#201 Posted by SamuraiBudgerigar (129 posts) -

This thread is fan-matchstick!

I don't want to live anymore...

#202 Posted by forkboy (1174 posts) -

This thread inspired me to pick up some ear drops. Man that felt good. Didn't even think my ears were that bad but boy can I now hear things properly.

#203 Posted by MariachiMacabre (7099 posts) -
@Orbitz89

@august said:

So this guy was seeing a doctor and the doctor told him to see a doctor? And he he got mad? And left? Or something? CANADA

Well the man clearly stated he was from Romania, which is in eastern Europe.

Come to think of it this is the 3rd or 4th time I've seen you mention Canada or Canadians in a derogatory manner for no reason and no provocation. Did a Canadian steal your high school sweetheart? It's okay to feel a little insecure but.. Jesus.

I'm his high school sweetheart. At prom I asked him to me punch and when he did, I ran to me secret Canadian prom-lover, Derrick McCanada and ran away to get married. Now Derrick and I live in Newfoundland having sex everyday while laughing about that night at prom. Also I'm an heiress to billions.
#204 Posted by SirPsychoSexy (1331 posts) -

Why the fuck would you stick a match in your ear?

#205 Posted by raidingkvatch (1157 posts) -

Dude you should listen to your doctor and get your checked out.

#206 Posted by DJJoeJoe (1329 posts) -

I wish there was a way to read 11 pages of crap without having to read 11 pages of crap. I assume everyone has said already that the OP is a moron?

#207 Posted by TheSouthernDandy (3908 posts) -
@NekuSakuraba
I know I've already posted in this thread, but I wanted to say this -

Hey OP, looks like you... Met your match.

YEEEEAAAAAH.
I guess you could say the doctor
*puts on shades*
gave you an earful
YEAAAAAAAAAH
#208 Posted by NekuSakuraba (7241 posts) -
@TheSouthernDandy
@NekuSakuraba
I know I've already posted in this thread, but I wanted to say this -

Hey OP, looks like you... Met your match.

YEEEEAAAAAH.
I guess you could say the doctor
*puts on shades*
gave you an earful
YEAAAAAAAAAH
I hope that the next time he goes to the doctor he
*puts on sunglasses*
Finds the perfect match.

#209 Posted by fisher81 (535 posts) -

Quit being a cunt and listen to someone who knows what they are talking about.

#210 Posted by SpaceRunaway (870 posts) -

@DJJoeJoe said:

I wish there was a way to read 11 pages of crap without having to read 11 pages of crap. I assume everyone has said already that the OP is a moron?

I just looked at this, and I also assume that this mirrors everyone's opinion:

OP, YOU ARE THE DUMBEST.

#211 Posted by Brendan (7982 posts) -

Since a forum is an online conversation, let's pretend this is a real life conversation to make it clear just how pathetically unintelligent the OP is.

OP walks up to group of people. "Hey guys, let me tell you this story so that you can interact with me about it!" Proceeds to share how unintelligent he is.

Group of people collectively disagree with him.

"Well that's okay, I didn't tell a group of people my story so that I could listen to their responses! I just told a group of people my story so that they could hear it and then I could stick my fingers in my ears!"

People with brains wonder then why he is responding to the responses anyway, or even listening to them in the first place if this is the case. Many of them elect not to respond to this to save their sanity.

#212 Posted by The_Tolman (435 posts) -

@Krankenhaus said:

You should get your ear checked out.

#213 Posted by Blastroid (257 posts) -

I have done the match trick once and it worked for popping ears. This was with a rolled up paper and the flame on the match was to cause a vacuum. Maybe this was what the OP was trying to do but did not have all the facts to how to do it or what it will cure. I will say the OP should go to the doctor not for the ear problem but to find what mental illness he may have. I may have problems myself after reading this entire post.

#214 Posted by theguy (796 posts) -

If I had poked my ear so my hearing was bad and there was blood I wouldn't need a GP to tell me to go see a doctor. Maybe take care of your body?

