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#1 Edited by egg (1339 posts) -

The question is: What is the least terrible crime I must commit to be sent to the same prison as a murderer?

2nd question: What about attempted murderers? (if it makes a difference) Where do attempted murderers go and what crime (besides attempted murder) do I have to do to go to the same place. I'm thinking along the lines of stealing or scamming people.. nothing violent.

This is a purely hypothetical question, I have no intention of commiting a crime, just curious about the jail and prison systems. I'm sure you guys know and will be very informative! Thanks!

#2 Posted by Zomgfruitbunnies (572 posts) -

@egg said:

The question is: What is the least terrible crime I must commit to be sent to the same prison as a murderer?

2nd question: What about attempted murderers? (if it makes a difference) Where do attempted murderers go and what crime (besides attempted murder) do I have to do to go to the same place. I'm thinking along the lines of stealing or scamming people.. nothing violent.

This is a purely hypothetical question, I have no intention of commiting a crime, just curious about the jail and prison systems. I'm sure you guys know and will be very informative! Thanks!

*squint*

Why are you really asking about this, hm~?

#3 Posted by Trainer_Red (314 posts) -

Wow.

#4 Posted by Zeik (2122 posts) -

The fact that you're asking this from a first person perspective makes your denials very very questionable.

#5 Posted by Sackmanjones (4612 posts) -

You could murder a murderer? Or you could kill yourself before you murder a murderer which means you killed a future murderer

Case closes.

#6 Posted by Subjugation (4694 posts) -

@egg said:

The question is: What is the least terrible crime I must commit to be sent to the same prison as a murderer?

2nd question: What about attempted murderers? (if it makes a difference) Where do attempted murderers go and what crime (besides attempted murder) do I have to do to go to the same place. I'm thinking along the lines of stealing or scamming people.. nothing violent.

This is a purely hypothetical question, I have no intention of commiting a crime, just curious about the jail and prison systems. I'm sure you guys know and will be very informative! Thanks!

Uh .... what makes you so sure that we know? I don't think we are a band of criminals. I don't know of anyone that is studying law either. Also ... what a weird question. Please don't go killing anyone.

#7 Posted by mrfizzy (1465 posts) -

For the record OP has said he isn't planning anything so anything bad that happens from here on in is totally NOT ON ME!

As for the question, it would depend on the system but generally a prison system isn't going to send someone who has committed a non-violent crime to a high security prison but then it will depend on a number of factors. Eg, is this your first offence or do you have a record and if so what crimes have you been arrested for in the past? I know that in England the system does actually send everyone to high security to start with no matter what you did and then from there you are assessed and sent on to the prison you will spend a majority of time at (or at least that is how it was as of about 10 years ago).

Also even if you go to a particular prison chances are that prison will have multiple areas depending on what you did and how you are behaving. Not all prisoners in one prison are necessarily having the same experience.

As for murderers and attempted murderers, there is a whole other line of possibility, was the murder premeditated or was it spur of the moment? Are you likely to do it again or was it a one off thing? In the end any sort of murder or even attempted murder and you are more or less fucked. In certain US states anything involving murder and you are looking at the possibility of a death sentence.

Now for the love of god clear my conscience and tell me again that you are totally not planning anything?

#8 Posted by Sinusoidal (1162 posts) -

Most victimless: probably go buy an ounce or two somewhere and wave it under some cop's noses. Unless you're in Colorado or Washington. Cha-ching!

#9 Posted by oraknabo (1427 posts) -

He could easily be writing a revenge story and is looking for details to make his story realistic or any number of other things.

#10 Posted by TheDudeOfGaming (6077 posts) -

Hey, if you plan on killing someone be sure to play a Hitman game first. Might give you some ideas.

#11 Posted by egg (1339 posts) -

@Sinusoidal said:

Most victimless: probably go buy an ounce or two somewhere and wave it under some cop's noses. Unless you're in Colorado or Washington. Cha-ching!

I thought you only go to jail for that.

I'm told jail and prison are totally different, and murderers go to prison. But I'm not sure if attempted murderers go to prison.

