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#1 Posted by harinosho (593 posts) -

Hey GB

What is the craziest thing that has happened to you while you're at work. Just today I got a warning for disagreeing with this old lady that tried to teach us something. I was just amazed and wondering ifsomething like this or worse / funny has happened to you guys.

#2 Edited by CaLe (3911 posts) -

I was brought into a back room, all hush hush, serious business and whatnot. Sat down in front of the manager. He's adjusting his tie, cupping his hands in front of him, you get the idea. He said to me, he said, we need you to smile more. That's what he said to me. Long story short, I quit that piece of shit job. They can take their scowlism and shove it where the moon don't shine.

#3 Posted by EVO (3864 posts) -

I was speaking with a coworker out back and you know when someone's talking and a bit of saliva flies out of their mouth? Well, he did that, only at the exact same moment a cleaner walked between us, hitting him in the face.

#4 Posted by Bell_End (1208 posts) -

@CaLe said:

I was brought into a back room, all hush hush, serious business and whatnot. Sat down in front of the manager. He's adjusting his tie, cupping his hands in front of him, you get the idea. He said to me, he said, we need you to smile more. That's what he said to me. Long story short. I quit that piece of shit job. They can take their scowlism and shove it where the moon don't shine.

to be fair nobody wants a miserable cunt wandering around the work place bumming everyone out. bet their pleased you left.

#5 Edited by CL60 (16906 posts) -

I work security and a guy in a clown costume ran up to the doors and started humping and making out with the glass. Then ran away.

#6 Posted by CaLe (3911 posts) -

@Bell_End said:

@CaLe said:

I was brought into a back room, all hush hush, serious business and whatnot. Sat down in front of the manager. He's adjusting his tie, cupping his hands in front of him, you get the idea. He said to me, he said, we need you to smile more. That's what he said to me. Long story short. I quit that piece of shit job. They can take their scowlism and shove it where the moon don't shine.

to be fair nobody wants a miserable cunt wandering around the work place bumming everyone out. bet their pleased you left.

They're.

#7 Posted by Scooper (7882 posts) -

Licked strawberry flavoured lube off a colleagues boobs during a nightshift, and she was supposed to be my supervisor lol

#8 Posted by Bait003 (36 posts) -

i had my one glass lens pop out and land in a bucket of chicken stock then i got to ask my co-workers," umm can somebody help me find my glass lens in the chicken stock?" My two co-workers laugh at me for about 10 minutes then we strained the chicken stock and i got my lens back and got it back into my glass frame and back to work.

#9 Posted by Phyrlord (171 posts) -

A couple of years ago I was working at an engineering firm in IT. Well when you work on computers all day you tend spend most of lunch farting around on them too. My one co-worker suggested we started to play some games. I thought it would be fun to do some small FPS stuff. We decided to get the old unreal tournament demo (only like 50megs) and fart around on that. I think it was my idea. Well I would win a bunch and then slowly the scores started to change. It got to point were I was trying my hardest to beat this guy but then going like 0-30 against him. Turns out he was like in the Canadian championships of unreal tournament way back in 2000/2001. He just wanted to have some fun with me. I never saw this coming because his gaming knowledge was extremely little at best. I think he said he gave it all up after his pro days.

#10 Posted by iam3green (14390 posts) -

sure i have a few, yesterday i saw a car accident happen, a fender bender. a lady backed into another lady as she was letting people cross the street. the lady got one of her break light broken. i took it that the lady backing up couldn't see her as what it looked like she turned then bam.

the other day an old lady came up to me to tell me that there was a babby in this person's car with the windows closed. i couldn't really see since the windows were tinted. i saw a foot so i just assumed. i go to tell my boss. i show her and she said it was a toy babby. we started laughing.

#11 Posted by rockyhorrorgerri (373 posts) -

I was working at as a Demo at Bj's <-- Yes this was my serious title. Not only did I get old men after old men hit on me (I'm a girl btw) asking if I actually Demo-ed Bjs.. and I had various scenarios where I had to sample Poppycock. Well we are to announce loudly our samples and basically try to sell it to customers. All the sexual innuendos. Lots of war veterans asking if I wanted to see their, "Purple Heart"...

