The best GTAV review is by Leigh Alexander

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#1 Edited by shivermetimbers (754 posts) -
#2 Posted by Dacnomaniac (437 posts) -

You can't really have a best review, seeing as everyone will have different perspectives on the game. But, I think I know what you're trying to say...

#4 Edited by Milkman (16484 posts) -

I thought this was pretty hilarious too but I didn't post it because I know exactly the reaction that anything with Leigh's name on it gets around here.

You're also better off posting the text version as that makes the point a little more obvious for people.

#5 Edited by Demoskinos (14520 posts) -

The most offensive part about that is that she is using a review scale by the tenths like..who fucking does that?

#7 Posted by Itwastuesday (924 posts) -

fantastic

#9 Posted by GreggD (4475 posts) -

Sorry, but that was fucking dumb.

#10 Edited by jking47 (1207 posts) -

Saw this earlier, did not find it funny. Maybe I am missing something?

#13 Edited by FLStyle (4536 posts) -

It's easier to listen to than the last two things I heard her voice in, namely those two E3 live bombcasts she ruined by being drunk.

Alas, I didn't find it all that funny.

#14 Posted by OfficeGamer (1087 posts) -

Why are these people so bitter and are riding the dick of "why no womens?" so deep?

Why is she so fucking bitter seriously? It's not that I care about these stupid video game critics and personalities, they need a controversy even if they pull it out of their ass, otherwise they can't stir up shit to make a lazy living off of, but why is the bitterness so enormous?

What a pathetic dick that woman was in those two and a half minutes.

#17 Posted by DystopiaX (5291 posts) -

@flstyle said:

It's easier to listen to than the last two things I heard her voice in, namely those two E3 live bombcasts she ruined by being drunk.

Alas, I didn't find it all that funny.

Yeah. I was surprised to see it retweeted and stuff. I mean, I get the point she's trying to make but she comes off as horribly bitter and cynical. Yes, reviews are formulaic. Yes they mostly said the same things. Yes they harped on the misogyny/sexism. But goddamn, can we even just enjoy videogames for what they are anymore? Got a profound "I enjoy no things" vibe from this.

#18 Posted by Itwastuesday (924 posts) -

Why are these people so bitter and are riding the dick of "why no womens?" so deep?

Why is she so fucking bitter seriously? It's not that I care about these stupid video game critics and personalities, they need a controversy even if they pull it out of their ass, otherwise they can't stir up shit to make a lazy living off of, but why is the bitterness so enormous?

What a pathetic dick that woman was in those two and a half minutes.

why are you so bitter?

#19 Posted by RollingZeppelin (1908 posts) -

I see what she's going for here, it was kind of amusing, not bad.

#20 Posted by flindip (533 posts) -

Why are these people so bitter and are riding the dick of "why no womens?" so deep?

Why is she so fucking bitter seriously? It's not that I care about these stupid video game critics and personalities, they need a controversy even if they pull it out of their ass, otherwise they can't stir up shit to make a lazy living off of, but why is the bitterness so enormous?

What a pathetic dick that woman was in those two and a half minutes.

Yeah, I pretty much agree. What type of bullshit baiting like this nonsense pass for any type of "journalism":

"Instead of only playing as one gross man who commits crimes and swears a lot, you get to play as three different ones. My press kit says this is a narrative innovation. You can’t be a woman. I could be lazy and say this is because women do not commit crimes or swear and nor should they want to, but instead I’m going to come right out and say it’s misogynistic. What, you want to leave me death threats? Go for it! Games are about feeling powerful, and about you getting your way!"

I mean come the fuck on people. On the one hand, people say well "we don't want to take away the stuff that you like. We just want to expand the market." But, you get stupid shit like this. So, which is it? Do you want artists to provide newer gaming experiences while having the established ones around as well?

or

Is it we have to change the established ones as well to fit your personal preferences?

If Rockstar doesn't want to put a women as a main character in their game; they don't have too. Its just turning into pettiness at this point...

#21 Edited by DeeGee (2113 posts) -

That was great, it was read out in such a way that made it immensely more enjoyable than if she had talked normally.

That being said, I seriously hope nobody is calling the game misogynistic because you can't play as a woman. Surely we haven't sank that low yet?

