When I heard that Taco Bell had started serving breakfast again, I was admittedly quasi-excited. I remember, at least in the late 1990's when Taco Bell served an array of breakfast foods, but they weren't all that popular. I enjoyed the potato, egg and cheese burrito, but it was still, you know, Taco Bell. So, I set myself on a quest to find the closest "specialized" Taco Bell that was ready and willing to open at 7am for "First Meal". I, myself, am ready and willing to ingest horrible food. I've been known to partake in fake mexican food even when I live in San Diego, California, where there are actual taco shops selling real breakfast burritos. But I live life on the edge! I'm running to the border!
So I ordered a #3 breakfast combo that comes with a Johnsonville sausage and egg wrap, hash browns and my choice of coffee, orange juice or soft drink. I chose coffee so I could rank it with the other fast food swill. I also ordered a sausage and egg burrito for posterity. I could have chosen bacon instead of sausage, but I decided not to chance the possibility of the rare example of bad bacon. Paid and was handed my coffee, with two cream (like I like).
The coffee is... okay. Surprisingly so. They serve "Seattle's Best Coffee" which I've never had. Maybe people from Seattle would prefer it, considering it is their best after all. In my opinion, I think Jack in the Box has the best coffee since they sell a Kona blend. After that is McDonalds, then I think this cup here. Burger King sells by far the worst cup of coffee. I very rarely go to BK for breakfast, primarily because of how bad the coffee is.
Alright, the sausage and egg burrito first. It's a little larger than the McDonald's sausage breakfast burrito, so I'm assuming they pre-make these and throw 'em in the microwave or something. There's a bit of cheese in here too. Sausage is pretty bland. Eggs are much more pleasant than the McDonald's breakfast burrito, but still your usual fast food fare. All in all, it's a cheap one dollar burrito. Nothing necessarily scary about it, but it's still not worth classifying as food.
The hash browns are next. They were stuffed underneath the wrap, so this hunk of potato is fairly soggy and not very nice to look at. It's about the size of a wallet folded up. The edges are crispy but the middle is definitely limp and not very "hashed". My God... it's full of oil... The middle is soaked with oil from the fryer, which is... oh, wow. Not good. By far the worst hash browns I've had in some time.
Okay, now the pièce de résistance. The sausage and egg wrap. It looks kinda like a mini crunch wrap if you've ever seen those. The crunch wrap usually has a hard tortilla shell in the middle that's wrapped up with a flower tortilla and then grilled. The wrapper is coated in grease, but that may be from the hash browns also. Oh, weird... So it's a full on sausage patty, like you would get with a sausage breakfast sandwich at McDonald's or BK. The taste is... not very pleasant. There's a meat-ish quality to the mouthfeel, but the texture is a little chewy. The tortilla is a little crunchy since it was grilled and the eggs are overpowered by the sausage's overwhelming taste. There's some cheese in there too, but I would hardly know if I didn't look. I may not finish this... Some hot sauce would help, but I decided against it so that I could experience the natural flavors. What a horrible oxymoron. Alright, finished. Had to muscle it down, but... yikes.
Thankfully the coffee is still good. Certainly not the best, although probably in Seattle. I can't speak for that city. They gave me a coupon for a free breakfast item on my next visit, but... man... Probably another terrible idea.