If you can share a prison with murderers simply for being in possession drugs, well that's quite convenient. You could probably even frame someone this way much more easily than other methods.

#12 Posted by Athadam (641 posts) -

You probably have to be the resident of a state that doesn't have it's prison system impacted from overpopulation. Then you have to see the laws and traditions of that state. I'm thinking about an armed robbery - and maybe a form of racially motivated crime? That might do it.

#13 Posted by Animasta (14467 posts) -

@Sinusoidal said:

Most victimless: probably go buy an ounce or two somewhere and wave it under some cop's noses. Unless you're in Colorado or Washington. Cha-ching!

to get into a prison with a murder you could probably get caught dealing cocaine or something.

#14 Posted by unique (9 posts) -

Check out Quora, they'll have some good answers for you.

#15 Posted by Clonedzero (3750 posts) -

you gonna get yourself sent to the same prison as the murderer so you can revenge kill them in the showers eh?

Online
#16 Posted by DarthOrange (3499 posts) -

Go rob a bank with a loaf of bread. Hit the cash register with the bread and tell them to give you all their money. It is (mostly) non-violent and a federal offence, meaning you will go to federal prison (assuming you are in the U.S.A.). 

#17 Edited by panvixyl (325 posts) -

The country you would be committing this crime in means A LOT, buddy.

#18 Edited by egg (1339 posts) -

@DarthOrange said:

Go rob a bank with a loaf of bread. Hit the cash register with the bread and tell them to give you all their money. It is (mostly) non-violent and a federal offence, meaning you will go to federal prison (assuming you are in the U.S.A.).

But how to frame someone and get them sent to prison? You would have to rob a place yourself and then put the stolen money in that person's possession. Meaning nobody saw the crime being committed.

You could instead do a scam and have the person co-sign it making them appear complicit.

Another way is to put drugs in the person's possession. Ideally however you would formulate a conspiracy to make them look like they are dealing drugs not merely in possession of them. Because I'm guessing drug possession may not be enough to do the trick.

Which of those 3-4 things would you say would get someone sent to prison?

BTW thanks to mrfizzy for the detailed respone. I would like his opinion on this as well. This thread is super cool.

#19 Posted by DarthOrange (3499 posts) -
@egg said:

@DarthOrange said:

Go rob a bank with a loaf of bread. Hit the cash register with the bread and tell them to give you all their money. It is (mostly) non-violent and a federal offence, meaning you will go to federal prison (assuming you are in the U.S.A.).

But how to frame someone and get them sent to prison? You would have to rob a place yourself and then put the stolen money in that person's possession. Meaning nobody saw the crime being committed.

You could instead do a scam and have the person co-sign it making them appear complicit.

Another way is to put drugs in the person's possession. Ideally however you would formulate a conspiracy to make them look like they are dealing drugs not merely in possession of them. Because I'm guessing drug possession may not be enough to do the trick.

Which of those 3-4 things would you say would get someone sent to prison?

BTW thanks to mrfizzy for the detailed respone. I would like his opinion on this as well. This thread is super cool.

Putting stolen money in possession of someone who is innocent wouldn't hold up in court, and neither would the others you mentioned. Plausible deniability and all that jazz. If the dude really doesn't know what the hell is going on it should be obvious in court. During the questioning process it would be easy to see if had a mind capable of committing the crime in question. 
 
If you really wanted to fuck the dude over you would need the help of a small child. Tell them to make a report that the person you want sent to jail wanted to touch their pee pee. It would be the word of the child vs the word of accused pedophile. Perhaps before making the accusation litter the bottom of his bed with ropes, alcohol, a Catholic Bible, condoms, a camera and other freaky things you will find in your local sex shop. Chances are they will be facing hard time, and people on juries have no pity for child abusers, nor do most judges or people in general. Depending  on the state he is in he will probably make a false confession and take a plea bargaining just to avoid death row.  
 
