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#1 Posted by Hizang (9359 posts) -

#2 Edited by Sackmanjones (5215 posts) -

I give them nothing! But take from them, EVERYTHING! 

#3 Posted by Gladiator_Games (535 posts) -

Yeah! 100% of duders are assholes!

#4 Posted by wrecks (2434 posts) -

Candy. I'm not lame.

#5 Edited by mandude (2670 posts) -

Peanuts. They must know the disappointment I knew so well every Halloween.

#6 Posted by Rainbowkisses (519 posts) -

I remember those people who would give out pamphlets about dental care. Those people are the worst.

#7 Posted by TooWalrus (13341 posts) -

Yeah, candy. Also, razor blades.

#8 Posted by Mister_V (1672 posts) -

When I had a remote controlled burglar alarm I would wait for them to walk up to the door and knock.. then set it off and watch them run away...

I miss those days.

#9 Posted by HarlechQuinn (455 posts) -

I would go with the "classics", poisoned candy or an apple containing a razor blade...

#10 Posted by LikeaSsur (1686 posts) -

Crunch or Kit Kat. They deserve to know what true deliciousness is.

#11 Posted by ValiantGoat (387 posts) -

I yell "Garbage Day" and then shoot them.

#12 Posted by RPGee (775 posts) -

Even as a savage foreign bastard who doesn't follow or practise Halloween, I would get a big bowl of candy. I would even make sure it's good stuff, Starbursts and the like, because more than likely that bowl will be hella full by the end of the night.

As it is, I'm spending my Halloween night taking a girl to the ballet, and am actually excited for it.

#13 Posted by Ravenlight (8057 posts) -

Cigarettes. I don't smoke cigarettes, but I'll buy some to get kids hooked early.

#14 Posted by ImmortalSaiyan (4748 posts) -

If I had candy to give, that.

#15 Posted by pyromagnestir (4386 posts) -

Whip out my... hard candy

#16 Posted by RecSpec (4655 posts) -

Ice cubes.

#17 Posted by TorgoGrooves89 (336 posts) -

Sacrifice them to Satan.

#18 Posted by Rainbowkisses (519 posts) -

@ValiantGoat: You seem to have your holidays confused.

#19 Posted by Tim_the_Corsair (3053 posts) -

Usually I do my fly up and then tell them this is Australia and we don't celebrate Halloween here until we are adults and using it as an excuse to get wasted and hook up with slutty zombie nurses.

I then give them a 45 minute lecture (with supporting images and puppet show) on what exactly getting wasted and hooking up with a slutty zombie nurse entails.

You'd think they'd get the concept by now.

#20 Posted by Scrawnto (2505 posts) -

I don't have any candy, so I wouldn't open the door. I also don't have any decorations though, so the likelihood of anyone knocking on my door is pretty low. Also I live on the third floor in an apartment building. So yeah.

#21 Posted by ZeForgotten (10368 posts) -
@Gladiator_Games said:
Yeah! 100% of duders are assholes!
Well not 100%, I picked A. 
But yeah, why so surprised?  
Drop a grenade at a "Duder" gathering and the world would be a better place
#22 Posted by Silvergun (298 posts) -

Each gets a generous ladle-full of steaming hot creamed corn.

#23 Posted by Capum15 (5137 posts) -
@Sackmanjones said:
I give them nothing! But take from them, EVERYTHING! 
Thread should have ended at this.
#24 Edited by JasonR86 (10027 posts) -

...take off my pants.



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#25 Posted by Bawlsz (85 posts) -

Nobody knocks on my door.

#26 Posted by ValiantGoat (387 posts) -

@Rainbowkisses: I thought I may have been doing something not quite right, but hey it's gotten me this far.

#27 Edited by laserbolts (5470 posts) -


#28 Edited by Colourful_Hippie (5004 posts) -

I won't be opening the door because I most likely won't be home.

@JasonR86: Fantastic, that just came to mind too.

#29 Posted by Sploder (918 posts) -

I am dressed as Jimmy Saville, WHAT NOW KIDDIES

#30 Posted by SJSchmidt93 (4998 posts) -

Can o' spinach.

#31 Posted by Gonmog (652 posts) -
#32 Posted by RenMcKormack (1087 posts) -

I open the door and give them the Stunner. To teach them the important lesson of not trusting anyone. In particular , no one should trust the Texas Rattlesnake.

#33 Posted by Genkkaku (755 posts) -

Where's the option to say Trick or Treat first thereby negating there authorship on the term and legally being able to steal there candy?

#34 Posted by Giefcookie (626 posts) -

I'd probably be pretty freaked out since we don't do Halloween here. Instead kids do the trick or treating thing during Easter.

#35 Posted by Fredchuckdave (7413 posts) -

Man this poll had such potential, needs more options!

You open the door then slam it in their face

You open the door and run away in terror

You open the door and give them an Angus Bacon and Cheese

You open the door and swear incessantly

Halloween should still be a horrifying experience for kids and adults alike! What is this fun bullshit.

#36 Posted by FrankieSpankie (228 posts) -

I'm going to give out pictures of myself, then when the kids say, "What's this?" I'll say, "Eye candy" and wink at them.

#37 Edited by Petiew (1384 posts) -

I would post a completely untrue and somewhat random and unfunny comment on a videogame forum. If I was feeling particuarly racy it would include a giantbomb meme. I would then proceed to print out multiple copies of said comment, fold them up and present them to the children who knocked on my door. Finally, I would touch their shoulders and fake my own death, before getting used to my new office.
Or I would give them sweets, but no kids live here.

#38 Posted by Hamst3r (4893 posts) -

a homemade snickers bar, if you know what I mean.

#39 Posted by JasonR86 (10027 posts) -

@Hamst3r said:

a homemade snickers bar, if you know what I mean.


#40 Edited by Warfare (1674 posts) -

@pyromagnestir said:

Whip out my... hard candy

#41 Posted by _Chad (999 posts) -

Turn off the porch light and shut the curtains.

#42 Posted by TheSouthernDandy (4012 posts) -

...are you a cop? You have to tell me if you're a cop.

#43 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -

Tell them to stop indulging in these Earthly past-times. No good can come of such intrusions.

#44 Posted by BabyChooChoo (5392 posts) -

@Sackmanjones said:

I give them nothing! But take from them, EVERYTHING!

*slow clap*

#45 Posted by Dvsshark (47 posts) -

Chocolate covered rat poison, it saves them from the horrible damnation that is adult hood. Happy Halloween everybody.

#46 Posted by Pezen (1809 posts) -

@Sackmanjones: I salute you. Especially the part where the parents go "This is madness!" and you scream "THIS. IS. SPARTA!!" and kick them off the porch.

#47 Posted by Doctorchimp (4171 posts) -

Who's home on halloween?

#48 Posted by SexyToad (2939 posts) -

I don't. I don't live in a neighborhood. So if someone did come to my house wanting candy, that would be weird.

#49 Posted by Ramone (3076 posts) -

Kick them in the balls and steal their sweets.

#50 Posted by TheHumanDove (2521 posts) -

Candy. Because toothpaste and healthy snacks are for nerds.