The life challenges ahead.

Well, here I am posting another blog! My other blog described that I am making the attempt to be strong, live, mature, hold on to love and gain freedom. This blog will describe the upcoming challenges that I either face temporarily or the rest of my life. If you’re interested in reading what I want to say, keep reading!

My worst nightmare is to lose my mom or my pets because of something that I have done or could have done. When we moved to our new neighborhood here in beautiful Tennessee, little did we realize that we moved into a rural rough neighborhood. Within a couple of weeks, we found out through a neighbor that there are massive drug deals and some shootings (because of drugs) further down the street mom and I now live on. Even though we live the safer part of the neighborhood, we must have loaded guns in each room and a security system for protection. We also are able to clearly see where the deals are made from our house, which really is disturbing. Our strategy is to pretend that we don’t pay attention and move on. Don’t make eye contact, don’t stare, and don’t call the police because they are the ones that make the situation worse. In other words, we are to keep to ourselves and speak to no one. We no longer live in a neighborhood to where we can feel safe to step out of the house at night and even the day! I no longer feel safe in my own home, because you never know who might break in. We do wish that we investigated the area more, but it’s a mistake that we have to live with for a very long time. The upcoming challenge is that if crime gets really bad here, if our house is shot at, if we are robbed, or anything else imaginable, will I be able to handle it? My mom can for sure, but when it comes to me… I’m not sure if she’ll be ok if I’m not. The truth is, I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it… because I’ve always been used to living in safe neighborhoods and around richer homes (Our house is always the turd in the punch bowl). Now that we are living in a strange neighborhood where we know absolutely no one, will my mom and I be ok? I no longer feel safe around anyone or living here anymore, but maybe I'm over reacting. I can only pray for comfort of mind, and for the safety of mom and I as well as our dogs.

The other upcoming challenge is living close to a more populated area. I don’t mind being around easily accessible stores and whatnot, but my main concern is driving. I’ve never had to practice driving in a place with so many cars! There are more than 15,000 people here, compared to only 4 to 5 thousand in Virginia! My eye sight isn’t the greatest as I am blind in one eye, and I do not have depth perception! So, I hope that I can pass the driver’s test, and never wreck afterwards or before!

My mom always told me that she regretted not ever letting me get a part time job somewhere to learn about the “real world”, because she says I sass and talk back to her too much. I’ve often wondered what life would be like after college. I’ve been in school for a long time, and I’m 23 now. I have no job experience, and getting a job will be a nerve wracking experience for me as I do not know what it’s like. Part of me agrees with her, and part of me doesn’t. I agree because of the experience issue, and I disagree because of the doing the best I can with school issue. I’m sure it’s just about the same for everyone who is nervous with their very first job, but everything is happening to me so quick… I want to learn, but that doesn’t mean I will. My challenge is to overcome the fear, and say yes I can do whatever I set my mind to; however, this challenge isn’t something that can be fixed overnight as it needs to happen first. I'll continue to worry about jobs until it happens, then might laugh about it afterward... then again maybe not. I could never talk to anyone about this situation, but maybe I'll get some insight from one of you good members of GB.

Mom has told me that once I can be self sufficient, she’ll leave me. Thing is I don’t want her to leave, because I know I can’t live on my own. She tells me that she thinks that she is a hindrance to me from growing up and she’ll die anyways, but I try to tell her that she isn’t the problem. The problem is myself, as I am my own worst enemy. I cannot tell her that I don’t want to find love (a romantic relationship) because she does not believe me no matter how many times I try to mention it to her. I am my own hindrance, because I don’t want to be alone, but I’ll end up being alone because my sick head. This challenge is what will I do if I live alone? We all may find out if I’m still around here on GB!! Anyways, tough love from my mom may be what I need, but who really knows? I may need to suck it up, and perhaps look for someone! (I cannot believe I said that, and I don’t ever want to do that again! It’s sickening to me to think about that!!) I need to desperately think about where I’ll be in 5 years, because I just don’t see the possible future.

No matter what challenges may come, I have to be ready… even if I doubt that I can face those challenges... whether I can make it or not. It’s normal for an alien to have doubts too like a human. =-P My mom only wants best for me, and does the best she can… though she does try too hard like all moms seem to do, and she’s mean and pushy as all hell. So much has happened this year, and it’s all hard to take in. I still haven’t even yet touched the tip of the ice burg of all that’s happened this year, but I mainly mentioned the highlights here in this and the other blog.

Feel free to share your comments, thoughts, and perhaps challenges you're going through, thanks for reading this extra addition of personal crap about me, and until next time!

Yours truly,

Tyler

I still have that infamous appreciation for beautiful music coming from strange places!

