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Posted by falserelic (5437 posts) 1 month, 12 days ago

Poll: Would you ask someone out if you don't have a car? (340 votes)

I wouldn't have a problem with it, can't hurt. 52%
Nah, I rather have a car before I go on a date. 14%
I have before and everything went fine. 30%
I have, but it all went wrong. 3%

( It's kinda of a follow up to this thread I made awhile back.)

Without dragging this on. I've been getting closer to this female co-worker at my job. Today she asked me for my phone number. It caught me by surprise, but we exchanged numbers. Then later on I ended up hugging her for the first time, and I hugged her again after she was about to leave the store. Next thing I started feeling obligated to ask her out on a real date. We have hungout during our breaks at work, but now I feel like I got to step it up abit further.

The problem is I don't have my driver's license. I asked my co-workers if I should ask her out even with having a car. So far I've got mixed reactions, and now its all up to me at this point. Right now I'm thinking about calling her up, but it is late. I don't know if that's a good idea or not at the moment.

#1 Posted by DookieRope (45 posts) -

Drunkenly dry humping a date late at night on public transit is a rite of passage into adulthood. Go for it dude.

#2 Posted by falserelic (5437 posts) -

Drunkenly dry humping a date late at night on public transit is a rite of passage into adulthood. Go for it dude.

Well right now were texting each other.

#3 Posted by Blu3V3nom07 (4212 posts) -

It depends on the girl. I would try hard to make it work, though.

Online
#4 Posted by Sinusoidal (1520 posts) -

Only in North America is this a thing at all. Trust me, people are successfully hooking up without cars the world over.

#5 Edited by pyromagnestir (4324 posts) -

Well I'm the exact wrong person to ask, I have a car and don't ask anyone out.

But theoretically if you like someone and want to hang out with them not having a car shouldn't stop you. Within reason.

#6 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

I'm married and I don't drive.

#7 Edited by CorruptedEvil (3399 posts) -

Step it Up.

#8 Posted by Clonedzero (4200 posts) -

Yeah go for it. Who cares? If she is that shallow for not wanting to date you cus you dont have a car she isn't worth dating anyways.

If you're going out, just say "meet me at ____ at ___" show up on time however you get to places, and if nothing else you guys can walk places. Walking is actually a pretty nice date activity, gives you time to have a conversation and if you cant think of anything to say, just comment on your surroundings. BAM.

#9 Posted by OldGuy (1557 posts) -

Legally blind. Don't have a choice. It's fine. Also, if you having a car is a requirement (as well as you must be older and taller than she is) well, she's not the one that you want...

#10 Posted by Fuzz (33 posts) -

It really does depend on the person she may be but, honestly, it's this:

Only in North America is this a thing at all. Trust me, people are successfully hooking up without cars the world over.

Having no car is a non-issue. It never has been one for myself or for my friends who don't drive - so basically all of 'em.

Besides, you can work having no car to your advantage: a walk to and from the place can be romantic (depending on the distance, though) and if walking is out of the question then ordering a cab is definitely a standard move.

A first date can and does leave a solid impression so make it unique, or at least interesting. Having no car is a good start to that. :)

#11 Posted by T_wester (194 posts) -

Now I don't know how dating works in the US, I cant fathom why you need to acquire a car before you can ask a girl out on a date.

#12 Posted by StarvingGamer (8251 posts) -

Yeah, I went out with a couple girls in high school and didn't actually get my license/a car until I was 18. Granted one of them turned out to be some crazy ex-gangbanger who was trying to go straight but ended up freaking out on me and threatening to have people come to my home and beat me up. But that wasn't because I didn't have a car.

#13 Edited by PhoenixDownPillow (85 posts) -

Yeah sure. I have done in the past.

#14 Edited by believer258 (11914 posts) -

For those who might be asking, remember that the US is a big and pretty spread out place. You don't need a car in some places, but if you're not in a big city then a car quickly becomes a necessity.

#15 Edited by OldGuy (1557 posts) -

Oh, wait, this isn't here yet:

That's better.

#16 Posted by adam1808 (1500 posts) -
@t_wester said:

Now I don't know how dating works in the US, I cant fathom why you need to acquire a car before you can ask a girl out on a date.

This. Stop living in places where things are far away from other things.

#17 Posted by Zeik (2444 posts) -

It might depend on where you live, and your general transportation situation. Like say, if you don't live in a heavily urban area where you can walk/bike places, and your only source of transportation is bumming rides off of your parents/friends it could maybe make things awkward. But if you can generally get to and from places on your own it's probably not a big deal.

