100+ Things You've Learned™ Playing GTA V! (Spoiler Free!)

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#1 Posted by MB (13089 posts) -

Hello Giant Bomb community! Here we go again in the long-running Things You've Learned series! We've been doing this for years, let's keep it going with Grand Theft Auto V!

Remember, please do not post any spoilers, and try to keep the numbering consecutive if at all possible...it'll save me a ton of work. Also, try to read through the thread before replying and avoid posting duplicates, those will be deleted eventually. If you've never played before, check out some of the previous threads so you can get an idea of how it's done. I'll start!

1) Carrying a concealed minigun and 10,000 rounds of ammunition is no problem!

Check out some of the previous Things You've Learned™:

#2 Edited by jking47 (1247 posts) -

2) Pressing jump then punch=hours of entertainment.

Online
#3 Posted by DFL017 (154 posts) -

3) I never want to have children.

#4 Posted by Marino (4761 posts) -

4) I'll do several despicable things for bouncy bouncy.

Staff
#5 Posted by Chaser324 (6741 posts) -

5) Good hygiene and interpersonal skills are not a requirement for becoming a successful entrepreneur.

Moderator
#6 Edited by SamFo (1562 posts) -

X) Moderator Edit - I consider this a spoiler. Not cool!

#7 Edited by Glottery (1387 posts) -

6) It might just be me, but playing Trevor seems to increase your chances to get into a random violent situation with about 200% (and that's not counting anything story/side-mission related).

#8 Posted by believer258 (12179 posts) -

7) Face-planting into fence posts and buildings is fun.

8) Hitting a pole while driving a 4-wheeler is deadly, but being flung out of a car moving at extremely high speeds is A-OK.

#9 Edited by MB (13089 posts) -

9) The Los Santos Police Department has the most intuitive investigators. If a criminal sets off a remote explosion, all police officers in the area immediately know who did it and the suspect's exact location.

#10 Posted by Claude (16254 posts) -

10) Los Santos will never host a PGA Tour event with a nine hole golf course.

#12 Posted by MisterBananaFoam (38 posts) -

11) Cops will never check the windows in their cars.

12) It's perfectly acceptable to call your opponent a 'cocksucker' during a friendly game of tennis.

#13 Posted by Cloudleet (156 posts) -

13) If a crazed gunman is firing at the police, never try to help the police by beating up the crazed gunman.

#14 Posted by HiroKedyn (32 posts) -

14) Always carry a Jerry can with you. You never know when you will need to light something on fire.

#16 Edited by mintyice (193 posts) -

15) It's totally possible to take 90 degree turns at top speed and not spin out

#17 Posted by Irvandus (2879 posts) -

16) Gangsters have are able to drive using magic.

#18 Edited by MB (13089 posts) -

17. You can easily control the pitch and yaw of any airborne vehicle while you're jumping big ass ramps.

#19 Posted by Nightriff (5328 posts) -

18) Flying is still garbage, avoid at all costs

#20 Posted by Sackmanjones (4761 posts) -

19) If a creepy old guy wants a drink of your beer, give it to him.

#21 Posted by OneAndOnlyBigE (447 posts) -

20) The people of Los Santos are very protective of their personal space.

#22 Posted by shivermetimbers (785 posts) -

21) You can kill an infinite amount of cops and civilians, destroy billions in property, get wasted ("killed"), respawn in the hospital, and have no criminal record.

#23 Edited by hbkdx12 (779 posts) -

22) it's perfectly normal for you to get a private lap dance where the curtain is wide open and the bouncer watches you in 5-10 second intervals

#24 Posted by Marino (4761 posts) -

23) Whether you are the owner of the local biker bar or not, the bikers will not tolerate you hanging out there.

Staff
#25 Edited by delorean99947 (228 posts) -

24) Collecting 30 sub-marine parts for a crazy lady yields almost no reward. Don't always expect a big pay off for a hard days work.

#27 Edited by Pr1mus (3946 posts) -

26) Putting on your helmet will save your life on a bike.

Online
#28 Posted by Buneroid (428 posts) -

27) If you see someone steal an old lady's money on the sidewalk, RUN THAT FUCKER DOWN!

#29 Posted by Claude (16254 posts) -

28) Motorcycle helmets are disposable.

#30 Posted by Legend (2661 posts) -

29) If you get arrested in Los Santos, the police will only take your ammo and let you keep all your weapons including your RPG, minigun and grenade launcher.

#31 Edited by Blomakrans (151 posts) -

30) In Los Santos and surrounding areas people aren't concerned about paying too much for a taxi. Some will even take a taxi from downtown Los Santos to the other side of the map.

#32 Posted by ikilledthedj (334 posts) -

31) buying a brand new car in Los santos does not guarantee it will be in your garage the next day

32) No one takes the bus to work

#33 Edited by Stealthmaster86 (681 posts) -

33. The Police will not take responsibility if they crash into you. They will chase you down instead.

#34 Posted by BigJeffrey (5170 posts) -

34) You can hide in the bushes (Trees) when cops are looking for you.

#35 Posted by DFL017 (154 posts) -

35) The GPS is your friend in the city, but in the country just go straight.

#36 Posted by Hailinel (25205 posts) -

36) Some dudes are very touchy about being Canadian.

#37 Posted by connerthekewlkid (1843 posts) -

37) You don't have to like it because the hood doesn't love it.

#38 Posted by Sessh (1048 posts) -

38) Horse tranquillizers can give you the trip of a lifetime.

#39 Edited by I_Stay_Puft (3798 posts) -

39) The cashiers are cool.

#40 Posted by supermonkey122 (872 posts) -

40.) Time slows down when changing the radio station in your car.

#41 Posted by Lord_Xp (606 posts) -

41.) Don't stand near cops. They'll shoot you for trespassing their personal space

#42 Posted by Capum15 (4988 posts) -

@lord_xp said:

41.) Don't stand near cops. They'll shoot you for trespassing their personal space

41.5) Guards will also sic their dogs on you, before shooting you immediately without warning.

#43 Posted by GreggD (4515 posts) -

42.) No matter how much armor you slap onto a vehicle, flip onto your front end down a mountain at top speed, and your ass is grass.

#44 Posted by MB (13089 posts) -

43. If you already own a particular suit or shirt but forgot yours at home, just pop in to the shop that sells it and take another one for free. It's totally fine, and the clerk will even thank you for coming in.

#45 Posted by chrismafuchris (1080 posts) -

44. Hedges are made of the strongest material known to man

#46 Posted by jerseyscum (924 posts) -

45. Don't call Trevor a hipster. Seriously, don't do it.

#47 Edited by BigBoss1911 (2542 posts) -

46. People who live in Southern Cali are 3 beer queers.

#48 Posted by Flappy (2352 posts) -

47. When given the task to plan an escape route, always make sure to get the right vehicle for the job.

#49 Edited by BigJeffrey (5170 posts) -

48) Don't trespass on military bases.

#50 Edited by Gladiator_Games (447 posts) -

49. Taxi companies dont mind random dudes calling in "lookin for work"

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