But why the hell would you want to do an awful thing like that? Did someone shit in your cereal this morning or is this really just something you started to wonder about as you were going on with your day?
#20 Posted by adam1808 (1214 posts) -

I really don't want to know the thought process that led to this post.

#21 Edited by egg (1339 posts) -

@DarthOrange said:

@egg said:

@DarthOrange said:

Go rob a bank with a loaf of bread. Hit the cash register with the bread and tell them to give you all their money. It is (mostly) non-violent and a federal offence, meaning you will go to federal prison (assuming you are in the U.S.A.).

But how to frame someone and get them sent to prison? You would have to rob a place yourself and then put the stolen money in that person's possession. Meaning nobody saw the crime being committed.

You could instead do a scam and have the person co-sign it making them appear complicit.

Another way is to put drugs in the person's possession. Ideally however you would formulate a conspiracy to make them look like they are dealing drugs not merely in possession of them. Because I'm guessing drug possession may not be enough to do the trick.

Which of those 3-4 things would you say would get someone sent to prison?

BTW thanks to mrfizzy for the detailed respone. I would like his opinion on this as well. This thread is super cool.

Putting stolen money in possession of someone who is innocent wouldn't hold up in court, and neither would the others you mentioned. Plausible deniability and all that jazz. If the dude really doesn't know what the hell is going on it should be obvious in court. During the questioning process it would be easy to see if had a mind capable of committing the crime in question. If you really wanted to fuck the dude over you would need the help of a small child. Tell them to make a report that the person you want sent to jail wanted to touch their pee pee. It would be the word of the child vs the word of accused pedophile. Perhaps before making the accusation litter the bottom of his bed with ropes, alcohol, a Catholic Bible, condoms, a camera and other freaky things you will find in your local sex shop. Chances are they will be facing hard time, and people on juries have no pity for child abusers, nor do most judges or people in general. Depending on the state he is in he will probably make a false confession and take a plea bargaining just to avoid death row. But why the hell would you want to do an awful thing like that? Did someone shit in your cereal this morning or is this really just something you started to wonder about as you were going on with your day?

lol, why a catholic bible?

edit: If a child can say he touched him, why not just have someone claim they bought drugs from him? Wouldn't that work too? For added effectiveness that someone could even be an adolescent.

#22 Posted by DarthOrange (3499 posts) -
#23 Posted by ajamafalous (11592 posts) -

Just imagine that I posted that gif here of Abe Simpson walking into and immediately out of this thread.

#24 Posted by SlashDance (1764 posts) -

Kill the kid, torch the house.

#25 Posted by DarthOrange (3499 posts) -
@egg said: 

edit: If a child can say he touched him, why not just have someone claim they bought drugs from him? Wouldn't that work too? For added effectiveness that someone could even be an adolescent.

Drugs are a weaker argument then child molestation and that shit is likely to get investigated thoroughly. If the person is innocent then the truth will be revealed. Where did the person get his drugs? Where are the rest of his drugs? Who are his other customers? The claim would be dropped really quickly unless you know before hand that the man is a drug dealer and he really would be found guilty if investigated. At that point though you are not so much framing someone as much as you are snitching on them. 
 
With things like murder or child abuse trials and investigations are much more fueled by emotion and everyone wants to see someone punished for committing the heinous crime, even if that person is innocent. Seeing as how it isn't exactly possible to lie about someone being murdered you are left with lying about child molestation.
#26 Posted by RPGee (759 posts) -

I'm monumentally confused. Is this even happening? Why is there discussions of framing people for murder, drug trafficking and pedophilia? Just stop, please!

This is not the Giant Bomb I signed up for, sir! Good night!

Online
#27 Posted by jerseyscum (853 posts) -

Drug possession works. Just get busted with a kilo or two of cocaine.

#28 Posted by Jaytow (673 posts) -

Attention seek much?

#29 Posted by Linkster7 (1002 posts) -

This topic scares the shit out of me.

#30 Posted by Breadfan (6586 posts) -

Having too many parking tickets.

#31 Posted by Jimbo (9712 posts) -

Get caught speeding at exactly 417mph.