But the craziest had to be I was given cookie mix.. from scratch I had to make cookie mix, bake it, and decorate it. The process took maybe 45 minutes per batch because I was not aloud to leave my station (to clean bowls, get supplies) and my work space was maybe the size of a high school desk. Granted it took awhile between batches. I had this man come up to me and ask for a sample. After telling him they'll be ready in about 35 minutes he had a melt down. Started cursing at me why the hell I get paid to do this one thing and there's nothing there. After maybe 5 minutes of trying to clam him down. I repeatedly told him to come back in a few minutes, I'll have some then. No, he choose to sit in front of my cart for the full 30 minutes waiting instead of shopping for groceries, and told me exactly why he hated me and how I am causing him stress, etc etc. My supervisor came by a few times (she was getting me supplies to bake) and tried talking him away from my cart. He'd constantly say, "This feud is between me and the demo lady". Well when they were done, Instead of half I gave him the entire cookie... I didn't want him coming back. I told him it's hot but enjoy. He shoves it in his mouth and then yells at me because it's burning the inside of his mouth and he's going to sue me because he won't be able to taste anything anymore.

#12 Posted by Jrinswand (1695 posts) -

I had my life threatened a couple of times when I worked at GameStop. I guess that was pretty cool?

#13 Posted by TooWalrus (13137 posts) -

I know there's this asshole who was smoking in the bathroom (which, in a kitchen, is a big deal), but he gets away with it because he's the bosses childhood friend... Asshole! He knows he can lie to me and get away with it now. Dick.

#14 Edited by Akyho (1585 posts) -

I have alot. Ill try and keep it few and short.

It was 40 minutes till closing. I worked in a decoration shop, so paint and wallpaper I was 16.

A guy came up to me and asked for a pen. Pens were rare however I gave in and also gave him a bit of paper. He started to take notes of paints on the wall. No biggie helping him could sell a bunch of paint.

My manager comes by and say to me "He asked you for something?" I said pen and paper.

He said "he has done this a few times and never buys anything. Watch this."

So he goes up to him and asks him to leave. He gets angry and complains that its unfair, my manager never flinched and just said out.

Chuft with himself comes back. I shrug and go "oh well" he then goes off.

A 30ish woman with her 6 year old son was looking at the cheapest paint we had that was also the most expensive normally, Clearance and all.

She put down her paint pulled her son along to me and said " That was unfair, that was realy rotten that! I wont be shopping here again!" then she walked to the door...put her hand on it...and then she heard. The man who was kicked out was outside shouting to his friends "THAT FUCKING GINGER CUNT!! FUCKING KICKED ME OUT FOR NOT FUCKING REASON!! ILL FUCKING KILL THAT STUPID FUCKING CUNT!" and so on and so on and son.

She looked to her 6 year old son dragged in hand...then she thinks to herself....she cant go outside...she needs to stall. Then the Idea hits her, she comes to the counter and says "I want the name of your Manager and the number to your complaints department!" I went "Uh um...I am not sure I can do that?

My manager strolls up still chuft. "My name is Adam ***** and the number is ********** here Ill write it down for you."

He does so...she looks puzzled complains a little then said "I will never come here again I will shop elsewhere!" then still hears the guy shouting. Goes to the door...trying to stall and then just eventually pushes through and speeds off fast.

I explained to my manager what that was about and we laugh. I also said she was looking at that paint. He said "She wont find anything like that for that price."

5 minutes before we closed. I see her quickly sneak in 6 year old dragged behind her. Snatches up the paint she was handling before and puts it on the counter with her head down.

I was just moving over to serve her and be as quiet as possible....NO. My manager pretty much ran to get in front of me pushed be quiet force ably to serve her. With a huge smile he scanned the paint. Her head stayed down, he said in great happiness "Great price isnt it? Wont find it anywhere else!" She gave a shuffle of her head as if to say "Yeah I know.....prick."

So he screwed into her a bit more about how great it all was. She was bagged up and ready to go snatched it and scampered off. 6 year old still dragged behind.

He was an asshole.

Everyone bloody morning Id be eating my breakfast before the shop opened. He would go to the toilet straight across the break room. Then comes out and give every horrible detail of what he just did in the toilet as I eat my Egg Bacon and Cheese Bagel.

He once called me into the same break room to review me as every month he did. He said "Have you considered looking else were? Have you felt? Retail isnt for you?"

He wanted me to leave. I wasnt going to. Then I hear the only other two staff member's were going to be gone for a while. One had gall stone and the other had a months holiday booked. Both were going to be gone for a month. I then tried to hand in my resignation. He ended up almost begging me to stay. I did and he never tried to convince me to leave either.

