They all looked so miserable as well, I don't know what we were expecting really but we all came out just feeling dirty and a bit down.

The whole area was so seedy, I mean we knew it would be, but then you get there and there are just loads of fat old Germans walking around holding the hands of these tiny petite girls who look about 12. I really wanted to stab some fuckers after getting out of there.

After reading that you took a bite out of a banana that came from a stripper's vagina. Made whatever remorse I had went away, thank you.

I was not very sober at the time...I guess all the alcohol killed whatever was lurking in the fruit..

I got no right to judge, hell after those two beers I had at the club. I had these...

I had a bunch of drinks, but I only took pics of these. With the Exception of the margarita all the drinks taste like shit, but for some reason I couldn't stop drinking. Next thing I know my dad stopped looked at me, and said I didn't need no more to drink. For some reason I started to laugh I got up and felt woozy as hell. I went to the bathroom looked at myself, and I looked sick. My mom and bro said I looked drunk, and I kept laughing.

Not sure what the problem is...they look like totally reputable if slightly boring beers..did you just have too many or was there something suspicious about them....?

I had liquor,whiskey,strawberry decker...more beers and yeah I had way too many. I'm not used to drinking at all. Hell, I don't even know the names to alot of different drinks, but I just felt like hitting it up since I was in Vegas. I was hoping to get some suga wall action too, but not much I can do since I was with the family...not much I could have done at all.

Been years and years since I went. A place had no cover with free beer and pizza. $15 dances.

Hearing $600 is hilarious.

How old are you? It all reads like a 12 year old sneaking away from his parents, but that doesn't make much sense.

Come to Canada! We have gambling and strippers, your money goes further, the drinking age is lower, and (practically) no random racial slurs from passing motorists! Montreal >>> Vegas :D

I like the ladies and their jiggly parts and all that, but I just wouldn't be able to help feeling like I need to constantly take a shower in bleach and get tested for hepatitis as soon as I walked through the door of one of those places.

Strip clubs are really weird. Been to one once, couldn't stop laughing. My friend, for her 21st birthday, decided it would be a good idea to go to a strip club the weekend of Halloween. So me dressed as Quailman, and another friend dressed as a banana, and about 6 other people, three guys and three girls, all went to the strip club. The people there were a little creepy, with 30 to 40 somethings hitting on my female friends, and whenever I tried to sit out in the dance area, I couldn't help but giggle, by the way I was 22 at the time. The bar was in a completely different building than the dancing so, I spent most of my time there drinking Yuengling, since the $20 cover, covered all drinks. It was one of the most weird experiences of my life.

Yeah. Lap dances are expensive. Especially at Glitter Gulch. Next time hit up one of the strip clubs on Industrial. Much more reasonable price, and generally more attractive girls. It's hard to say that without sounding like a perv, but I hung out at strip clubs a lot a few years ago. One of my friends was a stripper at Treasures, so I met a lot of cool girls and spent a lot of time in Sapphire, Little Darlings, and Cheetah's. All of them are better than Glitter Gulch, imo. I guess for the convenience of having to only walk down a block from The D (formally Fitzgeralds), it's alright.

But yeah. Lap dances are whack. You can meet a random stranger on the strip, buy a few drinks, and have a good time for cheaper than a few lap dances if that's what you're into. I worked downtown for years, trust me. You could hook up multiple times a day if you wanted to (legally) with very little effort. I grew out of that phase in my early 20's (now 28). Strip clubs can be fun if it's a classy place and you're hanging out with friends. Glitter Gulch is the antithesis of classy, imo. Your losses are much less than the average 2-day visitor. You did well. At least you can say you got a lap dance in Vegas now, I guess.

Man, that sounds like a terrible experience all around. I've never actually been to a strip club but I can't say I really get them. It's one of those things like, when I'm hungry, I'm not going to pay money to look at food.

21.

We went to Vegas to celebrate my mom's 50th birthday. Even though my dad can't stand my mom. He went along because he wanted to go to Vegas again, but hell I'm just glad to be back home. I'm glad I'm back on my computer, I miss my job, miss walking to work, I miss dealing with annoying fucking costumers, I miss everything even the small things. I honestly can see why people can end up dead in Vegas.

I don't know this reads like something I wouldn't want to remember let alone tell other people about :-p .

I live in Portland. a place with literally ALL OF THE STRIP CLUBS and I have never been to one.

This whole thread is making me proud of that decision...

dude I think you'be been having a fever dream all this time. What sort of gangster mafia horror land did you go to that offered free beer?

not anymore, these united states dollars are worth less then butt papers now!