Well, here I am posting another blog! My other blog described that I am making the attempt to be strong, live, mature, hold on to love and gain freedom. This blog will describe the upcoming challenges that I either face temporarily or the rest of my life. If you’re interested in reading what I want to say, keep reading!

My worst nightmare is to lose my mom or my pets because of something that I have done or could have done. When we moved to our new neighborhood here in beautiful Tennessee, little did we realize that we moved into a rural rough neighborhood. Within a couple of weeks, we found out through a neighbor that there are massive drug deals and some shootings (because of drugs) further down the street mom and I now live on. Even though we live the safer part of the neighborhood, we must have loaded guns in each room and a security system for protection. We also are able to clearly see where the deals are made from our house, which really is disturbing. Our strategy is to pretend that we don’t pay attention and move on. Don’t make eye contact, don’t stare, and don’t call the police because they are the ones that make the situation worse. In other words, we are to keep to ourselves and speak to no one. We no longer live in a neighborhood to where we can feel safe to step out of the house at night and even the day! I no longer feel safe in my own home, because you never know who might break in. We do wish that we investigated the area more, but it’s a mistake that we have to live with for a very long time. The upcoming challenge is that if crime gets really bad here, if our house is shot at, if we are robbed, or anything else imaginable, will I be able to handle it? My mom can for sure, but when it comes to me… I’m not sure if she’ll be ok if I’m not. The truth is, I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it… because I’ve always been used to living in safe neighborhoods and around richer homes (Our house is always the turd in the punch bowl). Now that we are living in a strange neighborhood where we know absolutely no one, will my mom and I be ok? I no longer feel safe around anyone or living here anymore, but maybe I'm over reacting. I can only pray for comfort of mind, and for the safety of mom and I as well as our dogs.

The other upcoming challenge is living close to a more populated area. I don’t mind being around easily accessible stores and whatnot, but my main concern is driving. I’ve never had to practice driving in a place with so many cars! There are more than 15,000 people here, compared to only 4 to 5 thousand in Virginia! My eye sight isn’t the greatest as I am blind in one eye, and I do not have depth perception! So, I hope that I can pass the driver’s test, and never wreck afterwards or before!

My mom always told me that she regretted not ever letting me get a part time job somewhere to learn about the “real world”, because she says I sass and talk back to her too much. I’ve often wondered what life would be like after college. I’ve been in school for a long time, and I’m 23 now. I have no job experience, and getting a job will be a nerve wracking experience for me as I do not know what it’s like. Part of me agrees with her, and part of me doesn’t. I agree because of the experience issue, and I disagree because of the doing the best I can with school issue. I’m sure it’s just about the same for everyone who is nervous with their very first job, but everything is happening to me so quick… I want to learn, but that doesn’t mean I will. My challenge is to overcome the fear, and say yes I can do whatever I set my mind to; however, this challenge isn’t something that can be fixed overnight as it needs to happen first. I'll continue to worry about jobs until it happens, then might laugh about it afterward... then again maybe not. I could never talk to anyone about this situation, but maybe I'll get some insight from one of you good members of GB.

Mom has told me that once I can be self sufficient, she’ll leave me. Thing is I don’t want her to leave, because I know I can’t live on my own. She tells me that she thinks that she is a hindrance to me from growing up and she’ll die anyways, but I try to tell her that she isn’t the problem. The problem is myself, as I am my own worst enemy. I cannot tell her that I don’t want to find love (a romantic relationship) because she does not believe me no matter how many times I try to mention it to her. I am my own hindrance, because I don’t want to be alone, but I’ll end up being alone because my sick head. This challenge is what will I do if I live alone? We all may find out if I’m still around here on GB!! Anyways, tough love from my mom may be what I need, but who really knows? I may need to suck it up, and perhaps look for someone! (I cannot believe I said that, and I don’t ever want to do that again! It’s sickening to me to think about that!!) I need to desperately think about where I’ll be in 5 years, because I just don’t see the possible future.

No matter what challenges may come, I have to be ready… even if I doubt that I can face those challenges... whether I can make it or not. It’s normal for an alien to have doubts too like a human. =-P My mom only wants best for me, and does the best she can… though she does try too hard like all moms seem to do, and she’s mean and pushy as all hell. So much has happened this year, and it’s all hard to take in. I still haven’t even yet touched the tip of the ice burg of all that’s happened this year, but I mainly mentioned the highlights here in this and the other blog.

Feel free to share your comments, thoughts, and perhaps challenges you're going through, thanks for reading this extra addition of personal crap about me, and until next time!

Yours truly,

Tyler

I still have that infamous appreciation for beautiful music coming from strange places!

