Your Weirdest Dreams (no nightmares they are cheating and nerd sh

So I've been on a weird streak of particularly bizarre night dreams recently, the most disturbing of which was one where I was involved in a car crash and when I woke up in the hospital I had a horizontal zipper just above my dick. Which I later had to explain to the singer of Arcade Fire, I mean that part makes sense I listen to them pretty regularly but I have no idea where the crotch zip came from.

So, what are some of your weirdest dreams and what do you think inspired them

I've got lots. I was pregnant while wearing a ski jacket once and was also fined by the captain of a Boeing 747 for sitting on the plane in midflight. Another time my old class mate from pre-school was trapped in a deadly dance with Marie Antionette in the great palace of Versaille whilst I had to witness it from a distance wearing Victorian garb and carrying a duffelbag of...something. Another time I got fired from my job and all of my co-workers decided to leave with me by way of clinging to each other's back while riding on unicycles. Finally I was trapped in my sister's room with a bunch of friends as a bunch of Daleks were banging on the door from outside. Our secret weapon? A pen that once clicked on the top made you completely invisible, except for your genitals.

That plus one of my colleagues from college was black for some reason even though he's white.

Edit: Don't ask me what inspired them because I don't even know myself. I don't even do drugs.

Edit 2: Almost forgot. I had one dream where I was sorting out my black socks. In case you didn't know, sorting out black socks is a fucking nightmare because black socks come in like, fifty shades of black. Worst of all, the laundry basket full of socks was also full of CUSTARD. I know you said no nightmares but I genuinely woke up in cold sweat that night.

I'm not telling because they're all perverted

Rick Santorum came to Canada for some reason, and needed a place to stay, so naturally I let Rick Santorum stay with me, all was fine until one day I woke up and couldn't find my dog anywhere, so I go downstairs to see if Rick Santorum has seen my dog, but what I found was Rick sitting in a satanic ritual circle eating my dogs legs while my dog was in the corner alive, but without legs. More happened but I forget what else there was now.

I'm feeding pieces of Larry King to a Giant Chicken. I had that dream in 1999 or 2000 and I still can't shake it.

Oh I remember, I called the police, but they wouldn't believe me, until one day I discovered he took pictures of what happened, so I took those to the police and they went to get him, but he wouldn't come peacefully and got shot in the face with a shotgun.

I have one dream that I always share when this comes up. I had to applaud my imagination the next morning.

So, the dream takes place in Post-apocalyptic Salt Lake City (which is my home). It looks like any typical post-apocalytpic movie or game, just with big Utah mountains. It's been years since the disaster. Rather than try and repair our once beautiful city, we dedicate our lives to two things: monster trucks, and barbecue. We roamed around the destroyed suburbs looking for items to build bigger, better barbecue grills, then hunted for meat to kill and cook. The big game was the rhinoceros. They had escaped from the zoo, bred, and became a very prominent species. They were also tasty. So, in the dream, we chase down a rhino in our monster truck, and take him home to cook. We saw a rival gangs barbecue, and it was HUGE, and we needed to show them up, so we went scavenging for parts.

I was having sex with this girl and this other guy kept walking in and telling me to hurry up. Then he kicked me out so I started having sex with this other girl in a pantry or something. It was so awesome I woke up. This was last night.

The weirdest and best dream I ever had evolved time traveling to the future and helping my little brother (that was 5 years old when I had the dream) fighting neo nazis that decided to conquer europe. I remember using a aliens machine gun (with the ammo display) and my dad and my brother, that was all grown up the future, helped me hiding from the nazis, since I was from the past and I could be the guy with knowledge to defeat them. How? Don't know. Also the time travel evolved a lightning storm in some place that looked like the grand canyon.

I think the weirdest thing about me is that I've never had a sex related dream. I'm too busy running for my damn life. Oh, another weird thing is that the only people who actually appear in my dreams are people I knew in high school. It's weird because I left high school almost 10 years ago.

My weirdest dream happened years ago but I still remember it vividly.

It consisted of me being a silk worm farmer and owning a factory where the silk making was done. The problem was I had no idea at the time how silk worms actually made silk so my brain came up with a process by which strands of silks were coming out of these worms onto spools and there were loads of them in this giant room. I was giving a tour to guest going like, "And this is where we harvest the silk from the worms to create the lovely silk products we all enjoy."

It then took a turn as after the tour I went back to my office and I was worried about the business as it wasn't doing well. My secretary then came in and said she had some documents for me to look at and I slammed my hands on the desk and exclaimed, "Damn it Sheila, I don't have the time!"

And then I woke up

I had a dream that I was a wolf, hunting squirrels with my little brother. The the dream shifted to me falling in darkness, while a raven with three eyes beckoned me to take flight.

