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Posted by falserelic (5394 posts) 1 year, 22 days ago

Poll: You think chivalry is dead? (216 votes)

Chivalry will never die being smooth with the ladies always leads to victory, I can be a nice guy at the right times. 46%
It died and its six feet under, fuck chivalry, the ladies killed it and don't deserve it. 23%
Im a playa first and for most, being a pure hearted gentleman isn't my style. 3%
It could work, but I have mixed feelings about it. 13%
I got no opinion on it Im not good at getting a girl's attention. 15%

(Chivalry is being a gentlemen towards a lady, if you was curious about what it means)

I thought I'll make this topic after having a funny conversation with my cousin. Basically she feels like guys don't try to be gentlemen anymore, and gave me a lecture about how I should treat a lady. Me personally I can be a gentlemen if I want too, but depending on the girl that may not work. Hell most of the girls I've met had some fucked up attitudes, and I wouldn't even think about doing something special for them.

#1 Posted by OllyOxenFree (4970 posts) -

Yes and women killed it.

#3 Edited by Brendan (7734 posts) -

The whole chivraly thing is historically based around gender inequality, so lets just drop the whole thing and be equally polite as human beings.

#4 Edited by ThunderSlash (1637 posts) -
#5 Edited by rebgav (1429 posts) -

Chivalry does not mean "being a gentleman towards a lady," it refers to the oaths and customs of knighthood.

#6 Edited by Blackout62 (1336 posts) -

It died because you should be a gentleman to ladies, other gentlemen, smizmar, Phil Fish, and whatever else may have you.

#7 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -
#8 Posted by SpencerBoltz (85 posts) -

@brendan said:

The whole chivraly thing is historically based around gender inequality, so lets just drop the whole thing and be equally polite as human beings.

Agreed, lets be god damned human beings for once.

#9 Edited by Kraznor (1578 posts) -

I feel like its more like "Chivalry is patronizing and kinda always was but society was just kind of used to it". I don't like being treated differently based on factors I had no choice in, so I try not to make others feel different for the same reason.

Politeness in general is still awesome, and I heartily endorse it, but not "chivalry" in the sense outlined above.

#10 Edited by EpicSteve (6479 posts) -

@brendan said:

The whole chivraly thing is historically based around gender inequality, so lets just drop the whole thing and be equally polite as human beings.

You say that and technically it's true. But literally every first date I've been on everything from me opening car doors, paying for the evening, and other stupid stuff is what got me laid or a second date. Any woman I've been with tells me they like being treated like a lady from a gentleman. Both sides expect or are impressed by different things.

#11 Posted by stubbleman (306 posts) -

It's not that women killed chivalry, it's more that at some point, people got the idea that chivalry was some sort of trick for getting laid. It was originally a code of ethics to keep young men in line, that is to say not getting laid. It was basically just a big brainwashing tool to try and trick young people into thinking that being a boring, stuffy puritan was actually hotter than acting like regular old horny peasant folk. So unless you find the idea of separate beds appealing, then you should maybe question the place of chivalry in modern romance. That's not to say men shouldn't treat the ladies nice. But chivalry is more about both sides wishing away their own sexuality than anything actually healthy or positive.

#12 Posted by Oldirtybearon (4664 posts) -

I've never met a woman who didn't appreciate being treated like a lady.

I never treated 'em like ladies, of course. That's probably why I don't got any ladies.

#13 Posted by Tarsier (1057 posts) -

theres two kinds of chivalry. one from a knight and one from a goblin. sadly 90% of the chivalry that takes place in this world is of the latter.

#14 Posted by SpaceInsomniac (3628 posts) -

I really dislike your poll choices, because chivalry is based on respect for the opposite gender, not "smoothness" or whatever. In fact, I'm probably more likely to open a door for someone twice my age, because it's not only an issue of chivalry, but one of respecting your elders. It's also probably the way that they grew up.

When I behave in a chivalrous manner, and a woman makes it known to me that she would rather I didn't do that, I just make a mental note for the future and treat that person how they wish to be treated.

#15 Posted by mandude (2669 posts) -

I thought that chivalry had something to do with knights?

Well, whatever it is we're talking about, I think it's horrendously old fashioned. If I were to have treated any of my girlfriends "like a lady", they'd laugh at me and wonder what fucking world it is that I live in.

#16 Posted by falserelic (5394 posts) -

I really dislike your poll choices, because chivalry is based on respect for the opposite gender, not "smoothness" or whatever. In fact, I'm probably more likely to open a door for someone twice my age, because it's not only an issue of chivalry, but one of respecting your elders. It's also probably the way that they grew up.

When I behave in a chivalrous manner, and a woman makes it known to me that she would rather I didn't do that, I just make a mental note for the future and treat that person how they wish to be treated.

That is true, but after having the conversation with my cousin about females, it slipped my mind.

#17 Posted by CaLe (3944 posts) -

This poll is displaying way too much confidence for my liking. I also would prefer if the woman treated me like I was the lady, only not in a manly way.