I imagine you looking something like this in ten years:

On the subject of driving, I also have one eye that isn't as good as the other but I have no problems driving. I'm not going to sit here and say that it's not a potentially difficult thing to do, but it never has been for me. That experience varies greatly, though, but unless your eyesight is a whole lot worse than mine, don't sweat driving to much. It's more about paying attention than it is anything else, and if you can do that then you can drive. You don't even have to memorize directions anymore if you buy a GPS.

yar man driving aint all that bad infact some studies suggest video game players are better skilled drivers due to their visual skills. http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2003/05/0528_030528_videogames.html

Go and get a job NOW. That is all.

@believer258 said:

I imagine you looking something like this in ten years:

On the subject of driving, I also have one eye that isn't as good as the other but I have no problems driving. I'm not going to sit here and say that it's not a potentially difficult thing to do, but it never has been for me. That experience varies greatly, though, but unless your eyesight is a whole lot worse than mine, don't sweat driving to much. It's more about paying attention than it is anything else, and if you can do that then you can drive. You don't even have to memorize directions anymore if you buy a GPS.

I'm having a tough time with driving, but I'll get it. A new problem that arose just today was that in bright daylight, I cannot see a turn signal too well... and my mother seen it clearly. I turn far too sharply, and I go too fast when turning off. I also still have a tough time backing up and parking. I have an iphone that tells me directions. Judging turns, keeping eyes on the road, glancing at mirrors, and backing up is my main problem. I do great on the highway, but I do terrible when it comes to crowded town driving. I'm having a difficult time, but again... I'll get it.

@VisariLoyalist said:

yar man driving aint all that bad infact some studies suggest video game players are better skilled drivers due to their visual skills. http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2003/05/0528_030528_videogames.html

Games have prepared me to drive, however, games hasn't required me to glance in mirrors. In games, I wreck alot... so I may defy that study. =-P

@McGhee said:

Go and get a job NOW. That is all.

Trust me, I'll get a job. I want to get my education and drive first before I get one. I want to have some sort of pride in myself when I apply for jobs, because when I tell people that I only have a learners permit, they come back at me with "Well, you should be able to drive by now and have a licence, and yet you are aiming for a Bachelor's degree and cannot drive! Something wrong there." As I said, I want some sort of pride in myself to where I can have a licence before I get a job. So now isn't the answer.

@Tireyo643: I'm with McGhee. Get the license and then immediately the job afterwards. If your mom wants to bounce on you once she considers you "self-sufficient," you want as much job experience before that as possible.

@Little_Socrates said:

@Tireyo643: I'm with McGhee. Get the license and then immediately the job afterwards. If your mom wants to bounce on you once she considers you "self-sufficient," you want as much job experience before that as possible.

Education is always first before anything else though. Currently, I'm dealing with a really tough and demanding class that requires a lot of hours that wouldn't allow me time to have a job. So there is work to do before a job is ever considered, but in the mean time... I'm getting schooled in everything at the moment and that includes driving!

@Tireyo643 said:

@believer258 said:

I imagine you looking something like this in ten years:

On the subject of driving, I also have one eye that isn't as good as the other but I have no problems driving. I'm not going to sit here and say that it's not a potentially difficult thing to do, but it never has been for me. That experience varies greatly, though, but unless your eyesight is a whole lot worse than mine, don't sweat driving to much. It's more about paying attention than it is anything else, and if you can do that then you can drive. You don't even have to memorize directions anymore if you buy a GPS.

I'm having a tough time with driving, but I'll get it. A new problem that arose just today was that in bright daylight, I cannot see a turn signal too well... and my mother seen it clearly. I turn far too sharply, and I go too fast when turning off. I also still have a tough time backing up and parking. I have an iphone that tells me directions. Judging turns, keeping eyes on the road, glancing at mirrors, and backing up is my main problem. I do great on the highway, but I do terrible when it comes to crowded town driving. I'm having a difficult time, but again... I'll get it.

@VisariLoyalist said:

yar man driving aint all that bad infact some studies suggest video game players are better skilled drivers due to their visual skills. http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2003/05/0528_030528_videogames.html

Games have prepared me to drive, however, games hasn't required me to glance in mirrors. In games, I wreck alot... so I may defy that study. =-P

@McGhee said:

Go and get a job NOW. That is all.

Trust me, I'll get a job. I want to get my education and drive first before I get one. I want to have some sort of pride in myself when I apply for jobs, because when I tell people that I only have a learners permit, they come back at me with "Well, you should be able to drive by now and have a licence, and yet you are aiming for a Bachelor's degree and cannot drive! Something wrong there." As I said, I want some sort of pride in myself to where I can have a licence before I get a job. So now isn't the answer.

People hiring for entry level jobs do not give a shit if you have a drivers license or a permit. All they want is someone that can show up on time and not be a complete idiot. "Somethings wrong here?" Down the line something is going to be REALLY wrong when you are as old as you will be and have ZERO work experience. Go work at a fast food place. They are always hiring.

