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#1 Posted by bio595 (307 posts) -

My uncle, who was an all around bad guy and someone I kinda hated has killed himself.
I am finding it difficult to care except in that I feel bad for the people that do care.
I don't want to be an asshole for seeming unphased or for seeming like I'm faking it. So which do I choose?

#2 Posted by Meowayne (6084 posts) -

Write about it on an internet message board.

#3 Edited by Willin (1283 posts) -

No point making a bad situation worse by saying 'That guy was an asshole'.  Keep it to yourself. 

#4 Posted by MordeaniisChaos (5730 posts) -

Be honest dude. If he has a bad guy, give your condolences to those that are mourning, and leave it at that. My father's an abusive prick, and when he dies, that's pretty much my plan, if he ever manages to convince anyone to give a shit when he does.

Best to be honest, but you can to it with respect for those who are more upset about his death.

#5 Posted by LordXavierBritish (6320 posts) -

Keep not caring.

#6 Posted by ImmortalSaiyan (4690 posts) -

I agree with the other posters. I don't know you or your uncle so if you dislike the guy, I'll assume it's justified. That is fine, you don't have to care just be sensitive to those that do.

#7 Posted by Landon (4154 posts) -

You don't have to like the dead, but you should have respect for those that might care. Keep that stuff to yourself.

#8 Posted by dekkadekkadekka (737 posts) -

Comfort those around you who are mourning him, no need to fake an emotion you're not feeling yourself.

#9 Posted by MrKlorox (11209 posts) -
@Meowayne said:
Write about it on an internet message board.
This. Man what the fuck.
#10 Posted by Animasta (14715 posts) -

I didn't feel anything when my grandfather died because we weren't close... I just comforted mom as best I could, which is all I could do; I couldn't really fake emotion for something that big.

#11 Posted by LaserLambert (168 posts) -

tough to say. Is there nothing you can respect about your uncle? maybe learn something about him, unless he is scum. but i dunno, mourning for suicide victims doesn't sit well with me, they committed the crime, they should do the time.(that's an oversimplification but I don't need to go into the subject)

Online
#12 Posted by bio595 (307 posts) -
@MrKlorox
@Meowayne said:
Write about it on an internet message board.
This. Man what the fuck.
Eh, I don't mind

Thanks guys. Feels really awkward, people are crying and I'm thinking about how inconvenient it is ( while consoling them of course)
#13 Posted by Berserk007 (209 posts) -

Just act like you are being stoic (strong, silent), people will read it as grieving.

#14 Posted by ShadowConqueror (3067 posts) -

Keep on giving zero fucks.

#15 Posted by JackSukeru (5922 posts) -

Be supportive of the people who did care, but try to keep your opinions out of it.

If someone really wants you at his funeral you should go. If someone wants you to say something at his funeral you should decline.

Don't do any of that passive agressive BS, but if someone really (and I mean really) pushes you for your opinion on the guy, if they don't already know, give it to them straight and put it bluntly enough so that they realize it's not something that should be dwelled on.

#16 Posted by eroticfishcake (7786 posts) -

Keep it to yourself and don't think you should feel bad about the death of anyone unless you genuinely do. That's what I do and people have a habit of dying around me.

#17 Posted by tunaburn (1891 posts) -

if you dont care you dont care. when my grandma died i was sad but everyone else was crying. i never cried at all. same for my grandpa actually except my dad didnt really cry there either.

#18 Posted by rentfn (1282 posts) -

Keep it to yourself or talk to friends about it. I was in the same situation a few years ago. I felt my uncle was my arch nemesis and I had to drive my mom down to see him and he ended up dying a little after we got there. I felt bad for my family that liked him but I didn't really feel bad at all myself. So just talk to people you can and rant about it on the internet. If you need a random person to rant to shoot me a message we can trade evil uncle of doom stories.

#19 Posted by Marz (5659 posts) -

don't care about it to yourself next time please.

#20 Posted by Little_Socrates (5684 posts) -

Comfort those who do care. They might even help you come to terms with your uncle in some ways. Plus, you need that Judgment Arcana social link to get way up so you can summon a Trumpeter and get Cool Breeze.

#21 Edited by Godlyawesomeguy (6399 posts) -

You should just express your condolences to those affected, remain uncaring, and if you must go to the funeral due to social obligation, then just get it over with and repeat the first step during said funeral. Finally, your final step is the easiest one: move on.

#22 Posted by Animasta (14715 posts) -

@Little_Socrates said:

Comfort those who do care. They might even help you come to terms with your uncle in some ways. Plus, you need that Judgment Arcana social link to get way up so you can summon a Trumpeter and get Cool Breeze.

this is totally Death, or at the very least Sun depending on the circumstances.

#23 Posted by Little_Socrates (5684 posts) -

@Animasta said:

@Little_Socrates said:

Comfort those who do care. They might even help you come to terms with your uncle in some ways. Plus, you need that Judgment Arcana social link to get way up so you can summon a Trumpeter and get Cool Breeze.

this is totally Death, or at the very least Sun depending on the circumstances.

It would probably be Sun, but I can't make the joke with Sun because who the hell needs any Persona of the Sun Arcana?

#24 Posted by ikilledthedj (313 posts) -

I always feel bad for kinda not caring when people die or someshit but i guess i just have no soul

#25 Posted by iam3green (14390 posts) -

silent is a good way.

