Welp... a bat got into my house a couple days ago...

That was certainly a tense night. My father and mother were staying over at my house for the night. (Long story and it was mainly just to visit me.) Well, he is a complete night owl so as I headed for bed, he stayed up. A hour after sleeping. My dad wakes me up saying something is crawling in the ceiling.

Sure enough, after dressing up I really did hear something crawling up there. We could not tell what it was at first due to the fact that this has never happened to either of us. As something crawled in the ceiling we both agreed that if it was a bat, we would kill it during the day while it was asleep.

However. After getting a midnight snack due to munchies. I was having a peanut butter sandwhich. (Use Adam brand stuff people. I doesn't contain toxic chemicals like Jife or whatever it is called!)

Dad YELLS throughout the house! "GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!"

Hearing this I quickly put down and swallowed whatever I had left for my sandwhich and ran out of the house, seeing that the fucking bat was flying around the damn place! Me, my father, and my small pomeranian dog ran out of the house.

After a few seconds to collect our thoughts. We went to my garage where I kept a few blankets to cover some of my more weather sensitive stuff. (machinery like lawn mower stuff.)

These things were FILTHY and most likely had some spiders in them. However we both put them on top of our heads like you see in many Middle Eastern countries. We were not really prepared to fight a bat in our house with our bare hands so I got a broom and my father got a fishing paddle.

We reluctently went in. My father went more into the house to warn my mom who was sleeping in the only damn room with a door... (I don't like doors... I always seemingly run into them so I didn't have a door in my room.) while I stayed behind to make sure it wouldn't fly downstairs... (we would be fucked due to having only one entrance and exit down into it.)

My father did see it in a corner of the house. I guess he took pity on it and scared it off instead of killing it as it shook... more on this later.

It had went into the front hall and he called me to put the blanket I had on over the doorway. I held it in place as he opened the front door and poked it once more. It dive bombed him and out of the house it went.

We were all pretty freaked out due to this event. I had no idea if it went into my room. However I made sure to purify everything with wash clothes and cleaners in just 15 minutes in my room only (and hour for the rest of the house.) I did not want bat germs in my damn house!

Next morning. My parents had gotten a newspaper... guess what was on the front page? Bats having rabies and becoming aggressive... yeah... no joke. It even told people to kill them and send them to the people who study this sort of thing... so my dad was in the wrong for sparing it's life and we could have gotten rabies that night... I made sure to scrub even more around the house than originally intended.

I am going on the roof of the house tomorrow to check for any holes I need to plug up. Currently I have the feeling that I don't want to do this due to my clumsiness... however I do not want to deal with any more bats in my damn house. I did however make sure to fix the hole it made in my ceiling to get in my damn house.

Certainly not a fun night. So... what happened to you guys two nights ago?

You are now Batman.

Holy shit, you're an adult?!

Nothing much, some of the murderous, rabies-infected bats I've been breeding got loose.

(I'll let myself out)

Holy shit, you're an adult?!

I prefer a knife tbh.

I remember we had a bat in my house back in the mid 90's. My cousin got a hold of it and then threw it out of the house.

If you're a good shot, you probably would have been able to take it out with a .22.

I imagine that this was something along the lines of the struggle with the squirrel in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

You should have filmed it for posterity. ;)

Haha, that sounds like it could be risky. Also, I thought your dad woke you up and you swallowed the rest of your sandwich, wondering why you were eating a sandwich while sleeping, then I realized I skipped like two lines.

We had a bat in the house a few years back. Went total "The Great Outdoors" on it and dressed up with a football helmet and a badminton racquet and took that sucker out.

@Stonyman65: Hopefully the bat is standing still because those bastards flop around like crazy when they fly......

Then again, I used to shoot Wamp Rats back home and those arent much bigger than 2 meters.

Christ. You're Karl Pilkington.
 
edit: You should have used a fishing net.

Mad. Are bats in America dangerous or something?

^wondering the same. They're pretty harmless creatures (but perhaps not while rabid) - but either way... they eat bugs, so why would you ever kill them?

Mad. Are bats in America dangerous or something?

A bat flew into my house once. My dad knocked it down with a pillow and then threw it outside into the pool. The bat managed to fly/climb out and landed softly in the grass.... then my dog came out of nowhere and ate it.

