What's the craziest thing you've done with a pet?

I have a trick that my friends love where I'll take my goldfish (Burger) and put him in my mouth and then spit him back into my bowl. I saw it on Letterman once. 
 
What do you guys do?

What about fish feces? They're in the bowl too. It swims around them.

I use to spin my cat around until I couldn't stand up any more.  As sick as it made me, there was a peverse pleasure in seeing a 4 legged animal trying to walk whilst dizzy.  Damn that cat looked pissed (drunk).

Teaching my dog to talk and howl. He actually says "mama".

I had an adopted Galah once. Before he died I used to get him and put him inside the front door, he couldn't fly but he would chase people who came over and attacked their feet. Thats about as crazy as it gets.

Making my cat go crazy with the help of a wall and a flashlight.

Had a fight with my cat over my Halloween chocolate 2 years ago. 

I play fetch with my dog.

I taught my dogs resentment. 
 
Now they behave like they're misunderstood; hanging out with other sad "mistfit" mutts, listening to emo music, and wearing girl collars.

"I use to spin my cat around until I couldn't stand up any more.  As sick as it made me, there was a peverse pleasure in seeing a 4 legged animal trying to walk whilst dizzy.  Damn that cat looked pissed (drunk). "

" I have a trick that my friends love where I'll take my goldfish (Burger) and put him in my mouth and then spit him back into my bowl. I saw it on Letterman once.  What do you guys do? "

one time I tried feeding my dog the salt at the bottom of a pretzel bag promptly after I feed her dog food... She puked.. Poor dog :(

I taught my long haired Chihuahua how to cackle like a jackal and often time its sound like a hyena's cackle.

I once put my old cat through the collar of my shirt, so I looked like a mother kangaroo with a baby kangaroo, only I looked like an idiot and the cat was, well, a cat. 

My friend told me about a kid from his town that was tripping on ecstacy and fingered his dog. To be honest I was expecting a post more along those lines, Donk.

I once tatoo'd a cat on my cat sized dog, 1:1... People thought it was a cat.

i saw my cat swim. she was hagging around the pool and i went to get my neightbor's dog. he came and my cat and dog got in a little fight and the cat ended up falling backwards into the pool. she swam a couple of feet.

Wow no one has said fucking their dog yet. I am proud of you guys!

Talking about fucking their dog!  A dude from my school got shipped off to the military academy because his parents caught him putting peanut butter on his penis so his dog could lick it off.
 
He's pretty fucked up.

I made my doxin attack and kill a garden snake once... thats about it.

I put my new dog in a small room with my 2 cats so they could get used to living together. My cats are really badass by the way, they look at me like their gonna kill me in my sleep every time I see them.
 
 
10 minutes later the dog was terrified and shaking in the corner of the room. Hes terrified of cats now. I still feel a little bit bad about it.

" @oldschool said:

"I use to spin my cat around until I couldn't stand up any more.  As sick as it made me, there was a peverse pleasure in seeing a 4 legged animal trying to walk whilst dizzy.  Damn that cat looked pissed (drunk). "

Haha Awesome fun, I did the same when I was younger,   It's got to the stage that when I go to my family's Xmas party all my cousins bullrush me and want to be twirlled, :( I first did it 5 years ago...  That is all that I do at the Party, I cant talk to my family because I am the twirler,,  I cant even have a Beer, otherwise I get really dizzy,   I have over 20 cousins..........     And I am the guy that looks after the kids while the parents get to take a load off.  I am 21 and being the twirler suck arse. "

throw a little chihuahua across tile so it would slide 

they got this teach your goldfish thing that actually works.

The craziest thing I've ever done with a pet involves a Barry Manilow blow-up doll, two rusty pipes, a small Swedish girl, five self help books, a Burger King mask and a French Nanny. I'm also banned from Türkmenistan.

Made my cat do a backflip once.  
 
My friend spit on my cat. That was a dick move.

This thread is turning into minor animal abuse and is pissing me off, why the fuck would you put a goldfish in your mouth, why the fuck would you let a friend spit on your cat? why the fuck would you make it do a backflip.....poor creatures.

Right, so I'm gonna tell that story about my old neighbor.
 
He buried the local strays up to their necks in the ground and then ran them over with a lawnmower.
He's in jail.  Bastard.

I used to put my kittens head in my mouth when I was little... Yeah I know...

when one of my cats was a kitten I would toss him in the air so he did a double backflip, then catch him. repeat.

One time, this one guy posted a bunch of useless crap in a forum and I taught my cat how to scratch his eyes out of his sockets and eat them. I still have the cat...
 
(That's right I'm lookin at you Donk... Also you KaosAngel)

" Right, so I'm gonna tell that story about my old neighbor.  He buried the local strays up to their necks in the ground and then ran them over with a lawnmower. He's in jail.  Bastard. "

If you have a glass coffee table place your dog on it, they will shit bricks. Hopefully only metaphorical bricks as it is on your coffee table.

I took my Dachsund out to piss one day & she was doin her thing so I whipped it out & started peeing in the snow & 2 seconds later the stupid ass dogs darts under my stream @__@  stupid bitch
EDIT: LMAO, I 100% didn't see it coming.  
 
@Bucketdeth:
Dude you're 100% right, this thread should be locked because it was started solely to troll GB, Donk is just a stupid bastard.

" I took my Dachsund out to piss one day & she was doin her thing so I whipped it out & started peeing in the snow & 2 seconds later the stupid ass dogs darts under my stream @__@ stupid bitch "

" One time, this one guy posted a bunch of useless crap in a forum and I taught my cat how to scratch his eyes out of his sockets and eat them. I still have the cat... "