What's wrong with kids these days? it's the parents fault, mostly

@Brodehouse said:

What a bunch of self-serving intentional ignorance.

I wonder which part of the thread this is directed at. While the OP is wrong about "these days" I am pretty sure he has a right to feel like he does regardless.

@imsh_pl said:

@HarlequinRiot said:

There will always be bad kids and there will always be bad parents. That's never not been true and it will never stop being true. The expression "these days" is ridiculous.

That's incorrect. Human beings do not posess inborn characteristics. There's little to no scientific evidence to suggest that there's such thing as a 'goodness gene' or a 'badness gene'. No child is the way it is because 'it's been born that way'. Science pretty much uniformly agrees that the behaviour of a child is almost exclusively shaped by its parents and environment. So children who grow in homes where corporal punishment, name-calling or other forms of abuse are present have an increased chance of becoming aggressive, developing depression, being addicted to alcohol/drugs in their adult life, etc.

I don't think he's saying that some people are genetically pre-disposed to being bad people. I think he's saying to suggest that only in recent years that bad children and bad parents have been propagating is ridiculous. There have always been bad parents and bad children throughout history. Of course they are created because of how they were raised or other issues but there has and always will be something to turn some people in one direction or another.

This just in: Kids Use Foul Language. We'll bring you a special report about this clear sign of the downfall of society.

@HarlequinRiot said:

There will always be bad kids and there will always be bad parents. That's never not been true and it will never stop being true. The expression "these days" is ridiculous.

People seriously have their heads up their asses if they think things/people were genuinely better "back in the day".

@imsh_pl said:

(so the lying is not inborn, its conditioned)

Another devil's advocate (my code for "I'm not good at debates"): the motivation is conditioned, but the capacity for lying is not. After all, for this to be possible, wouldn't a child have to recognize that they have the ability to distort the truth or whatever?

@mordukai: I really sympathize with you, man. I have a 1 1/2 year old daughter now and I'm terrified of what she will experience when I finally have to let her fly on her own. At the moment I'm a stay-at-home Dad, and I'm hoping that helps her keep the innocent soul other parents lack at keeping. I know kids can be cruel, I grew up as a "nerd," and it's disgusting the lack of involvement parents have with their children now a days (which is pretty much why they end up the way they do).

Keep strong and just tell her that that sort of non-sense shouldn't be tolerated by a lady and to keep her chin up high. She obviously has a supportive Dad(dy) and that will go a long way in the end.

Also, ignore the jack-asses that are mentioning "these days" as if you rhetorical expression was mean't to be taken literally. The idea that we utilize the crutch of "boys will be boys" and etc is a testament to the lack of understanding of the problem. It's one of the reasons that I hate when people without kids try to be a part of the conversation involving them.

It's a combination of the media and bad parenting that is making most kids like this. Parents can limit media exposure to an extent, but ultimately they'll get some through their friends, other family members and peers; we live in an age where most 7 year old's have iPhones. Access to the hot garbage that is "popular culture" is fast and easy, and there is no way to completely stop it. The worst part is that most of it targets younger audiences, and a lot of them eat that shit up. With this said, I think parents should be more accountable as to what their children see in their own households.

It's a really difficult situation, and I don't envy OP's role as a parent.

Shitty parents, on the other hand, are shitty parents. There's really not a whole lot you can do about that, other than being passive-aggressive at little-league sporting events and Parent-Teacher conferences.

@ImmortalSaiyan said:

What is with all the negativity in this thread? Yeah, some kids act out and say hurtful things. But to call them straight up bad for that is not fair.

I know right?

I've met some nice kids before. Not all of them are snotty brats.

@SethPhotopoulos said:

@imsh_pl said:

@HarlequinRiot said:

There will always be bad kids and there will always be bad parents. That's never not been true and it will never stop being true. The expression "these days" is ridiculous.

