It can be live action or animated.
What is the worst kids movie you have ever seen?
Last time I saw a kids movie I was still a kid, and even the worst shit ever fascinated my small brain back then. The standards of a child are a beautiful thing.
When I grew up I no longer saw any kids movies.. why would you? Do you do it intentionally or do you have children?
The "movie" called Foodfight from 2012. Terribly CG animated with advertisements in the form of company mascots. So so bad
It's probably gotta be one of the Spy Kids movies. I mean I know there's a lot of children's cinema out there which is bad, but really some of the later Spy Kids stuff especially is complete trash.
Considering I thought the first one was actually pretty great the later movies are...wow. Do yourself a favor watch #1 and pretend that is all there is.
That Garfield movie from about 10 years ago was so goddamn awful.
Cannibal Holocaust.
Hey, it teaches the kids some important life lessons!
Star Wars. Pick any one. They're all equally bad.
While I agree the original Star Wars movies were not as good as I remembered them when I rewatched them a few years ago, I still think The Empire Strikes Back is pretty good though.
Cannibal Holocaust.
Hey, it teaches the kids some important life lessons!
Bullshit! What life is there in that movie? There's tons of death, yes, but where's the life?
@clonedzero: Do you mean Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (the second in the franchise), or Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves (the second to involve shrinking)?
When I grew up I no longer saw any kids movies.. why would you? Do you do it intentionally or do you have children?
There are many out there that are equally entertaining as an adult, I think. (Pixar, etc.) Most recently, I loved the hell out of The Lego Movie.
When I grew up I no longer saw any kids movies.. why would you? Do you do it intentionally or do you have children?
There are many out there that are equally entertaining as an adult, I think. (Pixar, etc.) Most recently, I loved the hell out of The Lego Movie.
Yes, what this fellow said.
There are sort of two genres of 'kids' movies, you have the kids movies that also have themes or comedies an adult can enjoy (even hidden adult jokes in them) tons of Pixar stuff, Toy Story and Wall-E were huge amongst adults (even knew a few adults who cried during 3) and of course there are shows that are along the same vein, even though it's intended for a child like audience, it doesn't exclude adults. (Animaniacs from back in the day, Adventure Time now, etc.)
But then there are the pure absolute kids movies and shows that are the "A is for Apple! B is for Balloon! C is for Crayons! D is for Drums!" such as your Dora the Explorer or Blues Clues. Those are the ones that speak down to you (not saying that as an insult, that is just their purpose)
Where as Toy Story never speaks down to you, Secret of Nimh doesn't as well and so on and so forth. So many adults enjoy seeing them.
It's definitely a tie between the following masterpieces:
Sherlock Bones: Undercover Dog
Spider's Web: A Pig's Tale
Sunshine Barry and the Disco Worms
So, Sherlock Bones. The whole movie they get the dog to speak by shoving peanut butter up it's mouth and it looks real uncomfortable. There's a scene in the middle of the film where a family that takes the dog in is playing music using spinning plates and glasses(?) while blowing soap bubbles all over the place and it's super abstract and insane.
Spider's Web is not just completely surreal due to the horrible, horrible quality of the animation, but also features a dance scene with a purple skeleton and a purple snake.
Now Sunshine Barry... If you were locked into a desolate box where you could barely breath as you had to tuck yourself into it with your knees punching you in the teeth and were then forced to listen to drunken karaoke of disco songs, you would sort of get the experience I had watching Sunshine Barry and the Disco Worms. I watched it with a Finnish dub of course, because I want to hear whoever the fuck was a popular mediocre pop singer at the time doing a cover of Blame It On The Boogie. The dubbing was so fucking atrocious I had a hard time believing it. Finnish dubbing companies often employ the same people over and over again, but here it feels like they had three voices. But heck, that's not the worst problem here. Oh no, the ugliest crap in this film is definitely the animation itself. Look, this is a cheap Danish flick, but holy shit, you'd think worms would be easy to animate. I could animate a worm in 3DMax, you just draw a tube and stretch it here and there. But these worms, and all objects really, look like they forgot the stretching part. The dubbing doesn't match the lips at all. Then there's the story. Basically take Antz and replace finding meaning in a relationship with finding meaning in having a fucking disco band and you have it! Except without the humor. And the adventure. Really, this is just about worms starting a disco garage band. It's such bullshit.
It's by far the baby geniuses movies. Those movies fill me with anger when I stop and think about them. The idea isn't TOO bad but the movie is just terrible. Some of the worst filmmaking I've ever seen from a major studio release.
