What are some of your favorite quotes?

 Here are my 5 favorite quotes.

“We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.” –Anne Frank

“It is not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races.” –Mark Twain

“Change is like manure. It smells terrible, but it makes things grow.” –Dan Gottlieb

"I pray Heaven to bestow the best of Blessings on this House and all that shall hereafter inhabit it. May none but honest and wise Men ever rule under this roof."  - John Adam’s White House Blessing.

“A penny saved is a penny earned.” – Ben Franklin

"I put to you that the problem does not lie with his small penis but rather...with your large vagina" - Larry David.

I am not one for quoting people but I have been heard to say Milk was a bad choice. Because as much as I enjoy it sometimes it usually makes me feel sick after.

More quotes which I live my life by:

'A good man always knows his limitations.' - Harry Callahan

'The only morality in a cruel world is chance.' - Harvey Dent

'This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.' - Jack's Wasted Life

'If you start out depressed, everything's kind of a pleasant surprise' - Lloyd Dobler

'Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?' - Rob Gordon

'...And fuck you too!' - R.J. MacReady

"Shut your mouth before I fuck it." Zack and Miri

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

You can train a noob but then, hell just be like, a trained noob. -Jeramey

"

"The physicists say that I am a mathematician, and the mathematicians say that I am a physicist. I am a completely isolated man and though everybody knows me, there are very few people who really know me.

-- Albert Einstein"

 lilburtonboy7489 - Thomas Jefferson is quite a speaker! Nice quote.

Jakob and HandsomeDead: I like your quotes too. Jakob's is funny, and HD's quotes are meaningful! :)

HandsomeDead: Can I call you HD? :D

"" It is always the best policy to speak the Truth -- unless, of course, you are an exceptionally Good liar."---Jerome K. Jerome

"Happiness is the perpetual possession of being well deceived."---Jonathan Swift

"If God were suddenly condemned to live the life which he has inflicted on men,he would kill himself."--- Alexander Dumas


"

"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free."
-Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Winston Churchill is the man!

1.
Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.”
Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”

2.
Nancy Astor: “Sir, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.”
Churchill: “If I were your husband I would take it.”

3.
Churchill: "Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?"
Woman: "My goodness, Mr. Churchill… Well, I suppose… we would have to discuss terms, of course…"
Churchill: "Would you sleep with me for five pounds?"
Woman: "Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!"
Churchill: "Madam, we’ve already established that. Now we are haggling about the price."

4.
"The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative."

5.
"I am prepared to meet my maker; whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."

"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a poor memory"
- Albert Schweitzer

"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance"
-Confucius

"Time you enjoyed wasting is not wasted"
-T.S. Eliot

"Hermits have no peer pressure"
-Steven Wright

"He can compose the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met"
-Abraham Lincoln

"Next to a sincere compliment, I think I like a well-deserved and honest rebuke"
-William Feather

"How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg. "
-Abraham Lincoln

"A witty saying proves nothing"
-Voltaire

Martin Luther King: "In the end, we will remember not the words or deeds of our enemies, but the silence of those who we thought were our friends."

Anything that Winston Churchill says... pretty much.

"Anything that Winston Churchill says... pretty much."

"Time you enjoyed wasting is not wasted"
-T.S. Eliot

I like this quote too.  Nice one Jackijinx.

"Sometimes the hardest thing to learn is the obvious." - Tireyo643 :D I actually came up with this on my own.  Does anyone like my little saying?

"Son if you want to achieve anything in life you're going to have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers!"

"Squirt that water bottle at me again, and I’m gonna come down there and f*ck your girlfriend, pal!" -David Lee Roth

books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn't pay..so if you keep reading, you'll go broke

Saw this the other day and liked it:

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."- Miss Piggy

A true friend stabs you in the front. - Oscar Wilde

Call on God, but row away from the rocks. - Hunter S. Thompson

"Where's my Strawberry Tart?!"

"My momma always said, Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get" - Forest gump

"Find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life" - confucius

"When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party." - Ron White

"My cholesterol count has a comma." "I give him enough MSG to kill an elephant.” - both John Pinette

"Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say that there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe." - frank zappa

"I'm a shark! I'm a shark! Suck my dick! I'm a shark!"

Old Sam: "I can't shoot Max..."

"It's a hell of a thing to kill a man. You take away all he's got, and everything he's ever gonna have" - Clint Eastwood, Unforgiven.

"I know you've come to kill me. Shoot, you are only going to kill a man" - Che Guevara, revolutionary

"HandsomeDead: Can I call you HD? :D"

"Tireyo643 said:

"HandsomeDead: Can I call you HD? :D"

Knock yourself out."

"A witty saying proves nothing"-Voltaire"

"HandsomeDead said:

"Tireyo643 said:

"HandsomeDead: Can I call you HD? :D"

Knock yourself out."

And this is why no one likes you.."

Be a man.
Push harder

"dr_nefarious said:

"HandsomeDead said:

"Tireyo643 said:

"HandsomeDead: Can I call you HD? :D"

Knock yourself out."

And this is why no one likes you.."

It's just a different way of saying 'Go ahead.' Surely you've heard people say it?"

PAIN IS WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY *INSERT NAME*! 

YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY FULL OF WEAKNESS -         My old P.E teacher

Would you kindly... -atlas/fontaine

HandsomeDead: Ok! :D

Here's another. "Thank you very kindly." -Jed Clampett

Love the quotes everyone!  Expecially yours Linkyshinks.  Miss. Piggy!  Lol.

"Be a man.Push harder"

Get the fuck out of here before I make you my bitch.

"what is a man?" - Dracula