#26 Posted by TheDudeOfGaming (6078 posts) -

That's fucked up yo. I mean the part where you say that your uncle died and that you didn't give a singular fuck. Unless of course he came to visit you at night when there was no one around, then fuck that guy.

#27 Posted by Animasta (14715 posts) -

@Little_Socrates said:

@Animasta said:

@Little_Socrates said:

Comfort those who do care. They might even help you come to terms with your uncle in some ways. Plus, you need that Judgment Arcana social link to get way up so you can summon a Trumpeter and get Cool Breeze.

this is totally Death, or at the very least Sun depending on the circumstances.

It would probably be Sun, but I can't make the joke with Sun because who the hell needs any Persona of the Sun Arcana?

Tam Lin is pretty good

#28 Posted by Milkman (17068 posts) -

What do you need to fake? No one's going to call you out for not breaking down at the funeral. Just be respectful. 

#29 Edited by NTM (7490 posts) -

Just say "Well? Mom, Dad? I'm gonna go play video games. See ya and hope you stop crying soon. Oh, and about that guy, what was he... My uncle? Yeah, I'll spit on his grave. Alright, see ya soon." Just kidding. Sorry, that was terrible. Yeah, I kind of can be in similar situations, but the only difference is that I don't necessarily hate the person, more so the fact I don't really know a lot of them.

A lot of people on my mom's side, like aunt's, uncle's, cousins, grandparents, have died, and I have no real way to relate in the way she would feel down since I never knew them. Just don't talk about it since it's not really a topic you're comfortable talking about, and by topic, I mean specifically the death of your uncle, which in this case, you didn't really like.

#30 Posted by crusader8463 (14425 posts) -

Keep not caring. It's your life to choose who you like and dislike. Just because they are related to you by blood doesn't mean you suddenly have to care for a person if they are a douche or a bad person. Just don't be a bigger douche and say stuff like that around people that might have cared for the person, because to them he was someone they cared for. If they ask you can of course be honest and say that you just didn't like the guy and that you don't want to get into it, but don't go out of your way to let everyone know that you hated him.

#31 Posted by Winternet (8027 posts) -

Think about a world without internet. Those tears will roll.

#32 Posted by Nev (556 posts) -

Without knowing you, your family, their individual personalities, etc., it's hard to say. So yeah, as nearly everyone else has said: The best thing you can do is comfort your family that do care about him, and be there for them, if needed. I doubt anyone will be angry or confused if you aren't crying and freaking out; people handle death in different ways

#33 Posted by RE_Player1 (7566 posts) -

Keep on not giving a fuck but don't mock those that do care. Just go along with it, not pretending to be sad and fake crying just be calm and realize that this event is for others and not yourself.

#34 Posted by WilltheMagicAsian (1546 posts) -

Thousands of people die everyday. Just keep doing what you've always done.

#35 Posted by SeriouslyNow (8534 posts) -

The most important thing to remember is that nobody here gives a shit.

#36 Posted by PrivateIronTFU (3874 posts) -

Apparently what you do is go on message boards and assume we care. Which we don't.

#37 Posted by Tireyo (6447 posts) -

@Landon said:

You don't have to like the dead, but you should have respect for those that might care. Keep that stuff to yourself.

#38 Posted by Jimbo (9880 posts) -

Don't touch him on the shoulder.

#39 Posted by Jay444111 (2441 posts) -

People who grieve over the assholes of this world dying. Do be honest and be as insulting as possible. It does not matter what they think. If they liked the guy, they must be as horrible as that man was. No reason to be nice to them then.

Trust me... I know this stuff far too well.

#40 Posted by sickVisionz (1268 posts) -

Pretty easy. If someone you cared about died, what would you consider acceptable funeral behavior for someone who didn't like them. When you want them to be more along the lines of, "if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all," or would you want them playing a 3DS with the volume cranked up and no headphones during the wake and screaming that the dead person was a jackass?

LOL, shits not really a hard decision or difficult to figure out what the proper conduct should be.

#41 Posted by Morrow (1829 posts) -

@bio595:

I'm the honest, straightforward type.

If anyone asks about your feelings, just tell them it's hard for you to care for someone who was a bad person in your opinion. Tell them you don't want to be a hypocrite.

#42 Posted by S0ndor (2716 posts) -

Happens to me all the time. The only death I have cared about in my life was my grandfather's. Many other family members have since passed away without me caring. Some were assholes, others I simply didn't know well enough.

Life, whaddayagonnado.

#43 Posted by Ravenlight (8040 posts) -

Fake your death, obviously.

#44 Posted by PrivateIronTFU (3874 posts) -

@Jay444111: I can't tell if youre joking or not. I hope for your sanity you are.

#45 Posted by eugenesaxe (199 posts) -

If you don't feel it, don't fake it. Just be polite as necessary.

#46 Posted by mandude (2669 posts) -
@PrivateIronTFU: Please don't address it and for god's sake don't look it in the eyes.
 
Don't fake it, but don't take it to the other extreme and make a point about it.
#47 Posted by GiantsizeManThing (25 posts) -

@bio595: Wow, that's eerie. I'm in the exact same situation you are. My Uncle just drank himself to death and not a single tear from me.

#48 Posted by Jeust (10769 posts) -

Be honest. If you didn't like him, and he was a prick, why should you be caring?

#49 Posted by jakkblades (404 posts) -

Everyone has assholes, but not everyone is alive. Feel bad for someone who is dead.

#50 Posted by FancySoapsMan (5841 posts) -

just be nice and keep your thoughts to yourself