Stream of consciousness: Social Media and Depression

This is an experiment for a blog I like to call "stream of consciousness" a mostly unedited write up of things on my mind at the time. I think a more real way of writing may add to it but if you like how i write and don't like how its edited let me know and I can change the style for others enjoyment. If no one lies it thats fine too. I think writing and publishing is just another way to express my thoughts in a good way. any who...

Social Media and Depression

Despite what you might see from what i look like Im not a totally young person anymore. 27 years old and yea, I know someone older is gonna say that’s not old but I’m speaking more about getting further and further from the age where going out every night is the norm. Even if I wanted to go every night I couldn't. I was laid off from my position a while ago and through a long and arduous process I was able to get my school paid from the government.

Going back to school at this age has its disadvantages: Its been a long time since I've had to study or take my work home or learn hours and hours of new things daily. Making sure I have money for food and rent and thats most of my week. O and watching the good wife. sue me.The other part of the puzzle is that I'm for the most part an introvert so after a day of talking in school i need time to recharge. Im pretty happy with my life and how i live it. Ill be happily sitting messaging a couple people and watching a movie.

…….Then ill look at social and get depressed. Ill see a group of acquaintances talking about going out and i suddenly feel like I’m wasting my time or that i should also be going out.

Social media has been one of the best and worst things to happen in the 21st century. With things like twitter and Facebook you are able to be more connected with people who know and people respect then ever. You can know about events you might not have ever heard and news stories within minutes. it makes the world a little bit smaller and makes us all feel a little bit more connected.

The problem though is that you can pick and choose exactly the parts of your life that you want to present. This isn't anything new. People since the dawn of time have presented themselves as what they want to be rather then what they are. The difference now is that this behaviour is now available in an on demand feed in multiple places. Almost every status is about something great they are doing or thing they accomplished. Every picture is the best selfie out of 15 and the rest are of them having the best time of their lives with the person they love the most.

There have been a lot of studies in the past few years about how people who go on Facebook more are often more depressed and its not hard to understand; Seeing a constant highlight reel of everyone you know can make you think your life is insignificant in comparison. Often these feeds are seen with the absence of the lows.

Remember that as humans there are highs and lows. Everyone has times where they feel like they are not sure what they should do and where they should go even if they don’t say it. Also for the most part everyone else's life but yours isn't the roller coaster twitter would claim. Some people need constant parting and a large group of friends. Others like the occasional time out with their close group and relaxing the other times. Both are just as valid.

That last paragraph is mainly a reminder for myself but if you've ever felt like I have on that quiete night alone maybe you'll feel better.

Why do you measure your life against someone else's? It's your life, and ultimately, your responsibility to do with it what you want.

Is it less about "their lives are so great" and more about a reminder of some specific thing you don't have, that you're beating yourself up over? Like being an introvert and not so active socially? Lacking that person that you love the most? Not having video of you choking back puke whilst playing Mario 3 on a rollercoaster?

As an introvert too, I've had to come to terms with needing that time for myself, and not beating myself up because I wasn't matching up to extroverts. You have to go out because you want to, not because you feel like you should. And if you enjoy that down time, playing games, watching The Good Wife (you monster) then accept that, because it's something you're going to have to work around, not eradicate or replace. There's some reason you enjoy and do those activities, and you won't be happy if you totally deny them, or shame yourself over them.

yea for sure.

It took me most of my teens years but I am more than fine with who I am. I like my quiet time to think. I had my years of going out every night and I don't usually miss it.

I think we all sometimes get into a place where we look at our lives and compare to whats going on. Its just with social media it can be almost too easy to do that and the information you get is often a best of the best rather than what is the truth.

I don't have a facebook, myspace, ello, I stopped using twitter years ago for many of the problem you alluded to.

About the only ones of value I think are instagram, pinterest and linkedin. Tumblr maybe, dunno about that one.

I've been a lot happier for it.

Twitter in particular is a strange beast. The beauty of twitter is there are zero barriers, Rich or Poor, Old or young, close or far, any race, any gender you can literally talk to anybody. The horror of it course is that anybody, literally anybody, can talk to you too. I guess it shouldn't surprise me twitter is the pyscho stalker and pitchfork mob platform of choice, but it does make me very sad.

There is some definitely major opportunity cost to my choice of not being on these things (seeing family photos of friends, not getting invited to parties etc), but I find the majority of people I want to keep in contact with will email, call,text. And that you can also add new contacts the old way too.

And as you pointed out, sometimes constant knowledge is a bad thing. It's easy to get overloaded and sucked into those things. It's easy to see all these things you could be doing, feel like you should be doing and get paralyzed or overwhelmed. For me anyway the cost of facebook and twitter far outweighs the benefits.

This experiment for a blog, are you gaining inspiration from the beat generation writers for this or was this a random idea?

As someone who has never had a facebook/twitter/social media account (does commenting on Forums count as Social Media?) and barely uses a mobile phone I can easily say that life is pretty peachy like this. It's funny how technology is meant to make our lives easier when really it can make it more stressful, especially for kids in their teens who are still growing up and have to deal with this shite.

It's probably something they should teach in school is how to deal with the internet with what you're putting out there. Your identity, the context and tone of what you are saying online and the consequences of your online activity. But then they don't do finishing school anymore do they...

Another thing they should teach as a class in school is goal making and financial planning. But that's another topic I guess.

@bradbrains: thanks for sharing , although i don't relate to facebook, i totally understand what you are going for .. i have a friend that is going through a horrible time in their life right now and has deleted twitter from their phone in an attempt to avoid all the reminders of people continuing their normal lives and having fun etc .. but at the same time they are upset because the friends that haven't circumvented twitter to get through are seen to "not care" or "showing their true colors" .. its difficult .. and painful .. i am still in touch and there to help but it hurts watching them close themselves off like that when it made them so happy to tweet all the time etc ..

@bradbrains: Good write-up. I've been in a similar situation. I remember when I used to go on facebook multiple times a day and how my mood suffered. I stopped using facebook a few years ago and within a month I was noticeably happier. I still keep an account for contacts but since I so rarely check it I do miss out on some things with my friends though the ones that matter learned to just call.

I'm also in my late 20's and just graduated after returning to school. It gets easier to readjust to a school routine and I honestly appreciated school a lot more now than when I was younger.

Thanks again for writing this. Having my lost my job recently it's good to be reminded of what's important and to see people with similar experiences living life happily and overcoming any negativity.

@rebel_scum: was mainly a random idea. I was sitting at a screen all day writting code and wanting to write something else. additionally i didn't really think the thoughts i had was enough to make a full-on article so i just wrote what i thought. seemed more personable anyway based on the subject.

@envane: Im not a facebook guy either anymore. mainly because i find its less about being social and more about sharing links etc. I think we all have those days when something doesn't go well and you feel like you failed or you could be doing better and it can be way too easy to go on social media when your in that mindset and have a false confirmation that everyone has there life in order but you. i half wrote it as a reminder to keep things in perspective.