Online
#18 Posted by ToTheNines (723 posts) -

This must be a cultural/american thing maybe, because I have many times! Well... quite a few times. I am a bit of pussy when it comes to asking anyone out.

#19 Posted by ViciousBearMauling (1103 posts) -

As long as there are things you can do together that don't require a lot of travel. You could always meet somewhere, go for a walk, have a picnic. Just make sure it's a situation where you guys can actually talk to each other. Don't be boring and take her to a movie.

A car is not required, and if this girl is put off by the lack of a car, maybe it would be better to look elsewhere.

#20 Posted by Brendan (7811 posts) -

This question is dependant on the urban density of the area you live in, and for me since I live in a place that requires a car to get anywhere, I would feel uncomfortable trying to go on dates without a means to easily transport myself.

#21 Posted by Captain_Insano (1540 posts) -

Do taxis not exist in the world you live in?

#22 Posted by Zeik (2444 posts) -

Do taxis not exist in the world you live in?

I don't know about him, but Taxi's are pretty much non-existent where I live. I'm pretty sure the only time people bother with Taxi's is maybe coming from the airport.

Online
#23 Posted by Evilsbane (4619 posts) -

@oldguy said:

(as well as you must be older and taller than she is)

This is so common to it literally makes my head spin due to how much I have heard this. Not a "Well I would prefer that" just straight up a 100% deal breaker it just baffles me to no end.

#24 Posted by Sbaitso (535 posts) -

For those who might be asking, remember that the US is a big place. Not as big as India or China, but still pretty big and spread out. You don't need a car in some places, but if you're not in a big city then a car quickly becomes a necessity.

This is off topic, but just so you know the US is slightly larger in area than China and like three times the size of India. Not sure what you mean here.

#25 Edited by Djratchet (669 posts) -

If the girl doesn't want to date you just because you don't have a car, maybe it just isn't meant to be. But she's into you, so I think you'll be ok. I started dating my current girlfriend before I had a car, and it worked out fine. I told her right at the start about it, just so it was known (we live in a somewhat rural area, public transit is practically nonexistent, so a car is absolutely necessary to get around) and she was totally okay with it. It made for a good excuse for us to end up at my place at the end of our dates when she had to drop me off, so I guess you can say things turned out better than expected.

#26 Edited by ThatOneDudeNick (587 posts) -

If she requires a car, she's not worth your time. That being said, I dated with no problems back when I had no car. It can be difficult if it bothers you to have a girl drive you around (sometimes it can be hard to get over "The man should drive" mentality).

I've dated females that didn't have a car and didn't have any problems picking them up and such, because I liked to hang out with them. It should be the same the other way around also.

People without cars date. Especially in a city with public transportation, it's not that weird for someone not to drive. Don't over-think it. You work together, she's already likely noticed that you're not driving to and from work. The only two outcomes of any situation are that it works out or doesn't. Just go for it. Be confident and go on a date if you like her. When you mention not having a car, don't be like "umm, wellllll you see..." Just tell her and be done with it.

Of course having your own car is ideal, but it's not a requirement by any stretch of the imagination.

#27 Edited by Giantstalker (1653 posts) -

Where I live, not having a vehicle is basically one step removed from being homeless. Unless you have a great, non-DUI reason (surprisingly common here also) then yeah it's a nonstarter.

#28 Posted by RonGalaxy (3170 posts) -

@sbaitso said:
@believer258 said:

For those who might be asking, remember that the US is a big place. Not as big as India or China, but still pretty big and spread out. You don't need a car in some places, but if you're not in a big city then a car quickly becomes a necessity.

This is off topic, but just so you know the US is slightly larger in area than China and like three times the size of India. Not sure what you mean here.

If he was talking about population then he would be right, but he's obviously talking about the actual size of these countries. Probably just a misconception.

#29 Posted by FengShuiGod (1486 posts) -

If you live in the city it is fine, but where I grew up, you had to have a car. If you were over 18, male, and didn't have a car you were considered a chump. The closest thing from my house was a grocery store that was 3 miles away. I only lived 6 or 7 miles away from town, but a lot of people were 15-20 miles away. If you were out of high school you had to have a car. If you didn't have a car your options to do something consisted of the tv and the computer. By senior year of high school almost everyone in my class had a car. People don't joke around when they say a car is freedom. America is built around the motor vehicle and in many rural and suburban areas you are extremely limited in what you can do if you don't have a car.

#30 Edited by BaconGames (3423 posts) -

@oldguy: A good citizen of this community.