#215 Posted by musclerider (591 posts) -

In Soviet Russia, stick matches you!

Now this thread is racist.

#216 Posted by Blastroid (257 posts) -

@theguy said:

If I had poked my ear so my hearing was bad and there was blood I wouldn't need a GP to tell me to go see a doctor. Maybe take care of your body?

That was not blood but brain leakage.

#217 Posted by Marz (5666 posts) -

I think the OP deserves all the problems later on in life led by his ignorance...

#218 Posted by Alexandru (301 posts) -

@2HeadedNinja said:

What are the chances the OP doesnt reply any longer because the got hit by a car that he wasnt able to hear while going shopping for matches?

Very thin chances

#219 Edited by Alexandru (301 posts) -

You can revive this thread all you want. Im still not going, and I'm still not hurt by you calling me an idiot. I've been on the internet for way too long to take this to heart.

#220 Posted by TinAutomaton (54 posts) -

PUT MATCHES IN EARS

ALL DAY

ERRY DAY

This thread is hilarious.

#221 Posted by SmilingPig (1340 posts) -

Was the match light?

#222 Posted by imsh_pl (3298 posts) -

so you have problems with hearing in your left ear which you attempted to clean with a match two years ago which resulted in pain and bleeding

and your doctor advised you to speak to a specialist in order to see if everything's alright

and you refused

right

#223 Posted by Stonyman65 (2808 posts) -

@Alexandru said:

GP like in family doctor.

So today I was at his cabinet and after talking about some shit, he asked me about my hearing. I then told him that the hearing on my left ear is very muffled and low at which he told me I may need to clean my ear up.

Everything working fine up to this point. But then I told him I attempted cleaning it with a match but I ended up hurting it and making it worse so I stopped (it was hurting and there was some blood). He obviously told me that using a match is stupid, etc, and he wanted me to go see a doctor, which I refused.

And this is where he pissed me off by not shutting up about it. I told him that it's been 2 years since that incident, so it's highly unlikely that something else will happen, but he kept saying that it can be dangerous, etc. I eventually said that I don't care enough and I left.

I just don't get these people that are so obsessed about the smallest stuff and need to urge you to see a doctor. I know he's a doctor himself, but still. Did any of you had stupid arguments like this?

Sounds like you might have ruptured your ear drum. It happened to me once and it IS NOT FUN. Seriously dude, you could go deaf in that ear. At a certain point, there is nothing you can do to repair it so get it checked out before something bad happens.

#224 Edited by CptBedlam (4454 posts) -

Wow, I feel really sorry for your GP that he had to have this stupid argument with you, OP.

@Stonyman65 said:

@Alexandru said:

GP like in family doctor.

So today I was at his cabinet and after talking about some shit, he asked me about my hearing. I then told him that the hearing on my left ear is very muffled and low at which he told me I may need to clean my ear up.

Everything working fine up to this point. But then I told him I attempted cleaning it with a match but I ended up hurting it and making it worse so I stopped (it was hurting and there was some blood). He obviously told me that using a match is stupid, etc, and he wanted me to go see a doctor, which I refused.

And this is where he pissed me off by not shutting up about it. I told him that it's been 2 years since that incident, so it's highly unlikely that something else will happen, but he kept saying that it can be dangerous, etc. I eventually said that I don't care enough and I left.

I just don't get these people that are so obsessed about the smallest stuff and need to urge you to see a doctor. I know he's a doctor himself, but still. Did any of you had stupid arguments like this?

Sounds like you might have ruptured your ear drum. It happened to me once and it IS NOT FUN. Seriously dude, you could go deaf in that ear. At a certain point, there is nothing you can do to repair it so get it checked out before something bad happens.

That's what I'm thinking, too. Happened to me a few years ago... gardening accident, we pulled out a small tree and a branch perforated my ear drum. I didn't notice how severe the injury was at first but when my hearing on that ear was still muffled after three days, I went to see a doctor. Well, after checking out the ear he told me what was up and professionally cleaned the ear (pulled out blood clumps and whatnot) so it can heal properly. After a few days/weeks, my hearing was restored but I was advised not to do any kind of diving for a few years, just to be safe. Dear god, the OP is dumb. Have fun with your muffled hearing then for the rest of your life .