@McGhee said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@believer258 said:

I imagine you looking something like this in ten years:

On the subject of driving, I also have one eye that isn't as good as the other but I have no problems driving. I'm not going to sit here and say that it's not a potentially difficult thing to do, but it never has been for me. That experience varies greatly, though, but unless your eyesight is a whole lot worse than mine, don't sweat driving to much. It's more about paying attention than it is anything else, and if you can do that then you can drive. You don't even have to memorize directions anymore if you buy a GPS.

I'm having a tough time with driving, but I'll get it. A new problem that arose just today was that in bright daylight, I cannot see a turn signal too well... and my mother seen it clearly. I turn far too sharply, and I go too fast when turning off. I also still have a tough time backing up and parking. I have an iphone that tells me directions. Judging turns, keeping eyes on the road, glancing at mirrors, and backing up is my main problem. I do great on the highway, but I do terrible when it comes to crowded town driving. I'm having a difficult time, but again... I'll get it.

@VisariLoyalist said:

yar man driving aint all that bad infact some studies suggest video game players are better skilled drivers due to their visual skills. http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2003/05/0528_030528_videogames.html

Games have prepared me to drive, however, games hasn't required me to glance in mirrors. In games, I wreck alot... so I may defy that study. =-P

@McGhee said:

Go and get a job NOW. That is all.

Trust me, I'll get a job. I want to get my education and drive first before I get one. I want to have some sort of pride in myself when I apply for jobs, because when I tell people that I only have a learners permit, they come back at me with "Well, you should be able to drive by now and have a licence, and yet you are aiming for a Bachelor's degree and cannot drive! Something wrong there." As I said, I want some sort of pride in myself to where I can have a licence before I get a job. So now isn't the answer.

People hiring for entry level jobs do not give a shit if you have a drivers license or a permit. All they want is someone that can show up on time and not be a complete idiot. "Somethings wrong here?" Down the line something is going to be REALLY wrong when you are as old as you will be and have ZERO work experience. Go work at a fast food place. They are always hiring.

I concur with McGhee. You really need a job; don't expect to be able to jump straight from never working into a good-paying job. If you can get reliable transportation, then someone will hire you. If you can't get reliable transportation, make some good friends.

You don't get pride in yourself by sitting around. That's an excuse to keep sitting around.

I disagree with the sentiment going on in here. Your education comes before all else. You need to make sure you can get through it without the time consumption/distraction that comes with having to work. Most likely at a job you won't be happy doing. Get your education and find a job it applies to. Don't do something you're not happy with -- you know you've been depressed before. Working at a job you don't care for could bring all that shit back.

@CaLe said:

I disagree with the sentiment going on in here. Your education comes before all else. You need to make sure you can get through it without the time consumption/distraction that comes with having to work. Most likely at a job you won't be happy doing. Get your education and find a job it applies to. Don't do something you're not happy with -- you know you've been depressed before. Working at a job you don't care for could bring all that shit back.

Looks like someone agrees with me!

@McGhee: @believer258: Trust me, I'm doing everything but sitting around. I do college work each and everyday, and learning accounting in only 5 short weeks isn't a picnic as the work is massive and very timely. Keeping on with the education is my best choice before considering anything else, because I've come too far to stop. Like CaLe said, I do not need the distraction because of this. Along with getting this education, I'm learning how to drive so I won't ever have to worry about being late for a job in the future, cause that's what it would come to if I couldn't drive. I cannot rely on my mom to take me or ride with me each and every time to work because she is sick again with the cancer... and knowing absolutely no one in my new town doesn't help either. I must learn anyways how to drive, and I'm having a very difficult time with it. It's a stressful process, and I will always have concerns about things, because it's the way I am sadly. These are challenges that I have to deal with, whether I can deal with them or not. I know that zero work experience is going to hurt me, but the thing is... companies are willing to train and mold anyone with a bachelors in business administration degree, because they know you've spent the money to get it. It's sadly nothing but a big money game, because I'm going to have to pay off a student loan before long... but maybe I'll have more of a chance of doing something I like that will pay that off quicker than later. It's no fun being in debt.

Maybe if I'm still around, I'll let everyone know how everything goes with all this.

Feel free to share a challenge or two that you all are going through, so I don't feel like the only one left out here... cause it sort of makes me feel like I'm the only one here with problems. Remember that there are no obligations, so call now! =-P Ok, no obligations... and no you don't have to call now. LOL.

Don't have much to comment on, but I enjoy reading your blogs, keep doin' em' dude.

@Sploder said:

Don't have much to comment on, but I enjoy reading your blogs, keep doin' em' dude.

Well thank you!!