• 61 results
  • 1
  • 2
#1 Posted by Lockeyness (187 posts) -

When I heard that Taco Bell had started serving breakfast again, I was admittedly quasi-excited. I remember, at least in the late 1990's when Taco Bell served an array of breakfast foods, but they weren't all that popular. I enjoyed the potato, egg and cheese burrito, but it was still, you know, Taco Bell. So, I set myself on a quest to find the closest "specialized" Taco Bell that was ready and willing to open at 7am for "First Meal". I, myself, am ready and willing to ingest horrible food. I've been known to partake in fake mexican food even when I live in San Diego, California, where there are actual taco shops selling real breakfast burritos. But I live life on the edge! I'm running to the border!

So I ordered a #3 breakfast combo that comes with a Johnsonville sausage and egg wrap, hash browns and my choice of coffee, orange juice or soft drink. I chose coffee so I could rank it with the other fast food swill. I also ordered a sausage and egg burrito for posterity. I could have chosen bacon instead of sausage, but I decided not to chance the possibility of the rare example of bad bacon. Paid and was handed my coffee, with two cream (like I like).

The coffee is... okay. Surprisingly so. They serve "Seattle's Best Coffee" which I've never had. Maybe people from Seattle would prefer it, considering it is their best after all. In my opinion, I think Jack in the Box has the best coffee since they sell a Kona blend. After that is McDonalds, then I think this cup here. Burger King sells by far the worst cup of coffee. I very rarely go to BK for breakfast, primarily because of how bad the coffee is.

Alright, the sausage and egg burrito first. It's a little larger than the McDonald's sausage breakfast burrito, so I'm assuming they pre-make these and throw 'em in the microwave or something. There's a bit of cheese in here too. Sausage is pretty bland. Eggs are much more pleasant than the McDonald's breakfast burrito, but still your usual fast food fare. All in all, it's a cheap one dollar burrito. Nothing necessarily scary about it, but it's still not worth classifying as food.

The hash browns are next. They were stuffed underneath the wrap, so this hunk of potato is fairly soggy and not very nice to look at. It's about the size of a wallet folded up. The edges are crispy but the middle is definitely limp and not very "hashed". My God... it's full of oil... The middle is soaked with oil from the fryer, which is... oh, wow. Not good. By far the worst hash browns I've had in some time.

Okay, now the pièce de résistance. The sausage and egg wrap. It looks kinda like a mini crunch wrap if you've ever seen those. The crunch wrap usually has a hard tortilla shell in the middle that's wrapped up with a flower tortilla and then grilled. The wrapper is coated in grease, but that may be from the hash browns also. Oh, weird... So it's a full on sausage patty, like you would get with a sausage breakfast sandwich at McDonald's or BK. The taste is... not very pleasant. There's a meat-ish quality to the mouthfeel, but the texture is a little chewy. The tortilla is a little crunchy since it was grilled and the eggs are overpowered by the sausage's overwhelming taste. There's some cheese in there too, but I would hardly know if I didn't look. I may not finish this... Some hot sauce would help, but I decided against it so that I could experience the natural flavors. What a horrible oxymoron. Alright, finished. Had to muscle it down, but... yikes.

Thankfully the coffee is still good. Certainly not the best, although probably in Seattle. I can't speak for that city. They gave me a coupon for a free breakfast item on my next visit, but... man... Probably another terrible idea.

#2 Posted by laserbolts (5311 posts) -

I dont know why I just read all of this.

#3 Posted by Ravenlight (8040 posts) -

TL;DR: Don't eat fast food breakfast.

#4 Posted by ShadowConqueror (3050 posts) -

You had me at Taco Bell.

#5 Posted by StrainedEyes (1321 posts) -

The fact that you are able to rank the various fast food coffee offerings, makes me sad.

#6 Posted by MooseyMcMan (10471 posts) -

@Ravenlight said:

Don't eat fast food.

I corrected the statement. Well, kinda. Most of that stuff is pretty bad. Taco Bell especially.

#7 Posted by Ravenlight (8040 posts) -

@MooseyMcMan said:

@Ravenlight said:

Don't eat food.

Ambiguity solved :P

#8 Posted by Hizang (8534 posts) -

This thread is amazing because I'm hungry.

#9 Posted by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -

Soggy hash browns at a fast food restaurant? What a surprise.

#10 Posted by handlas (2659 posts) -

didnt know Taco Bell ever served breakfast at all.

If I must eat fast food breakfast its always between Chick-Fil-A or Hardee's (Carl's Jr.)

#11 Posted by Marcsman (3116 posts) -

Thank god there are no TB's around here anymore.

#12 Posted by PeasantAbuse (5138 posts) -

I like fast food, but I'm not into fast food breakfasts. Also not really into Taco Bell at all.

My friends that drink coffee say that McDonald's does have surprisingly great coffee, which is kind of strange.

