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#1 Posted by cbarnes86 (557 posts) -

Well, the past two months have been pretty rough (for many reasons) but I'm writing this to highlight one that came to a close today... Me and my wife have been married for 5 years. We have been together for 7 (since my Freshman year in college). I've never been this happy to have someone in my life that shares most of the same hobbies and passions as my wife. All of that changed today...

I got the call about 5 minutes ago and I kind of feel like if I ignore it, it will go away but I know that isn't true. We have been separated for about 2 months now and I've been hopeful every single day that she would one day call me to tell me to come home. Today, I got a call from her, but it wasn't the call I wanted to hear. She told me she filed for divorce and that I would receive the paperwork Friday.

I've kinda been preparing for this for the past two months just in case this happened, but I never knew it would or not. I feel something I've NEVER felt before, but I'm not sure what it is. It is like a weight on your shoulders except it is in my stomach. I've never felt this sick before in my life. I thought I had it all (other than a good job) and was happy with the way things were going. I have no idea where to progress from here. I'm the kind of person that needs that emotional bond to someone else to help me get through this down time in my life of not having a job in my degree field and just squeaking by on paying my bills. This has devastated me in a way that I never knew anything could.

I'm basically writing this to thank Giant Bomb and its staff at giving me entertainment and humor in these last two months. The content on this site has really helped me through these dark times in my life and I'm hoping (with all that has happened since Ryan passed) the site is on its way back to publishing more content. I have a great family that I know will be there for me and I have some pretty good friends that I know will be there for me as well. That is all I had to say. I know my wife doesn't come to this site but I want to let her know (I guess in spirit?) that I have loved her with all of my heart for the past seven years of my life and will always love her. She was my first true love and I can never get rid of the great times we had. Godspeed to you in all you do and I pray that someday we may cross paths again...

#2 Posted by RVonE (4638 posts) -

@cbarnes86: Oof... that's rough. I don't have any words of wisdom for you but just keep hanging on, man!

#3 Posted by ThePhantomnaut (6197 posts) -

Damn... :(

#5 Posted by Rorie (2912 posts) -

@cbarnes86: That's a stinky situation. Let me know if I can do anything to help. Never been through one of the d-words before, though.

Staff
#6 Posted by TechHits (1378 posts) -

I don't know what to say, but keep on keepin on.

#7 Posted by JoeBigfoot (107 posts) -

Geez, @cbarnes86 you have my sympathies, sadly the only thing I can offer is a truly extensive knowledge of emo tunes to help...

Seriously though, good luck man.

#8 Posted by Chop (1997 posts) -

We're here for you, bruh <3

#9 Edited by StrainedEyes (1324 posts) -

My wife left me rather abruptly last March. We had been together for 7 years, married for two. I was in a horrible place for the next half a year or so, horrible, but it does eventually get better. It's cliche but it's true. Your entire life and future just feels ripped away from you and it's hard to think how you can recover. It's been just about a year and a half since it happened and I still have moments where I miss her deeply and feel all those emotions again, but they are becoming further and further. I still love her. She left me and I didn't have the chance to try and reconcile things, but that doesn't change how I ever felt. It sucks when everything is out of your control.

I did start dating again around 6 months later, mostly out of loneliness, and suprisingly found someone that I instantly clicked with and have been with for almost a year now.

What happened sucks, and there is nothing but time that will make things better, but things will get better.

#10 Posted by pyromagnestir (4324 posts) -

Sorry to hear that duder. Cherish the good times of the past, and surely there'll be more good times to come in your future as well, even if they're not quite going to be what you were expecting or hoping.

But cross paths again? Where ya going? I don't think we're going nowheres...

#11 Posted by Demoskinos (14835 posts) -

Well, can't say I have any sort of life experience that would lead to any useful advice but hang in there Giantbomb has your back!

#12 Posted by Narx (173 posts) -

Man-hug duder. I'm going through some dark times myself and we find the smiles where we can.

#13 Posted by cbarnes86 (557 posts) -

@rorie: Thanks man, it is stuff like this that makes me glad to be a duder. It means a lot that you took the time out of your day to read this thread and reply. Really.

#14 Posted by Slag (4388 posts) -

good luck man.

#15 Posted by FesteringNeon (2164 posts) -

I somewhat know how you're feeling, I had a falling out with an ex I still think about once in awhile. I knew it was over when we broke it off, but a little part of me figured it was something we'd just eventually get past and be together.. Once it was apparent that it was final (which took a long time to come to grips with) I felt like my stomach had a permanent knot, and ended up pretty depressed.

While it's gotten easier, it's still tough. Just remember to not bottle it up, and force yourself to do something new once in awhile, and keep your friends close by.

Stick around though, GB is a great place for a laugh.

