The stupidest/weirdest person/conversation you've ever met/had.

Hey guys
 
Simple, describe those awkward or dumb moments you've had when picking up the phone or walking into a random person (or any other case).
 
Mine would probably be that time I was at the gym, and, out of nowhere, this lady (probably around her forties) working out next to me, starts talking to me about how much women suffer when they have their period. She just kept talking and talking until she really got on my last nerve and made act kind of like a douchebag with her. 
 
NOTE: It doesn't need to be necessarily a conversation, it might be any kind of situation.
 
Cheers.
P.S. Sorry for so many / in the title, but I tried to keep it as short as possible.

forties not fortys.

Probobly the time that me and my family ended up eating dinner next to George Carlin, and he and my dad got into a conversation about abortion. I was 9 years old.... actually that was pretty awesome.

" forties not fortys. "

I was in an elevator in the Weston in Pittsburgh and the women riding next to me asked if I was into bondage. Had to ride with her all the way to the 22nd floor

"  Mine would probably be that time I was at the gym, and, out of nowhere, this lady (probably around her forties) working out next to me, starts talking to me about how much women suffer when they have their period. She just kept talking and talking until she really got on my last nerve and made act kind of like a douchebag with her."  

I'd say it was this one time my ex-girlfriend and I were talking about porn. She brought up tentacle hentai. That was a strange, and ultimately eye-opening conversation.

Looking in the mirror.

i have a weird, awkward conversations with everyone.  i have a couple that i'll post. 
 
the last one was i am looking for internship to graduate. i sent a letter and resume to a place. i called them the other day asking if they looked it over and stuff. i said the guy that i was looking for wrong, i was talking to someone asking for garry instead of gerry and she said "o you mean gerry, yeah". i don't think i got the internship there. 
 
another funny one was with my friends. we were playing i think halo or something. i asked how do i change weapons. he said Y, i said because i want to change my weapon. him Y. me:  because i'm out of ammo.  him, no press Y. OOOOOOO thanks.

Nothing memorable.

" In the course of my work I once had a conversation with an elderly woman who's dead son used to run a specialist magazine for ukelele players. She asked me if I wanted a subscription. Needless to say it was not the conversation that I was expecting to have. "

@MisterChief: 
 
Unfortunately not. Doing so would have likely required purchase of a ukelele which in my experience is a domain strictly limited to hipster douchebags.

Most recently was with a friend at uni. I was showing her a picture of Arbie looking particularly grumpy, and from that picture we had a full blown conversation/roleplay of what Arbie was saying and what I would have been saying in return. Then again that doesn't sound pretty weird to me since I act stupid often. 
 
Really can't think of anyone strange I've ever met. Oh! A drunk on a bus once told me all about a councilor she was seeing and how to steal perfume from Boots. She was pretty nice.

There was somebody in one my classes the year before last who was CONVINCED that the person who wrote the short essay that we were studying had multiple personality disorder. It was a funny observation, because the essay was about the different ways we act in different scenarios, but she was still an idiot. Later on I told her that I was an atheist and she asked me what book I used. *eyeroll*

Hah, that's easy.  
Pick anyone 
 
 
 
 
Anyone who laughed gets +1 
Everyone else who got offended, try asking me if I care

i work at a hotel part  time and i think its pretty safe to say that when people are traveling they become clinically retarded. 
 
after one of the first Notre Dame home games this year i got a call at around 9:30pm asking if the gift shop had any "A-Low". 
i was rather perplexed, so i asked him to repeat it. sure enough he said "A-Low" 
i told him that i was sorry but  i don't know what "A-Low" is 
his response was, and i quote "you know, A-Low, like for sunburns" 

Some crazy old lady came up to me and just took my glasses right off my face and promptly started to run off with them. 
Thankfully, she was not very fast. I was able to catch up to her and pry it out of her hands. 
 
Not a word was said during this encounter.

" i have a weird, awkward conversations with everyone.  i have a couple that i'll post.   the last one was i am looking for internship to graduate. i sent a letter and resume to a place. i called them the other day asking if they looked it over and stuff. i said the guy that i was looking for wrong, i was talking to someone asking for garry instead of gerry and she said "o you mean gerry, yeah". i don't think i got the internship there.   another funny one was with my friends. we were playing i think halo or something. i asked how do i change weapons. he said Y, i said because i want to change my weapon. him Y. me:  because i'm out of ammo.  him, no press Y. OOOOOOO thanks. "  

" how to steal perfume from Boots. She was pretty nice. "

" I'd say it was this one time my ex-girlfriend and I were talking about porn. She brought up tentacle hentai. That was a strange, and ultimately eye-opening conversation. "

At a bus station in San Francisco I had a homeless, or at least crazy guy try to get me to come outside with him for like 2 hours.  He kept telling me he had a gun in his jacket, but I never saw one.  He was also telling me how he used to dance for biker gangs when he was younger.