That's incorrect. Human beings do not posess inborn characteristics. There's little to no scientific evidence to suggest that there's such thing as a 'goodness gene' or a 'badness gene'. No child is the way it is because 'it's been born that way'. Science pretty much uniformly agrees that the behaviour of a child is almost exclusively shaped by its parents and environment. So children who grow in homes where corporal punishment, name-calling or other forms of abuse are present have an increased chance of becoming aggressive, developing depression, being addicted to alcohol/drugs in their adult life, etc.

I don't think he's saying that some people are genetically pre-disposed to being bad people. I think he's saying to suggest that only in recent years that bad children and bad parents have been propagating is ridiculous. There have always been bad parents and bad children throughout history. Of course they are created because of how they were raised or other issues but there has and always will be something to turn some people in one direction or another.

Yup, that's what I was getting at.

@mutha3: i...wat..why did i post that twice an hour later

what am i even

@Superkenon

I-I'm a non-native speaker!(that was pretty bad :()

Anyway, Flynn effect, bro. Its not really a matter of opinion.

I work in retail and it's common i will see parents with young kids, children alone and teens, with the latter being the worse of the lot. So rude and horrible, very destructive. I've watched a 2 year old swearing and the parent sitting there laughing and enjoying while saying 'isn't he cute?' to people. Absolutely disgusting in todays society.

@mordukai said:

Maybe I'm just old fashioned in my ways, perhaps from m military upbringing, but I don't think a 7 year old child should speak like that and think it's ok.

Let me ask you this. Are you a parent?

Alright I grew up in the military and that is currently my job, I will admit that I have no kids, and that I am 19, however I do spend an uncomfortable amount time (I always get really sick when I'm around them) around my friends kids, my tiny little cousins, and I volunteer to read to little kids and help with events at the elementary school. Soooo I have no parenting skills but my next post has nothing to do with telling you how to parent your kid so yeah no pulling the "Do you have kids?" argument on this one.

What kind of military upbringing did you have? Cause only about 3 of my friends throughout my entire life have grown up squeaky clean and have done no wrong to anybody. Seriously dude as a little kid I always got into trouble, and learned to swear at a young age, and I learned to swear from everybody else. Hell soldiers swear in front of their kids all the time, more-so than civilians in my opinion. And the vast majority of teenagers that were military brats (that I knew) always got into huge trouble since they always moved around and their reputation never followed them to a new town so they could do more dumb shit. Hell I was one of those kids. Don't say the military makes disciplined kids cause I'm gonna say that in my opinion and experience, the military is no better than the civilian world. Honestly I hate it when people say that kind of stuff. Fuck I hated my father growing up, and did stupid shit to spite him, in fact that was almost always the reason for military brats doing dumb things.

I'm not trying to be a dick or anything but just gonna point out that... Us military brats are just as bad. Hell I remember being 14 and making this one girl cry all the time cause whenever she annoyed me I would just tell her to "Shut your disease infested mouth you fucking whore". And a ton of kids my age would laugh at that, yeah I agree that's a horrid move on my part but; I was a kid.

"Kids these days" is a stupid phrase. There have always been asshole kids and good kids, and there will always be asshole kids and good kids, unless we start gene doping babies to replace anti-social behaviour linked genes, but that's a whole other ethical can of worms.

"What's wrong with kids these days?" - Every generation ever.

Every parent believes they're doing the right thing.

Kids, good or bad, always had parents thinking their child was the greatest, most polite kid, etc.

Kid's are almost universally shitty, and it's pretty fucking judgmental to assume that their parents are shitty without evidence. I was a shitty kid, but my parents are pretty cool.

I have read plenty regarding the "importance" of parents in regards to how kids turn out. And the old rule tends to ring true; "Parents are often given too much credit for children who turn out well, and too much blame for children who turn out poorly. "

@Karkarov said:

@Brodehouse said:

What a bunch of self-serving intentional ignorance.

I wonder which part of the thread this is directed at. While the OP is wrong about "these days" I am pretty sure he has a right to feel like he does regardless.

