Suckage at the cinema, Summer 2009

Well it looks like this is going to be an underwhelming Summer at the theater. Hollywood apparently blew its load with Star Trek, and Raimi's latest entry in the horror comedy dram Drag Me To Hell (which isn't quite as universal.)

Michael Bay will have a hand in distracting 14 year olds with A.D.D for 3 hours while their moms go shopping; here's hoping the third installment of Transformers comes and goes so we don;t have to repeat our disdain on multiple threads 2 years from now.

The final bullet in the gun would be Michael Mann's "Public Enemies" where we get to see Johnny Depp as the infamous John Dillinger, being chased around by "less dynamic than we thought" Christian Bale.

Oh right... then there's Bruno...

Anyone else want to point a ray of light I may have missed?

DISCLAIMER: I am not insulting these films (accept Transformers). I have either greatly enjoyed those that have been released and am looking forward to those mentioned that are yet to be released. Now there should be no confusion.

All i see is darkness sadly, you summed it up pretty good.

I just saw Hangover, it was awesome!

Don't go then.

Hangover was fantastic, and if you can't enjoy Transformers (I'm assuming the sequel is on par with the original) you support genocide and tyranny, worst of all you don't like giant robots. If you don't believe in freedom, then don't go to the overpriced cinema. 

Maybe you should try a book or something this summer

The last time my friends and I saw a random film we knew nothing about, we saw Hard Candy (and then spent two weeks scrubbing our brains with wire wool).

So it was a relief when The Hangover turned out to be awesome.

up was an excellent movie

You dissed Public Enemies? C'mon really? That movie looks like awesomesauce. 

I have high hopes for Where the Wild Things Are and 9, but I suppose that's Fall territory. Though 9 is still technically in Summer.

" You dissed Public Enemies? C'mon really? That movie looks like awesomesauce.  "

Star Trek was good enough to hold me over for the summer. for me, summer is about being outside with friends, not inside watching a movie. 

Bruno looks awesome. Can't say I'm stoked on any other movie this summer, though.

Inglourious Basterds anyone?

UP was pretty excellent... and I bet Bruno will be good, Sacha Baron Coen knows what hes doing...

I watched Up! and Hangover. Up was amazing, Hangover was a big pile of shit. I can't wait for Bruno, but everything else looks pretty lame.

" I just saw Hangover, it was awesome! "

From what I can tell, Star Trek, Drag Me To Hell and Public Enemies will be the only Summer movies worth seeing. Up! isn't out here till October so i'm not counting that, but still, that's a shitty turnout. I really hope Public Enemies is some old school Michael Mann goodness but I just hate Johnny Depp so much and Bale isn't as good as expected so it all rests on the rest of the cast to hold it up.

" @HandsomeDead: Hey its not even cool to hate Johnny Depp. Why you gotta go and do that for? "

I saw Star Trek and Up. I really don't need to see anything else. Except Bruno.

" @Sprizmo said:

" @HandsomeDead: Hey its not even cool to hate Johnny Depp. Why you gotta go and do that for? "

Because he's shit. "

Well I am looking forward to Public enemies and Bruno, the girlfriend is looking forward to the next Harry Potter, so theres something for all.  My summer was made when Terminator came out though.

" @HandsomeDead said:

" @Sprizmo said:

" @HandsomeDead: Hey its not even cool to hate Johnny Depp. Why you gotta go and do that for? "

Because he's shit. "

But technically... he's not. Unless you've got incredibly diverse acting chops that we aren't aware of yet, you shouldn't be slinging mud at the Depp!!! "

" @Sprizmo said:

" @HandsomeDead said:

" @Sprizmo said:

" @HandsomeDead: Hey its not even cool to hate Johnny Depp. Why you gotta go and do that for? "

Because he's shit. "

But technically... he's not. Unless you've got incredibly diverse acting chops that we aren't aware of yet, you shouldn't be slinging mud at the Depp!!! "

So because I can't act, I can't criticise someone who does it professionally? I can't play an insturment but I know good music and bad music. I'm sure you can't develop a game so you can't say what's good or not either. Give me a real reason why I can't say he's shit. "

" @HandsomeDead said:

" @Sprizmo said:

" @HandsomeDead said:

" @Sprizmo said:

" @HandsomeDead: Hey its not even cool to hate Johnny Depp. Why you gotta go and do that for? "

Because he's shit. "

But technically... he's not. Unless you've got incredibly diverse acting chops that we aren't aware of yet, you shouldn't be slinging mud at the Depp!!! "

So because I can't act, I can't criticise someone who does it professionally? I can't play an insturment but I know good music and bad music. I'm sure you can't develop a game so you can't say what's good or not either. Give me a real reason why I can't say he's shit. "

Well you can say he's shit, and you are certainly entitled to your opinion. But isn't that a bit harsh considering this guy nailed Hunter Thompson, channeled Kieth Richards, and intentionally takes strange roles to defy hollywood's original plan for him to be just another heartthrob following 21 Jumpstreet. I say the guy can act, and he's not a self absorbed douchebag. "

" @HandsomeDead said:

" @Sprizmo said:

" @HandsomeDead said:

" @Sprizmo said:

" @HandsomeDead: Hey its not even cool to hate Johnny Depp. Why you gotta go and do that for? "

Because he's shit. "

But technically... he's not. Unless you've got incredibly diverse acting chops that we aren't aware of yet, you shouldn't be slinging mud at the Depp!!! "

