#1 Edited by jerseyscum (888 posts) -

I'm sure some of our misspent youth and possible early adulthood has some events that society and the criminal justice system would frown upon. I'm certain that most of the posters on Giant Bomb were not saints and we can all share our experiences. So the future generations can learn from our mistakes of course.

1. How To Drink Underage: There's always the one liquor store owner that does not give a rat's ass who they sell to. Unfortunately, when the one major option is shuttered and closed by the fucking Hackensack health department, one has to think outside the box. I came up with a relatively intelligent solution, go to Paterson, NJ to pick up cheap booze. I fired up my Honda Civic and made the drive many Bergen county youth typically make. At least when they're either buying cocaine or heroin. I assumed that the local cops were more concerned about actual drug trafficking and the store owners wouldn't give two shits. Turns out I was dead on the money. Aside from the friendly neighborhood crackhead offering to "watch" my car, I managed to purchase a large amount of cheap malt liquor and high-tailed it back to Bergen county. Then I drank some of the Old English and probably attempted to play Battlefield. I also remember giving a few 40's away, because I did have a shitload and nobody likes a miser.

2. My Extremely Brief Foray into Drug Dealing: College kids love Adderal. I was "lucky" enough to have a ADHD diagnosis, which involved getting the much coveted study aid. I didn't like it's effects, it made me paranoid and my insomnia worse. Probably because I was crushing them up and snorting them, but that's a story for another time. I did have the horrible idea of selling off the rest of my prescription so I could buy a 8th of haze from one of the local weed dealers. I only lasted a day selling the pills off before the fact sunk in that I could go to jail for a long time if I got busted. I also knew I didn't want jerkoffs constantly calling my phone 24-hours of the day. Deciding that I didn't need the hassle, I decided to never fucking do it again. This was before the street prices for pills went through the roof, where now I could have made much more.

3. Fun with ground beef: In some misguided attempt to protect the community from vandals on Cabbage Night (the night before Halloween), the goddamn grocery stores stop selling eggs. My friends and I decided to up the ante and toss barely thawed out ground beef all over the neighborhood. We were complete little bastards, so we targeted pretty much everything. We also targeted people, but these were local kids who were throwing eggs to begin with...so fuck em. We did hit a girl in the face, but the group did retaliate and managed to throw an egg through the passenger window and hit the windshield dead bang. At the end of the night, we were getting tired and had to get rid of the rest of the ground beef. I was driving at the time, so I targeted a house at random and parked the car. I took the metal crock pot which was holding the rest of the meat and proceeded to throw the rest of the meat at the poor bastard's door, windows and managed to get a lot on his roof. I then sprinted back to the car and sped off. We were never caught and suffered no consequences for blatant criminal mischief and vandalism.

This is all past the statute of limitations by the way.

#2 Posted by TheHumanDove (2523 posts) -

Hardcore tale, brah

#3 Posted by Ravenlight (8040 posts) -

@jerseyscum said:

This is all past the statue of limitations by the way.

Nice save.

#4 Posted by Morrow (1829 posts) -

I guess my childhood was boring then.

#5 Posted by jerseyscum (888 posts) -

@TheHumanDove said:

Hardcore tale, brah

My group of friends and I were just a bunch of nerds with too much free time on our hands. Nothing more, nothing less.

#6 Posted by BlastProcessing (921 posts) -

My parole officer says its best I don't talk about my illicit acts to strangers.

#7 Posted by Vestigial_Man (311 posts) -

Underage drinking seems so different in America. I knew 14 year old kids whose parents provided vodka for them and their friends on a regular basis. It's a real problem where I live.

#8 Posted by mtcantor (948 posts) -

Man, my childhood was positively tame looking back on it.

Really hardly any underage drinking or drug use. Not out of any morality or fear, just wasn't what we were really doing.

Hardly any vandalism. My friend and I once tried to steal some guy's giant ass sunflower from his front yard and got chased down the street when he saw what we were doing. We were pretty lame high school kids I guess.

The most suburban type crime I was ever part of involved a friend counterfeiting parking passes for the lot in back of our high school. The school only sold passes to juniors and seniors, and only if they showed up really early in the morning on a specific day each month. However, the passes were just a color decal. No numbers or barcodes. So we decided to hit up a color copier and sell passes to those too young or too lazy to get them from the school. Worked for months before my buddy got caught. They actually marched him down to the local chief of police's office to repremand him, but that was mostly it.

#9 Posted by Dexter_Morgan_ (314 posts) -

Mine sucked....


Here. This pretty much sums it up.

#10 Edited by crazyleaves (648 posts) -


@jerseyscum said:

This is all past the statue of limitations by the way.

Nice save.

It's statute by the way. Eggin some cars one night with some friends and hear this guy yell Wtf! He had his window down. We all scatter and hide in bushes when he comes barrelling into the middle of us, it was our good friend Nghiep! My other friend sees it's him and is like "Oh shit, was that you?!" Nghiep punches him right in the face and tells us we're all idiots. Who's got egg on their face now?! I never vandalized again. The more you know!

#11 Posted by Godlyawesomeguy (6399 posts) -


This is all past the statue of limitations by the way.


#12 Posted by _Zombie_ (1462 posts) -

Jaywalk every chance I get. Like a rebel.

#13 Posted by Ravenlight (8040 posts) -