Off-Topic

EiS is a choose-your-own adventure story game. It does feature differing backgrounds, varying music, and a story that seems pretty much forgettable and predictable enough that you can pay no attention o it. ‘Hey, you came to a crossroads and you can do the good thing or that bad thing!’ Funny how the good thing seems to advance your character while the worse option just enhances their terrible downfall. The demo doesn’t allow a glimpse very far into the game beyond the basic stereotypes of CYOA books. The audience for this material has to be out there – perhaps the 2/3 nudity rating could somehow entice readers to try and skim to the not so hot details. But in the end, how about turning off the Xbox and opening a book. Or better yet, if you really want a nice choose-your-own adventure type read I’m sure the internet can help you. And the best CYOA? The Worst Day of your Life – a story where where you can either get killed by tornadoes, radioactive waste, aliens, or bulls.

If you want to spend nearly $5 on a game with terribly annoying music, obnoxious gameplay, and absurd difficulty then my I introduce y0m. This game is a puzzle based game in which your monster devowers colored clovers to progress through the levels while avoiding the eight billion pigs that fill the level.  Pacman game you four ghosts because you could try and figure out how to avoid them or use them to your advantage. Having around 30 enemies on the screen going various speeds just makes you have to use the various lame abilities to deflect them so you don’t have  Quick Time Event battle a god damn pig. And a 4 grader with Fruity Loops could come up with a more interesting score. There are a handful of very nice games on the Indy marketplace you can burn your points and this should not be one of those.

The influx of Halloween games only holds back the treble parade on the horizon – a million game dual stick shooters elves shooting candy canes at images of Santa and Rudolph. Night of Doom looks like a Quake 2 era shooter where Mr. Zombie and Zombie Jr. shamble towards you. Naturally, the zombies will attempt to destroy you so you have to use your gun or rather the thing that sounds like a gun but shoots brown projectiles and never reloads or runs out of ammo. Powerups exist like health to recharge your lifebar and grenades to take out groups of enemies but the supply boxes have a wonder habit of appearing and disappearing right as you get close enough to grab them. But with no reload or ammo consumption the game starts to feel like a dual-stick shooter brought down to the first person. This would be an interesting concept if it was pulled off correctly but as with a number of games, NoB is mostly lackluster with drab visuals and poor, generic sound effects. The demo does have multiple difficulties and I would recommend trying it on medium or insane as it can actually get challenging. But there’s not enough substance in the overall package to warrant a recommendation.

Runner is a button masher game that is on the forefront of internet culture. ‘All your base’ reference? Check. ‘I like turtles’? Check. Zombies? Yep, them too. Is it a good game? Even if you’re a fan games involving smashing A and B (or the other games where the pattern is seemingly randomized) to try and cross the finish line first the game is overall mediocre and the music is some random trance music played on a continuous loop. I’m sure you can find some worthwhile flash games that can do the same for free.

In this Japanese based puzzle game, you are Anime McBluehair walking around in mostly barren landscape in search of your tray of Hungry Man. It’s got the usual archetypes of ‘push this but not pull this’, ‘walk over these surfaces but not these’, ‘you need a vehicle what will go over these but not there’ in addition to murderous red trucks and decapitating coyote howls. There is no explanation for any of the game – things in boxes do stuff and cars are sometimes good and animals are always bad. The game is visually boring but still challenging and could be a good purchase for the 80 points offered if you’re a fan of puzzles and can stand basic visuals and j-pop electronic score.

For how good Speed Factory looks, how well it sounds, and for how cheep it is; I really wish I could tell you it’s worth the points. But the game is hampered by a ridiculous learning curve. It’s a music game akin to Guitar Hero or Rock Band where you mimic the displayed colored buttons to the ones on the screen while following the beat. The learning curve, however, is so punishingly severe that it never gives you a moment to get comfortable with the controls and actually enjoy the game. Even on the easiest song offered in the demo the tempo was quick and the number of buttons flying across the screen was dizzying. In addition, the center bar progresses towards the individual who is doing worse and further from the player doing the best. Since this is where the notes originate on the screen that means a failing player gets less time to see the oncoming set of buttons. So, when you are behind it’s usually quite difficult to pull yourself back up if you’ve already lost several sets against our opponent. And harder offered song in the demo is so laughably hard that I literally cackled with hysterics by what the game expected me to do in the demo. It seems that is a case of the designers knowing their game so well that they were not able to understand their fanbase and give an easier learning curve for the player. Still, if you can overcome the curve or if your amazing controller skills do translate over to button press memory retention, this could be a solid game for the price offered.

This game is a puzzle game where you have to manipulate traffic lights on a circular plane to allow different colored traffic cars to their set destination. This leads to everyone’s favorite traffic inconvenience, a lot of time spent sitting at traffic lights. As the omnipresent god of traffic you determine who gets preference. The game is face paced and takes a fair amount of situational awareness and speed to make sure that everyone flows freely in your blacktop town. The game will periodically drop an ambulance that will need to race across the map within a set period but the reward closes down a road in the harder levels allowing for you to not have to worry about particular segments of the road getting blocked up. The game is fast paced, engaging, and fun. The music does get a touch repetitive but it’s easily excused by fantastic gameplay. Co-op and multiplayer options in the full version will only sweeten the deal. If you have the 400g to spend I say give this game a try and see if it should find a spot in your library.