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#1 Posted by HaterGamer (18 posts) -

When I say "worst" I mean disgusting,  vile, offensive, or disturbing. So whats the worst one you guys have heard.

#2 Posted by AhmadMetallic (18955 posts) -

The Aristocrats ofcourse

#3 Posted by HandsomeDead (11863 posts) -

Affirmative Action.

#4 Posted by ThePhantomnaut (6197 posts) -

A black guy in Japan.

#5 Posted by cstrang (2381 posts) -

Probably something horribly anti-Semitic that my housemates told me when I started dating my current girlfriend (she's Jewish).  I can't recall specifics.  However, if "worst" were to mean horribly unfunny, I'd throw out any of the jokes Joe Piscopo told during the MCP quick look.

#6 Edited by melcene (3056 posts) -

    

   
Also, I have one that I learned years and years ago about condoms and twinkies that's pretty damned disgusting.   
 
 
 A man and his wife were having sex, and when they finished he threw the condom out the window. The wife instantly yelled at him saying that a kid could find it. The man went out looking for it but couldn't find it. Then, he saw a kid. He asked the kid if he might have found anything that belonged to him. The kid replied that he only found a twinkie. The man offered $5 for the twinkie. When the kid returned home, his mom asked him where he got the money. He said, "I sold a twinkie to a man, but the joke's on him, I sucked out the cream filling!"    
#7 Posted by Hot_Karl (3309 posts) -

Who deader than Kanyon?

#8 Posted by nintendoeats (5975 posts) -
@Ahmad_Metallic said:
" The Aristocrats ofcourse "
This is the correct answer.
#9 Posted by MadeinFinland (839 posts) -

Anything relating to dead babies.. god I hate those jokes. I don't know why i always laugh.

#10 Posted by IBurningStar (2161 posts) -
@Ahmad_Metallic said:
" The Aristocrats ofcourse "
The Aristocrats will always be the correct answer.
#11 Edited by Elbon (368 posts) -

I would tell my jokes, but I'll be banned for doing so. Unless a mod is will to let me tell em.

#12 Posted by B0nd07 (1699 posts) -

The Aristocrats

#13 Posted by Everyones_A_Critic (6295 posts) -
@Elbon said:
" I would tell my jokes, but I'll be banned for doing so. Unless a mod is will to let me tell em. "
You can't just say that and not tell it, c'mon!
 

#14 Posted by HandsomeDead (11863 posts) -
#15 Posted by CptChiken (1987 posts) -

The right answer is always aristocrats

#16 Edited by Elbon (368 posts) -
#17 Posted by Everyones_A_Critic (6295 posts) -
#18 Posted by nickux (1385 posts) -

My brother's version of the Aristocrats. Scary stuff

#19 Posted by cancerdancer (314 posts) -

Women's rights.

#20 Posted by JoblessTerence (349 posts) -

Not a joke, but any performance that Carrot Top has ever done.

#21 Posted by Djeffers03 (2545 posts) -
#22 Posted by Example1013 (4834 posts) -

Probably the version of the lawyer joke that uses black people. Or the one that uses Mexicans. Or the one that uses Jews.
 
Do you know that a ton of immigrant jokes around today have actually just been recycled over the past 100+ years, as in slightly altered to fit whatever current ethnic group should be hated on, but without changing the central premise of the joke.
 
This one was really nasty:
 


I heard it on some uncensored comedy central late night stand-up special.
#23 Posted by Example1013 (4834 posts) -
@Djeffers03: I also like this one:
 
Women driving
#24 Posted by EpicSteve (6479 posts) -

"What did Snake say after drinking out of a rusty beer keg?"
 
"...Metal Beer?"

#25 Posted by Example1013 (4834 posts) -
#26 Posted by AhmadMetallic (18955 posts) -
@HandsomeDead said:
" What would you call The Flintstones if they were black? 
 
"
i dont.. get it ? does it have anything to do with the flinstones living in the stone age, like slavery ? or what 
 
 
@cancerdancer said:
" Women's rights. "
hahahahahah amazing joke !
#27 Posted by HaterGamer (18 posts) -
The gorgeous woman from next door popped round today and said,"Hello handsome, are you free tonight?"

I said, "Er... wow... yes, yes I am."

She said, "Brilliant, can you watch my daughter while I go out?"

Ah well, when one door closes, another one opens
#28 Posted by JTHomeslice (239 posts) -
@VinceNotVance said:
" Who deader than Kanyon? "
Yes!
#29 Posted by GilbertMordinAndSullivan (442 posts) -
#30 Posted by Elbon (368 posts) -
@GilbertMordinAndSullivan:  Love that one
#31 Edited by Capum15 (4859 posts) -
@EpicSteve said:

" "What did Snake say after drinking out of a rusty beer keg?"
 
"...Metal Beer?" "

Epic. I feel bad for chuckling.

Edit: Not really.
#32 Posted by Everyones_A_Critic (6295 posts) -
#33 Posted by natetodamax (19190 posts) -

The Aristocrats. I nearly lost it.

#34 Posted by Afroman269 (7387 posts) -

This thread is going south so goddamn fast.

#35 Posted by StarvingGamer (8128 posts) -

I have so many dark evil horrible jokes but I REFUSE to tell them on the internet where people will have eternal proof of how sick and twisted I really am.

#36 Posted by SuperSambo (2858 posts) -

Matt Kessler

#37 Edited by Mrnitropb (2090 posts) -

An old man, and an old woman are resting in a nice sheltered park outside their retirement home. The old guy starts up a conversation, and the two hit it off quite well, and find they have a lot in common, including being widowed. They meet there every day, and lament that they didn't find each other when they were younger and more "active". As it is, the man convinces the woman to put her hand down his pants, and hold him, just for old times sake. They both find it kind of soothing, and a little romantic, and continue this routine on ce a week or so. Things are very good for them. 
 