So because I can't act, I can't criticise someone who does it professionally? I can't play an insturment but I know good music and bad music. I'm sure you can't develop a game so you can't say what's good or not either. Give me a real reason why I can't say he's shit. "

Well you can say he's shit, and you are certainly entitled to your opinion. But isn't that a bit harsh considering this guy nailed Hunter Thompson, channeled Kieth Richards, and intentionally takes strange roles to defy hollywood's original plan for him to be just another heartthrob following 21 Jumpstreet. I say the guy can act, and he's not a self absorbed douchebag. "

• Blow
• Chocolat
• What's Eating Gilbert Grape
• Benny & Joon
• Slow Burn

" @Sprizmo said:

" @HandsomeDead said:

" @Sprizmo said:

" @HandsomeDead said:

" @Sprizmo said:

" @HandsomeDead: Hey its not even cool to hate Johnny Depp. Why you gotta go and do that for? "

Because he's shit. "

But technically... he's not. Unless you've got incredibly diverse acting chops that we aren't aware of yet, you shouldn't be slinging mud at the Depp!!! "

So because I can't act, I can't criticise someone who does it professionally? I can't play an insturment but I know good music and bad music. I'm sure you can't develop a game so you can't say what's good or not either. Give me a real reason why I can't say he's shit. "

Well you can say he's shit, and you are certainly entitled to your opinion. But isn't that a bit harsh considering this guy nailed Hunter Thompson, channeled Kieth Richards, and intentionally takes strange roles to defy hollywood's original plan for him to be just another heartthrob following 21 Jumpstreet. I say the guy can act, and he's not a self absorbed douchebag. "

I'm thinking you're the kind of guy that steers from bizarre and novel things. You like your no nonsense gangster flicks and what not. So this is a matter of taste, rather than a legitimate issue with the actor. The guy hates screaming fans and even moved to France so he could avoid being pestered by them, and doesn't do talk shows or suck up press. He appreciates many things I do, including the brilliant work of Hunter S. Thompson, and similar intelligent dissections of pop sociology. In no way is he the attention seeking celebrity you're attempting to paint him as. "

" @HandsomeDead:

• Blow
• Chocolat
• What's Eating Gilbert Grape
• Benny & Joon
• Slow Burn

In case you needed a couple of examples of stellar Depp work "without a gimmick." "

" @HandsomeDead: Ok dude, I've seen your picture in your bio there and I can tell you're doing the whole "Pretty boy Emo band lead singer thing" that gets all the chicks. As if that hasn't been emulated a half trillion times. So much for originality. "

" @Sprizmo said:

" @HandsomeDead: Ok dude, I've seen your picture in your bio there and I can tell you're doing the whole "Pretty boy Emo band lead singer thing" that gets all the chicks. As if that hasn't been emulated a half trillion times. So much for originality. "

I don't even know what this has to do with Johnny Depp. "

Transformers was awesome, and I bet the second will be also, I can't wait to see it.

"

" @Sprizmo said:

" @HandsomeDead: Ok dude, I've seen your picture in your bio there and I can tell you're doing the whole "Pretty boy Emo band lead singer thing" that gets all the chicks. As if that hasn't been emulated a half trillion times. So much for originality. "

I don't even know what this has to do with Johnny Depp. "

@HandsomeDead: We were talking about gimmicks right? "

UP. Amazing.

" @Sprizmo said:

"

" @Sprizmo said:

" @HandsomeDead: Ok dude, I've seen your picture in your bio there and I can tell you're doing the whole "Pretty boy Emo band lead singer thing" that gets all the chicks. As if that hasn't been emulated a half trillion times. So much for originality. "

I don't even know what this has to do with Johnny Depp. "

@HandsomeDead: We were talking about gimmicks right? "

No. We were talking about Johnny Depp. "

" @Sprizmo said:

" @HandsomeDead: Hey its not even cool to hate Johnny Depp. Why you gotta go and do that for? "

Because he's shit. "

Go see The Hangover, i was shocked how good it was, my favourite summer movie yet, i prefered it to Star Trek and Drag me to Hell.

" @HandsomeDead: Ok dude, I've seen your picture in your bio there and I can tell you're doing the whole "Pretty boy Emo band lead singer thing" that gets all the chicks. As if that hasn't been emulated a half trillion times. So much for originality. "

" @HandsomeDead said:

" @Sprizmo said:

"

" @Sprizmo said:

" @HandsomeDead: Ok dude, I've seen your picture in your bio there and I can tell you're doing the whole "Pretty boy Emo band lead singer thing" that gets all the chicks. As if that hasn't been emulated a half trillion times. So much for originality. "

I don't even know what this has to do with Johnny Depp. "

@HandsomeDead: We were talking about gimmicks right? "

No. We were talking about Johnny Depp. "

Oh, just Johnny Depp's gimmicks. Cuz hes an actor, not a fancy musician. (I should probably mention I play piano, guitar, bass, drums, and steel drums, AND electronic music production... and get this... I have zero tattoos! Now thats different.) "

" @Sprizmo said:

" @HandsomeDead: Ok dude, I've seen your picture in your bio there and I can tell you're doing the whole "Pretty boy Emo band lead singer thing" that gets all the chicks. As if that hasn't been emulated a half trillion times. So much for originality. "

Dudes called Zac Efron; hes the dude whos boyfriend of Vanessa Hudgens because of publicity (see the awfulness that is HSM for more details).Think its a bit hypocritical. "

You also forgot the awesome looking District 9, coming August 14th. Late summer, yes, but I'd say it counts.

Up was amazing

Inglorious Basterds?