#225 Posted by LastNinja (281 posts) -

@Alexandru said:

You can revive this thread all you want. Im still not going, and I'm still not hurt by you calling me an idiot. I've been on the internet for way too long to take this to heart.

Nobody is trying to hurt you - it's quite the opposite, I see a lot of people trying to give you some good advice.

#226 Posted by gamefreak9 (2396 posts) -

As someone with a family member with hearing problems, who I frequently escort to his ear specialists, I can confirm that your doctor is right.

#227 Posted by Hunter5024 (5892 posts) -

I'm going out on a limb here, but we are not really talking about your ear are we?

#228 Edited by WonderboyCoz (153 posts) -

em, has anybody asked why he won't go? or is he just stupid?

I did the exact same thing as this a couple of years ago and several months ago, I had my entire ear canal removed along with the portion of my brain that allows me to love. I am now totally alone and can only communicate through stories on the internet which may or may not be true. KIDS! don't make the mistake I made, don't stick matches in your ear and instead get your ear checked when your GP says so, whats the worst that can happen?

#229 Posted by SethPhotopoulos (5359 posts) -

@WonderboyCoz said:

em, has anybody asked why he won't go? or is he just stupid?

I did the exact same thing as this a couple of years ago and several months ago, I had my entire ear canal removed along with the portion of my brain that allows me to love. I am now totally alone and can only communicate through stories on the internet which may or may not be true. KIDS! don't make the mistake I made, don't stick matches in your ear and instead get your ear checked when your GP says so, whats the worst that can happen?

He keeps saying "But it happened 2 years ago." He probably should have gotten it checked out then and now that he hasn't it's probably only going to get worse. He is being stubborn and down right stupid holding on to a piss poor argument to justify his inaction.

#230 Posted by Nightriff (5238 posts) -

I thought GP stood for Grandapa so I was expecting something involving a family fight....this just seems stupid on your behalf

#231 Posted by FiestaUnicorn (1576 posts) -

@imsh_pl said:

so you have problems with hearing in your left ear which you attempted to clean with a match two years ago which resulted in pain and bleeding

and your doctor advised you to speak to a specialist in order to see if everything's alright

and you refused

right

This guy may not be working with a full deck.

#232 Edited by Undeadpool (4986 posts) -

Is this some kind of performance art??

@Alexandru said:

@pjacobson21 said:

My diagnosis? A full blown case of first world problems.

I live in eastern europe (Romania)... hardly 1st world...

Ya know what? WORTH IT! WORTH IT for this exchange right here!

Ah, the phrase "First world problems." Invented by and used by people in the first world who've never even BEEN to the "third world," but are DESPERATE to seem informed/sympathetic.

#233 Posted by LikeaSsur (1579 posts) -

@Undeadpool said:

Ya know what? WORTH IT! WORTH IT for this exchange right here!

Ah, the phrase "First world problems." Invented by and used by people in the first world who've never even BEEN to the "third world," but are DESPERATE to seem informed/sympathetic.

I may be in over my head here, but I thought "First World Problems" was a joke on how people in 1st world countries complain about the convenience of....well, living in a first world country. Example: "My internet went out, now all I can do is watch TV."

#234 Posted by believer258 (12081 posts) -

@FiestaUnicorn said:

@imsh_pl said:

so you have problems with hearing in your left ear which you attempted to clean with a match two years ago which resulted in pain and bleeding

and your doctor advised you to speak to a specialist in order to see if everything's alright

and you refused

right

This guy may not be working with a full deck.

He may be one sandwich short of a picnic. Possibly one piece short of a pie. Potentially one egg short of a dozen. One Goku short of a Dragonball Z episode. One goth kid short of a Marilyn Manson concert. One hippie short of a Woodstock. One Republican short of a third George Bush term.

