Posted by hrdwregk (11 posts) -

This is just a little blog to fill those damn addicting achievements you so delightfully set up to destroy any semblance of work I had anticipated doing.

#1 Posted by hrdwregk (11 posts) -

This is just a little blog to fill those damn addicting achievements you so delightfully set up to destroy any semblance of work I had anticipated doing.

#2 Posted by Daniel (1557 posts) -

sorry :)

#3 Posted by Turbo_Toaster (1056 posts) -

=B

#4 Posted by Azteck (7416 posts) -

Oh shit's gonna get messy up in here.

#5 Posted by JJOR64 (19572 posts) -

Let the Giant Bomb dictatorship begin!

#6 Posted by Soap (3748 posts) -

1 post and 2 mods are the first 2 replies.... damn.

#7 Posted by SMTDante89 (2753 posts) -
@Soap said:
" 1 post and 2 mods are the first 2 replies.... damn. "
One mod and one staff member.
#8 Posted by DeeGee (2175 posts) -

Dude just got like 10 quests finished =)

#9 Edited by Soap (3748 posts) -
@SMTDante89: Same Same, both pretty awesome :P
#10 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -

Why hasn't this been locked yet?

#11 Posted by W0lfbl1tzers (1789 posts) -
@Video_Game_King: Because God hates you.
#12 Posted by Azteck (7416 posts) -
@Video_Game_King said:
" Why hasn't this been locked yet? "
@W0lfbl1tzers said:
" @Video_Game_King: Because God hates you. "
And because you touch yourself at night. Just saying.
#13 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
@Azteck:

So if I start limiting my masturbation to daytime hours, then this thread will be locked?
#14 Posted by JJWeatherman (14801 posts) -
@Video_Game_King said:
" @Azteck: So if I start limiting my masturbation to daytime hours, then this thread will be locked? "
Why don't you give it a shot?
#15 Edited by Azteck (7416 posts) -
@Video_Game_King said:

" @Azteck: So if I start limiting my masturbation to daytime hours, then this thread will be locked? "

Without a doubt. Why not start tonight, or stop rather!
#16 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
@Azteck said:
" @Video_Game_King said:

" @Azteck: So if I start limiting my masturbation to daytime hours, then this thread will be locked? "

Without a doubt. Why not start tonight, or stop rather! "
Because the sun has set, and if I don't vigorously masturbate, then that orphanage will burn to the ground. Do you want that blood on your hands?
#17 Posted by Azteck (7416 posts) -
@Video_Game_King said:
" @Azteck said:
" @Video_Game_King said:

" @Azteck: So if I start limiting my masturbation to daytime hours, then this thread will be locked? "

Without a doubt. Why not start tonight, or stop rather! "
Because the sun has set, and if I don't vigorously masturbate, then that orphanage will burn to the ground. Do you want that blood on your hands? "
I fail to see the problem with this situation. Just stop masturbating!
#18 Posted by Bloodgraiv3 (2729 posts) -

 

Yep, gotta figure out them all.


 

#19 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
@Azteck:

So you're saying that I shouldn't expose my penis in front of children, even if this cock restraint will result in their deaths?
#20 Posted by Azteck (7416 posts) -
@Video_Game_King: Clearly, that is the more humane thing to do.
#21 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
@Azteck:

How? They're orphanage children. It's not like they're unfamiliar with the concept of penis, but fire...they've never been exposed to fire. Clearly, my option is more humane.
#22 Posted by Azteck (7416 posts) -
@Video_Game_King: Are you telling me that you would knowingly rob these children of the education they need to survive? How else will they know what fire is?
#23 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
@Azteck:

But if I am not there to save them with my masturbation, then they will not live to take that lesson to heart. Also, I love the direction this thread has taken.
#24 Posted by Azteck (7416 posts) -
@Video_Game_King: I'm sure they'll learn, then by pure chance they burn to death. Surely, those lessons and consequences couldn't be related. It's better for the orphans and the world for you to stop masturbating.
#25 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
@Azteck:

The fire and the consequences are pretty damn related. They can't learn that fire is bad if the fire kills them. That is why I am there: to teach them the dangers of fire with my genitals. That is why I think my masturbation will make the world a better place.
#26 Posted by Azteck (7416 posts) -
@Video_Game_King: But they will learn!! They'll learn it better than anyone.

