So I've always wanted to create a girl advice thread in off topic but I've never really had anything to get advice on. But I'm bored today so I thought I would ask you guys your opinion on my relationship with a girl. Now I've seen enough of these threads to know that it is really annoying when someone gives no context to these things so I'll give a brief history of our relationship.
So when I was in high school I met this girl. We'll call her J. J and I were both socially incompetent, deeply disturbed and entirely unable to form healthy relationships of any sort. So of course we bonded immediately. We became good friends over the course of the next year. Then we got into a huge fight. It was one of those pointless high school fights that in hindsight was just a stupid thing to fight over. Long story short she started spreading terrible rumors about me which almost got me expelled and arrested and turned virtually every friend I had against me. She eventually agreed to stop spreading rumors if I promised to never speak to her again.
Fast forward three years. I'm in college and she's living with an alcoholic rocker and a heroine addict in the bad section of town. One day, completely out of the blue she contacts me and begs for forgiveness. She doesn't remember the event described above, but she knew she was a bitch to me in high school and wanted to say how sorry she was and wondered if I would give her a second chance. Now I always believe in giving second chances, so I agreed. We again became good friends and I helped her get through that really rough period in her life. She truly had changed. She was still very disturbed and depressed, but she had matured greatly and so had I. Eventually she met a guy who we will call T. She and T hit it off and started dating. I was happy for her. Over the next several years, T helped her pull her life together. She worked through her issues and became a happy and healthy person. Last summer I graduated from college and returned home. I spent a lot of time with J and she revealed to me she wanted to break up with T. I told her to do what made her happy. She eventually broke up with him, but just around that time my parents and I moved away.
Over the next several months J and I talked almost every day over the phone or online. I soon realized I had fallen madly in love with her. I didn't know if she felt the same and in any case didn't really want to start a long distance relationship unless she really was going to go in full swing with me. Recently we had a couple conversations and it is these conversations I want you to help me with. Now before you say it, I know I could always just ask her how she feels but I don't like going into something like this without a plan of attack so to speak.
So two weeks ago she crashed her car and it was totaled. First thing to note is as far as I know I was the first person she told and she didn't tell at least one really close friend until several days after. So after she told me I asked her if there was anything I could do to help.
J said, "Not unless you have four thousand lying around."
I said, "You know if I did it would be yours."
J said, "I was just joking."
I said, "I wasn't. I wish I could offer you more than kind words."
J said, "And I want to give you a huge hug. You are the sweetest."
So normally when a girl says you are nice that is a surefire sign that you have been friend zoned but in this situation I was being really sweet and she knew I meant it and I really wanted to help.
Second case. A week later I found a Doctor Who mug on Amazon. Now J loves Doctor Who and she collects mugs. So I offered to buy it for her for Christmas. She told me she loved it but she couldn't afford to get anyone anything for Christmas and I was already getting her something else. Then she mentioned that she didn't know if I knew she collected mugs. Then the following exchange occurred:
I said, "I know you collect mugs. You mentioned it offhand one."
J said, "You are AMAZING [her emphasis] for remembering that."
I said, and this is the abridged version, "I only talk to people when I really care what they have to say. So unlike most people I remember what people tell me."
J said, "You are a better person than I."
I said, "And because you are pretty close to my favorite person I remember most everything you say."
J said, "You are the best. You say the nicest things without even trying."
I said, "I mean all of them."
J said, "You're making me blush."
Then she said she was going to go take a nap and the conversation ended.
So based on those two exchanges would you say I'm completely friend zoned because of her talking about how nice I was, or do you think she was just really flattered? Mind you this is a good example of how our average conversations go. Are these friend zone conversations or do you think she might like me as much as I like her?