#13 Posted by eugenesaxe (199 posts) -

I like Taco Bell, but of all fast foods, it has the highest frequency of early unplanned evacuation. Therefore, unacceptable as breakfast food.

#14 Edited by Catarrhal (820 posts) -
@Lockeyness said:

The taste is not very pleasant. There's a meat-ish quality to the mouthfeel, but the texture is a little chewy.

That's probably because it's only 36% meat.  Make no mistake, though; it's still 100% bullshit.
#15 Posted by Foxtrot0245 (319 posts) -

@PeasantAbuse: Yea, their iced coffee is better than Dunkin' Donuts' and Starbucks' iced coffee as well. That used to make my head spin.

#16 Posted by Vexxan (4615 posts) -

I doubt any fast food breakfast is any good...anywhere.

#17 Posted by fini_fly (767 posts) -

@Vexxan said:

I doubt any fast food breakfast is any good...anywhere.

A Tim Hortons breakfast sandwich is.

#18 Posted by bybeach (4725 posts) -

I would never go to TB for fastfood breakfast, but I am honestly a fan of Jack in the Boxes Sausage crissant and recently their Extreme sausage combo. The combo is the sandwich (fried egg, sausage, cheese and maybe still for the crissant, horseradish like sauce.), hashbrown logs, and for me orange juice. When I get home I reheat for a few seconds put on a mild Horseradish sauce of my own and stuff some of the hashbrown boards..logs..whatever, into the sandwich. Natue seasonings and Pepper

It's actually truly damned good! But I haven't gone for several months for any fast food.

#19 Posted by Lockeyness (187 posts) -

@fini_fly said:

@Vexxan said:

I doubt any fast food breakfast is any good...anywhere.

A Tim Hortons breakfast sandwich is.

Oh my god, that sounds amazing.

#20 Posted by Hot_Karl (3309 posts) -

I got a coupon for a free breakfast item at Taco Bell. No purchase necessary. They're just giving this stuff away. I guess I have to try this now.

#21 Posted by AlexW00d (6182 posts) -

@Ravenlight said:

TL;DR: Don't eat fast food.

I should stop editing your posts in to what I would post.

#22 Posted by CounterShock (420 posts) -

They've been serving breakfast since at least June 2011, unless it's a regional thing.

#23 Posted by Gabriel (4055 posts) -

The only fast food breakfast I ever get are Mcgriddles.

#24 Posted by Scrawnto (2434 posts) -

I fucking love that this was apparently dictated as you were eating the food.

#25 Posted by Lockeyness (187 posts) -

@Scrawnto: Thanks! I'm thankful I don't have a webcam, 'cause that would've been the worst fucking video.

#26 Posted by C0V3RT (1351 posts) -

Give me my simple Egg McMuffin once every couple months and I'm content.

#27 Edited by PenguinDust (12450 posts) -

Fascinating! I'm not being sarcastic either, I love reading and hearing people critique popular eateries. I watch a lot of the Food Network and Travel Channel just to see the hosts visit all these different restaurants and then describe what the food tastes like.

I hope you'll do a follow-up on what the breakfast at Subway is like next. I still can't get my head wrapped around eating subs, even "breakfast subs" that early in the morning.

#28 Edited by Rohok (553 posts) -

I never eat fast food breakfast anymore and I very rarely eat fast food, save for Chipotle. Otherwise I used to love the Taco Bell chalupas, but I can never stand fast food eggs. The whole thought grosses me out. Come to think of it I hate eggs in general unless they're sunny side up.

But yeah that was a great read, I read the whole thing and now I know not to go eat Taco Bell breakfast.

#29 Posted by Lockeyness (187 posts) -

@PenguinDust: I've never had Subway breakfast for just that reason. But... I guess it wouldn't hurt?

@Rohok: Glad to be of service!

#30 Posted by countinhallways (632 posts) -

*Clears throat*

"Hello, I am the Taco Bell Breakfast, nice to meet you."

#31 Posted by jozzy (2041 posts) -

@Scrawnto said:

I fucking love that this was apparently dictated as you were eating the food.

Yeah, I enjoyed reading this a little too much. Great job!

#32 Posted by iPliskin (117 posts) -

Jack in The Box, Wendy's and Denny's breakfasts are the best.

#33 Posted by c0kemusheen (64 posts) -

@Vexxan said:

I doubt any fast food breakfast is any good...anywhere.

Starbucks makes great breakfast sandwiches and croissants, Dunkin donuts has some flat bread egg and ham thingys which are nice too. Just gotta stay away from the "big" fast food places, stick to the more local coffee shops they have some good stuff

#34 Posted by MikeGosot (3227 posts) -

I never ate at Taco Bell before. Is the overall food better than the breakfast?

