#1 Edited by iam3green (14390 posts) -

vince offer is back people. for those of you who don't know who is he. he is the shamwow guy. he got in trouble with the law for buying a hooker and getting beaten up by her in florida. 
 
well, he is back with a new product, the Schticky. it's a lint roller to get lint off your clothing and things.  
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vince_Offer
 
"take care of that shedding pussy"
    

#2 Posted by FluxWaveZ (19325 posts) -

Glad he made a joke about his time in jail. It's apparently a real product, but they couldn't have not been self-aware when they made that ad.

#3 Posted by AgnosticJesus (544 posts) -

How the hell are you going to use a roller to get rid of Lent, Catholics have been observing it for well over a thousand years?

#4 Posted by Loyal_Dragoon (118 posts) -

That fat guy at 17 seconds must have a killer job because his wife looks like she's out of his league.

#5 Posted by Claude (16255 posts) -

He could sell me my ass and I would buy it.

#6 Posted by AhmadMetallic (18955 posts) -

Awesome

#7 Posted by Lifestrike (482 posts) -

@Claude said:

He could sell me my ass and I would buy it.
#8 Posted by iBePeRFeCT (396 posts) -

That was pretty great. I always wondered what had happened to that guy.

#9 Posted by deathstriker666 (1337 posts) -

@Lifestrike said:

@Claude said:

He could sell me my ass and I would buy it.
#10 Posted by Branthog (7510 posts) -

At first, I was like "that's fucking stupid - lint rollers have been around for decades". Then he was all like BUT CHECK OUT THE BIG SCHTICKY and I was all like "sold, motherfucker".

#11 Posted by Brodehouse (9841 posts) -

In the future we'll all have cyber-implanted earpiece-microphones.

Fucking why ain't I a robot yet? I feel like I was lied to as a child.

#12 Edited by Village_Guy (2544 posts) -

He will show the true ways of the future and when we all join his everlasting commercial, he will absolve us of our sins!

Sorry for Pony - but this was simply too good :D
#13 Posted by Nux (2328 posts) -

My pussy is always shedding now I can fix that. Thanks Vince.

#14 Posted by 49th (2726 posts) -

They are definitely going for some kind of viral ad there. I can just imagine the YouTube Poops now.

#15 Posted by Tireyo (6409 posts) -

@Lifestrike said:

@Claude said:

He could sell me my ass and I would buy it.

Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.

#16 Posted by ShaggE (6415 posts) -

A little forced (okay, VERY forced... the double entendres were funny the first time because they were unexpected, and could pass as accidental), but I can't hate Vince Offer. In a world without Billy Mays, nobody else can make infomercials that aren't painful to watch.

#17 Posted by MikeGosot (3227 posts) -

Is this real? 'Cause it's amazing.

#18 Posted by NakAttack (1289 posts) -

@Tireyo643 said:

@Lifestrike said:

@Claude said:

He could sell me my ass and I would buy it.

Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.

yeah, but the asses he sells have cracks in them.

#19 Posted by Tireyo (6409 posts) -

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@Lifestrike said:

@Claude said:

He could sell me my ass and I would buy it.

Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.

yeah, but the asses he sells have cracks in them.

Asses are supposed to have cracks. O_o If asses didn't have cracks, how could it be an ass?

#20 Posted by thevigilanteoflove (504 posts) -

Is that shown on TV? I hope it's a real product, because that is an awesome ad.

#21 Posted by NakAttack (1289 posts) -

@Tireyo643 said:

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@Lifestrike said:

@Claude said:

He could sell me my ass and I would buy it.

Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.

yeah, but the asses he sells have cracks in them.

Asses are supposed to have cracks. O_o If asses didn't have cracks, how could it be an ass?

That's the joke.

#22 Posted by Tireyo (6409 posts) -

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@Lifestrike said:

@Claude said:

He could sell me my ass and I would buy it.

Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.

yeah, but the asses he sells have cracks in them.

Asses are supposed to have cracks. O_o If asses didn't have cracks, how could it be an ass?

That's the joke.

I know it is, I just added on to it!

#23 Posted by NakAttack (1289 posts) -

@Tireyo643 said:

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@Lifestrike said:

@Claude said:

He could sell me my ass and I would buy it.

Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.

yeah, but the asses he sells have cracks in them.

Asses are supposed to have cracks. O_o If asses didn't have cracks, how could it be an ass?

