100+ Things You Learned from God of War 3. (May contain spoilers)

#1 Posted by Afroman269 (7387 posts) -

1) Kratos's vengeance ends now. 
2) Kratos is still pissed 
3) Hades can't keep a hold of Kratos. 
4) People still want to betray Kratos. 
5) Harpie boobs are gross. 
6) Helios wants you to feel the power of the Sun. 
7) Hermes is a pussy. 
8) Zeus won't stand for Kratos's insolence. 
9) Don't fuck with Kratos. 
10) Don't help Kratos because he will still end up killing you.

#2 Posted by VisariLoyalist (2991 posts) -

11) if you make the same game prettier people will buy it

#3 Posted by Afroman269 (7387 posts) -
@VisariLoyalist said:
" 11) if you make the same game prettier people will buy it "

#4 Posted by EvilTwin (3324 posts) -

11) I didn't do it...but I wish I did!

#5 Edited by GetEveryone (4455 posts) -
@EvilTwin said:

" 12) I didn't do it...but I wish I did! "

Fixed.
 
13) Kratos dum dum dum... Kratos dum dum dum...Kratos dum dum dum
#6 Posted by EvilTwin (3324 posts) -
@GetEveryone:  I don't really think the other 11 counts.  Besides the fact that it seems pretty trollish, it's not really in the spirit of these kinds of threads.
#7 Posted by GetEveryone (4455 posts) -
@EvilTwin:  Yeah mate, you're right. I hadn't even read what he'd written. Consider your application for 11 approved!
#8 Posted by Afroman269 (7387 posts) -
@EvilTwin said:
" @GetEveryone:  I don't really think the other 11 counts.  Besides the fact that it seems pretty trollish, it's not really in the spirit of these kinds of threads. "
Everyone of this kinds of threads ends up having at least one troll comment so I think it's fair leave it be. So lets just carry on. 
 
14) It must suck to be an average mortal in this time period.
#9 Posted by ToxicFruit (1717 posts) -

not one of these again...

#10 Posted by Tactical_Kill (1695 posts) -

15) Even if you are killing all the gods Aphrodite will still have sex with you.

#11 Posted by Afroman269 (7387 posts) -
@Tactical_Kill: lol. Well in that case. 
 
16) Aphrodite is a whore.
#12 Posted by Allprox (540 posts) -

 17) I actually learned how to pronounce Hephaestus.

#13 Posted by fenixREVOLUTION (735 posts) -

18) Suicide is some form of forgiveness...?

#14 Edited by captain_clayman (3320 posts) -

19)  Hades doesn't actually have blue hair. 
20)  Kicking puppies gives you health.

#15 Edited by funkyblam (40 posts) -

21) You can count on Poseidon's girl to hold that gate open for you.. with no trouble at all. ;D

#16 Posted by SJSchmidt93 (4894 posts) -

22) Pissed of mortals > Gods

#17 Posted by Alphiehyr (1083 posts) -

I knew there was going to be another one of these annoying 100 things topic.

#18 Posted by DeadRockstar (32 posts) -

23) Athena is Fontaine

#19 Posted by EVO (3890 posts) -

24. Despite single-handedly taking down Zeus, Poseidon and various other Gods, doors still prove to be a worthy foe for Kratos.

#20 Posted by Jeffsekai (7027 posts) -

25) Who needs innovation?

#21 Posted by popmasterruler (575 posts) -

26.Kratos doesn't mind committing incest

#22 Posted by MikeFightNight (1106 posts) -
#23 Posted by Ronin147 (78 posts) -

27.) Kratos would win a gold medal for ripping people in half
#24 Posted by LiquidPrince (15901 posts) -
@popmasterruler said:
" 26.Kratos doesn't mind committing incest "
What?
#25 Posted by popmasterruler (575 posts) -
@LiquidPrince said:
" @popmasterruler said:
" 26.Kratos doesn't mind committing incest "
What? "
 
 In God Of War III Kratos fucks Aphrodite and since Zeus is his father all of the gods are related to Kratos...including Aphrodite.
#26 Posted by LiquidPrince (15901 posts) -
@popmasterruler said:
" @LiquidPrince said:
" @popmasterruler said:
" 26.Kratos doesn't mind committing incest "
What? "
  In God Of War III Kratos fucks Aphrodite and since Zeus is his father all of the gods are related to Kratos...including Aphrodite. "
Except for the fact that Aphrodite was born when Cronos ripped off his fathers balls and threw them into the ocean. Aphrodite was born from the foamy balls of Uranus, and thus wasn't technically related to any of the gods directly.
#27 Posted by popmasterruler (575 posts) -
@LiquidPrince: 
 
 
I did not know that,although as you said it is a technicality
#28 Posted by LiquidPrince (15901 posts) -
@popmasterruler:  Nah, but even if it was incest, back then everyone fucked each other. Gods were incest crazy.
#29 Edited by Juvenfly (125 posts) -
@LiquidPrince said:

" @popmasterruler said:

" @LiquidPrince said:
" @popmasterruler said:
" 26.Kratos doesn't mind committing incest "
What? "
  In God Of War III Kratos fucks Aphrodite and since Zeus is his father all of the gods are related to Kratos...including Aphrodite. "
Except for the fact that Aphrodite was born when Cronos ripped off his fathers balls and threw them into the ocean. Aphrodite was born from the foamy balls of Uranus, and thus wasn't technically related to any of the gods directly. "
Kronos is Zeus's father, which makes him Kratos' grandfather.  If Aphrodite is Uranus's daughter, then she's Kronos's half sister.  Which means Kratos is fucking his great-half-aunt?  
 