#32 Posted by WalkerTR77 (1348 posts) -

Maybe making a huge amount of drugs (crystal meth?) and just do nothing with them. Morally you haven't actually done anything but legally you're going to big boy jail (probably).

#33 Posted by PenguinDust (12414 posts) -

Probably conspiracy to commit terrorism by hijacking an airliner.

Kidnapping an unrelated child would get to sent up the river pretty far as well.

Of course, you could commit a very minor crime like stealing a loaf of bread, but then keep escaping from jail thereafter. You'd eventually wind up in maximum security prison because you kept getting out of less secure facilities.

#34 Posted by Slag (3368 posts) -

this crappy question belong on Yahoo! Answers.

Ask there and they shall have the answers you seek.

Online
#35 Posted by super2j (1611 posts) -

In Canada I know u get 15 years for using pepper spray. I remember there was a case were some lady was assaulted by some guy and she used pepper spray and ran. Court sent the assaulter away for 3 years and gave the lady 15 for using something illegal.

There is also pirating stuff on the internet. I have heard people getting absurd time for that.

#36 Posted by ChristianConservativeVinny (95 posts) -

@WalkerTR77 said:

Maybe making a huge amount of drugs (crystal meth?) and just do nothing with them. Morally you haven't actually done anything but legally you're going to big boy jail (probably).

This is much less bad than, like, framing someone for child molestation. Jesus. The only reason the act of making the drugs is bad is that it leads to you selling them, but if you just bring them into existence you haven't done anything even arguably wrong until you're planning to sell them. The only arguments you could make to say that that's a bad thing is that it's disrespectful to the government, which gives you roads and defends you and educates you, or that it increases the risk of someone getting the drugs.

#37 Posted by Fattony12000 (6378 posts) -

The cops have already been alerted to your behaviour and are on their way to lock you up ASAP.

Online
#38 Posted by Snail (8479 posts) -

I'm not sure what to say about the "I'm sure that you guys know all about going to jail!" part of your post.

#39 Posted by Nev (535 posts) -

Punch some random old lady on the street in front of a police station?

#40 Posted by Red (5991 posts) -

Either he's in love with a murderer or his brother is a murderer and he wants to break him out of prison a la Prison Break.

#41 Posted by Phatmac (5686 posts) -

I come to Giant Bomb for Criminal advice!

#42 Posted by habster3 (3595 posts) -

I don't think I should give the OP any advice...

#43 Posted by I_Stay_Puft (2604 posts) -

You could sample Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" without any regard to the original artist for your video game website.

#44 Posted by pyromagnestir (3987 posts) -

Buy a human slave? Or sell one?

#45 Posted by TheHumanDove (2403 posts) -

Just pull a ConAir. Go to a bar with your attractive pregnant gf, and have some scummy villains try to rape her, and when thats happening you fight them off and accidentally kill one of them. Then you go to prison, and theres this crazy airplane event and you land down in Vegas.

#46 Posted by NegativeCero (2928 posts) -

Send "mysterious" white powder to someone? Even hypothetically, this is a weird thing to wonder.

#47 Posted by Demoskinos (13927 posts) -

This thread is creepy. Flagging. =|

#48 Posted by Raven10 (1600 posts) -

Who just wonders this? I guess if this stuff interests you then study law? If you really are trying to frame someone for a crime then posting your plans on a public website is probably among the stupidest things you could have done. I hope you are really just interested and not planning on getting someone thrown in jail. That would be a horrible thing to do.

#49 Posted by rachelepithet (1262 posts) -

It seems, in America, barely any murderers or sex predators actually go to jail for much time. Heh, not to mention hackers/privacy-criminals/identity thieves, or wall st. schemers. Prison system is mostly (black) people in for things that shouldn't be illegal (drugs) or (white) people in for the things they did to get drugs (burglaries, prostitution, stolen truck, public intoxication and trespassing a that stacked up over multiple incidents over the years into significant jail time.

#50 Posted by CaLe (3678 posts) -

This is the question that keeps me up at night. Grievous bodily harm is what I'd got with.