@MariachiMacabre said:

@mandude

Mad. Are bats in America dangerous or something?

Not usually. Every one I've come in contact with in the wild has been, frankly, kind of cute. Rabies is a problem with bats but it's a problem with any animal.

Ah, yeah. I keep forgetting about that rabies thing over here. Should probably stop hanging around them.

@MrKlorox said:

Christ. You're Karl Pilkington. edit: You should have used a fishing net.

Who? Also, I don't have a fishing net... I don't go fishing. We did have a plastic fishing boat but due to a bunch of barren fishing trips. That explains why I still have the paddle.

@mandude said:

Mad. Are bats in America dangerous or something?

Rabies... lots of bats carry rabies... I don't want 7 shots that are a foot long in my stomach... if I do I am going to be pissed off for a month afterwards. (I am serious. If I ever have to get rabies shots. I WILL be pissed.)

You ran out of the house because of a bat? If someone told me to run out of the house and it wasn't a fire or something I'd be upset. But whatever.

@Jay444111 said:

@MrKlorox said:

Christ. You're Karl Pilkington. edit: You should have used a fishing net.

Who? Also, I don't have a fishing net... I don't go fishing. We did have a plastic fishing boat but due to a bunch of barren fishing trips. That explains why I still have the paddle.

@mandude said:

Mad. Are bats in America dangerous or something?

Rabies... lots of bats carry rabies... I don't want 7 shots that are a foot long in my stomach... if I do I am going to be pissed off for a month afterwards. (I am serious. If I ever have to get rabies shots. I WILL be pissed.)

The fuck? A lot of them? Enough to matter? I've been hanging around bats like we were best friends.

@Jay444111 said:

@MrKlorox said:

Christ. You're Karl Pilkington. edit: You should have used a fishing net.

Who? Also, I don't have a fishing net... I don't go fishing. We did have a plastic fishing boat but due to a bunch of barren fishing trips. That explains why I still have the paddle.

@mandude said:

Mad. Are bats in America dangerous or something?

Rabies... lots of bats carry rabies... I don't want 7 shots that are a foot long in my stomach... if I do I am going to be pissed off for a month afterwards. (I am serious. If I ever have to get rabies shots. I WILL be pissed.)

Karl Pilkington is the dude in my avatar. Also, search Idiot Abroad, you'll be a better person for it.

And yeah, bats are flying disease ridden rodents, I can understand being freaked out by.

@ShadowConqueror said:

You ran out of the house because of a bat? If someone told me to run out of the house and it wasn't a fire or something I'd be upset. But whatever.

Bats man... bats!

@Jay444111 said:

@ShadowConqueror said:

You ran out of the house because of a bat? If someone told me to run out of the house and it wasn't a fire or something I'd be upset. But whatever.

Bats man... bats!

I'm not saying it was bats... but it was bats.

I'm not saying it was Shadows... but it was Shadows.

Okay... I had to do this once I saw this image... I apologize.

@Jay444111 said:

@MrKlorox said:

Christ. You're Karl Pilkington. edit: You should have used a fishing net.

Who? Also, I don't have a fishing net... I don't go fishing. We did have a plastic fishing boat but due to a bunch of barren fishing trips. That explains why I still have the paddle.

@mandude said:

Mad. Are bats in America dangerous or something?

Rabies... lots of bats carry rabies... I don't want 7 shots that are a foot long in my stomach... if I do I am going to be pissed off for a month afterwards. (I am serious. If I ever have to get rabies shots. I WILL be pissed.)

The fuck? A lot of them? Enough to matter? I've been hanging around bats like we were best friends.

Most bats don t have rabies. For example, even among bats submitted for rabies testing because they could be captured, were obviously weak or sick, or had been captured by a cat, only about 6% had rabies.

Damn!

@MrKlorox said:

@mandude said:

The fuck? A lot of them? Enough to matter? I've been hanging around bats like we were best friends.

http://www.cdc.gov/rabies/bats/education/ said:

Most bats don t have rabies. For example, even among bats submitted for rabies testing because they could be captured, were obviously weak or sick, or had been captured by a cat, only about 6% had rabies.