Then they die.

But you can't really avoid that last bit.
#27 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
@Azteck:

That's the point I'm trying to make: my masturbation will help avoid that last bit. How could you possibly deny that?
#28 Posted by Azteck (7416 posts) -
@Video_Game_King: But all you will accomplish by masturbating is traumatizing the children before they burn to death in a horrible way. Why add to their suffering?!
#29 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
@Azteck:

My semen will extinguish the flames and save their lives! They may be traumatized, but I imagine that death is more traumatizing than public masturbation.
#30 Posted by Azteck (7416 posts) -
@Video_Game_King: Maybe so, but the risk of you going to jail for masturbating in front of a large group of children while they are burning to death is far greater than you going to death for witnessing the house burning down.
#31 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
@Azteck:

I'm sure that the police would be OK with it if it meant saving an orphanage full of children. Hell, I think there's an entire division of the fire department that puts out fires solely with the power of their own penii.
#32 Posted by Azteck (7416 posts) -
@Video_Game_King: No, those are just male strippers who happened to be moonlighting for some extra cash. The life of a stripper isn't an easy one.
#33 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
@Azteck:

Especially when you have to roam the streets and rip off your pants for money. But my point still stands: those orphans will die without my masturbation!
#34 Posted by Azteck (7416 posts) -
@Video_Game_King: But don't you think that they would be forever traumatized to the point of never living a regular life, once they realized that what kept them from going up in flames was your semen? Especially if it happened to come in contact with them?
#35 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
@Azteck:

I don't think they would be traumatized. They'd lead normal lives. If anything, they'd come to worship my penis and form a cult around it. Imagine it: a world where people claim that my penis imparts immortality. Surely, this would be a better world for all, especially me!
#36 Posted by FesteringNeon (2228 posts) -

  

#37 Posted by Azteck (7416 posts) -
@Video_Game_King: Not if they attempt to make a shrine out of it with life candles. That could be hazardous! Your penis could catch fire, and then you could never put out any fires again. Is it really worth it?
#38 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
@Azteck:

But my penis would be covered in semen, which, as we've already established, destroys fire. I am in no danger of my penis burning to little bits of dick.
#39 Posted by Azteck (7416 posts) -
@Video_Game_King: But what if your new-found followers slash slaves had.. made sure it wasn't..
#40 Posted by hrdwregk (11 posts) -

Wow didn't anticipate this conversation.  But hell that fulfilled a few quest achievements.  I don't really blog so this may be all you get out of me Thanks :)

#41 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
@Azteck:

How? I imagine that since the semen would make it holier, they would make sure that my penis would never be dry. EVER.
#42 Posted by Agent47 (1931 posts) -
@Video_Game_King: ....two mods already replied to it maybe that has to do with it?
#43 Edited by Agent47 (1931 posts) -
@Video_Game_King: I am sorry I read your comment half way then my hand starting cramping again.
EDIT:......ooooooh nevermind.
#44 Posted by Legend (2695 posts) -
@Video_Game_King@Azteck
This was such a lovely thread, but you two just had to come here and fuck it all up; hadn't you?
#45 Posted by Azteck (7416 posts) -
@Legend: Well I mean.. I had the opportunity. Might as well take it, know what I'm sayin'? But I wonder how the hell this hasn't been locked yet after the conversation me and Video_Game_King had.
#46 Posted by Evilsbane (5149 posts) -
@Legend said:
" @Video_Game_King@Azteck This was such a lovely thread, but you two just had to come here and fuck it all up; hadn't you? "
Come on that was 1000% times more interesting to read than the metric ton of crap that gets said :p