...shall I go on?

#235 Posted by FiestaUnicorn (1576 posts) -

@believer258 said:

@FiestaUnicorn said:

@imsh_pl said:

so you have problems with hearing in your left ear which you attempted to clean with a match two years ago which resulted in pain and bleeding

and your doctor advised you to speak to a specialist in order to see if everything's alright

and you refused

right

This guy may not be working with a full deck.

He may be one sandwich short of a picnic. Possibly one piece short of a pie. Potentially one egg short of a dozen. One Goku short of a Dragonball Z episode. One goth kid short of a Marilyn Manson concert. One hippie short of a Woodstock. One Republican short of a third George Bush term.

...shall I go on?

Yes.

#236 Posted by TooWalrus (13254 posts) -

Wow. That was a dumb argument.

#237 Edited by believer258 (12081 posts) -

@FiestaUnicorn said:

@believer258 said:

@FiestaUnicorn said:

@imsh_pl said:

so you have problems with hearing in your left ear which you attempted to clean with a match two years ago which resulted in pain and bleeding

and your doctor advised you to speak to a specialist in order to see if everything's alright

and you refused

right

This guy may not be working with a full deck.

He may be one sandwich short of a picnic. Possibly one piece short of a pie. Potentially one egg short of a dozen. One Goku short of a Dragonball Z episode. One goth kid short of a Marilyn Manson concert. One hippie short of a Woodstock. One Republican short of a third George Bush term.

...shall I go on?

Yes.

  • One broken leg short of a kung fu movie.
  • One pedophile short of an anime convention.
  • One explosion short of a Call of Duty game.
  • One angry teen short of a Slipknot concert.
  • One brainless chick short of a Twilight launch.
  • One stripper short of a party.
  • One Roman short of a Grand Theft Auto IV.
  • One sandslide short of a Journey.
  • One tablesaw short of a Sleepy Dawg.
  • One Matt Damon short of a Saving Private Ryan.
  • One bimbo short of a fashion show.
  • One bouncer short of a Roadhouse.
  • One prick short of a Chopin concert.
  • One ugly striped scarf short of a hipster.
  • One kook short of a cult.
  • One racist caricature short of a Phantom Menace.
  • One refrigerator short of surviving a nuke.
  • One frashizzle short of a nizzle.
  • One Kanye West short of a grammy interruption.
#238 Posted by pyromagnestir (4333 posts) -

Oh man. You're the guy who made a thread after you told a girl who was asking you to lunch to go to hell? Heh. Things are starting to make a little more sense now. You need to do more than just go see an ear doctor, you need to get your damn life in order.

Also I literally just saw a commercial for a product called the Waxvac, which was a vacuum for earwax. That seems relevant to this thread, somehow. Where are the Tested guys when we need them?

Online
#239 Posted by MariachiMacabre (7099 posts) -
@believer258

@FiestaUnicorn said:

@believer258 said:

@FiestaUnicorn said:

@imsh_pl said:

so you have problems with hearing in your left ear which you attempted to clean with a match two years ago which resulted in pain and bleeding

and your doctor advised you to speak to a specialist in order to see if everything's alright

and you refused

right

This guy may not be working with a full deck.

He may be one sandwich short of a picnic. Possibly one piece short of a pie. Potentially one egg short of a dozen. One Goku short of a Dragonball Z episode. One goth kid short of a Marilyn Manson concert. One hippie short of a Woodstock. One Republican short of a third George Bush term.

...shall I go on?

Yes.

One broken leg short of a kung fu movie. One pedophile short of an anime convention. One explosion short of a Call of Duty game. One angry teen short of a Slipknot concert. One brainless chick short of a Twilight launch. One stripper short of a party. One Roman short of a Grand Theft Auto IV. One sandslide short of a Journey. One tablesaw short of a Sleepy Dawg. One Matt Damon short of a Saving Private Ryan. One bimbo short of a fashion show. One bouncer short of a Roadhouse. One prick short of a Chopin concert. One ugly striped scarf short of a hipster. One kook short of a cult. One racist caricature short of a Phantom Menace. One refrigerator short of surviving a nuke. One frashizzle short of a nizzle. One Kanye West short of a grammy interruption.