We got another Trainee, aside from me. Guy named Gareth. He was a favored by My manager and was trained in being a Manager while I was only trained on till to fill in while everyone was off. Thing is...Gareth didnt believe in god. Thats not a problem. I am athiest myself. He did however believe in the devil and volcanoes were him being angry.

He was 17 and trying for a baby with his Girlfriend. I said "Babies are a little umm.......thought about marriage first?" He freaked out and went "WOAH! that bit of a commitment!" and a baby isnt!?

In the end aside from getting that girl pregnant, leaving her going with another girl and end up two timeing with her and another girl with both thinking if he dosnt go with the other girl. She will kill her. He turned up on the UK Version of Jerry Springer, The Jeremy Kyle show.

Key thing about Gareth. Is Adam loved him groomed him to be trained as a manager, Gareth got angry threw his shirt and said he would never come back. Over a shelf....a shelf that wouldn't go in right......thats how he left.

I finished my training and went to college. I have since ran two shops by myself and was an integral part to the running of my main shop of employment, training dozens of people in the feild of retail and well. My customer service is impeccable and overall I am a dream worker. . And Adam didnt think retail was the the place more me?

#15 Posted by csl316 (8114 posts) -

I was walking in this isolated area, heard a ghost, and then my Courage significantly increased.

#16 Posted by Lobster_Ear (284 posts) -

I almost got fired for coming into work with a little stubble. I was told it was "completely unacceptable" and "I embarrassed" the manager. Keep in mind this was a new job and nobody told me a little facial hair was unacceptable. The manager sent me home early and told me if it happened again I would be discharged.

#17 Edited by believer258 (11637 posts) -

I once worked in a Subway and was told to clean out the mold from the water drains under the sinks, a job which had not been done for a few years.

I did not work there long.

#18 Posted by kerse (2100 posts) -

I worked at a Walmart deli for a while and one of the guys there got so mad at a customer he threw a whole container of mashed potatoes on them, the crazy thing was he wasn't disciplined at all.

#19 Posted by Vigil (231 posts) -

I was accused of stealing an iphone and then planting it in a co-workers locker. Turns out the bitch just stole an iphone and hid it in her locker, the video evidence was pretty hard to refute.

#20 Edited by wewantsthering (1551 posts) -

@CaLe said:

I was brought into a back room, all hush hush, serious business and whatnot. Sat down in front of the manager. He's adjusting his tie, cupping his hands in front of him, you get the idea. He said to me, he said, we need you to smile more. That's what he said to me. Long story short, I quit that piece of shit job. They can take their scowlism and shove it where the moon don't shine.

I'm surprised anyone would hire you with that attitude. Haha.

I had a former boss tell me, "If you do that again, I'll cut off your head and take a dump down your throat." What did I do? I drove our little golf cart in the slightly wrong area, which isn't even a big deal at all. I think he was just having a bad day or something, but pretty harsh words for a boss to use towards an employee. Haha.

#21 Posted by WalkerTR77 (1352 posts) -

I work Saturdays in a pharmacy. For some reason customers have an odd compunction to be really rude when things aren't going their way, often acting in a way that just wouldn't be appropriate elsewhere though it's never been too far beyond rudeness.

We also dispense methadone, one of these... patients (?) seems to really dislike me, so last Saturday I spent an uncomfortable ~5 minutes locked in a weirdly tense/threatening conversation with him. Usually these people don't quite have the usual social graces but are respectful enough and just get in and out as fast as humanly possible.

#22 Posted by Brandino (246 posts) -

This didn't happen to me at my work but i was hanging out with a buddy at his work (works at a gas station) and this was way back when most gas stations would let you pump before you pay and was around 1am and this asshole tried to pump and run and when my friend noticed him getting back into his car he immediately ran out with a giant wrench and threw it through the back of the guys window.

The guy didn't stop and never came back.

#23 Posted by CatsAkimbo (601 posts) -

I edited a document for someone at work and added a "but" conjunction to a sentence. The person told me, "are you sure? I've never used that word because it's crass and juvenile." This person continues to never use the word "but" despite me repeatedly saying that's it's ok, it's not the same word as "butt," and it's a very common and normal word to use.

