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#1 Edited by TheSouthernDandy (3770 posts) -

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/monkey-found-roaming-toronto-ikea/article6140276/

You can't make this up. I literally did a spit take when I saw the picture that was at the top of this article.

LOOK AT THAT MONKEY!! LOOK AT HIS LITTLE COAT!!

You can't see it but he's also wearing a diaper. Apparently he broke out of his crate and the car he was in and went for a stroll. I love this goddamn monkey.

EDIT: Video. Because awesome. Thanks to @JCTango

#2 Posted by MariachiMacabre (7039 posts) -

Jesus, that monkey is pimp as fuck. Goddamn, I'd totally be a booker for him.

#3 Posted by believer258 (11570 posts) -

Now all he needs is a banana and a Go-Kart and he could play Diddy Kong in the (totally not hypothetical) Donkey Kong Country movie.

#4 Posted by laserbolts (5310 posts) -

That is probably the coolest monkey I have ever seen.

#5 Posted by BestUsernameEver (4825 posts) -

Sadly he does not go home with his owners, since it is illegal like OP said. Onlookers described him as 'agitated', so I kind of feel bad for the monkey.

#6 Posted by MEATBALL (3020 posts) -

That little coat! Holy shit. It's amazing.

Online
#7 Edited by NegativeCero (2974 posts) -

That coat is probably more expensive than anything in my wardrobe.

#8 Posted by MooseyMcMan (10384 posts) -

Monkey.

#9 Posted by MikkaQ (10264 posts) -

Yep that's Toronto for you, we have the best and most affable crazy people.

#10 Posted by Turtlebird95 (2286 posts) -

That's adorable. Hopefully he's okay.

#11 Posted by Colourful_Hippie (4328 posts) -

Monkey needs a cane

#12 Posted by Orbitz89 (229 posts) -

As cute as that monkey is in that coat, it's good that he was wearing it... I can't imagine a monkey being too comfortable in Toronto in December. But what the hell do I know about animals.. Nothing, that's what.

#13 Posted by SmilingPig (1337 posts) -
#14 Posted by Kerned (1169 posts) -

Holy shit, guys! "Dapper monkey at Ikea" is totally an anagram for "Metal Gear Solid V." Oh Kojima, you scamp!

#15 Posted by pyromagnestir (4199 posts) -

@Colourful_Hippie said:

Monkey needs a cane

My thoughts exactly.

#16 Posted by steelerzfan101 (270 posts) -

Yeah, this is hilarious! They were actually just talking about this monkey on Attack of the Show tonight! They were just as amazed. Supposedly his name is Darwin...what a name!

#17 Posted by Toxeia (728 posts) -

I love how now that everyone's got a camera on their phone, EVERY INTERESTING THING is surrounded by people that look completely uninterested and totally focused on whatever dumb shit is on their phone because they're instagramming or something...

#18 Edited by Lego_My_Eggo (969 posts) -

@Kerned said:

Holy shit, guys! "Dapper monkey at Ikea" is totally an anagram for "Metal Gear Solid V." Oh Kojima, you scamp!

God dammit you are right!

Follow the monkey!
#19 Posted by CornBREDX (4757 posts) -

Reminds me of the goombas in the super mario brothers movie- except maybe less shoulders... or dumbness 
 

#20 Posted by envane (1159 posts) -

oh thats why the picture looks like it was taken with a horrible digital camera ... instagram

#21 Posted by gaminghooligan (1403 posts) -

someone needs to photoshop a bane mask on that monkey lol

#22 Posted by Nightriff (4866 posts) -

@CornBREDX said:

Reminds me of the goombas in the super mario brothers movie- except maybe less shoulders... or dumbness

Just reminded me I need to actually see this movie, god dammit

Also monkey is fuckin dope, he was on the today show but didn't notice that it is actually a funny story about it.

#23 Posted by Trainer_Red (314 posts) -

@gaminghooligan said:

someone needs to photoshop a bane mask on that monkey lol

I second this motion!