He technically has the 'right' to feel like the world is made of magical rainblossoms if he'd like, so let's not get into rights. I can understand that he's upset because his daughter is upset. That's empathy, that's a basic human function (arguably the main reason we have society). But 'these kids' and 'these days' and 'perfect little angel' is entirely invented to pump his own ego. Straight up.

When I was a kid the most hateful people where the ones who were goody two-shoes infront of teachers and parents.

man i read this and see stuff like this myself and i always think how i just need more money.... and i'm not poor. as in money can determine where you live which can eliminate nearly 1/2 the problems that could be caused by living in "lesser" area with the majoirty of lesser parental figures. oh the dream of living in a fenced in community where your kids go to a nice school and can still ride their bikes outside without fear of getting beaten up or abducted lol.

best i'll probably be able to do is the nicest public schools in the area and a safe well off neighborhood though, should be plenty i hope.

GL and kudos to any parents that still teach manners and responsibility, sad to say that's unique now.

It sucks for you and your kid that she was on the receiving end of such insults, it's not a pleasant experience, however, I always do get rather sceptical of these arguments along the lines of "Kids these days are the worst" or "It's largely the parents fault". It seems that every generation thinks that the next one along is far more morally depraved than theirs ever was, and if this were really the truth we'd all be so morally corrupt by this point that we wouldn't be able to function as a society. We all have an egotistical compulsion to believe that our generation is the best, and that the next one along just isn't living up to us.

When we have a bias we will look for anything that confirms that bias, while glossing over contradicting information. Kids getting bullied is never a good thing, it's something we should stop, but is it really something to do with kids these days or has it always been a problem? The way I see it, kids have always been dicks, and in fact the kind of bullying that does on now does generally seem to be tamer than that of previous generations, despite some very bad shit still going on. I also don't think parents being dumb or neglectful is a new problem. Again, it's a terrible thing, it's something we need to stop, but considerable chunks of the general public being dumb and irresponsible is definitely nothing new.

Just blaming the parents also seems very reductionist. If a child is behaving poorly, well then obviously something is at least slightly wrong in their parenting situation, but parents are far from the only factor on a child's behaviour, and they don't have to be neglectful monsters for a child to be behaving poorly. The human mind is complex and so learning is a process complex, we can't boil down a child's behaviour to entirely be the product of one factor in their life, kids are affected by their siblings, their friends, their potential bullies, the media, their schooling, and their natural dispositions, not just their parents.

I told a girl to shut the hell up when I was 6 and we went onto be pretty good friends and I've turned into a right politically correct little poet I 'ave so not everything is fucked. Also you listen to Mark Kermode so I know exactly where you stand

I blame video games, Taco Bell and gay marriage.

Having been a kid at one point, I can confirm that we like to do and say shitty mean things when we don't believe there will be consequences. I don't think that has anything to do with "these days" or modern parents, it's all because humans that aren't fully developed are put in social situations with other underdeveloped individuals.

@Video_Game_King: I agree that the capacity for lying is present in children. It's even important for it to be this way. If children had no capacity for lying, there would be nothing good in them telling the truth instead of distorting it.

I remember when I was a kid... back in the day sometime. And the tone between kids have definitely gotten worse in my experience. I regularly hear 8 year olds talk about tits, dicks, bitches, fucking and so on. We didn't talk like that when I was a kid.

I guess society is to blame, the world is a rotten place, and so it produces many rotten people.

I used to say "bad shit" as a kid, but I wasn't an asshole. I only said that to buddies of mine when we messed around.

Asshole kids are just asshole raised.

Yeah, they should have the shit beaten out of them just like you beat your daughter. That'll teach them.

You should have gone up to those kids and slapped them upside the head... or just found out who their folks were and gone for a word, or something.

It's society's fault. We need socialism.

People are dicks.

Kids are people.

Ergo, kids are dicks.

@Landon said:

Also, that.