#35 Posted by Zleunamme (651 posts) -

The first time I ate at a Taco Bell was also my last time there. The food looked terrible and the dining area was awful place to sit. The fast food breakfast that I enjoyed were McDonalds and Jack in the Box. Your better off getting breakfast at a local dinner.

#36 Posted by Lockeyness (187 posts) -

@MikeGosot: Definitely not. At least for those of you who have some shred of self respect. If you want to simultaneously eat a meal and hate yourself, may I suggest Taco Bell.

#37 Posted by MikeGosot (3227 posts) -
@Lockeyness said:

@MikeGosot: Definitely not. At least for those of you who have some shred of self respect. If you want to simultaneously eat a meal and hate yourself, may I suggest Taco Bell.

Now i need to try it. 
#38 Posted by McGhee (6094 posts) -

@MikeGosot said:

@Lockeyness said:

@MikeGosot: Definitely not. At least for those of you who have some shred of self respect. If you want to simultaneously eat a meal and hate yourself, may I suggest Taco Bell.

Now i need to try it.

Yes, this is the right mindset to have when eating Taco Bell.

#39 Posted by Vinny_Says (5686 posts) -

I like McDonalds the best because they at least try to cover the shit smell of fast food. The food itself is meh but the establishment smells ok. I literally get nauseous when I step into a taco bell or KFC....and I fucking LOVE chicken.

#40 Posted by mlarrabee (2885 posts) -

Wow. I actually read all of that, and was kept interested the entire time. I've no idea how you did that, but nice job!

As one from Seattle, I can say that the coffee here (or rather "there" at the moment) is phenomenal. I do quite a lot of national travel, and the best hotel coffees are from Seattle. If Seattle's Best didn't do anything for you, you received a poor cup. Seattle's Best is one of my favorite coffees; this from a guy who went to school on Kauai, the other home of great coffee.

@PeasantAbuse said:

My friends that drink coffee say that McDonald's does have surprisingly great coffee, which is kind of strange.

That's very true. It's certainly not a fantastic roast, but shockingly smooth for a fast-food coffee.

@Foxtrot0245 said:

@PeasantAbuse: Yea, their iced coffee is better than Dunkin' Donuts' and Starbucks' iced coffee as well. That used to make my head spin.

Oh, Starbucks' iced is downright demonic. That artificial sweetener is brutal, yet it still doesn't overpower the taste of burned beans that Starbucks' has become known for.

#41 Posted by Lockeyness (187 posts) -

@mlarrabee: Oh, fascinating! I thought it was just one of those weird marketing things. Like when a restaurant serves something that's "World Famous". I guess that gives me a reason to go back to Taco Bell. Maybe get there earlier or ask for a fresh pot to brew. I was hoping to hear from someone around Seattle, so thanks for the tip!

#42 Edited by g6065 (271 posts) -

@laserbolts said:

I dont know why I just read all of this.

Word.

Neither do I.

#43 Posted by Evilsbane (4531 posts) -

Sausage Egg and Cheese Mcgriddle the One thing McDonalds has going for it HOW DO THEY GET THIS SYRUP INSIDE THE GRIDDLE?

#44 Posted by iam3green (14390 posts) -

funny that i am eating taco bell right now. i just had two tacos and something else i forgot what it was, it was a taco but it had cheese and then a burrito wrap over the shell.
 
i'm not up early enough for breakfast. i would not try taco bell for breakfast. i just see it as tacos, mexican meat.  i don't like breakfast too much.

#45 Posted by Chop (1994 posts) -

Taco Bell shouldn't even be allowed to operate. I'm pretty sure their food is basically poison.

#46 Edited by Rudeboy217 (1766 posts) -

Yo, I am just going to make myself a breakfast burrito.

Also why are there like 50 Taco Bells in Bakersfield?

#47 Posted by mandude (2669 posts) -

I thought Starbucks was Seattle's best coffee...

#48 Posted by Bam_D_Leprechaun (795 posts) -

Best fast food breakfast I have had is from Whataburger.

#49 Posted by Burzmali (452 posts) -

I was going to try their breakfast food on Friday. I have a coupon for a free item, so I thought it might be something to grab on the way to work. But they don't open until 9 and I have to be at work by 8. The people at Taco Bell must be high if they think 9:00 breakfast is going to be successful. During the weekdays they won't be doing shit for business. The only advantage they have over McDonalds is that they keep serving breakfast until 11. So they'll probably sell some stuff on Saturdays. I give it 6 months before they give up and blame America's breakfast tastes rather than their idiotic availability.

#50 Posted by Sackmanjones (4652 posts) -
+@PeasantAbuse said:

I like fast food, but I'm not into fast food breakfasts. Also not really into Taco Bell at all.

My friends that drink coffee say that McDonald's does have surprisingly great coffee, which is kind of strange.

I don' know how they do it but that is absolutely true, McDonald's has really good coffee.