#18 Edited by pyromagnestir (4283 posts) -

I, for one, try to be chivalrous, but I just look silly, what with my erection poking out in front of me the whole time.

#19 Edited by SoldierG654342 (1758 posts) -

Hopefully it is. Altering your behavior just because someone is female, not because a specific request or agreement is made, is creepy and weird. My girlfriend actually thanked me back when we first started dating for not doing stereotypically chivalrous things like opening and holding door and insisting on paying because she finds that type of stuff belittling. She likes being treated like a person, not an abstract concept know as "lady."

It shouldn't be "don't curse in front of a lady," it should be "don't curse in front of a lady if she asks politely that you not."

#20 Edited by wjb (1653 posts) -

(Obligatory Dave Chappelle stand-up about chivalry)

#21 Posted by falserelic (5394 posts) -

@wjb said:

(Obligatory Dave Chappelle stand-up about chivalry)

#22 Posted by Rick_Fingers (524 posts) -

If by chivalry you mean being a gentleman, then yeah, absolutely. I don't limit that to women though, and I certainly don't do it to get laid (I am married anyway)

#23 Edited by erhard (397 posts) -

Only for people for whom gender doesn't govern treatment.

#24 Edited by mlarrabee (2910 posts) -

Mostly, but the given definition is wrong.

Remarkably enough, Wikipedia actually has surprisingly accurate information about The Code of Chivalry.

Chivalry required protection of the vulnerable (any age or gender), honesty under pressure, loyalty to a fault, and devotion to the state church. It did include respect for women, but along with respect for your fellow knights and respect for as many as didn't prove undeserving.

My mother, a very strong and independent woman, advised me toward chivalrous conduct. So far I've gotten no complaints and many, many compliments from many, many diverse people, all due my mother.

#25 Posted by AuthenticM (3706 posts) -

None of your five poll answers are satisfactory. If you think they represent the entire range of opinions one can have on chivalry, you are mistaken.

#26 Posted by Stonyman65 (2656 posts) -

If by chivalry you mean being a gentleman, then yeah, absolutely. I don't limit that to women though, and I certainly don't do it to get laid (I am married anyway)

Same here (except for the married part).

Just be polite.

A long time ago my grandfather told me to treat everyone how I would like to be treated, and be a gentleman. So that's what I do. No need to act like an asshole unless they give me a reason to.

Also, the Marine Corps rules are some pretty good life advice as well. It's gotten me this far.

  1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
  2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
  3. Have a plan.
  4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
  5. Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
#27 Edited by eskimo (475 posts) -

I love it when she pays for dinner. If chivalry can work both ways I'm all for it. If its just some thing that the man always has to do for the woman, good riddance.

#28 Edited by SpaceInsomniac (3628 posts) -

@spaceinsomniac said:

I really dislike your poll choices, because chivalry is based on respect for the opposite gender, not "smoothness" or whatever. In fact, I'm probably more likely to open a door for someone twice my age, because it's not only an issue of chivalry, but one of respecting your elders. It's also probably the way that they grew up.

When I behave in a chivalrous manner, and a woman makes it known to me that she would rather I didn't do that, I just make a mental note for the future and treat that person how they wish to be treated.

That is true, but after having the conversation with my cousin about females, it slipped my mind.

Eh, it happens. I've made plenty of polls where I wish I had included a different option or two.

Hopefully it is. Altering your behavior just because someone is female, not because a specific request or agreement is made, is creepy and weird. My girlfriend actually thanked me back when we first started dating for not doing stereotypically chivalrous things like opening and holding door and insisting on paying because she finds that type of stuff belittling. She likes being treated like a person, not an abstract concept know as "lady."

Did you ASK her if she would like you to pay for your date? Then you altered your behavior JUST because someone is female.

Ever go out with a male friend and offer to pay for their dinner and / or movie? If you did, would you not be bothered if they kept expecting you to pay and never offered to pay in return? Is it just as likely that would bother you with a man as it would with a woman you were dating?

There is nothing "creepy or weird" about a man altering his behavior around women, and all of this is really quite subjective in the first place.

#29 Posted by falserelic (5394 posts) -

None of your five poll answers are satisfactory. If you think they represent the entire range of opinions one can have on chivalry, you are mistaken.

Well anyone can share their own views on chivalry. My ears is all open and ready to listen.

#30 Posted by McGhee (6094 posts) -

If only I knew any women that were ladylike . . .

#31 Posted by falserelic (5394 posts) -

@mcghee said:

If only I knew any women that were ladylike . . .

From the gifs you post. I thought you would have a strong interest in Japanese women.

#32 Posted by BeachThunder (11794 posts) -

Let's hope so.

Doing something for someone purely based on their gender is the polar opposite of equality. I can't help feeling that the majority of 'chivalry' is very belittling.

What are your thoughts on holding a door open for someone because they're black...or gay...or Jewish...?

#33 Posted by Clonedzero (4196 posts) -

Damned if you do, Damned if you don't.

#34 Posted by SilentPredator (129 posts) -

Came here to see Dave Chappelle and was not disappointed.