#24 Posted by JZ (2125 posts) -

Damn that monkey has swagger.

#25 Posted by Strife777 (1490 posts) -

Dude! Look at that guy! Hope he's fine whatever happens to him. I also hope they let him keep that sweet coat.

#26 Posted by VisariLoyalist (2990 posts) -

don't you mean an illegally stylish monkey, cause that's what I see.

#27 Posted by TooWalrus (13132 posts) -

This thread needs to be locked. I don't care how stylish this monkey is. Haven't you read the FAQ?

No discussion of illegal or illicit monkeys is allowed on the forums.
#28 Posted by Evilsbane (4519 posts) -

An illegal Danish! . . . I mean monkey...

#29 Posted by Shrimpy (96 posts) -

Thanks for posting that article, my days is going to be much better because I got to see it.

#30 Posted by Encephalon (1238 posts) -

Damn, that monkey is livin' large.

#31 Posted by TheSouthernDandy (3770 posts) -

@Shrimpy said:

Thanks for posting that article, my days is going to be much better because I got to see it.

I'm glad I could help. Let's all thank the real hero here though.

Thank you Swagger Monkey.

#32 Posted by panvixyl (325 posts) -
#33 Posted by GorillaMoPena (1890 posts) -

Looking scared, lost and confused is no different from how I look in an IKEA.

#34 Posted by Gerhabio (1975 posts) -

I want a monkey...

...minus the fecal slinging.

#35 Posted by TheSouthernDandy (3770 posts) -

@panvixyl said:

hahaha perfect

#36 Posted by uniform (1832 posts) -
#37 Edited by TheSouthernDandy (3770 posts) -

@Trainer_Red said:

@gaminghooligan said:

someone needs to photoshop a bane mask on that monkey lol

I second this motion!

Oh sweet jebus I wish I could take credit for this.

@uniform: DAMN you just beat me. Ok here's the other one I found.

#38 Posted by Breadfan (6589 posts) -

This is a common occurance at Ikea.

#39 Posted by Snail (8574 posts) -

@TooWalrus said:

This thread needs to be locked. I don't care how stylish this monkey is. Haven't you read the FAQ?

No discussion of illegal or illicit monkeys is allowed on the forums.

Fool. This discussion is clearly about the swagger that the furcoat instills into the illegal primate, not the primate itself.

Buzz off, you mod wannabe.

#40 Posted by gaminghooligan (1403 posts) -

@TheSouthernDandy: YES!!!!!

@panvixyl said:

This is also fantastic.

#41 Posted by JCTango (1358 posts) -

@TheSouthernDandy: do you, or anyone else for that matter, know where I can find a video they used in the news reports on the monkey... one that I can save locally to harddrive? I've seen it listed on cp24 and such but the file format they use is weird o_O.

#42 Posted by Little_Socrates (5675 posts) -

@TheSouthernDandy: @panvixyl: You jerks have me giggling like an idiot. lol

#43 Posted by Demoskinos (14524 posts) -

@Lego_My_Eggo said:

@Kerned said:

Holy shit, guys! "Dapper monkey at Ikea" is totally an anagram for "Metal Gear Solid V." Oh Kojima, you scamp!

God dammit you are right!

Follow the monkey!

FISSION MAILED!

#44 Posted by Ghost_Cat (1379 posts) -

Everyone DON'T call the police or animal control, just take a picture with your phone.

#45 Posted by MB (11903 posts) -

#ikeamonkey

This monkey is famous...so famous that Toronto Animal Control is now deporting him.

Someone photoshop the monkey into the Elian Gonzalez picture.

Moderator
#46 Posted by BlackLagoon (1375 posts) -
#47 Posted by FourWude (2261 posts) -

Forren munkey comin' an' takin' all arr jerbs.

#48 Posted by InternetCrab (1504 posts) -

I need that monkey.

#49 Posted by Winternet (8002 posts) -

I foresee that this thread is going to go to some dark places.

#50 Posted by ShaggE (6300 posts) -

Chimpin' ain't easy.