#16 Edited by RobotHamster (4171 posts) -

Really sorry to hear that man, going through some low times in my life now as well and Giantbomb has helped a ton. We'll get through this all together as duder brothers one day, it may take some time but things will get better.

#17 Posted by hawkinson76 (370 posts) -

Resentment is a terrible thing, its sounds like you are on a good path.

#18 Edited by BestUsernameEver (4825 posts) -

That's pretty sneaky.

#19 Posted by Kinapuff (244 posts) -

Man, I'm sorry to hear that. Best of luck to you - ye'll pull through.

#20 Posted by Tireyo (6413 posts) -

Something is lacking in your relationship, and I'm not exactly sure why or what caused your split up. Regardless, sorry that you have to go through a divorce, but maybe you'll find someone else or work something out with her. Keep your chin up and do what you have to. Take this advice from a user that's been through hell and back. =-)

#21 Edited by zombie_bigdaddy (131 posts) -

@cbarnes86: I kind of know how you feel. Just last year the girl that i had been dating for five and a half years broke up with me completely out of nowhere. I felt horrible since i had envisioned a future with her. Only thing i can tell you is that it does get easier with time and remember to not let it drag you down .

#22 Posted by DriveupLife (915 posts) -

What a cunt.

#23 Edited by MethodMan008 (810 posts) -
#24 Posted by Quarters (1704 posts) -

It's nowhere near even in the ballpark of what you're dealing with, but I've had some serious love issues(unrequited) the last couple of weeks as well. Yeah, it sucks. However, I'm kind of like you, despite the bad, I can't forget the good. Just try to use the situation as a way to build your own character, to grow as a person. It's hard to think of, but it's the only way out of it that can help. You just have to brave the worst, and figure out healthy ways to get through.

#25 Posted by Flacracker (1675 posts) -

Be ready to get your checkbook out. I'm sure she wont pass up the opportunity to get free money.

#26 Edited by TheManWithNoPlan (5513 posts) -

That's really tough duder. It's not much, but we're here for you. Just remember, things will get better with time.

#27 Edited by Residentrevil2 (444 posts) -

Ouch...

#28 Posted by BombcastGoldthwait (250 posts) -
#29 Posted by BombcastGoldthwait (250 posts) -

@cbarnes86: I feel for you, and wish you the best. I hope that as you move forward, you find something better.

#30 Posted by McGhee (6094 posts) -

I just had a woman leave her husband (but they're still married) and then within the week start chasing after me. I just wanted to look at her and be like, "Bitch, how stupid do you think I am?" But I've been polite (so far) in turning down her advances. Jesus Christ.

#31 Posted by Intro (1207 posts) -

So sorry to hear that man and I wish you the best of luck. My ex and I recently broke up of a year and it was my first relationship. I moved on and I'm completely over it now, thankfully. I couldn't imagine losing someone I've stood by with for 7 years.

#32 Posted by Lydian_Sel (2486 posts) -

My heart goes out to you, that's a really rough thing to deal with.

Best of luck and take care of yourself!

#33 Edited by FearMyFlop (101 posts) -

@cbarnes86: Hey bud, chin up! I was in your shoes a few years back. I got married when I was 20 and had a son with my now ex-wife. It stung especially hard when she turns out had left me for a mutual friend of ours. It got pretty dark and it was a really shitty time in my life. Just look at it this way: As soon as you think it can't get any worse, it can and will only get better. If it means anything you do have this amazing community and this rad site to help take your mind off the pain. Alternatively do what I did and just start running and exercising a bit, it was a real confidence boost when I literally lost it all faith in myself as a human male.

#34 Posted by Xymox (2088 posts) -

I feel ya, man... I recently heard my ex married someone else.
While I can take solace in, appreciate, and be humbled by the times me and her spent together, and hope for only the best for her, I've also come to realize that the age of social media is the absolute worst if you still have mutual friends.

#35 Posted by SomeDeliCook (2341 posts) -

Just be glad you don't have children together, that would make getting over it even harder. But you will, it will just take time.

Plus man, maybe you'll meet a freaky chick in the future. Those are always fun for a bit.

#36 Posted by HurricaneIvan29 (582 posts) -

Confide in your friends. Find someone to talk to and let it out. Afterwards, use that companionship with your friends to build yourself back up. You'll get there. Friendships are the best medicine.

#37 Edited by Oscar__Explosion (2304 posts) -

Duder I'm sorry this is happening to you. I've been dealing with my own breakup issues (not as severe) for a while with a girl I was with for 3 years. All I can say is that it is true that time heals all wounds (I know that's super shitty advice but it actually ended up ok for me) and try to be around loved ones.

#38 Edited by FilipHolm (667 posts) -

That really sucks man..

#39 Edited by Unilad (561 posts) -

In the words of Dre in '92, "bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks"

In all seriousness man, this sucks and I'm really sorry to hear that. Keep you're head up though man. Hang out with friends, life will go on man even if it don't feel like that now.