Can't remember the name but it was some terrible animated movie (like seriously AWEFULLY animated, so probably pretty old if I had to guess) about a dog detective but he was also a food mascot living in a supermarket with other mascots? (like I think some guy was supposed to be Mr. Clean?) A his sidekick was some chocolate monkey and some anime-like cat-human was his girlfriend? I honestly have no idea what happened. Watched it with my niece and I wanted to die. I'm actually rather happy that I can't remember the name of it.
Edit: Fuck it, I had to look it up and HOLY SHIT that movie came out in 2012. And Charly Sheen is in it? What the fuck?
Can't remember the name but it was some terrible animated movie (like seriously AWEFULLY animated, so probably pretty old if I had to guess) about a dog detective but he was also a food mascot living in a supermarket with other mascots? (like I think some guy was supposed to be Mr. Clean?) A his sidekick was some chocolate monkey and some anime-like cat-human was his girlfriend? I honestly have no idea what happened. Watched it with my niece and I wanted to die. I'm actually rather happy that I can't remember the name of it.
Some guy IS Mr. Clean. It's called Foodfight! and features quite heavy numbers of licensed characters. The animation is pretty horrid but at least it has voice actors who occasionally know what they're doing:
Last time I saw a kids movie I was still a kid, and even the worst shit ever fascinated my small brain back then. The standards of a child are a beautiful thing.
When I grew up I no longer saw any kids movies.. why would you? Do you do it intentionally or do you have children?
Some peope are what we call kids at heart and appreciate stuff better than they did as kids nothing wrong with it
Last time I saw a kids movie I was still a kid, and even the worst shit ever fascinated my small brain back then. The standards of a child are a beautiful thing.
When I grew up I no longer saw any kids movies.. why would you? Do you do it intentionally or do you have children?
Some peope are what we call kids at heart and appreciate stuff better than they did as kids nothing wrong with it
I wish I was one of those. Those people never lose the essence of childish beauty and cheerfulness, I envy them. Then again some of them get called fruity in public, so I'm glad no one calls me fruity. Society is strange.
i can think of many i didnt enjoy(some of which even got good reviews but i didnt see the apeal since kids movies with some excepcions just don't have enough wow factor for me)
chicken little
bolt
hoodwinked
bee movie
rio
barnyard
cars 1 and 2
brave
princess and the frog (other than the villian i just didnt enjoy it)
cloudy with a chance of meatballs
hotel transylvania
the lorax
horton heres a who
any ice age movie after 1
shrek 3 and 4
puss in boots
those are the ones i can think of that ive seen that where bad
@clonedzero: Do you mean Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (the second in the franchise), or Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves (the second to involve shrinking)?
The one with the godzilla sized toddler.
I saw that in the theater when i was like a super little kid like 4 or 5, and man... even then i thought it was awful.
I was over at my friend's relative's house for thanksgiving one year, and we put on this movie for the little girl there at some point. I don't remember what it was called, but it was some cg made for tv movie, I think it was on the Disney channel. It was awful princess wish fulfillment bullshit. Some little girl's broke mom marries the rich king and now the little girl has to adjust to her new life as a princess, she's great at everything and even when people try to screw her over things work out awesomely. I think there's "Princess School" at some point.
Turbo was pretty bad
i never bothered with it it looked way to pandering to me
@clonedzero: I was about the same. Honey, I Blew Up the Kid is godawful garbage. Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves however had... some redeeming features? I think? I dunno, all I know is that when I was 7 I liked 1, hated 2 and tolerated 3.
More like: "Let's make a movie, the deadline is tomorrow"
and i hated all the sequels to the movies in Disney Renaissance Era
Saw bits and pieces of the trailer on the internet over a few years, and 3 or so years ago saw it at my local library. I HAD to check it out to see how bad it was. Absolute garbage.
As a kid, the first movie I remember absolutely hating was the Garbage Pail Kids Movie. That opinion has not changed.
@stoodspoon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kazPtWbTI7k
This movie was fucking terrible
Cannibal Holocaust.
Yeaaah, I´ve seen that piece of shit. VERY misleading title to say the least.
As for the worst kids movie? Probably.. uh.. I don´t know some Adam Sandler thing? Do those count?
@purplemoustache: That just looks depressing.
I don´t know some Adam Sandler thing? Do those count?
Not according to the Geneva Conventions.
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