As for the question, I think it's a bit of a stereotype that you need to have a car to "take someone out." It helps but I can't see how that should be a good reason to not date anyone you like. Do let her know because that's common courtesy but otherwise go for it. Besides, if she has a car, she can just as well take you out somewhere.

#31 Edited by believer258 (11914 posts) -

@sbaitso said:
@believer258 said:

For those who might be asking, remember that the US is a big place. Not as big as India or China, but still pretty big and spread out. You don't need a car in some places, but if you're not in a big city then a car quickly becomes a necessity.

This is off topic, but just so you know the US is slightly larger in area than China and like three times the size of India. Not sure what you mean here.

Huh. I guess that little tidbit was wrong, but my point wasn't. I've edited that post.

#32 Edited by CorruptedEvil (3399 posts) -
@believer258 said:
@sbaitso said:
@believer258 said:

For those who might be asking, remember that the US is a big place. Not as big as India or China, but still pretty big and spread out. You don't need a car in some places, but if you're not in a big city then a car quickly becomes a necessity.

This is off topic, but just so you know the US is slightly larger in area than China and like three times the size of India. Not sure what you mean here.

Huh. I guess that little tidbit was wrong, but my point wasn't. I've edited that post.

They have an insane population but are actually pretty small. The three biggest countries are Russia, Canada and the US.

#33 Edited by ajamafalous (12000 posts) -

For those of you asking who don't live in the US: if dude lives in the suburbs then there's no way he's walking anywhere for a date, nor is there any type of public transportation near his house. You either need a car or need to be able to get rides from other people who have one.

If the girl has a car, then you shouldn't feel bad about asking her out on a date at all (unless you lack self-confidence, in which case sorry bro). She gave you her number so she's obviously interested at least a little. If neither of you have a car then you probably shouldn't.

#34 Posted by Ben_H (3361 posts) -

@oldguy said:

Oh, wait, this isn't here yet:

That's better.

Good stuff. I came here specifically to make sure that was posted. I posted it in his last thread.

#35 Posted by falserelic (5437 posts) -

For those of you asking who don't live in the US: if dude lives in the suburbs then there's no way he's walking anywhere for a date, nor is there any type of public transportation near his house. You either need a car or need to be able to get rides from other people who have one.

If the girl has a car, then you shouldn't feel bad about asking her out on a date at all (unless you lack self-confidence, in which case sorry bro). She gave you her number so she's obviously interested at least a little. If neither of you have a car then you probably shouldn't.

At this point I'm just going to ask her out. Its either going to be a yes or a no. I know if I wait too long she'll lose interest. She's been talking to other guys at the job, but I'm sure those guys haven't came as close as me. As a co-worker told me I gotta stop caring what people think and go for it. Now this time I'm going to ask her out face to face...It's my mission.

#36 Posted by Karkarov (3109 posts) -

That depends.... do they have a car ;p?

#37 Posted by falserelic (5437 posts) -

@karkarov said:

That depends.... do they have a car ;p?

She doesn't have one either. Only thing I can think of is to meet her at my job. Then go to different places within the area. If she says no then aleast I can say I tried.

#38 Posted by CorruptedEvil (3399 posts) -

She doesn't have one either. Only thing I can think of is to meet her at my job. Then go to different places within the area. If she says no then aleast I can say I tried.

Just go for it. The longer you wait the longer you will have to think about it and doubt yourself.

#39 Posted by falserelic (5437 posts) -

@falserelic said:

She doesn't have one either. Only thing I can think of is to meet her at my job. Then go to different places within the area. If she says no then aleast I can say I tried.

Just go for it. The longer you wait the longer you will have to think about it and doubt yourself.

I know. After that second hug I had with her. Where her breast bumped up against my chest I gotta ask her out...just gotta. I remeber my co-worker ask me ''I bet that hug felt great'', and that fucking asshole was right.

#40 Edited by Karkarov (3109 posts) -

@corruptedevil said:
@falserelic said:

She doesn't have one either. Only thing I can think of is to meet her at my job. Then go to different places within the area. If she says no then aleast I can say I tried.

Just go for it. The longer you wait the longer you will have to think about it and doubt yourself.

I know. After that second hug I had with her. Where her breast bumped up against my chest I gotta ask her out...just gotta. I remeber my co-worker ask me ''I bet that hug felt great'', and that fucking asshole was right.

Yeah what the hell dude, the worst thing that can happen is they say no.

#41 Posted by falserelic (5437 posts) -

@karkarov said:

@falserelic said:

@corruptedevil said:
@falserelic said:

She doesn't have one either. Only thing I can think of is to meet her at my job. Then go to different places within the area. If she says no then aleast I can say I tried.

