vince offer is back people. for those of you who don't know who is he. he is the shamwow guy. he got in trouble with the law for buying a hooker and getting beaten up by her in florida.
At first, I was like "that's fucking stupid - lint rollers have been around for decades". Then he was all like BUT CHECK OUT THE BIG SCHTICKY and I was all like "sold, motherfucker".
A little forced (okay, VERY forced... the double entendres were funny the first time because they were unexpected, and could pass as accidental), but I can't hate Vince Offer. In a world without Billy Mays, nobody else can make infomercials that aren't painful to watch.
Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.
yeah, but the asses he sells have cracks in them.
Asses are supposed to have cracks. O_o If asses didn't have cracks, how could it be an ass?
That's the joke.
I know it is, I just added on to it!
shit, thought you were serious. my bad.
The asses he sells also has holes in them! That only makes it better for the males... except me. =-D Take a look at my "Coming Out of the Closet" post in the off-topic forum if you already haven't looked to find out why. And yes I made a mistake calling it celibacy, and no it wasn't really too smart of me to post something like that... but whatever!
Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.
yeah, but the asses he sells have cracks in them.
Asses are supposed to have cracks. O_o If asses didn't have cracks, how could it be an ass?
That's the joke.
I know it is, I just added on to it!
shit, thought you were serious. my bad.
The asses he sells also has holes in them! That only makes it better for the males... except me. =-D Take a look at my "Coming Out of the Closet" post in the off-topic forum if you already haven't looked to find out why. And yes I made a mistake calling it celibacy, and no it wasn't really too smart of me to post something like that... but whatever!
Claude's joke was perfect and then you guys just had to come in and ruin it, hadn't you? :P
Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.
yeah, but the asses he sells have cracks in them.
Asses are supposed to have cracks. O_o If asses didn't have cracks, how could it be an ass?
That's the joke.
I know it is, I just added on to it!
shit, thought you were serious. my bad.
The asses he sells also has holes in them! That only makes it better for the males... except me. =-D Take a look at my "Coming Out of the Closet" post in the off-topic forum if you already haven't looked to find out why. And yes I made a mistake calling it celibacy, and no it wasn't really too smart of me to post something like that... but whatever!
Claude's joke was perfect and then you guys just had to come in and ruin it, hadn't you? :P
I didn't ruin it! Billy Mays WAS serious business. =-P
I can't tell if it is real or not. The commercial, how its done, it is just beyond belief, but the product, I mean, I would buy for 10 bucks because lint rollers are fucking expensive for what you get.
He's using his schtick to make this Schticky commercial not look like a piece of schtick. That's clever. The fact that self-parody is the only way to get any attention for this guy is kind of sad. To think he once wanted to make films.
Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.
yeah, but the asses he sells have cracks in them.
Asses are supposed to have cracks. O_o If asses didn't have cracks, how could it be an ass?
That's the joke.
I know it is, I just added on to it!
shit, thought you were serious. my bad.
The asses he sells also has holes in them! That only makes it better for the males... except me. =-D Take a look at my "Coming Out of the Closet" post in the off-topic forum if you already haven't looked to find out why. And yes I made a mistake calling it celibacy, and no it wasn't really too smart of me to post something like that... but whatever!
Claude's joke was perfect and then you guys just had to come in and ruin it, hadn't you? :P
A little forced (okay, VERY forced... the double entendres were funny the first time because they were unexpected, and could pass as accidental), but I can't hate Vince Offer. In a world without Billy Mays, nobody else can make infomercials that aren't painful to watch.
You better bow down before Ron Popeil before he smites all your shitty modern day pitchmen. He already ended Billy Mays.
These things already exist and the stickiness of the product will undoubtedly fade away over time. Like his silly Shamwow stuff, this product will not work nearly as well in real life. It's convenient that in the video all the messes are of exactly the right size to be removed with one quick roll - but what if you don't have a neat, palm-sized patch of crumbs? What if you don't have a conveniently sized patch of pet fur that needs to be rolled up - what if you're entire couch is covered in pet fur (I have two German Shepherds and by god do they shed a ton of fur)? What if your entire table is covered in crumbs?
I'm not buying it, Vince. I'm not buying it. Those shamwows were a goddamn disappointment.
Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.
yeah, but the asses he sells have cracks in them.
Asses are supposed to have cracks. O_o If asses didn't have cracks, how could it be an ass?
That's the joke.
I know it is, I just added on to it!
shit, thought you were serious. my bad.
The asses he sells also has holes in them! That only makes it better for the males... except me. =-D Take a look at my "Coming Out of the Closet" post in the off-topic forum if you already haven't looked to find out why. And yes I made a mistake calling it celibacy, and no it wasn't really too smart of me to post something like that... but whatever!
Claude's joke was perfect and then you guys just had to come in and ruin it, hadn't you? :P
Stop this fucking madness.
I'll stop. Just don't remind me! I guess the ass you ordered didn't have a crack or a hole in it. If I were you, I'd return it and get my money back!
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