Yesterday I was hanging out with a couple friends and there were a couple other people with us I didn't know. I was making chit chat with one of the people I didn't know that well.. So me and this guy were talking about music, movies, what were doing this summer and he made a joke about his weight and how he needs to lose some, he's a little bit on the heavy side. I laughed and made a joke about my weight, I'm very skinny, which was basically like I wish I could bulk up by taking some of your fat off your hands, I didn't say the word fat but it was something like that I don't remember exactly. He got extremely offended and went on a rant saying I shouldn't complain about my weight and didn't talk to me the rest of the day. Was I wrong or did he just overreact?
Was I being rude?
" @Abyssfull said:I never trust doctors." Overreaction from the sound of things. Especially if he was who brought up the weight jokes in the first place. "He joked about it because he's insecure. I'm a doctor, trust me. "
I am overweight too, and when people make a joke like that, I know they don't mean to offend me. Sometimes it does though, but I would never bring it up or get in an argument about it. If they do not approve, that is their business, but most importantly, my weight is my business. He did over react, because if I ever did what he did, I'd feel worse in the end than just letting it go.
It's like this: an ugly guy can complain that his looks, but a better looking guy can't complain about his looks in front of him.
Or a dumb guy can complain about his 60% on a test, but a smart guy can't complain about his 89% in front of him. And so on.
So whenever you have the lesser of the two similar problems, don't complain about yours to the guy with the worse problem.
Wording is important here, so it might have been slightly rude. Not sure. But I don't think the meaning was rude at all. Seems you were attempting to be self-depricating in-kind. So buddy should just calm down and realize he's not the only one with self-image issues.
I'm a skinny dude, and people LOVE to remind me about it as if it's a compliment, OR what's worse is they'll half-way force-feed me. "EAT!" "EAT!" with a fucking fork of food to my face. That's the same shit as trying to take a fat person's food from their hands, and anyone who does that needs to fuck right off in a real hurry.
You should be careful next time. He might eat you.
"Fatty as a self esteem problem "
His name's not Fatty; it's Piggy! (Sorry, I've been reading Lord of the Flies for my summer reading, and it fits perfectly).
@Abyssfull said:
"Overreaction from the sound of things. Especially if he was who brought up the weight jokes in the first place. "
Agreed, although you probably shouldn't have made the joke since you just met him; maybe if you got to know him better..
hey fatty bum bum. hey fatty bum bum (im fat myself)
@DarkS29 said:
" @Abyssfull said:yup" Overreaction from the sound of things. Especially if he was who brought up the weight jokes in the first place. "This "
In one hand, I would say the guy making jokes about a person he doesn't know well shouldn't be surprised if the person gets offended, but in the other hand the person who got offended shouldn't be surprised by the fact that other people don't know what is going to offend them and should not take things personally. Personal appearance, along with politics and religion, is one of those topics you shouldn't talk to someone you don't know very well because you run the risk of offending.
Also be careful about going along with someone's comments about their own appearance unless you know them very well. If someone you don't know well says "I'm tired/fat/tall/short/thin/ugly/etc" it might be offensive to them if say something that implies that you agree, even if it is to make them feel better.
Can't say for sure unless we know exactly what you said. But from the sounds of things he may have over reacted. When ever you joke about yourself that tells people that you're comfortable with your body and that they can laugh at you all they want because you don't give a fuck. But again, can't say unless I knew the exact wording.
So I talked to my friend and apparently he called me a jackass behind my back... my friend told me no one likes him because he's a drama queen so I don't feel bad anymore. I can't believe I lost sleep last night because I thought I offended him :P.
He sounded like a princess. Your second post proved that. total overreaction. you did nothing wrong. If someone makes the argument that he is insecure about his weight, well so are you wtf. Just cause you are skinny doesn't mean thats how you want to be. Don't worry about it bud
You probably should of waited until you knew the guy a little better.
I don't think you were out of line, but people react differently to these kinds of things.
None of us can definitively say because we didn't hear the original conversation, but from your description it sounds like he overreacted, and I think you're all clear on this one.
Hey, he made the joke about his weight implying that, to some extent, he was alright with joking about it. He sent out the signal and acted like a dick when you acted the way he implied you could. Yeah, he over reacted.
Nah. He was making a joke about his own weight. If he can do that, he can surely take a joke from somebody else. Especially one like yours. It's not like you were trying to offend him. Maybe you should of apologized. But then again, the other guy is just overreacting.
" It's like this: an ugly guy can complain that his looks, but a better looking guy can't complain about his looks in front of him. Or a dumb guy can complain about his 60% on a test, but a smart guy can't complain about his 89% in front of him. And so on. So whenever you have the lesser of the two similar problems, don't complain about yours to the guy with the worse problem. "Exactly, though I feel he did overreact, I wouldn't have said anything even if I was offended. Just like I don't say anything when my skinny girlfriend talks about her weight, while I am overweight. He brought it up as a joke, implying that broaching the topic is not forbidden, and then he clearly took offense. Perhaps he was merely trying to goad you to jump to his defense and claim that he's not fat, he's just "big boned" or some shit.
That kind of joke i'd only make with people i'm comfortable with, so yes, you were.
Sounds like an overreaction on his part too though.
EDIT: Oh, so I slightly misread that. I figured you brought up his weight to begin with. That makes it less bad I suppose, but still, seems a little too tongue in cheek for someone I don't know well. Makes his reaction sound ridiculous though. Even if he was offended he should have kept it to himself.
It was an overreaction on his behalf if you ask me, him bringing up his weight in conversation like that would lead anyone to believe he was laid back on the issue and making a light hearted joke about it is hardly anything to get offended over.
" @buzz_killington said:I hate it when people do that, try to insult themselves so they can sucker you into a compliment to boost their self-esteem. Usually it's girls that do that though, not guys." It's like this: an ugly guy can complain that his looks, but a better looking guy can't complain about his looks in front of him. Or a dumb guy can complain about his 60% on a test, but a smart guy can't complain about his 89% in front of him. And so on. So whenever you have the lesser of the two similar problems, don't complain about yours to the guy with the worse problem. "Exactly, though I feel he did overreact, I wouldn't have said anything even if I was offended. Just like I don't say anything when my skinny girlfriend talks about her weight, while I am overweight. He brought it up as a joke, implying that broaching the topic is not forbidden, and then he clearly took offense. Perhaps he was merely trying to goad you to jump to his defense and claim that he's not fat, he's just "big boned" or some shit. "
Please Log In to post.
Log in to comment