With a storied baseball pedigree and an unmatched record, Jose Canseco achieved worldwide fame and legendary status among his peers. However, he fell into a deep depression that was fueled by pills and booze. His story is that of a true American hero.
This story was aped and spat on by Giant Bomb's newest idiot, Dan Ryckert. On November 13th, 2012, Dan released his first novel called Air Force Gator. The characters, themes, and general story were all taken directly from Canseco's life. The whoremonger, Air Force Gator was a funhouse reflection of Canseco's darkest days and eventually his most handsome highs.
Perhaps rice crispy dick Rykcert did this great story justice, but for a year he gave Canseco no credit. That changed when Canseco finally called Ryckert out on his hot butt pee bullshit.
Recognizing this retelling of his life, the great Canseco offered his hand to this first time author. His hand was met with piss and shit.
Eventually Canseco agreed to write the forward to the next part in his life story, Air Force Gator 2: Scales of Justice. Because Dan didn't have any real talent or real job, he paid Mr. Canseco in sausages instead of money. Canseco graciously accepted and wrote this:
To this day, Dan Ryckert has yet to acknowledge the greatness of Jose Canseco and has even continued his bitter war against him. Hopefully Dan will see the error in his ways by the time he starts writing Air Force Gator 3.
Log in to comment