Women always call men the badguys, in my personal experience and that of my friends, it's the women who destroy us through being horrible people.

#40 Posted by Village_Guy (2579 posts) -

Fake your own death.

On a more serious note though, that sucks duder. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but remember that shit happens and life goes on.

#41 Posted by fetchfox (1268 posts) -

That sucks mate, but things will get better. Keep your chin up and know that your just as much an unique individual on your own. And in time that will ring true.

#42 Posted by Lysergica33 (523 posts) -

@cbarnes86: That really sucks to hear man. Sending you well wishes and positive energy. :) Keep on keeping on duder, and try to stay busy and active... During the dark times it helps to constantly be on the move. :)

#43 Posted by Marcsman (3198 posts) -

I've been with the same woman for nearly 15 years now. Married 6. My advice to you, go find some hot little slut and get your revenge fuck on. ( if my wife leaves me I already have at least 2 revenge fucks picked out)

#44 Posted by Fattony12000 (7416 posts) -

I pray that someday we may cross paths again...

Wait, where are you going?

#45 Posted by cbarnes86 (557 posts) -

@fattony12000: Lol, that was to my (ex)wife if that didn't come across properly. Either way, Thank you for everyone who has posted here. Some words of wisdom, some dumb shit (which I expect and love), and a lot of laughs. Thank you all.

#46 Posted by JazGalaxy (1576 posts) -

Well, the past two months have been pretty rough (for many reasons) but I'm writing this to highlight one that came to a close today... Me and my wife have been married for 5 years. We have been together for 7 (since my Freshman year in college). I've never been this happy to have someone in my life that shares most of the same hobbies and passions as my wife. All of that changed today...

I got the call about 5 minutes ago and I kind of feel like if I ignore it, it will go away but I know that isn't true. We have been separated for about 2 months now and I've been hopeful every single day that she would one day call me to tell me to come home. Today, I got a call from her, but it wasn't the call I wanted to hear. She told me she filed for divorce and that I would receive the paperwork Friday.

I've kinda been preparing for this for the past two months just in case this happened, but I never knew it would or not. I feel something I've NEVER felt before, but I'm not sure what it is. It is like a weight on your shoulders except it is in my stomach. I've never felt this sick before in my life. I thought I had it all (other than a good job) and was happy with the way things were going. I have no idea where to progress from here. I'm the kind of person that needs that emotional bond to someone else to help me get through this down time in my life of not having a job in my degree field and just squeaking by on paying my bills. This has devastated me in a way that I never knew anything could.

I'm basically writing this to thank Giant Bomb and its staff at giving me entertainment and humor in these last two months. The content on this site has really helped me through these dark times in my life and I'm hoping (with all that has happened since Ryan passed) the site is on its way back to publishing more content. I have a great family that I know will be there for me and I have some pretty good friends that I know will be there for me as well. That is all I had to say. I know my wife doesn't come to this site but I want to let her know (I guess in spirit?) that I have loved her with all of my heart for the past seven years of my life and will always love her. She was my first true love and I can never get rid of the great times we had. Godspeed to you in all you do and I pray that someday we may cross paths again...

My heart hurts for you, brother. Seriously, if you need anything let me know.

It's weird. They talk about this "7 year itch" thing. Maybe it's a real phenomena.

#47 Posted by zedman (88 posts) -

Dudder that sucks, but you never know what's round the corner I seperated from my wife for 8 years was rough as fuck, then out of nowhere we got back together and had a kid so you never no what the next day will bring.

#48 Posted by Fattony12000 (7416 posts) -

@fattony12000: Lol, that was to my (ex)wife if that didn't come across properly. Either way, Thank you for everyone who has posted here. Some words of wisdom, some dumb shit (which I expect and love), and a lot of laughs. Thank you all.

Phew! We wouldn't want to lose a valued member of the duder community!

As expressed by many others here, that's a sad bad thing to have to go through; we all wish you the very best and that you get to feeling funky fresh as soon as you can.

#49 Posted by GnaTSoL (793 posts) -

you shouldn't have pissed her off.

#50 Edited by oldenglishC (957 posts) -

A much smarter man than me came up with the most useful post break-up schedule ever.

STEP 1: BREAK CONTACT - You don't have kids, that makes this one easy.

STEP 2: MOURN - Drink heavily, punch things, whatever. You get ONE MONTH.

STEP 3: REBUILD AND IMPROVE - Get in better shape, take a class to learn something new, look for more hobbies you enjoy, etc. This accomplishes a couple of things. It's introduces you to new groups of people and builds self confidence so you will feel better about yourself when interacting with said new people.

Millions and millions of ladies out there, friend. No use to sitting around all sad-assed, outside of that first month, just because you had to cross one off the list.