Just go for it. The longer you wait the longer you will have to think about it and doubt yourself.

I know. After that second hug I had with her. Where her breast bumped up against my chest I gotta ask her out...just gotta. I remeber my co-worker ask me ''I bet that hug felt great'', and that fucking asshole was right.

Yeah what the hell dude, the worst thing that can happen is they say no.

It will suck if she says no, but hell even if I did have a car I still would have to ask her out. I'm going to do what I gotta do, what I must do. I can't let some other dude cut in front of the line, that wouldn't be fair.

#42 Edited by CorruptedEvil (3399 posts) -
@falserelic said:

I can't let some other dude cut in front of the line, that wouldn't be fair.

#43 Posted by Rotnac (770 posts) -

I've had no issues in the past asking someone out without owning a vehicle. It really just depends on what area of the world you live in. I'm fortunate enough to be in an area where getting a taxi or using public transit is more convenient than being stuck in traffic a bunch with a car.

It could be just me but I personally think dating a co-worker is a crazier sort of thing than to be unsure about asking someone out due to a car/no-car issue.

#44 Edited by falserelic (5437 posts) -

@rotnac said:

I've had no issues in the past asking someone out without owning a vehicle. It really just depends on what area of the world you live in. I'm fortunate enough to be in an area where getting a taxi or using public transit is more convenient than being stuck in traffic a bunch with a car.

It could be just me but I personally think dating a co-worker is a crazier sort of thing than to be unsure about asking someone out due to a car/no-car issue.

There was a co-worker at my job that told me the samething, but when I was 330 pounds I had no girls interested in me. On top of that I've spent years pretty much by myself and feeling like a waste of life. I've long since lost that weight and got an ego boost, and now I just want to have some fun. There's co-workers at my job that's seeing each other, they seem happy. I'm tired of being shy and just sitting back, I done with that shit.

#45 Posted by csl316 (8693 posts) -

Well, when I was in high school at happened. But it's certainly not ideal if you don't have trains and whatnot readily available.

#46 Edited by Rebel_Scum (712 posts) -

There's no reason why you can't ask her out. Whats the worst that could happen? She says no, so what. At least you tried/know. Going by your OP and what you've been saying it sounds like you're both naturally heading into a relationship of some form. Good luck Falserelic!

I asked out my fiance when I had no job, no car (still don't), and pretty much no money. She still said yes. What the heck was she thinking!?

#47 Posted by falserelic (5437 posts) -

There's no reason why you can't ask her out. Whats the worst that could happen? She says no, so what. At least you tried/know. Going by your OP and what you've been saying it sounds like you're both naturally heading into a relationship of some form. Good luck Falserelic!

I asked out my fiance when I had no job, no car (still don't), and pretty much no money. She still said yes. What the heck was she thinking!?

If she found out I went to a strip club that would be bad. I told her about my experience in Vegas. I told her I went places and got drunk, and of course she asked what kind of places. I said you know just places then I tried to see if she had a boyfriend. By saying ''if you have a boyfriend Vegas would be alot fun'' she giggled so I don't know. Then first time when I went to hug her in the backroom. I did the friend hug where you slap the five and hug from the side, but she said she wanted a normal hug, hug me again so I did. Then she was talking about walking up to the bookstore during lunch, but I would rather have a day to ourselves. Because I don't want to go back to work when I'm having fun.

#48 Posted by joshwent (2208 posts) -

@falserelic: At the rate you're going this shouldn't be a problem. You'll just be able to ride your hoverboards to the movies in 2032.

Seriously though, just fuckin' ask her out already. If she's into you, a ride or the lack thereof is a non-issue. If she'd think less of you if you have to take the bus together or she drives or whatever, dating her would be a waste anyway.

Not sure how old you are, but I'm 30 so I speak from at least a bit of experience. A rejection is not the end of the world, or even something to think less of yourself from, it's permission to give up spending your precious mental time on someone who isn't worth it anyway. And courting a person who doesn't like you for you from the start might let another who does slip by in the meantime.

Girls aren't a Halo combat puzzle where you realize that you had to use a different weapon than you thought to succeed. They're not a dialog tree that you fuck up and have to reload to get the quest outcome just right. They're people like you who are attracted to some and not attracted to others, and the only way to find out is to just put it out there. The rest will just fall into place.

You can do it duder!

#49 Posted by Jimbo (9814 posts) -

Go for it, just make sure you are touching her on the shoulder when you explain the car situation. She'll be so aroused I doubt she will even notice what you are saying.