Then one day, the old woman walks by the park, and sees the old man, but with another woman. And she has her hand down his pants! She turn away, and walks off in a huff, fighting back tears. She confronts the old man at dinner, having stewed about it the rest of the afternoon.  
 
"Why, why would you do that? Who is she? What does that blue-haired hussy have, that I don'?!" 
 

 
@SuperSambo said:
" Matt Kessler "
Boom!
#38 Posted by SuperSambo (2858 posts) -
@Ahmad_Metallic said:
" @HandsomeDead said:
" What would you call The Flintstones if they were black? 
 
"
i dont.. get it ? does it have anything to do with the flinstones living in the stone age, like slavery ? or what 
 
I cant tell if you are joking or not, but ill give my take incase you arent.
 
You could change Flintstones with anything, its just what you would call any black person (in the joke).
#39 Posted by AhmadMetallic (18955 posts) -
@Mrnitropb said:
" An old man, and an old woman are resting in a nice sheltered park outside their retirement home. The old guy starts up a conversation, and the two hit it off quite well, and find they have a lot in common, including being widowed. They meet there every day, and lament that they didn't find each other when they were younger and more "active". As it is, the man convinces the woman to put her hand down his pants, and hold him, just for old times sake. They both find it kind of soothing, and a little romantic, and continue this routine on ce a week or so. Things are very good for them. 
 
Then one day, the old woman walks by the park, and sees the old man, but with another woman. And she has her hand down his pants! She turn away, and walks off in a huff, fighting back tears. She confronts the old man at dinner, having stewed about it the rest of the afternoon.  
 
"Why, why would you do that? Who is she? What does that blue-haired hussy have, that I don'?!" 
 
"
hahahah thats not too horrible :P 
 
 
@SuperSambo said:
" @Ahmad_Metallic said:
" @HandsomeDead said:
" What would you call The Flintstones if they were black? 
 
"
i dont.. get it ? does it have anything to do with the flinstones living in the stone age, like slavery ? or what 
 
I cant tell if you are joking or not, but ill give my take incase you arent.  You could change Flintstones with anything, its just what you would call any black person (in the joke). "
oh i get it.. so its dead on racist without any clever meanings. gotcha
#40 Edited by v2xJFresh (142 posts) -
#41 Posted by TheSeductiveMoose (3617 posts) -
#42 Posted by Red12b (9084 posts) -
@Ahmad_Metallic said:
" The Aristocrats ofcourse "
well...yeah
#43 Posted by Red12b (9084 posts) -
@Ahmad_Metallic said:
" @HandsomeDead said:
" What would you call The Flintstones if they were black
 
"
i dont.. get it ? does it have anything to do with the flinstones living in the stone age, like slavery ? or what 
 
...
#44 Posted by AhmadMetallic (18955 posts) -
@Red12b:  hey excuse me for thinking there was something clever about it, dick!  :P 
 
and quit double posting !!
#45 Posted by habster3 (3595 posts) -

"I fucked your grandma."  
"My grandma's dead, you asshole!" 
"I know." 
"..."

#46 Posted by SuperSambo (2858 posts) -
@Ahmad_Metallic said:
" @Mrnitropb said:
" An old man, and an old woman are resting in a nice sheltered park outside their retirement home. The old guy starts up a conversation, and the two hit it off quite well, and find they have a lot in common, including being widowed. They meet there every day, and lament that they didn't find each other when they were younger and more "active". As it is, the man convinces the woman to put her hand down his pants, and hold him, just for old times sake. They both find it kind of soothing, and a little romantic, and continue this routine on ce a week or so. Things are very good for them. 
 
Then one day, the old woman walks by the park, and sees the old man, but with another woman. And she has her hand down his pants! She turn away, and walks off in a huff, fighting back tears. She confronts the old man at dinner, having stewed about it the rest of the afternoon.  
 
"Why, why would you do that? Who is she? What does that blue-haired hussy have, that I don'?!" 
 
"
hahahah thats not too horrible :P 
 
 
@SuperSambo said:
" @Ahmad_Metallic said:
" @HandsomeDead said:
" What would you call The Flintstones if they were black? 
 
"
i dont.. get it ? does it have anything to do with the flinstones living in the stone age, like slavery ? or what 
 
I cant tell if you are joking or not, but ill give my take incase you arent.  You could change Flintstones with anything, its just what you would call any black person (in the joke). "
oh i get it.. so its dead on racist without any clever meanings. gotcha "
Thats only my take remember. The meaning could have gone straight over my head.
#47 Posted by Musou (381 posts) -
#48 Posted by HaterGamer (18 posts) -
@Capum15: BEST JOKE EVER
#49 Posted by Bruce (5264 posts) -
@HaterGamer:  
 
A son goes up to his father. He says, "Father, father, come quick!" The father goes over, and says, "Son, what is it?!" The son says, "Father, guess what, I'll never believe it!" The father says, "My G-d son, what is it?" The son says, "I JUST HAD MY FIRST BLOWJOB TODAY!" The father says, "Son, that's amazing! Fantastic! How was  it?" 
 
#50 Posted by Aegon (5473 posts) -

This might sound bad coming from a Jew but if I'm not mistaken, that's the point of this thread. 
 
A Christian, a Muslim and a Jew came upon a magic genie lamp. They summoned the genie who preceded to ask them what their wishes were.
The Christian was the fastest to come up with his wish, " I wish that all muslims died" , the Muslim immediately said "I wish for all Christians to perish"
The genie then asked the Jew, "What do you wish for?" The Jew said, "I'm satisfied with their wishes coming true".