Shawn Elliot just tweeted this link. It's amazingly bad writing: 
 
http://e4g.info/1217/halo-3-odst-review.html

Sounds like some guy in Eastern Europe reviewed it.

Wow.

" Sounds like some guy in Eastern Europe reviewed it. "

That whole site, Everything For Gamers, is just a treasure trove of review hilarity.

I hate to be cruel but is that just poor site translation or is american?
 
Other articles seems articulate....

I don't even know what that was 
but i didn't like it

No, I very much doubt it's a translation due to the English review slang being used; seems more like it's been written by a young highschooler who read a few reviews and decided to try doing them himself while borrowing the same terminology.

I got halfway through the second paragraph before I had to look away.

I just...I don't, huh?
 
Wow, that's some atrocious writing.  More power to him for giving it a shot, but wow.

This honestly pisses me off. Apparently any jerk-off with a .com can get a review copy of a game?

" This honestly pisses me off. Apparently any jerk-off with a .com can get a review copy of a game? "

 "They might make a ton of money off of this game but if you own Halo 3 and all of the maps, why rebuy it? If you are a Halo fan I highly recommend this game."
 
Contradiction much? Unless somehow, you're a Halo fan who happened to skip Halo 3?

Why the fuck would Bungie for Halo or Sony for Uncharted 2 send him an early review copy!???! Is he giving PR blow jobs??

So, anyone want to make a drinking game out of their reviews?
 
Misuse of you're, your or there, their; take a drink.
Exclamation points, take a drink.
Worse use of semicolons than I am doing, take a drink.
If you laugh more than once per paragraph, take a drink.
Great typos such as "dual wielded", take a drink.

 They might make a ton of money off of this game but if you own Halo 3 and all of the maps, why rebuy it? If you are a Halo fan I highly recommend this game.

Wow thats really bad, it's like a speech I would write in grade 5.

" They might make a ton of money off of this game but if you own Halo 3 and all of the maps, why rebuy it? If you are a Halo fan I highly recommend this game."
 
Those two sentences are completely contradictory.

I'm hoping this guy is a high school student who's just starting off in the reviewing world so I can just sit back here and say about how we all have to start somewhere. However, it seems a little unlikely a high school student was sent advance copies of Halo 3: ODST and Uncharted 2. I think we really do have just a genuinely terrible review here.

Microsoft X Studios? Looks like he took the logo a little too seriously.

Yup... that is some broken english right there.  It's true what N'Gai always says about game reviewers: "Too many gamers, not enough writers."

I'm sad that you can't duel wielded in ODST

The review isn't all that bad. 
 
And i think he articulates his review for a younger audience, especially since many studies say that's where most of the gamer audience is. 
 
Don't bash the guy... at least he's more honest than most reviewer out there. 

It's awfully short, but it's not that bad of a review. Certain statements like this, however, make me feel better when I have to review games for a website:
 

 The new music in Halo 3: ODST is great. Just like in Halo 3, another great soundtrack will be made. 

 
I'm probably just sounding like an asshole, but that review has a couple of weird moments like that.

Aside from issues concerning grammar (misuse of commas, mispelled words, run-on sentences, etc.) he has this habit of narrating his own review.  "Now down the business, here's the review."  "Now time to get down to the game play, this has really changed since the previous game Halo 3."
 
The worst part of the review though is actually the review's content.  The guy is writing about the game rather than writing about his experience.  His opinions don't delve into how the game made him react.  His review consist a series of "Fact 1.  I like Fact 1.  Fact 2.  I dislike Fact 2."  If he added more praise in his review, I would have mistook it for a badly worded press release from the publisher.

" A bit of spell check here and there and it would be acceptable, but like this? Looks like a kindergartener wrote it. "

I only read the first sentence, since it took me ages just to read that. I presume the rest carries on in the same way

Wow....

" The review isn't all that bad.  And i think he articulates his review for a younger audience, especially since many studies say that's where most of the gamer audience is.  Don't bash the guy... at least he's more honest than most reviewer out there.  "

I couldn't even get past the second paragraph. Holy God.
 
English better not be this guys first language. If he's from a non - english speaking country, then I totally understand, but that review has the grammar and sentence structure akin to a 2nd grader held back twice.

" @Inquisitor said:

" A bit of spell check here and there and it would be acceptable, but like this? Looks like a kindergartener wrote it. "

Spell/grammar check won't help it much.  Whole sentences make no sense, the style is horrible.  It does look like a kindergartner wrote it. "

I thought it was Shawn Elliot being sarcastic; acting like the dick-sucking Halo fan but... I guess this is a legitimate try at a review? 

i really wish i didn't just read that 

" This honestly pisses me off. Apparently any jerk-off with a .com can get a review copy of a game? "