It's like the fear of spiders. They're both icky and associated with horror, but very few can actually hurt you.

edit: Karl Pilkington is best known as the, erm... subject of The Rick Gervais Show.

Well that's quite reassuring. I'm used to not having to worry about rabies at all, though, so it's still kind of worrying .

@GenocidalKitten said:

@mandude said:

The fuck? A lot of them? Enough to matter? I've been hanging around bats like we were best friends.

Actually, less than 1% of bats carry rabies, the only reason people tell you to be careful around them is because if a bat is crazy enough to fly towards people then usually something is wrong with it.

Where do you live exactly, because bats in Australia can also spread deadly diseases but, there has only been a handful of cases of that so you should be fine.

Also, the only way to get rabies from bats is to be bitten or scratched or to eat one that has it, so you probably went a little overboard with cleaning everything.

I spent way to much time watching animal planet when I was growing up.

I live in America at the moment, but I'm from Ireland where there are always bats around. We don't have rabies there at all though, so the problem is that I'm not really used to thinking twice about them. In fact, I don't think we have any wildlife that can kill you in Ireland.

i suppose with the possibility of rabies it's slightly acceptable, but i still feel sad that more often than not the kneejerk reaction to any wild animal in a home is to kill it.

this reminded me of a COPS episode (i think it was), where a non-venomous snake was hanging out under a person's porch or something, and IIRC the dumbass hick cop whacks it dead with the butt of his gun. :( completely harmless animal and should have been spared.

Well... the sane fact that that our local news is saying that bats with Rabies up here is getting more common... the next fucking day after a bat was in my house is NOT a good thing to think about... mkay?

I refuse to believe you are a home owner.

If this isn't bullshit then you are a fuckin' cartoon character, bro.

@ripelivejam said:

i suppose with the possibility of rabies it's slightly acceptable, but i still feel sad that more often than not the kneejerk reaction to any wild animal in a home is to kill it.

this reminded me of a COPS episode (i think it was), where a non-venomous snake was hanging out under a person's porch or something, and IIRC the dumbass hick cop whacks it dead with the butt of his gun. :( completely harmless animal and should have been spared.

Again... this is literally the first time this has EVER happened. Now, we have had birds in the house before. We have in fact gotten them out alive no matter what... unless they get stuck in the chimney and... well... die... then fuck... Trust me when I say that birds and wood stoves NEVER go together.

Again. If any animal is in your house fucking with you. I think you do have the right to kill it. Mainly vermin ones like bats. However we didn't kill it like I said. We all agreed however that we will kill the next ones due to the sane fact that we don't want to spread Rabies by leaving the crazy infected ones alive. You know... so other bats won't get fucked over by another infected bat.

@Patman99 said:

We had a bat in the house a few years back. Went total "The Great Outdoors" on it and dressed up with a football helmet and a badminton racquet and took that sucker out.

@Stonyman65: Hopefully the bat is standing still because those bastards flop around like crazy when they fly......

Then again, I used to shoot Wamp Rats back home and those arent much bigger than 2 meters.

Well, a static target is easier to hit than a moving one obviously, but if you can hit a clay while skeet shooting or hit pheasant while hunting, a bat isn't a hard shot to make. They're much larger and slower.

@EuanDewar said:

If this isn't bullshit then you are a fuckin' cartoon character, bro.

Dude... I have a moment that literally is like that of a fucking cartoon. I might as well share it due to how hilarious it is.

One day, our projection screen TV died. This was kinda a big deal. For the sane fact that it was heavy and huge. we had to back my fathers truck up to the front door and put it onto the back of the truck. Due to having the topper on the truck. We couldn't put it in. So we decided to literally follow the truck right behind. While making sure the TV doesn't come out and get destroyed. (Someone could fix it and did get it later on, we just wanted to get a LCD tv is all.)

Now imagine 3 people behind a big truck, keeping a TV stable on a ledge of said truck, going down and around the street... during a solar eclipse might I add, as we were TRYING to keep up with the truck, yelling for dad to slow his ass down so we wouldn't get crushed by the TV. We literally looked like Cartoon Characters with how our feet were running behind the damn thing...

It was not fun. If someone took a video of us doing this. I honestly think we would have been youtube hits due to how goofy it was.

So yeah... my life is a lot like a cartoon!

