Whiskey Media Looking for Badass Engineer

Topic started by andy on June 11, 2009. Last post by DanceDanceKennypants 1 week, 3 days ago.
Post by T0mF5 (322 posts) See mini bio
984 ACH / 19110 P

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How far would an understanding of Qbasic get me?


Post by Harknett (35 posts) See mini bio
1223 ACH / 21555 P

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Back in high school I made a blackjack program with Visual Basic. I'm qualified, right? 


Post by Aaox (317 posts) See mini bio
1169 ACH / 22525 P

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I will tell you one unhelpful thing and one unelpful thing only: I am not the man you're looking for.


Post by Food (140 posts) See mini bio
517 ACH / 9970 P

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Online Now

10 PRINT "PENIS"
20 GOTO 10

So am I hired or what?


Post by Mikemcn (1,661 posts) See mini bio
123 ACH / 0 P

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I once made a picture on MS paint, of a volcano, when will i be moving out there?


Post by Lifestrike (119 posts) See mini bio
44 ACH / 440 P

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@InfiniteZr0 said:
" I can make things in MS Paint.
Can I have the job?
"



Post by wibby (20 posts) See mini bio
802 ACH / 12559 P

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3 year producer for Sony, 11 years web designer , 22 years IT guru..

I love you guys but the shift from the UK with my family would cost way too much


Post by Psychedelicide (14 posts) See mini bio
1825 ACH / 37603 P

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Whiskey ay?!,
I prefer Bacardi but you can start sending those free bottles my way...


Post by Gibbs_Acolyte (31 posts) See mini bio
631 ACH / 4230 P

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Bad ass Engineer, that's a good band name


Post by TwoOneFive (4,860 posts) See mini bio
169 ACH / 2165 P

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well... I am badass. Is half good enough?


Post by RiotBananas (376 posts) See mini bio
1242 ACH / 20920 P

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@KaosAngel said:
" I have: Be genuinely excited about new technology, and how it might apply to our problem set.>_> "
I have that too, hire us plz :)


Post by josty81 (72 posts) See mini bio
969 ACH / 17745 P

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I know kung fu


Post by marc (159 posts) See mini bio
51 ACH / 520 P

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Ask me in 5 more years! I'm working on it!


Post by Dickey (18 posts) See mini bio
798 ACH / 13433 P

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I'm a web designer, not an engineer. My brain isn't large enough to do that stuff. 
 
But i totally wish i could.


Post by Cagey (1 posts) See mini bio
978 ACH / 14555 P

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I've been a software engineer for several years now and have been stuck using C++/C#/ASP.NET and MSSQL for pretty much the entirety of it.  I've also been desperately wanting to learn things like Python, PostgreSQL, and Apache (for more than just hosting an SVN server) for pretty much that entire time, but just haven't had a chance to.  Maybe now I'll have the motivation to find some extra time and do some ol' fashion book-learnins so that one day I may work in the Whiskey Media empire (or anywhere besides @*#%ing military contractors and their messed up government business practices).


Post by Jolly_Lolly (3,073 posts) See mini bio
560 ACH / 10186 P

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Dammit. I'll be back when you guys are in need of a writer ;)


Post by Mikemcn (1,661 posts) See mini bio
123 ACH / 0 P

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I feel like this position should have been filled already...... who wouldnt want to work at a site that supports drink testing


Post by ViolentPsycho (46 posts) See mini bio
830 ACH / 18799 P

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All I have to do is walk around and hit stuff (and Staff HAHA) with a wrench? Right? Like in Team Fortress 2?


Post by copycatzen (248 posts) See mini bio
207 ACH / 4195 P

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Well I am a badass civil engineer 
but I have no knowlegde on the specifics that you are asking for... 
 
but I can make you a bridge...


Post by crusader8463 (900 posts) See mini bio
568 ACH / 6475 P

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I always play the engineer class in games, that get me anything?