That's the joke.

I know it is, I just added on to it!

shit, thought you were serious. my bad.

#24 Posted by Tireyo (6409 posts) -

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@Lifestrike said:

@Claude said:

He could sell me my ass and I would buy it.

Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.

yeah, but the asses he sells have cracks in them.

Asses are supposed to have cracks. O_o If asses didn't have cracks, how could it be an ass?

That's the joke.

I know it is, I just added on to it!

shit, thought you were serious. my bad.

The asses he sells also has holes in them! That only makes it better for the males... except me. =-D Take a look at my "Coming Out of the Closet" post in the off-topic forum if you already haven't looked to find out why. And yes I made a mistake calling it celibacy, and no it wasn't really too smart of me to post something like that... but whatever!

#25 Posted by plainplease (187 posts) -

I'm getting ready to play the video, and all I can think is, "I'm gonna love his nuts."

#26 Posted by Bourbon_Warrior (4523 posts) -

@Village_Guy said:

He will show the true ways of the future and when we all join his everlasting commercial, he will absolve us of our sins!

Sorry for Pony - but this was simply too good :D

Ewwww! A BRONY!

#27 Posted by Bourbon_Warrior (4523 posts) -

@Tireyo643 said:

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@Lifestrike said:

@Claude said:

He could sell me my ass and I would buy it.

Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.

yeah, but the asses he sells have cracks in them.

Asses are supposed to have cracks. O_o If asses didn't have cracks, how could it be an ass?

#28 Posted by Legend (2658 posts) -
@Tireyo643

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@Lifestrike said:

@Claude said:

He could sell me my ass and I would buy it.

Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.

yeah, but the asses he sells have cracks in them.

Asses are supposed to have cracks. O_o If asses didn't have cracks, how could it be an ass?

That's the joke.

I know it is, I just added on to it!

shit, thought you were serious. my bad.

The asses he sells also has holes in them! That only makes it better for the males... except me. =-D Take a look at my "Coming Out of the Closet" post in the off-topic forum if you already haven't looked to find out why. And yes I made a mistake calling it celibacy, and no it wasn't really too smart of me to post something like that... but whatever!

Claude's joke was perfect and then you guys just had to come in and ruin it, hadn't you? :P
#29 Posted by Tireyo (6409 posts) -

@Legend said:

@Tireyo643

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@Lifestrike said:

@Claude said:

He could sell me my ass and I would buy it.

Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.

yeah, but the asses he sells have cracks in them.

Asses are supposed to have cracks. O_o If asses didn't have cracks, how could it be an ass?

That's the joke.

I know it is, I just added on to it!

shit, thought you were serious. my bad.

The asses he sells also has holes in them! That only makes it better for the males... except me. =-D Take a look at my "Coming Out of the Closet" post in the off-topic forum if you already haven't looked to find out why. And yes I made a mistake calling it celibacy, and no it wasn't really too smart of me to post something like that... but whatever!

Claude's joke was perfect and then you guys just had to come in and ruin it, hadn't you? :P

I didn't ruin it! Billy Mays WAS serious business. =-P

#30 Posted by ninjakiller (3405 posts) -

Vince can suck my balls, he's no Billy Mays. R.I.P. Billy!!!!

#31 Posted by Veektarius (4763 posts) -

Reusable lint roller? That's pretty handy.

#32 Posted by TheHBK (5471 posts) -

I can't tell if it is real or not. The commercial, how its done, it is just beyond belief, but the product, I mean, I would buy for 10 bucks because lint rollers are fucking expensive for what you get.

#33 Posted by Animasta (14669 posts) -

he aint no billy mays :(

#34 Posted by MaFoLu (1858 posts) -

I can only hear this guy with the TF2 Scout's voice... 

#35 Posted by Beforet (2916 posts) -

He's using his schtick to make this Schticky commercial not look like a piece of schtick. That's clever. The fact that self-parody is the only way to get any attention for this guy is kind of sad. To think he once wanted to make films.

#36 Posted by Adamsons (877 posts) -
@Claude said:
He could sell me my ass and I would buy it.
#37 Posted by jakob187 (21663 posts) -

@Tireyo643 said:

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@Lifestrike said:

@Claude said:

He could sell me my ass and I would buy it.

Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.

yeah, but the asses he sells have cracks in them.