I don't sleep enough to remember my dreams, or even enter REM most of the time. But when I DO dream, it seems to mainly be about real life stuff. More than often enough it'll happen that I remember stuff that never happened or get weird deja vu's for things that I don't recognize. It's actually really freaky, it's like I can't distinguish between dreams and reality very well. At least most dreams seem normal enough, I haven't had anything horrible happen yet.

I was being chased by one of my favorite bands, Eisley; they had minions and everything they were using in an attept to kill me. I was in in an office building, then some guy shows up and kills many of the minions, he hands me his gun and says "I don't need it; I'm a one man army." He then proceeds to rip several of them apart. I jump out of a window onto the roof of another building, where I see a helicopter with a storm trooper in the pilots seat. I think to myself "I could totally steal that. He can't shoot for shit." Then I woke up.

I had a dream where I was a demon. I remember feeling very powerful.

i had a dream where i was a "super hero" but i didnt believe anyone, they kept telling me though.

then i got in a fight with a criminal and someone on the side of the street kept yelling "use your fists! you have the power!" so i did. my fists turned into muffins and then the criminal sat down like a baby and started gnawing on my fists and everyone was cheering, i was super confused in my dream, even more confused when i woke up.

thats it for weird. ive had some pretty horrific nightmares, but you didnt want those, plus they're pretty fucked up.

A recurring one from my childhood was dreaming that I was inside of my mattress but for some reason it was filled with red liquid and I was swimming around.

Last night I had a dream that I was awake and trying to fall asleep but weird tendrils were coming out of my body trying to perform statistical computations.

I had a dream I was crushed, but in a cartoony way, under a piano.

Almost every dream I can remember from the past 5 years of my life involved myself running from, shooting, or watching zombies..

@PicKtoNs_WoodChippR said:

Almost every dream I can remember from the past 5 years of my life involved myself running from, shooting, or watching zombies..

oh god. i had this horrible nightmare about zombies awhile ago. i was trapped in this big ass apartment building, i had this little girl with em and i was fighting my way down. it was this really tense, realistic and scary dream.....UNTIL i got t the lobby. me and the little girl i was protecting were in the middle of the lobby, suddenly zombies start pouring through all the doors and stuff. then suddenly. CLINT FUCKING EASTWOOD jumps through the window on a horse. he's all dressed like good the bad and the ugly. starts blasting zombies with two 6-shooters, then throws me one. gives me a spare horse and yells "LETS RIDE!" then me, the little girl i was saving and clint eastwood literally ride off into the sunset. it was pretty god damn awesome.

I once had a dream, where I was tasked with protecting geese from the flames in a burning castle. But that was difficult for me because naked rats and crabs kept falling out of my ass. That shit was weird.

I've had so many but I right now I can only remember one. I had a dream I was eating my dogs legs. Her leg came right off but she was still alive laying there, looking around like everything was normal. Cept she was missing a leg now. I didn't want to, I was even thinkin WTF?? and kept takin a bite.

Without fail though I always get bad/weird dreams when I'm cold. Like my dreams might start somewhat normal, kick my blanket off and it turns to something like this.

I can't really remember... something about being chased and climbing... and really big sheep? I don't know, it's probably not important.

@BraveToaster said:

I had a dream that I was a wolf, hunting squirrels with my little brother. The the dream shifted to me falling in darkness, while a raven with three eyes beckoned me to take flight.

Ok Bran.

I had a dream when I was really young that I still remember to this day.

I was having a birthday party at my house, and there were kids everywhere doing random birthday party kid things, when suddenly out of nowhere, a bear appeared. Everyone started freaking out and the next thing I know, everyone has disappeared but me. So I started to run into my house screaming for help, but everyone was frozen. I was yelling at my dad to get the shotgun so he could kill the bear (my dad is a pretty avid hunter), but he just stood there frozen in time. There was like some time bubble where only me and the bear existed. I have no idea where to go, or where to hide, so I just run into my room and onto my bed. The bear comes running in, jumps right for me, and...BAM! I'm awake.

Edit: Also, I couldn't help myself:

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

Lots of super-creepy dreams such as:

• Waking up one day, transformed into a woman
• Fighting zombies and dying
• Killing an important political icon

I'm weird.