#22 Posted by laserbolts (5310 posts) -

Why are these people so bitter and are riding the dick of "why no womens?" so deep?

Why is she so fucking bitter seriously? It's not that I care about these stupid video game critics and personalities, they need a controversy even if they pull it out of their ass, otherwise they can't stir up shit to make a lazy living off of, but why is the bitterness so enormous?

What a pathetic dick that woman was in those two and a half minutes.

LOL.

#27 Posted by SunBroZak (981 posts) -

Only a 9.7? This game deserves a 9.75 at least.

#28 Posted by davidwitten22 (1708 posts) -

It says she hasn't played it yet, but I'm not sure if I believe her. That review seemed too in-depth for that to be possible.

#29 Posted by The_Grindilow (429 posts) -

That woman does irk me somewhat

#30 Posted by Itwastuesday (924 posts) -
If someone writes something that makes you feel something, it's bullshit and you're being baited.

#31 Posted by joshwent (2054 posts) -

Sooooooo...

Is she parodying every games reviewer? Because that just sort of seems like a dis to journalists and gamers alike.

This kind of dumb social commentary posing as watered down satire posing as something clever is gonna make this industry fucking implode.

Every time I legitimately try to understand/like Leigh's stuff, I just end up wanting to scream even more.

<> out of 10

#32 Posted by TooSweet (373 posts) -

This sounds like a game review done in the style of the GTA V gameplay video. I found it funny.

#34 Posted by Milkman (16484 posts) -

@joshwent said:

This kind of dumb social commentary posing as watered down satire

Hmm...it's almost like that reminds me of something...almost...

#35 Edited by RonGalaxy (2842 posts) -

Why is everyone taking this seriously? She was poking fun at reviews, not bashing the game. And besides, is something like this going to ruin the game for you? I doubt it... Just let it go

#37 Posted by JBG4 (385 posts) -

I really did enjoy Jeff's review and the review by Adam Sessler for Rev3.

#38 Posted by Equal_Opportunity_Destroyer497 (558 posts) -

Can't do it.

#40 Posted by Winternet (8002 posts) -

You're the best GTA V review.

#41 Posted by RockyRaccoon37 (412 posts) -

Why are these people so bitter and are riding the dick of "why no womens?" so deep?

Why is she so fucking bitter seriously? It's not that I care about these stupid video game critics and personalities, they need a controversy even if they pull it out of their ass, otherwise they can't stir up shit to make a lazy living off of, but why is the bitterness so enormous?

What a pathetic dick that woman was in those two and a half minutes.

Meanwhile you managed to be a pathetic dick in less than 100 words!

#42 Edited by shivermetimbers (754 posts) -

@milkman said:

You're also better off posting the text version as that makes the point a little more obvious for people.

Ah, thanks. Will modify the OP.

#44 Posted by Sergio (2038 posts) -

I read that earlier. I know what she's going for, but it wasn't very amusing. 1 out of 5.

#45 Posted by McGhee (6094 posts) -

@greggd said:

Sorry, but that was fucking dumb.

#47 Edited by ottoman673 (469 posts) -

She should get a job at Polygon.

#48 Posted by GrantHeaslip (1504 posts) -

This snarky, pseudo-cool, "I'm better than GTA V and you should be too" attitude is fucking lame. It's presented as if it's witty and profound, but it's one of the easier angles to pander to our posturing, groupthink-filled, everyones-a-Maverick, Twitter-addled 21st century minds. I could sit down and write something similarly "biting" about almost any piece of entertainment ever produced.

I don't particularly care about GTA V, but I'm not going to make a performance of rubbing that in everyone's faces, because I do my best (not always successfully) to not be a jerk. The undertone of that "review" was "GTA V is for shallow idiots", and I'm beyond sick of that kind of attitude. Stop shaming people for not liking the same things you like.

Also, I can't figure out for the life of me if the "misogynistic" line was serious or a joke about games critics overusing it, but if it was serious, what?

#49 Posted by Itwastuesday (924 posts) -

@grantheaslip: sounds like this joke review has really shaken you to your foundations

#50 Edited by FunkasaurasRex (847 posts) -

This was made infinitely funnier by the Jazz backing track.

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