#24 Posted by Arbie (1449 posts) -

Hmm, I once worked as a waitress at some inn type place and one evening I was asked to bring up some bottles of wine from the cellar. On the way down I slipped and smacked my head and back off the concrete. Just before blacking out I'd managed to call one of the girls who came down with a couple of others to help. The guys in charge called an ambulance and one of the girls called my parents. Fortunately the two arrived at the same time as the managers had lied and said I'd fallen because I'd had a diabetic fit, despite me never saying I had diabetes! When I returned to work I found out why they had said this. The cellar stairs had been deemed unsafe months before and I wasn't the only person to injure themselves on them. The cheap bastards hadn't wanted to fork out to get them fixed!

#25 Posted by CookieMonster (2416 posts) -

@Bell_End said:

@CaLe said:

I was brought into a back room, all hush hush, serious business and whatnot. Sat down in front of the manager. He's adjusting his tie, cupping his hands in front of him, you get the idea. He said to me, he said, we need you to smile more. That's what he said to me. Long story short. I quit that piece of shit job. They can take their scowlism and shove it where the moon don't shine.

to be fair nobody wants a miserable cunt wandering around the work place bumming everyone out. bet their pleased you left.

Fucking brilliant.

#26 Posted by matti00 (668 posts) -

I used to work in child protection, the craziest things that happened to me I have neither the legal ability nor the appetite to tell you.

#27 Posted by Sanity (1891 posts) -

Used to work at a defense contractor.... When i was laid off i basically had to sign a paper that said i could be charged with treason if i talked about the work we did there. And all i did was work on cables.... The US is really full of its self sometimes.

#28 Posted by Profsn1pe (16 posts) -

I work at a beer distributor for the most part by myself during my shifts since I usually work after class. What happened was that a pigeon somehow got into the store and found it's way into the back office without me knowing until I went back there. The pigeon was on top of the curtains at the edge of the room and I was pretty hesitant to get near it out of fear of it freaking out and attacking me which in hindsight feels very wussy to me. After a quick call to my boss I was told to catch the pigeon much to my dismay. I grabbed a blanket that was back there for some reason and as I got close to the pigeon it started to freak out and fly everywhere and flew into the bathroom where I closed the door trapping it in the bathroom. I then went into the bathroom and had an epic battle with the pigeon as it flew around in the small bathroom but I was able to catch it with the blanket and transported it outside.

I luckily still haven't had anything half as strange as that happen to me since.

#29 Posted by Clonedzero (4091 posts) -

i used to work at this mail factory place. where we'd print, package and ship out all sorts of annoying junk mail. catalogs, army recruitment ads, just tons of crap no one ever wants.

anyhow, i was covering a conveyor belt and HOW i saw it is beyond me, but i saw one addressed to me. so i pulled it off the belt and held on to it, then i showed people in the break room later on after i opened it and stuff. the boss overheard it and fired me. apparently its against the law to open mail before its been shipped or something to that effect. i even showed him that it was addressed to me but he was SUPER pissed.

it was fucking weird man.

#30 Edited by RE_Player1 (7549 posts) -

I worked as an amusement park this summer as a games guy. I had a guy spend $20 at the game I was at that day and after losing for the fourth time he pulled a knife out in frustration and cut one of the huge display prizess and said that he'd kill me. He was then escorted out of the park.

#31 Posted by NlGHTCRAWLER (1215 posts) -

I worked as a waiter/cook/dish washer/cashier last year in this small vegan restaurant in Silver Lake. I basically worked alone everyday, all day doing everything. For those of you who don't know, Silver Lake is a very strange neighborhood in Los Angeles. It's near Hollywood and Downtown LA, and it's Hipster galore.

So one night before i'm about to close up, my boss calls and tells me to stay a couple more hours because she was going to bring some guests to the restaurant for dinner. I didn't argue because I was going through some personal issues at home and I dreaded going back that night so I accepted. I could have closed the place down to the public, but I was bored and was interested in the crowd that might come in. My boss always had me close before nightfall because supposedly all the weirdos come out at night. So i'm sitting there waiting for people to come in and sure enough I get a group of guys of about 3 or 4. They were a little drunk, but they were paying customers so I rang them up and started cooking. This is where it gets weird/scary. One of the guys jumped over the counter and followed me into the kitchen. When I noticed him I froze. He then walked up to me and just kissed me. Open mouth and everything. I was scared shitless and didn't know what to do. After a few seconds the guy jumped back over the counter and left with his friends. I closed the place up after that and sat alone until my boss came.

A few days later the same guy came in and threatened to follow me home and kill me after I rejected his advances. I quit the next day and never went back to Silver Lake.