@Clonedzero said:

@PicKtoNs_WoodChippR said:

Almost every dream I can remember from the past 5 years of my life involved myself running from, shooting, or watching zombies..

oh god. i had this horrible nightmare about zombies awhile ago. i was trapped in this big ass apartment building, i had this little girl with em and i was fighting my way down. it was this really tense, realistic and scary dream.....UNTIL i got t the lobby. me and the little girl i was protecting were in the middle of the lobby, suddenly zombies start pouring through all the doors and stuff. then suddenly. CLINT FUCKING EASTWOOD jumps through the window on a horse. he's all dressed like good the bad and the ugly. starts blasting zombies with two 6-shooters, then throws me one. gives me a spare horse and yells "LETS RIDE!" then me, the little girl i was saving and clint eastwood literally ride off into the sunset. it was pretty god damn awesome.

I would totally watch that.

I had a dream where Fredrik Reinfeldt, Sweden's Prime Minister, was leading a choir which were all members of the Sweden Democrats' youth party. Then Minister of Education Jan Björklund came on stage and started doing Nazi salutes. It's pretty absurd considering how much shit Reinfeldt and especially Björklund tend to fling at the Sweden Democrats during debates. I guess all the right-wing nonsense in Swedish politics is starting to become a blur for me or something.

i had a dream last night where i went to PAX East. the giant bomb panel was in the basement of my old house for some reason. also, before the panel, Miyamoto and Saul Goodman from Breaking Bad made fun of me because i was wearing no pants for some reason.

I had a dream that I was using a swing set as a device to jump through time and space.

@Clonedzero said:

@PicKtoNs_WoodChippR said:

Almost every dream I can remember from the past 5 years of my life involved myself running from, shooting, or watching zombies..

oh god. i had this horrible nightmare about zombies awhile ago. i was trapped in this big ass apartment building, i had this little girl with em and i was fighting my way down. it was this really tense, realistic and scary dream.....UNTIL i got t the lobby. me and the little girl i was protecting were in the middle of the lobby, suddenly zombies start pouring through all the doors and stuff. then suddenly. CLINT FUCKING EASTWOOD jumps through the window on a horse. he's all dressed like good the bad and the ugly. starts blasting zombies with two 6-shooters, then throws me one. gives me a spare horse and yells "LETS RIDE!" then me, the little girl i was saving and clint eastwood literally ride off into the sunset. it was pretty god damn awesome.

Every couple of nights this is my "reality" except no clint eastwood!

I had a dream once where I realized I was in a dream so I continued to hurt myself and try to kill myself fro fun. I threw myself through a 20 story window before waking up.

For over a decade, I've had dreams about a bizarre mall. Sometimes disturbing, but usually just weird. I'm assuming it's a loop of "notice that I keep having them, so I keep having them because I noticed that I keep having them". It's to the point where I actually miss the damn place if I don't dream about it for awhile.

I had a dream all men were created equal.

I've had lots, but since this is a video game website and there are a lot of Persona fans here:

In one dream I was running around the golden corridors of a block of Tartarus when I came across an old man in a wheel chair using a drugged-out Mitsuru as a seat cushion.

No, I don't know, either. Well, aside from the fact that I had spent a lot of time playing Persona 3 at the time.

I have a lot of weird sex dreams when I'm not having nightmares.

One that stands out was that I was dreaming I was 12 years old and home sick from school with the chickenpox. I heard the mailman out the front, and decided to go out and check it because I was expecting the latest issue of Hyper Magazine to arrive, and I was desperately bored.

As I get outside, I look up the street and see a woman jogging towards me in grey sweats. She looks pretty and kind of familiar, but I think nothing of it and turn to go back inside. As I'm walking up the steps I hear a thud, and see the jogger has collapsed. I run to her to help her up, and discover that she is, in fact, Sandra Bullock, in Sydney promoting te release of Speed 9 (I remember the number specifically).

I invite her inside for a drink of water to help her recover, which she accepts. We talk a little bit in the living room and I ask her if she is still really hot considering summer in Australia can be a killer. She said yes, so I suggest she have a cool shower, and I can give her some of my mum's clothes.

She heads into the bathroom while I go searching for something to fit her, and as I'm walking back past the door opens and she asks me if id like to shower with her. I hesitate and then say yes, and next thing you know I'm naked and making out with Sandra Bullock in the shower...as a 12 year old.

Just as things started getting interesting, however, the rest of the cast of Speed 9 show up and climb into the tiny shower cubicle with us and I get crushed into a wall until I eventually suffocate and wake up.

The weird thing with this dream:
- I have never had a thing for Sandra Bullock
- I first had this dream as an adult, and have had it a few times, and for some reason I am always a child in it
- while the reversed situation would be far, far worse, I still feel kind of weird about being a child getting perilously close to boning a famous actress in my dream.

I just fly around the world when I realize im in a dream and can control it.

