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#51 Posted by ShadowConqueror (3067 posts) -

But I have a sexy learning disorder.

#52 Posted by Three0neFive (2297 posts) -

punch her in the eye then cum in her hair, they love that shit

#53 Posted by Tim_the_Corsair (3065 posts) -

Sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship, but bad sex/no sex is an indicator of something important being wrong with your relationship.

Establish trust and truthfulness from the beginning. My fiancée and I tell each other immediately when we have an issue of any kind, whether it be having the shits over one of us not doing the dishes, through to having a crush on someone, or major fights. We talk, we yell, we cry, we stab each other with rusty forks, but by the time we go to bed that night, it is resolved and we have made up.

So essentially, never, EVER go to bed angry. It kills relationships.

Oh, and going back to the first point, if she doesn't want to have sex with you, the problem generally isn't solely hers. Look at yourself: are you romantic, are you spontaneous, are you giving? Most women, in my experience (and contrary to popular belief by some people) love having sex and want to have sex, so there will be underlying reasons if they aren't.

Oh, and do things to spice it up. If you're throwing a leg over and grunting for 30 seconds before going to sleep, you are doing it wrong. Both of you need to be a bit kinky occasionally, it'll serve you well.

There, get those platitudes up ya!

#54 Posted by Hero_Swe (1175 posts) -

Soon we will have so many platitudes (whatever those are) That the Giantbomb X-Treme advice dating line will be ANTIQUATED

#55 Posted by MikeGosot (3227 posts) -
@NekuSakuraba said:

@MikeGosot said:

It took that long?

The fuck is wrong with you guys now-a-days?

Back in my day, that would of been the first thing posted in this thread!

Not my fault, i took some time before i saw this thread.
#56 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

@MikeGosot said:

@NekuSakuraba said:

@MikeGosot said:

It took that long?

The fuck is wrong with you guys now-a-days?

Back in my day, that would of been the first thing posted in this thread!

Not my fault, i took some time before i saw this thread.

Just like you took some time before you saw that reply?

#57 Posted by AndrewBeardsley (371 posts) -

@MikeGosot: damn you....damn you sir.

I was about to post this

#58 Posted by dudeglove (8022 posts) -

honk her nose

#59 Posted by RoboRobb (1052 posts) -

Start a rap crew, she'll go 'nanas

#60 Posted by MikeGosot (3227 posts) -
@Video_Game_King: Well, i not even used the PC for some time, so yeah. It took some time for me to reply to that... Reply.
#61 Posted by Bruce (5264 posts) -

Here's my advice: don't ever move in with a girl.

#62 Posted by thevigilanteoflove (507 posts) -

Okay. Here is the only honest relationship advice I will probably ever give on Giant Bomb. Just be yourself, and be with somebody who you can be yourself around, if the self that you're being is good.

#63 Posted by ThatFrood (3377 posts) -

@will_leisure said:

It's like looking at a poster of a cat with "Hang in there" on it. I would be like, "Whatever, cat."

This imaginary conversation with a motivational poster is really funny to me. I've actually played out a longer version of it in my head now. Good stuff.

#64 Posted by Hero_Swe (1175 posts) -

@thevigilanteoflove said:

Okay. Here is the only honest relationship advice I will probably ever give on Giant Bomb. Just be yourself, and be with somebody who you can be yourself around, if the self that you're being is good.

Already had that platitude, MORE PLATITUDES PEOPLE!

#65 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

@Hero_Swe said:

Already had that platitude, MORE PLATITUDES PEOPLE!

Is "don't enter relationships" good enough? They start wars, you know.

#66 Posted by Wrighteous86 (3820 posts) -
#67 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

@Wrighteous86:

It could be interpreted as such. After all, if the problem is "I can't find a date", then being yourself is probably meaningless, since being yourself hasn't led you to any dates now.

#68 Posted by Wrighteous86 (3820 posts) -

@Video_Game_King: Also, people and situations are so complex and nuanced that just saying "touch her", or "smile", or "mimic her motions" do little when compared to actually connecting with them as a person, and making yourself attractive to them.

#69 Posted by clumsyninja1 (817 posts) -

Don't be clingy, be confident not arrogant , be polite and mannered.

#70 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

@Wrighteous86 said:

@Video_Game_King: Also, people and situations are so complex and nuanced that just saying "touch her", or "smile", or "mimic her motions" do little when compared to actually connecting with them as a person, and making yourself attractive to them.

I don't know; girls like it when you touch them.

#71 Posted by wjb (1676 posts) -

@ThatFrood said:

@will_leisure said:

It's like looking at a poster of a cat with "Hang in there" on it. I would be like, "Whatever, cat."

This imaginary conversation with a motivational poster is really funny to me. I've actually played out a longer version of it in my head now. Good stuff.

Oh good, that was what I was going for. I'm glad.

I have some advice, in all seriousness:

If you are in middle school, high school, or even college, fuck up. Not on purpose, but fucking up is the only way anyone is ever going to learn anything about themselves, and any point within that time-frame is more acceptable than any time afterward. The sooner, the better. Totally humble-bragging here, but fucking up made me go from being a 17-year-old spazz that couldn't interact with a female to save his life to someone that at least kind of knows what he's doing (or at least pretends he does) and manages to have moderate success with women as an adult. When you're a teenager or even someone in their early 20's, it doesn't really matter anyway, so when things go to shit, come away from the experience with some knowledge about yourself that you didn't have before. Those learning experiences are imperative to your future well-being, otherwise you're just some asshole that's 35 and still resents women because some girl that wasn't even that special to begin with dumped you when you were 20, and you never bother to understand why she dumped you (you smothered her, probably; stop smothering people, dummy!).

Not to be mean (not totally, anyway; trying to be constructive and helpful), but from my perspective, anyone that asks for advice from complete strangers online are people that fucked up and do not have the mental/emotional capacity to make things right, or they don't even have the privilege of fucking up in the first place. The goal shouldn't be "how can I win her back?" or "how can I get her to notice me?", but "how can I stop hopelessly asking for advice from assholes like will_leisure on a video game site?" More than likely, you cannot succeed with the first two because even asking those questions in the first place probably means you're shit out of luck, but the third is something you personally can accomplish.

With all the advice in the world and all the self-help books and even that weirdo reality show dude with the eyeliner and poofy hat in the your corner, none of that will make things 100% better. Telling a teenager to "be themselves" is like telling me to stop eating so many hot dogs (hint: I like hot dogs) (also: good analogy, bro). The only way from them to know and understand that concept is when they grow older and realize -- on their own -- that being "cool" isn't cool anymore. And sometimes the only way to have an awesome relationship with a wonderful woman is to experience a few (hopefully) wonderful girls when you are young and learn why those relationships didn't work out.

Basically, you're going to fuck up anyway, so instead of forcing something that wasn't there and probably wasn't worth it, accept it and move on.

Also, I'm told touching her shoulder works.

#72 Posted by Wrighteous86 (3820 posts) -

People seem to misunderstand my platitude definition. I wasn't talking about . I was saying that this thread is trite and meaningless. People will start their own threads because they don't want meaningless quotes and morals. They want specific advice for their specific situation.

#73 Posted by Still_I_Cry (2494 posts) -

Live and learn.

#74 Posted by Hero_Swe (1175 posts) -

Escape from the City

#75 Posted by Danniku (16 posts) -
@Still_I_Cry said:

Live and learn

 
  FOLLOW ME, or else you'll still be trapped in THIS MACHINE.