#32 Posted by BombKareshi (996 posts) -

Weird shit happens all the time, man, but a classic thing that happened at my last job was when during a power cut, the backup generators failed, and the bosses were running around blaming the IT department (like it wasn't the maintenance guy's job).

#33 Posted by Video_Game_King (36013 posts) -

That time I walked in on myself naked.

#34 Posted by TheSouthernDandy (3786 posts) -
@Akyho Pretty much everything you wrote was great. GREAT.

I stuck my thumb in a router (power tool) which removed a large chunk of it. Most of the nail and the flesh under it. Also had a table saw fire a piece of wood back at me. It felt like somebody had punched me in the chest as hard as they could.
I guess those aren't really crazy so much as they were painful.
#35 Posted by SSully (4125 posts) -

@dudy80 said:

Used to work at a defense contractor.... When i was laid off i basically had to sign a paper that said i could be charged with treason if i talked about the work we did there. And all i did was work on cables.... The US is really full of its self sometimes.

I am pretty sure its standard procedure for anyone who works there, even the cafe workers. Also this is usually stuff that they tell you before you even work. I worked at a national lab over the summer and the paper work was dense with random tidbits about what I could and couldn't do despite the fact that my work wasn't confidential.

#36 Posted by Ben_H (3311 posts) -
@TheSouthernDandy said:
@Akyho Pretty much everything you wrote was great. GREAT. I stuck my thumb in a router (power tool) which removed a large chunk of it. Most of the nail and the flesh under it. Also had a table saw fire a piece of wood back at me. It felt like somebody had punched me in the chest as hard as they could. I guess those aren't really crazy so much as they were painful.
At my school someone got kickback on a table saw, jumped out of the way, and the board smashed into the garage door about 6 feet behind and put a giant dent in it. That stuff is no joke. Plus the table at my school was at nut level, which made kickback even worse.
#37 Edited by Chop (1994 posts) -

Well about the only thing I can think of is thieves. The best one was some guy who just fucking stole an ass load of Axe... I mean, who steals fucking deodorant? Or the guys who would break open boxes of shrimp and stuff their pockets full of frozen shrimp.

#38 Posted by peachesrcool (75 posts) -

I was working the walmart night shift one summer and the night manager came up to me, put his hand on my shoulder and said "it'll be okay". it was f*cking weird

#39 Edited by TheSouthernDandy (3786 posts) -

@Ben_H said:

@TheSouthernDandy said:
@Akyho Pretty much everything you wrote was great. GREAT. I stuck my thumb in a router (power tool) which removed a large chunk of it. Most of the nail and the flesh under it. Also had a table saw fire a piece of wood back at me. It felt like somebody had punched me in the chest as hard as they could. I guess those aren't really crazy so much as they were painful.
At my school someone got kickback on a table saw, jumped out of the way, and the board smashed into the garage door about 6 feet behind and put a giant dent in it. That stuff is no joke. Plus the table at my school was at nut level, which made kickback even worse.

Yeah man they'll hurt you real bad if you're not careful. The that hit me was a smaller one thank god but the shop I work in has a pretty heavy duty saw. That one would have broken a few ribs I have no doubt. I don't even wanna think about nut damage. *shiver*

@Chop: I kinda wanna meet both those guys. Just to meet em.

#40 Edited by Akyho (1585 posts) -

@TheSouthernDandy said:

@Akyho Pretty much everything you wrote was great. GREAT.

I can go with more.

Same place, and over the period were we had relief managers fill in due to having two people off ill or on holiday.

I got this woman called Mary, short older and was a Manager for a city store. Over all it was a shitty day, not because of her it just was one of those day.

I was told we had two people collecting stuff from the back, one was a butterfly table (One of those tables that folds up like a butterfly.....) and the other was a picnic table.

Big difference in size and function. I got one person at the back, I read one of the names on the boxes and said " are you *******" they said yes. So I proceeded to give them the whole in a box butterfly table. They did remark "Its smaller that what I was told. I was told several large boxes. oh well." I should have caught on.

The other person comes and is ready for a smallish box...but get several large boxes.

While I am on my lunch I start to put 2 and 2 together... I GAVE THEM THE WRONG TABLES!!

I confessed this to Mary and she gave out a sigh and said "we just need to wait until they come back with them." ....three months later I left the place....no one ever...EVER came back. I like to imagine someone is sitting in their living room with a giant picnic table.