Asses are supposed to have cracks. O_o If asses didn't have cracks, how could it be an ass?

Have you ever seen Coneheads?

#38 Posted by Tireyo (6409 posts) -

@jakob187 said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@Lifestrike said:

@Claude said:

He could sell me my ass and I would buy it.

Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.

yeah, but the asses he sells have cracks in them.

Asses are supposed to have cracks. O_o If asses didn't have cracks, how could it be an ass?

Have you ever seen Coneheads?

.... I have.

#39 Posted by jakob187 (21663 posts) -

@Tireyo643 said:

@jakob187 said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@Lifestrike said:

@Claude said:

He could sell me my ass and I would buy it.

Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.

yeah, but the asses he sells have cracks in them.

Asses are supposed to have cracks. O_o If asses didn't have cracks, how could it be an ass?

Have you ever seen Coneheads?

.... I have.

...then you know true pain, my son. Go forth and conquer the world. May the Force be with you.

#40 Posted by iam3green (14390 posts) -
@thevigilanteoflove said:

Is that shown on TV? I hope it's a real product, because that is an awesome ad.

yes, i saw it on tv twice already. i saw it on comedy central around 2:30am. so far it's the only station that i saw it for.
#41 Edited by Talis12 (488 posts) -

what happened to Mike?

#42 Posted by theguy (796 posts) -

@Legend said:

@Tireyo643

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@Lifestrike said:

@Claude said:

He could sell me my ass and I would buy it.

Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.

yeah, but the asses he sells have cracks in them.

Asses are supposed to have cracks. O_o If asses didn't have cracks, how could it be an ass?

That's the joke.

I know it is, I just added on to it!

shit, thought you were serious. my bad.

The asses he sells also has holes in them! That only makes it better for the males... except me. =-D Take a look at my "Coming Out of the Closet" post in the off-topic forum if you already haven't looked to find out why. And yes I made a mistake calling it celibacy, and no it wasn't really too smart of me to post something like that... but whatever!

Claude's joke was perfect and then you guys just had to come in and ruin it, hadn't you? :P

Stop this fucking madness.

#43 Posted by KaneRobot (1521 posts) -

@ShaggE said:

A little forced (okay, VERY forced... the double entendres were funny the first time because they were unexpected, and could pass as accidental), but I can't hate Vince Offer. In a world without Billy Mays, nobody else can make infomercials that aren't painful to watch.

You better bow down before Ron Popeil before he smites all your shitty modern day pitchmen. He already ended Billy Mays.

#44 Posted by Korolev (1703 posts) -

These things already exist and the stickiness of the product will undoubtedly fade away over time. Like his silly Shamwow stuff, this product will not work nearly as well in real life. It's convenient that in the video all the messes are of exactly the right size to be removed with one quick roll - but what if you don't have a neat, palm-sized patch of crumbs? What if you don't have a conveniently sized patch of pet fur that needs to be rolled up - what if you're entire couch is covered in pet fur (I have two German Shepherds and by god do they shed a ton of fur)? What if your entire table is covered in crumbs?

I'm not buying it, Vince. I'm not buying it. Those shamwows were a goddamn disappointment.

Online
#45 Posted by Tireyo (6409 posts) -

@theguy said:

@Legend said:

@Tireyo643

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@NakAttack said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@Lifestrike said:

@Claude said:

He could sell me my ass and I would buy it.

Billy Mays would of sold two asses for the price of one if he was alive! Don't tell me you wouldn't buy it.

yeah, but the asses he sells have cracks in them.

Asses are supposed to have cracks. O_o If asses didn't have cracks, how could it be an ass?

That's the joke.

I know it is, I just added on to it!

shit, thought you were serious. my bad.

The asses he sells also has holes in them! That only makes it better for the males... except me. =-D Take a look at my "Coming Out of the Closet" post in the off-topic forum if you already haven't looked to find out why. And yes I made a mistake calling it celibacy, and no it wasn't really too smart of me to post something like that... but whatever!

Claude's joke was perfect and then you guys just had to come in and ruin it, hadn't you? :P

Stop this fucking madness.

I'll stop. Just don't remind me! I guess the ass you ordered didn't have a crack or a hole in it. If I were you, I'd return it and get my money back!

#46 Posted by Bam_D_Leprechaun (795 posts) -
#47 Posted by theoldhouse (439 posts) -

@AgnosticJesus: "Slow clap"