I have this weird recurring dream everytime I'm down with fever. I walk in a white room, with a sphere in the middle of the room. As I get closer to the sphere, it expands and multiplies, until the point where the room is almost filled with spheres. I feel suffocated, almost crushed by these spheres, then I wake up. Also, there's this one time dream that I became a ninja of sorts, attacking people with a bamboo stick with Jedi like skills. That dream was awesome.

I had a dream discovered a Fight Club in my basement that was made up of the most prominent members of Nintendo, Sony and Microsoft. I watched Kaz Hirai brutally beating Bill Gates.

I most of dreams are quite "normal" everyday stuff that doesn't pan out or alternative versions, and waking up mid-way through the interesting parts. But my fever dreams on the other hand are fucking weird. The affects of a drug free lifestyle is you trip balls on the most simplest of things. Mostly from exhaustion. Also my dreams are in black and white or muted of colors, though I know what color everything is. The other thing is they're never from the first perspective. More like a bad doco.

Most of these fever dreams involve weird food combinations, recipes or odd inventions, though they have nothing to do with my current situation. Some of them are in fact pretty good. Here's one: Dimsim Pie (Patent Pending). I took wonton pasty filled with meatpie filling (the Australian one, not the gross fruit mince shit) , and finally deep fried. It was served with a tomato sauce vinaigrette. I've got no fucking idea how this one came about. I don't even eat meat.

Another one was a group of spiders, who'd lived in my backyard, told me to go "fuck myself", cause my place was shithole. So all of them, generations of spiders, one by one building the same transportation, from packing cushions, sticking them together, crawling into the middle of them and letting the wind blow them to where ever. So long it wasn't my backyard. It was pretty whimsical if you ask me.

Though I'm just glad I don't have weird for weird sake or stupid shit dreams like those losers in David Lynch films or Twin Peaks. Cause if I did, I'd have to kill myself. I fuckin' hate David Lynch!

I don't really dream, or if I do I don't remember them.

They can't have been that interesting.

The last dream I remember having was about 10 years ago and involved Cobra-la. No seriously it did.

I once dreamt I drowned in a ball pool :(

I vividly remember a night where I closed my eyes and saw in detail fireworks forming into castles and disney castles.

I had a fucking weird dream last night. A friend of mine was talking about how he could sense dead people buried in the ground and started digging up my garden, which was suddenly huge. He dug up a coffin and opened it, but I didn't look inside. Then he dug up another coffin and a skeleton with huge blond hair stood up and walked out of the coffin with her arms out, so he hugged the weird skeleton lady.

So I fucking ran through the house and out the front door to the car, which I struggled to get open for ages before waking up.

Now, you might be wondering what's so weird about this dream: I don't own a car and can not drive.

@BoG said:

So, the dream takes place in Post-apocalyptic Salt Lake City (which is my home). It looks like any typical post-apocalytpic movie or game, just with big Utah mountains. It's been years since the disaster. Rather than try and repair our once beautiful city, we dedicate our lives to two things: monster trucks, and barbecue.

So basically your dream takes place in actual modern day Birmingham AL.

I had a dream where I was fighting along with Earth Worm Jim against Sam and Max. I think I must have watched too much Fox Kids back in the day while playing EWJ. It was really boring dream too.

Not a ton of crazy ones. When I was about 8 I had a reoccurring dream where I (from the perspective of someone else) found myself in a parking lot and killed him/me.

@TobbRobb said:

More than often enough it'll happen that I remember stuff that never happened or get weird deja vu's for things that I don't recognize. It's actually really freaky, it's like I can't distinguish between dreams and reality very well.

YES. This happens to me in almost every dream I have and really freaks me out.

As far as my dreams, I have two really weird ones, one of which was very detailed and the other... not so much.Alright, I'll start with the simpler one. I had won a random contest and could consequently have sex with like 5-6 beautiful women under one condition: I had to fuck my mom first. Not really a nightmare, but still incredibly weird and disturbing.

The more complex one was SO confusing. Basically, my family decides to move to the obscure Texan city of Hondo (which is a hellhole) for my father to pursue a new career. My best friend (at the time of this dream, at least) accompanies me there. Everything's going great, until my dad suddenly gives us over to some crime lords. Fortunately, we escape and run through the city, where I see Alf dressed up as a sandwich outside of Tacos To Go (a great Mexican food place where I live). So, I chant the name of the restaurant to him, which results in him turning to me and saying, "You're joking, right, kid?" ANYWAY, we suddenly arrive at an IMax theatre in San Antonio, which doesn't have a floor. Hoping to find some answers (to what, I don't know; dreamlogic), we buy tickets to a multi-screened (about 20) presentation of Dora the Explorer. There, we run into some of my other friends. Since we're bored, we want something else to do, when Mount Everest suddenly appears in the room. We climb up it, push a button on the side to enter the peak, and the dream ends.