" Hah, that's easy.  
Pick anyone     Anyone who laughed gets +1 Everyone else who got offended, try asking me if I care "

" @ZeForgotten said:

" Hah, that's easy.  
Pick anyone     Anyone who laughed gets +1 Everyone else who got offended, try asking me if I care "

i'm offended greatly and i'm sure you care. if you don't, well.. flagged, bitch. let's see if you care about getting banned.  "

" @AjayRaz said:

" @ZeForgotten said:

" Hah, that's easy.  
Pick anyone     Anyone who laughed gets +1 Everyone else who got offended, try asking me if I care "

i'm offended greatly and i'm sure you care. if you don't, well.. flagged, bitch. let's see if you care about getting banned.  "

Wait, so you flagged me before I let you know if I cared or not? fucking freebies! :P "

" @ZeForgotten said:

" @AjayRaz said:

" @ZeForgotten said:

" Hah, that's easy.  
Pick anyone     Anyone who laughed gets +1 Everyone else who got offended, try asking me if I care "

i'm offended greatly and i'm sure you care. if you don't, well.. flagged, bitch. let's see if you care about getting banned.  "

Wait, so you flagged me before I let you know if I cared or not? fucking freebies! :P "

MY LOGIC IS FLAWED AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA "

" @AjayRaz: Join  my party "

Asking my previous housemate why there's a dissected seagull on my dinner table...
 
Crazy stuff.

I was in the airport waiting for an out of the country flight when this beardy old guy started talking to me. At first I was like wtf, but then I understood he gave really sound advice. Not really about traveling but about life. Things like not giving up your integrity to money, doing something for the love of it not the money. Among other things, he left me with these last words, "you are not  the first one to live in a strange place with strange people, nor the last."

" Probobly the time that me and my family ended up eating dinner next to George Carlin, and he and my dad got into a conversation about abortion. I was 9 years old.... actually that was pretty awesome. "

oops double post.  i'll think of some awkward conversation later.

I was extremely offended after my own stepmother said she'd rather have me date people when I'm age 40 (when I was dating someone a year ago). I asked her why, but she only answered around it. I never forgave her ever since. :(

I know a girl that starts every conversation/text/IM with "Hey you." and she doesn't space her sentences. It's quite annoying for some reason. 
 
"Hey you.hope you're..." 
"Hey you.i'm in town..." 
"Hey you.want to hang..." 
"Hey you.ijust saw..." 
"Hey you.what are you doing..." 
"Hey you." 
 
It just bugs me.

The drunks enjoy talking to me for some reason. This particular drunk was probably also homeless and rather smelly, but he could afford riding the bus and was actually really pleasant. 
 
We talked about my driver's license and somehow ended up talking about technology these days and how far ahead Japan is in many ways when it comes to technology and stuff. I guess it's not that strange of a situation but it sure felt weird at first.  This was a few years back...
 
I can't think of anything else right now but I'm sure I have a few more stories...probably better ones. Let me think on that for a while.

" I was in the airport waiting for an out of the country flight when this beardy old guy started talking to me. At first I was like wtf, but then I understood he gave really sound advice. Not really about traveling but about life. Things like not giving up your integrity to money, doing something for the love of it not the money. Among other things, he left me with these last words, "you are not  the first one to live in a strange place with strange people, nor the last." "

I was hanging out with a friend when his girlfriend came back from work or studies or something and they were both really fucking angry at each other from an argument they had in the morning.
 
I could only handle about ten minutes before I said "let's get the fuck out of here".

When I was maybe age 11 or so, I was sitting on a park bench feeding popcorn to pigeons when some older woman sat down next to me and started carrying on a conversation about how those pigeons were truly blessed that God had sent me to feed them that day.
 
Being a) a pretty shy kid to begin with, b) not particularly religious, and c) utterly terrified of strangers in every capacity, needless to say I was pretty freaked out. I just sat there quietly nodding along and hoping she'd eventually run out of things to say. Finally my parents called and I ran off about as fast as I could. I still remember her pretty frequently, for as much as I avoided eye contact at the time. I wonder if she was completely out of her mind or just an overly friendly Bible-obsessed old lady.
 
Similarly, had someone come up to me at a funeral and ask where I'd moved into town from. I'd just come back from visiting the UK (where all the gay liberals live, apparently) and when I told him that, he immediately responded with "guess we'd better get to you before the democrats do". Laughed it off and quickly made myself scarce. It was a pretty backwards town, to be fair.

I was employed at a RadioShack when television signal was changed from analog to digital. During this time I was required to give a sells pitch for a DTV converter box and do to my pitch I entered a conversation with an elderly gentleman about how the government was brainwashing us and forcing us to give our money to corporations who had made deals with the politicians. After an hour of shadow government conspiracies  he then turned to religion and told me Jesus would save from the government and tried to convert me to Christianity. Needless to say it was hilarious. 

this one time me and my friend were at a football game (at our high school) and 3 9 year olds sat next to us and they were talking about how they didn't even watch football. I don't know how they came to this conclusion but they eventually figured out that you watch football on the nfl channel. So me and my friend got in an argument with them over how:
we said:

• NFL wasn't a channel. ESPN is.
  

• NFL was a channel. and ESPN was a program, just like HBO.