Back to the same day. Mary goes for her lunch that I got her. I was to then to deliver a display butterfly table to the car park round the corner as I gave the last and right table to the wrong people. So I am wheeling it round and hit some dodgy cobble stone, thing shakes and two of the casters break off and in a non repairable way. So had to sort and smooth things over with the customer.

Marys lunch has gone cold I feel terrible. a hundred small and petty things happen and overall it was horrible.

A week later Angela comes back who was ill with the Gall stone. I tell her what happened while she was away and what a bad day I had last week with Mary.

Her eyes went from concerned to shock to absolute panic. I didn't understand why. She then said "With Mary? From Glasgow shop," I said yeah.

"Mary!? who is short greyish hair. Glasses around her neck....." I said Yeah exactly...

"She didn't shout at your or throw things at you?" I was shocked and went What no!? why? she was a dream.....

It turns out she has had a few disciplinary for abusing staff since she has a VERY short temper. I was then told horror stories caused by not all that bad events that pale to what I did. I freaked out and panicked that I dodged that bullet....somehow.

Gareth as I have said already was another trainee with me. During having other Manager cover and help out, our most frequent was Randall. An old man with grey hair and bushy mustache. His visits overlapped Angela getting back and Adam taking his holidays.

Randall was known to be pretty useless at everything. Why he was still a Manager I dont know. We had to stay behind for cashing up which we shut as 5:30pm with Randall we never left sometimes till 7pm. I have cashed up since and haven't taken that long.

So while waiting for the last half hour to pass by Angela starts asking some weird questions about Randall. Such as "Randall hasn't been...funny with either of you?"

I replied "He is forever joking? "

"No no...has he done anything funny?"

Right now I am thinking and shaking my head. "Nop..."

Gareth Pipes up. "Hes pinches my nipples..." My reaction in purely face is WHAT!?! WHEN!! NO!!! you are lying! he then said "And gropes my ass." I am in complete Your talking nonsense mode....then Angela shakes her head and goes "Yeah he does that." WHAT!!!?!?!?!!? She then said "You need to tell disciplinary, he does it all the time with young boys. Been pulled up several times."

I am in utter shock. "He never did anything the likes with me! Ive got bigger tits than him!!" (It was an empty store and I was chubby) She then says "Maybe your not his type..."

I shout "I am fucking thankful I am not! Bit pissed I am rejected, but thankful I wasn't molested!"

#41 Posted by TheSouthernDandy (3786 posts) -

@Akyho: hahaha oh man. Your life should be a sitcom.

#42 Edited by Akyho (1585 posts) -

@TheSouthernDandy said:

@Akyho: hahaha oh man. Your life should be a sitcom.

I more so think people have a shit way of telling things.

Just some very short ones.

Worked in a Charity shop. An old man went into the changing rooms and shit on the floor and left.....

I was handed a bag of donations. put it aside. Few hours later got time to sort it out....It was a bag of second hand.....Sex toys. One was a Rabbit vibrator. My female manager Jackie took a sly look around the shop gave a good look switched it on and was memorized by it.....while...I was throwing out the specification of it...before I relazed what I was saying.

We got a stack of porn mags. Hardcore American stuff from Seymour Butts and his editions of Buttman...they left building that night. I enjoy the articles.

#43 Posted by nintendoeats (5975 posts) -

Back when I was a cart-pusher, I once walked past the exit doors of our store. approximately half a second afterwards the glass exploded. I turned around and what did I find but a deer that had come barreling through the door and straight into a cash register.

I think that as crazy things go that's pretty high on the list.

#44 Posted by Arkkazeal (109 posts) -

Working at a call center for cell phone customer service. I had either a crazy old guy call in or a very elaborate prank call.

Starts off with him asking my name and then getting confused thinking that I'm his grandson's friend and that he has to hang up and call his phone provider. After spending about 5 minutes convincing him I'm not his grandson's friend I am finally able to get his account info to try and help him out, wanted to know about his texts he used. Starts off normal with how many he sent out and when but then goes on to mention seeing some pornographic images on his phone. Keeps pressing about what I see on his usage saying "Don't be shy boy I was in the military you can tell me what you see there." I have to tell him that he doesn't have any picture messages included so its just text that was sent. He then goes on a long conversation about catching his grandson looking up Asian pornography and going back to saying I'm his grandson's friend just covering for him saying that nothing bad was sent out. The guy keeps up and starts going on about percentages of men that view porn and asking me if that's normal or not and if i do or not. After about 20 minutes of him going on like that and me just trying my hardest not to crack up every time he blurts out the word "vagina", I just let him know that if he doesn't any questions on his account that i'll have to release the call, he asks to speak to my supervisor then and I just hang up on him.