Keep going but ...slower.
#240 Posted by believer258 (12081 posts) -

@MariachiMacabre: Reformatted; better?

Also, I'm fresh out of potentially funny ones that I feel safe posting without starting controversy. Seriously, try coming up with some before you're halfway through typing one that's offensive.

#241 Posted by MariachiMacabre (7099 posts) -
@believer258

@MariachiMacabre: Reformatted; better?

Also, I'm fresh out of potentially funny ones that I feel safe posting without starting controversy. Seriously, try coming up with some before you're halfway through typing one that's offensive.

I didn't mean reformat. I mean slower in a...sensual way...
#242 Posted by the_OFFICIAL_jAPanese_teaBAG (4308 posts) -

Lol so you used a match to clean out your ear.........  Good one

#243 Posted by CrazyBagMan (856 posts) -

@Alexandru said:

You can revive this thread all you want. Im still not going, and I'm still not hurt by you calling me an idiot. I've been on the internet for way too long to take this to heart.

You're still an idiot. What's your excuse for not taking a doctors advice to heart? Your ear is F'd up and you shrug it off. No wonder your ear is F'd up.

#244 Edited by august (3861 posts) -

@Orbitz89 said:

@august said:

So this guy was seeing a doctor and the doctor told him to see a doctor? And he he got mad? And left? Or something? CANADA

Well the man clearly stated he was from Romania, which is in eastern Europe.

Come to think of it this is the 3rd or 4th time I've seen you mention Canada or Canadians in a derogatory manner for no reason and no provocation. Did a Canadian steal your high school sweetheart? It's okay to feel a little insecure but.. Jesus.

I can't remember ever saying anything bad about Canada on these boards. And if I did it was in jest.

But you apparently have my posting history memorized so I'll defer to your expertise.

#245 Posted by LikeaSsur (1579 posts) -

You know, you have to give him credit. Based on this topic and the last one, OP gained me as a follower. I don't want to miss what wacky thing he does next.

#246 Posted by Levio (1785 posts) -

Oh man, you use the match method too? I go through like a box of matches a week! Works like a charm.

#247 Posted by Undeadpool (4986 posts) -

@LikeaSsur said:

@Undeadpool said:

Ya know what? WORTH IT! WORTH IT for this exchange right here!

Ah, the phrase "First world problems." Invented by and used by people in the first world who've never even BEEN to the "third world," but are DESPERATE to seem informed/sympathetic.

I may be in over my head here, but I thought "First World Problems" was a joke on how people in 1st world countries complain about the convenience of....well, living in a first world country. Example: "My internet went out, now all I can do is watch TV."

I can't prove whether that's optimism on your part or accurate, but sadly the only way I've seen it used lately is "Oh my GOD! Stop complaining! Someone somewhere sometime has it WORSE THAN YOU DO! And instead of actually DOING anything about it, I've decided to lay a guilt trip on you!!" It also belies any REAL knowledge of actual first world problems.

#248 Posted by Strife777 (1610 posts) -
@LikeaSsur
You know, you have to give him credit. Based on this topic and the last one, OP gained me as a follower. I don't want to miss what wacky thing he does next.
Yeah, he's a fascinating character, you got to give him that. Ridiculous, but fascinating.
#249 Posted by freakin9 (1170 posts) -

He probably repeated and repeated to drill it into you head.

I'm surprised you didn't get hit by a paper airplane on your way out with the same advice scribbled on it.

#250 Posted by plaintomato (599 posts) -

@Strife777 said:

@LikeaSsur
You know, you have to give him credit. Based on this topic and the last one, OP gained me as a follower. I don't want to miss what wacky thing he does next.
Yeah, he's a fascinating character, you got to give him that. Ridiculous, but fascinating.

Well, I like his avatar anyway. There's that.