Long story short, Uranus fathered the Titans with his Mother Gaia, including Kronos, which means that Kratos and Aphrodite are related.  But considering I just stated a much freakier case of incest in that last sentence...Kratos screwing Aphrodite is hardly out of the ordinary for Greek Myth (edit:  As you noted in your next post).
#30 Posted by popmasterruler (575 posts) -
@LiquidPrince said:
" @popmasterruler:  Nah, but even if it was incest, back then everyone fucked each other. Gods were incest crazy. "
 
That much I did now.
 
 
@Juvenfly said:
" @LiquidPrince said:
" @popmasterruler said:
" @LiquidPrince said:
" @popmasterruler said:
" 26.Kratos doesn't mind committing incest "
What? "
  In God Of War III Kratos fucks Aphrodite and since Zeus is his father all of the gods are related to Kratos...including Aphrodite. "
Except for the fact that Aphrodite was born when Cronos ripped off his fathers balls and threw them into the ocean. Aphrodite was born from the foamy balls of Uranus, and thus wasn't technically related to any of the gods directly. "
Kronos is Zeus's father, which makes him Kratos' grandfather.  If Aphrodite is Uranus's daughter, then she's Kronos's half sister.  Which means Kratos is fucking his great-half-aunt?    Long story short, Uranus fathered the Titans with his Mother Gaia, including Kronos, which means that Kratos and Aphrodite are related.  But considering I just stated a much freakier case of incest in that last sentence...Kratos screwing Aphrodite is hardly out of the ordinary for Greek Myth. "
 
 
Good point,I'll just rescind my contribution to this list then.
#31 Posted by LiquidPrince (15901 posts) -
@Juvenfly said:
" @LiquidPrince said:

" @popmasterruler said:

" @LiquidPrince said:
" @popmasterruler said:
" 26.Kratos doesn't mind committing incest "
What? "
  In God Of War III Kratos fucks Aphrodite and since Zeus is his father all of the gods are related to Kratos...including Aphrodite. "
Except for the fact that Aphrodite was born when Cronos ripped off his fathers balls and threw them into the ocean. Aphrodite was born from the foamy balls of Uranus, and thus wasn't technically related to any of the gods directly. "
Kronos is Zeus's father, which makes him Kratos' grandfather.  If Aphrodite is Uranus's daughter, then she's Kronos's half sister.  Which means Kratos is fucking his great-half-aunt?    Long story short, Uranus fathered the Titans with his Mother Gaia, including Kronos, which means that Kratos and Aphrodite are related.  But considering I just stated a much freakier case of incest in that last sentence...Kratos screwing Aphrodite is hardly out of the ordinary for Greek Myth (edit:  As you noted in your next post). "
Yup, true indeed. But Aphrodite wasn't even technically born, more so like... spawned...
#32 Posted by Juvenfly (125 posts) -
@LiquidPrince said:
" @Juvenfly said:
" @LiquidPrince said:

" @popmasterruler said:

" @LiquidPrince said:
" @popmasterruler said:
" 26.Kratos doesn't mind committing incest "
What? "
  In God Of War III Kratos fucks Aphrodite and since Zeus is his father all of the gods are related to Kratos...including Aphrodite. "
Except for the fact that Aphrodite was born when Cronos ripped off his fathers balls and threw them into the ocean. Aphrodite was born from the foamy balls of Uranus, and thus wasn't technically related to any of the gods directly. "
Kronos is Zeus's father, which makes him Kratos' grandfather.  If Aphrodite is Uranus's daughter, then she's Kronos's half sister.  Which means Kratos is fucking his great-half-aunt?    Long story short, Uranus fathered the Titans with his Mother Gaia, including Kronos, which means that Kratos and Aphrodite are related.  But considering I just stated a much freakier case of incest in that last sentence...Kratos screwing Aphrodite is hardly out of the ordinary for Greek Myth (edit:  As you noted in your next post). "
Yup, true indeed. But Aphrodite wasn't even technically born, more so like... spawned... "
Anybody know if there's a hard limit on nested quotes on this forum?  I feel like we're about to find out.
 
OK, so...as ze Germans say..."jein."  She had did just kind of rise out of the sea as an adult, but the idea of the sea as a feminine/fertile entity is a relatively common one.  And Aphrodite came from the "foam" that was released when Kronus's member splashed into the ocean.  I think it's pretty clear what's really meant by "foam."  In essence, Kronus's dismembered junk fertilized the sea, and Aphrodite was their daughter, born full grown (keep in mind that Athena also sprang forth from Zeus's head full grown).  
 
Wait...what number are we on anyway?
 
28)  Kratos is at least as strong as a Chimpanzee.
#33 Edited by Ecinsiefil (80 posts) -

29) It doesn't matter how many times you save Kratos from death; he's still going to kill you.

#34 Posted by eclipsesis (1242 posts) -

30) Kratos is beyond counseling repair.  

#35 Posted by Bouz (99 posts) -

31) If Kratos wanted to watch a Die Hard movie he would seek Die Hard: with a Vengence

#36 Posted by LackLuster (713 posts) -

32) Hercules is a momma's boy

#37 Posted by Laharl (350 posts) -

33)satyrs suck, they really really suck.

#38 Posted by funkyblam (40 posts) -
@Laharl said:
" 33)satyrs suck, they really really suck. "
i agree
 
34) titans are very weak and easily defeated
#39 Posted by ryanwho (12082 posts) -

35) If you're an angry cock make sure to constantly surround yourself with things to kill because if you spend like 5 minutes alone you'll bitch out and kill yourself.

#40 Edited by Roboyto (80 posts) -

36) Even when youve spent the entire time killing gods, for some reason youre still going to spend most of your time searching for the power to kill a god.....

#41 Posted by Eric_Buck (1289 posts) -

37.) Never EVER swallow Kratos.

#42 Posted by Icemael (6314 posts) -

38) If a game looks to good to be true, it probably is.

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