#35 Posted by AuthenticM (3706 posts) -

Chivalry was born from patriarchy. It involves self-induced moral obligations toward females, based on the unconscious belief that they are the weaker sex, can't take care of themselves and need assistance from males. I don't subscribe to that. This does not mean that I am never nice to them. The nuance lies in the motive.

#36 Posted by falserelic (5394 posts) -

Let's hope so.

Doing something for someone purely based on their gender is the polar opposite of equality. I can't help feeling that the majority of 'chivalry' is very belittling.

What are your thoughts on holding a door open for someone because they're black...or gay...or Jewish...?

I've done it before, but it was because I didn't want to slam the door when their right behind me, and not be rude.

#37 Edited by Hunter5024 (5600 posts) -

I am very polite to ladies. I am also polite to everyone else (I hope.)

#38 Posted by Godlyawesomeguy (6396 posts) -

I don't understand these poll options at all.

#39 Edited by Belegorm (396 posts) -

Chivalry isn't specifically directed at women; it's the idea that those who have the ability to do so have a duty to protect those weaker than them. Throughout most of history this has included most women. Therefore, when you bring up the idea of chivalry people will often cry "Sexism!" and any defence of the idea is pointless.

#40 Posted by McGhee (6094 posts) -

@mcghee said:

If only I knew any women that were ladylike . . .

From the gifs you post. I thought you would have a strong interest in Japanese women.

Oh I do. But I live in Tennessee for the time being and those are in short supply out here.

#41 Edited by falserelic (5394 posts) -

I am very polite to ladies. I am also polite to everyone else (I hope.)

Its all good your a cool guy. I've never had any negative thoughts about you sense I've been on GB.

#42 Posted by adam1808 (1425 posts) -

This is a poor set of options. Chivalry should be dead because in an ideal world everyone is polite to everyone. Unless you're fishing for a date or something there's no reason why you should treat women any differently from men.

#43 Posted by Hunter5024 (5600 posts) -
#44 Edited by SpaceInsomniac (3628 posts) -

@authenticm said:

Chivalry was born from patriarchy. It involves self-induced moral obligations toward females, based on the unconscious belief that they are the weaker sex, can't take care of themselves and need assistance from males. I don't subscribe to that. This does not mean that I am never nice to them. The nuance lies in the motive.

So do you also oppose the predominant aggressor laws that many feminist organizations support?

#45 Posted by deathstriker666 (1337 posts) -

@stubbleman: I fucking love seperate beds. I roll around in bed even while asleep, if I don't I'll wake up with major back pains. Plus more covers for me!

#46 Edited by EpicSteve (6479 posts) -

@spaceinsomniac said:

@authenticm said:

Chivalry was born from patriarchy. It involves self-induced moral obligations toward females, based on the unconscious belief that they are the weaker sex, can't take care of themselves and need assistance from males. I don't subscribe to that. This does not mean that I am never nice to them. The nuance lies in the motive.

So do you also oppose the predominant aggressor laws that many feminist organizations support?

That's pretty much true. But women like being respected and most I've ran into expect a certain level from any man trying to woo them. Regardless of what it technically means, today it's pretty much opening doors, paying for the date, and not farting around women. My friend and I were just talking about why she broke up with her last boyfriend and it was because "his mother didn't teach him how to treat a lady". I like my girlfriend staying with me so I'll maintain the chivalry I've implemented which turned her on in the first place. And she'll maintain whatever the female equivalent of chivalry is. No woman is like, 'See that guy that held the door open for me!? That sexist motherfucker!!!"

#47 Posted by DoctorWelch (2774 posts) -

Fuck bitches, get money.

#48 Edited by joshwent (2156 posts) -

I hold the door open for everyone. That way I get a better view of their ass.

#49 Posted by SpaceInsomniac (3628 posts) -

@spaceinsomniac said:

@authenticm said:

Chivalry was born from patriarchy. It involves self-induced moral obligations toward females, based on the unconscious belief that they are the weaker sex, can't take care of themselves and need assistance from males. I don't subscribe to that. This does not mean that I am never nice to them. The nuance lies in the motive.

So do you also oppose the predominant aggressor laws that many feminist organizations support?

That's pretty much true. But women like being respected and most I've ran into expect a certain level from any man trying to woo them. Regardless of what it technically means, today it's pretty much opening doors, paying for the date, and not farting around women. My friend and I were just talking about why she broke up with her last boyfriend and it was because "his mother didn't teach him how to treat a lady".

I just have an issue when feminists--or anyone, for that matter--take the consideration afforded to women through the practice of chivalry, and turn it into some ugly thing about the evils of patriarchy, and how men think women are inferior.

Trust me, nobody in the history of mankind seriously thought women were incapable of opening a fucking door. It has always been about respect.

#50 Edited by ImmortalSaiyan (4676 posts) -

@brendan said:

The whole chivraly thing is historically based around gender inequality, so lets just drop the whole thing and be equally polite as human beings.

Nailed it.