Post by Zaerus (84 posts) See mini bio

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@SamuSlave said:

"

@MattyFTM said:
"
@Sparky_Buzzsaw said:
" If you guys need a badass mop wrangler, I'm your guy. "
I'm may regret asking this, but what is a mop wrangler? Looking up "Wrangle" in the dictionary doesn't yield any results for things I would expect to be done to mops. "
He likes to argue loudly with mops. "
It's clearly a typo, he clearly means:  badass mop strangler =p


Post by halibut (8 posts) See mini bio
10 ACH / 0 P

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I'm going to tell you right now that I am not qualified according to the posting.  I do have a lot of experience with the wrong technology stack (J2EE), but not a lot on the less web-facing stuff. I started out working on a large website for about a month, and then got pulled away to help start up a dozen or so small-to-medium-sized internal web-apps for one of my company's clients.  Been working on those in sequence (actually about 4-5 at a time in parallel) for about 2 and a half years now.
 
  • I've got a little experience with Python.  I wrote a plugin for Trac, as well as an exporter for Blender for use in a game engine of mine.  But that's about the extent of my knowledge.  I'm a Java guy who is trying to branch out into the FP world. 
  • I've got some experience with MySQL,Oracle, and MSSQL. I can do simple things like write a query, and look for columns to index, but I wouldn't be able to tune things like effective_cache_size based on usage patterns.
  • Worked with Linux a little, but most of the stuff in the J2EE world is pretty environment-agnostic, so I don't have a lot of experience.  I have set up Apache to serve SVN and Trac a couple of times, and I hacked together a pre-configured version of Knoppix (based on Buildix).  But that knowledge is not second-nature.  I'd need to look it up to do it again.
  • My editor (Eclipse) is vastly superior to yours mainly because of the language.  You can't do a lot of refactoring on a dynamically typed language.  Also, I can write my code in a nice concise way in Scala and still have access to the billions of open-source Java libraries out there.  But on top of just language differences, it's got excellent plugins for SVN, automatic web-app deployment, jsp/html/js/css/you-name-it editors, database query browser, etc...
  • As far as embracing new technologies, I've started devoting all of my personal programming time to Scala which is a hybrid Object Oriented and Functional Programming language that runs on the JVM.  It's statically typed, but it has type inferencing, so most of the time you don't need to specify a type at all (unless you're writing a library).  I haven't played around with it yet, but it has a web-framework called Lift that focuses on Comet (server-push) for delivering content to large amounts of concurrent users.
 
Anyway, sorry for the massive swing-and-miss on what you asked for, but at the very least I was able use it as a refresher to get my resume up to date.


Post by Ooame (9 posts) See mini bio
557 ACH / 8515 P

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@Alphazero said:
" def bufuCheck(self, user, enemy):    if (user == "Charlie Tuna" and enemy.drains(_ice)):        cast(_ice)        "
I want this man hired now!


Post by Benjaminvdv (288 posts) See mini bio
1135 ACH / 20747 P

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@ViolentPsycho said:
" All I have to do is walk around and hit stuff (and Staff HAHA) with a wrench? Right? Like in Team Fortress 2? "
The joke was funny 2 pages ago, not so funny anymore now...


Post by OutOfBounds9000 (1,045 posts) See mini bio

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Im a pretty badass engineer,but i cant come to your place,and work for GiantBomb.I cant.I already work for someone,and btw i will be so nervous in front of Jeff and so,so i cant work for Giantbomb,seriously.And nor for Whiskey Media.


Post by Zelnox (15 posts) See mini bio

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I clean my sink with Vim.


Post by kagekage (112 posts) See mini bio
51 ACH / 440 P

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Um, I can turn on my computer!


Post by EvolutionX0 (87 posts) See mini bio
1142 ACH / 22365 P

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I'm Badass But I'm not a engineer. :(


Post by NeoUltima (52 posts) See mini bio
396 ACH / 6065 P

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I once made a Star Wars video game(play as x-wing, shoot tie fighters, blow up Death Star) in Qbasic in high school. Thing was rad, all the classmates were like  "o daaaayyyumm son, you a natural born programmer"...Alas that is about as far as I advanced in my programming career...instead I decided to be a marketing major. So any opportunities for me? LMK


Post by MAN_FLANNEL (584 posts) See mini bio
665 ACH / 11077 P

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i can turn on my computer, go to giantbomb, youtube, and watch porn all at the same time.... ahem.... i think im over qualified.