#45 Posted by StarvingGamer (8000 posts) -

Just seeing various celebrities come in. Notable ones include Abed from Community, Ed Helms, Larry Wilmore, the lady that played Wilson's ex-wife in House, Alex Winter, Diane Keaton, Ben from Parks & Rec, and the guy that plays the young version of the Dos Equis guy.

Oh also saw Steve-O come in twice. All the female employees freaked out both times (wtf?) and he looked genuinely perplexed when I helped him and not only asked him to pay, but in no way acknowledged that I recognized him.

Online
#46 Posted by Socialone (202 posts) -

My elderly manager baked me a huge cake for my birthday even though I had been working there for less than three months. I then realized they usually hired 16 years old morons so they liked me quite a bit.

#47 Posted by GERALTITUDE (2926 posts) -

Had to kick some heroin addicts off the roof once. That was weird.

#48 Posted by forkboy (1116 posts) -

I used to work for an IT company who get lots of outsourced support contracts with various large organisations around the world. Most of my time there I was on the Out of Hours team so we covered for about 80-100 clients, although only about 20 would regularly contact us in any given month. One was a reasonably large London Borough Council who I won't name who had recently changed the system they used for compiling parking ticket data collected by their officers from an old but efficient Unix based system to a new system which probably cost the tax payer a terrifyingly large sum of cash. And it was hopelessly unreliable. Because every night, without fail, the poor souls in London who were transferring the data from the new handheld devices that the people in the street would use onto the system so that fines could be processed & sent on to the "customer" would call us, usually some point between 7 & 9pm as the system had fallen over. Literally every night. And it went on for months & months, & months turned into a couple of years of the clusterfuck. And every night we'd have to call the really nice guy who looked after the system for the third party who I fortunately have erased the name of, interrupt his time with his kids so he could do his thing. And then we'd copy paste all the details from our calling logging system to him just so he'd get all the info he'd need. The old setup? They'd call to log a fault out of hours maybe 15-20 times a year.

Anyway one night, my last 13 hour shift, (pattern I worked would be 4 nights on, 5 off then Saturday & Sunday dayshifts, Monday Tuesday Wednesday nights & 7 off. Going from finishing work at 6pm Sunday & then having to not start again until 6pm Monday was always a bit of a bitch, but that time off made it worthwhile) I was dealing with this among the usual stuff, pretty tired at the end of 5 long shifts, get the call from this council employee, took down the details & absent mindedly wrote a little rant in the details. "X Council are fucking morons" being one key phrase that I quite vividly remember. This wasn't unusual, you'd just remove this before saving it all.

Anyway, eventually the shift ends, get 7 days off, total bliss. Come back in only to be taken aside by my team leader who tells me that I forgot to remove it. And copied it into the Call History which can't be edited, unlike the call details. And sent it onto the lovely support guy who dealt with the lousy software.

Now that I did something really fucking stupid isn't the crazy part, the crazy part to me is that my team leader went out to bat to me despite my stupidity. The Chief Executive of this London council wanted my blood, he was absolutely seething. The contract was worth well over £200m over a 10 year period to my then-employer. And I basically called this Chief Executive & the people in charge of installing this new software/hardware system fucking morons. But my boss, fucking terrific guy, insisted I was an important cog in his team, with several years of experience, a more or less flawless record who made a mistake. I ended up with a formal warning, & was taken off that particular client & never received their calls on my phone ID. But I didn't lose my job & got to stay working Out of Hours because my team leader thought to stand up to me, against his own boss, & their boss, & the client. I mean that really made an impact for me. He was a solid, solid guy. And fucking hilarious to boot.

Well, it's crazy to me anyway.

#49 Posted by villainy (538 posts) -
Another day at the office

That would be the robot brought in by the bomb squad to remove a "suspicious" package left under the mail box across the street from my office. They blew it up with a smaller charge a bit later. The windows and glass door were still there, I don't think it was actually a bomb. Had a new mail carrier for a good while after that. I'm sure it took our original one quite some time to get their pants properly cleaned.

Sorry for the big pic but that robot is seriously cool. Didn't want to mangle it too much more. Have fun at work everybody!

#50 Posted by beeftothetaco (420 posts) -

@Akyho: What?