"Bueller. Bueller. Bueller."
"Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with a girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious."
(Worth mentioning that it's been forever since I've really seen either of these; the above was from a Google search, not from memory)