What if every member of Giant Bomb staff gained super-strength?

Think about it. They could go on an actual raid in Japan!

Then they could demolish all rival video game websites with their bare hands.

@FluxWaveZ said:

Then they could demolish all rival video game websites with their bare hands.

Not if they got the lava cum super power.

@Dagbiker said:

@FluxWaveZ said:

Then they could demolish all rival video game websites with their bare hands.

Not if they got the lava cum super power.

This thread turned weird in record time.

What if everyone ever had super strength? Then I guess these bizarre threads would stop popping up.

@Dagbiker said:

@FluxWaveZ said:

Then they could demolish all rival video game websites with their bare hands.

Not if they got the lava cum super power.

This thread turned weird in record time.

@TooWalrus said:

@Hailinel said:

@Dagbiker said:

@FluxWaveZ said:

Then they could demolish all rival video game websites with their bare hands.

Not if they got the lava cum super power.

This thread turned weird in record time.

Well that's just Dagbiker's super power.

Then every member of the giant bomb staff would've gained super strength. 

@PillClinton said:

What if everyone ever had super strength? Then I guess these bizarre threads would stop popping up.

No, we haven't asked ourselves what would happen if every child on the planet had super speed.

@FluxWaveZ said:

@PillClinton said:

What if everyone ever had super strength? Then I guess these bizarre threads would stop popping up.

No, we haven't asked ourselves what would happen if every child on the planet had super speed.

Well? What are you waiting for? Get on that!

@FluxWaveZ said:

Then Ryan and Jeff could demolish all rival video game websites with their bear hands.

There we go, much better.

Well first they would have to change their names

Brad Shoebreaker

Jeff Gutsmann

Ryan Devastavis

Vinny Killavella

Patrick "Scoop out your brain with my bare hands" Klepek

I guess I'd stop subscribing.  They wouldn't really need the support anymore.

Shit would be whack

@Icicle7x3 said:

Well first they would have to change their names

Brad Shoebreaker

Jeff Gutsmann

Ryan Devastavis

Vinny Killavella

Patrick "Scoop out your brain with my bare hands" Klepek

These are pretty good.

@FluxWaveZ said:

@PillClinton said:

What if everyone ever had super strength? Then I guess these bizarre threads would stop popping up.

No, we haven't asked ourselves what would happen if every child on the planet had super speed.

Or what if everyone with arthritis gained super flexibility? Or what if everyone with a weak resume gained legitimate and influential letters of recommendation? Or what if everyone with halitosis gained minty fresh breath?

Seriously, we've only scratched the surface. This clearly is what this website does now.

@ThePhantomStranger said:

@Icicle7x3 said:

Well first they would have to change their names

Brad Shoebreaker

Jeff Gutsmann

Ryan Devastavis

Vinny Killavella

Patrick "Scoop out your brain with my bare hands" Klepek

These are pretty good.

Your...standards are low.

@ThePhantomStranger said:

@Icicle7x3 said:

Well first they would have to change their names

Brad Shoebreaker

Jeff Gutsmann

Ryan Devastavis

Vinny Killavella

Patrick "Scoop out your brain with my bare hands" Klepek

These are pretty good.

true. Though maybe Patrick Klepekonqueror?

i feel they would use their powers for all sorts of crazy shit. like the metal gear, shadow moses, ken kutaragi thing would actually happen and they would do it just to do it lol.

@htr10 said:

@ThePhantomStranger said:

@Icicle7x3 said:

Well first they would have to change their names

Brad Shoebreaker

Jeff Gutsmann

Ryan Devastavis

Vinny Killavella

Patrick "Scoop out your brain with my bare hands" Klepek

These are pretty good.

Your...standards are low.

Yeah I know.

Also comedy is subjective.

I knew this topic would exist eventually.

And they all have super-strength already. They only show off their powers if you have a premium subscription.

@FluxWaveZ said:

Then they could demolish all rival video game websites with their bare hands.

Kind of off topic, but I've always wanted to see the Bombcrew take on those jokers over at GameInformer in a fighting game tournament or something.

What if I did?

Yeah, what if? What if indeed.

I want super powers that can stop these awful super power threads.

What if people had the ability to not post the first thing that pops into their heads on the internet?

They would all become Vinny.

@FluxWaveZ said:

Then they could demolish all rival video game websites with their bare hands.

Not if they got the lava cum super power.

Well first they would have to change their names

Brad Shoebreaker

Jeff Gutsmann

Ryan Devastavis

Vinny Killavella

Patrick "Scoop out your brain with my bare hands" Klepek

@ThePhantomStranger said:

@htr10 said:

@ThePhantomStranger said:

@Icicle7x3 said:

Well first they would have to change their names

Brad Shoebreaker

Jeff Gutsmann

Ryan Devastavis

Vinny Killavella

Patrick "Scoop out your brain with my bare hands" Klepek

These are pretty good.

Your...standards are low.

Yeah I know.

Also comedy is subjective.

Fair enough.

I imagine an orgy would ensue. May be that's just wishful thinking on my part.

Jeff would be less annoyed at having to move his couch to play Dance Central.

Beyond that, I see no benefit.

There would be a new Viva Pinata.

Not much would change. Super-strength isn't all that useful in everyday life.

What if everyone in the world was born with super strength, and the ones that weren't, were the superheroes.

There would be thousands of broken consoles and PC's world wide

They would then be half as strong as Vinny.

what if every member of the giant bomb staff gained aspergers syndrome?

@PillClinton said:

What if everyone ever had super strength? Then I guess these bizarre threads would stop popping up.

Yeah, this is really dumb. It was from the beginning and still is.

Somebody would suggest they go on an Endurance Run to create world peace. They would then scoff at the idea and the world would end as it got engulfed in war as they sat on their asses and did NOTHING ABOUT IT!

@Icicle7x3 said:

Vinny Killavella

No one better fuck with Vinny. We all knew he already had superpowers, so just imagine if he got beefed up even more... whoa.

@SpaceRunaway said:

I guess I'd stop subscribing. They wouldn't really need the support anymore.

Jesus Christ man........

Well at least the others would finally be on equal footing with Vinny's guns.

@Godlyawesomeguy:

I think you might have missed it.

nuke.com redirects to gamespot.

I guess a lot more people would join Giantbomb. Heck, I would join any site if this gets me super strength

@SpaceRunaway said:

@Godlyawesomeguy:

I think you might have missed it.

Missed what?

@Godlyawesomeguy:

I'm making fun of the people who seem to want to drop their subscriptions at a moment's notice. I just re-upped for another year; I am not planning on bailing. To begin with, the OP is already making fun of the guy who kept making superhero threads, so I thought that would have set the mood that this whole thread was in jest.

@SpaceRunaway said:

@Godlyawesomeguy:

I'm making fun of the people who seem to want to drop their subscriptions at a moment's notice. I just re-upped for another year; I am not planning on bailing. To begin with, the OP is already making fun of the guy who kept making superhero threads, so I thought that would have set the mood that this whole thread was in jest.

I got it, but I thought you were making a "support" pun (you know, with the whole "strength" thing) on top of that.