@GenocidalKitten said:

@mandudesaid:

I live in America at the moment, but I'm from Ireland where there are always bats around. We don't have rabies there at all though, so I'm not really used to thinking twice about them. In fact, I don't think we have any wildlife that can kill you in Ireland.

You should be okay then, It's really easy to tell if a bat has rabies, if it does then it won't be able to fly or see because the disease messes with the bat's echolocation.

Sweet. Sounds like useful information. Jesus, what with all the bears, moose, wolves, coyotes and now rabies out here, it feels like everything wants to kill me.

@mandude said:

@GenocidalKitten said:

@mandudesaid:

I live in America at the moment, but I'm from Ireland where there are always bats around. We don't have rabies there at all though, so I'm not really used to thinking twice about them. In fact, I don't think we have any wildlife that can kill you in Ireland.

You should be okay then, It's really easy to tell if a bat has rabies, if it does then it won't be able to fly or see because the disease messes with the bat's echolocation.

Sweet. Sounds like useful information. Jesus, what with all the bears, moose, wolves, coyotes and now rabies out here, it feels like everything wants to kill me.

I wouldn't worry about most of those... other than Bears and wolves. But those are rare so you should be fine.

Just... don't go to Montana. We have Grizzly Bears here... Grizzly bears could kill many many people before one of them had its fill... I should also mention that the main defense of getting away from a Grizzly Bear is to curl up in a ball, pray to whoever you believe in and hope you don't get eaten... I am not joking. That is the main way to defend yourself from a Grizzly Bear.

@GenocidalKitten said:

@ripelivejam said:

i suppose with the possibility of rabies it's slightly acceptable, but i still feel sad that more often than not the kneejerk reaction to any wild animal in a home is to kill it.

this reminded me of a COPS episode (i think it was), where a non-venomous snake was hanging out under a person's porch or something, and IIRC the dumbass hick cop whacks it dead with the butt of his gun. :( completely harmless animal and should have been spared.

Yeah, I'm always disgusted by how some people believe that all snakes are poisonous, or that all wild animals are super dangerous.

BTW, that isn't directed at you Jay I'm just talking in general

Oh yeah. I don't go out of my way of killing things just to kill them... unless they are Mice or rats... or now bats. I don't want vermin to infest my place with diseases is all. Also fuck moths and spiders. I don't care what people think of me, all spiders and moths must die when they enter my liar. They are fucking evil and most likely made to fuck with people on a constant pace by either bugging them or biting them with their super poisons.

Do you have any stories with monkeys?

@MrKlorox said:

Do you have any stories with monkeys?

We have a pet shop in town that basically traps them in this little zoo thing... how PETA never destroyed that place I will never know... I am serious. If a SINGLE animal rescue unit was sent into this one pet store in town. The amount of animals being taken out or put out of their misery on the spot would be fucking INSANE.

@Jay444111 said:

I wouldn't worry about most of those... other than Bears and wolves. But those are rare so you should be fine.

Just... don't go to Montana. We have Grizzly Bears here... Grizzly bears could kill many many people before one of them had its fill... I should also mention that the main defense of getting away from a Grizzly Bear is to curl up in a ball, pray to whoever you believe in and hope you don't get eaten... I am not joking. That is the main way to defend yourself from a Grizzly Bear.

Well, I spend a lot of time in Alaska, so they are fairly common and I've seen them all up close. And yeah, haha. The advice they print in the papers every year for grizzlies is:

If you come across a grizzly bear, don't contest it, but stand your ground. That way it will be easier for the rangers to recover your remains.

@MrKlorox said:

Do you have any stories with monkeys?

We have a pet shop in town that basically traps them in this little zoo thing... how PETA never destroyed that place I will never know... I am serious. If a SINGLE animal rescue unit was sent into this one pet store in town. The amount of animals being taken out or put out of their misery on the spot would be fucking INSANE.

I caught a bat once in my house. Its wing was a little damaged so I fed it and stuff like that until it got better and could take off again and then go about it's business. 

These things were FILTHY and most likely had some spiders in them. However we both put them on top of our heads like you see in many Middle Eastern countries. We were not really prepared to fight a bat in our house with our bare hands so I got a broom and my father got a fishing paddle.