If I were to create a video game...

Posted by JJWeatherman (14558 posts) -

If I were to create a video game, I would spend a hell of a lot of time coming up with a great idea for it. But right now I can't get this bad idea out of my head so I'm gonna write it down. Hopefully this will let me forget about it. I don't have a lot of the details nailed down so bare with me.
 
OK, it's called "Darksliders".
 
Its a game about an army of evil (and dark!) sliders. I mean sliders as in the White Castle burgers of course. The game will even sport an official license by White Castle.
 

 The face of pure evil

The antagonists will be none other than two skateboarders. Mark Gonzales who invented the "Dark Slide" grind, and Rodney Mullen who perfected it. There will be some kind of evil partnership going on there, I'm not quite sure how it will work. Probably, Gonzales will be the evil mastermind and Mullen will be the guy that goes out and does dirt to the protagonist. whenever Rodney Dark Slides a bench or something, an army of evil White Castle slider hamburgers will emerge. 
 
Everyone still following? Good.
 
 The savior of a nation. Nay, a world!
The protagonist role will be handled a bit like the recent Call of Duty games, by which I mean it will switch between multiple protagonists on multiple fronts. One of the main protagonists will be comedian Joe Rogan of Fear Factor fame, of course. Fear Factor Fame provides some nice alliteration. But anyways, the second main character would be Dave Snider. I just really really want Dave in a game as you can tell by one of my lists.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
There will be cameo appearances by many many stars such as:
  • Tony Hawk
  • Ryan Davis
  • Will and Norm (from Tested)
  • Mike Glodberg
  • Chuck Norris
  • Harold and Kumar
  •  Lou Ferrigno
  •  Billy Ingram (founder of White Castle)
  • and more!
 
Don't have all the details nailed down as to exactly HOW these people will all appear.
 
The game will be mostly linear with branching elements. It will be a third person action game essentially similar to Gears or Resident Evil 5, this was chosen purely to show off Dave's character model as much as possible. Weapons will include flamethrowers, shotguns, chainsaws, etc. Of course eating the slider enemies is an option that will have a risk vs. reward element to be later announced.
 
 Sponsored by White Castle
The White Castle official license element will be implemented in several ways, including a coupon for 50% of any meal at White Castle. Coupons will be included in each new copy of the game.
 
Were not talking about DLC at this time.  :P
 
This is getting really long so I'll leave it at that. Would you guys give this game the thumbs up or shoot it down? What would you add or change? These are important questions people.
#1 Edited by JJWeatherman (14558 posts) -

If I were to create a video game, I would spend a hell of a lot of time coming up with a great idea for it. But right now I can't get this bad idea out of my head so I'm gonna write it down. Hopefully this will let me forget about it. I don't have a lot of the details nailed down so bare with me.
 
OK, it's called "Darksliders".
 
Its a game about an army of evil (and dark!) sliders. I mean sliders as in the White Castle burgers of course. The game will even sport an official license by White Castle.
 

 The face of pure evil

The antagonists will be none other than two skateboarders. Mark Gonzales who invented the "Dark Slide" grind, and Rodney Mullen who perfected it. There will be some kind of evil partnership going on there, I'm not quite sure how it will work. Probably, Gonzales will be the evil mastermind and Mullen will be the guy that goes out and does dirt to the protagonist. whenever Rodney Dark Slides a bench or something, an army of evil White Castle slider hamburgers will emerge. 
 
Everyone still following? Good.
 
 The savior of a nation. Nay, a world!
The protagonist role will be handled a bit like the recent Call of Duty games, by which I mean it will switch between multiple protagonists on multiple fronts. One of the main protagonists will be comedian Joe Rogan of Fear Factor fame, of course. Fear Factor Fame provides some nice alliteration. But anyways, the second main character would be Dave Snider. I just really really want Dave in a game as you can tell by one of my lists.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
There will be cameo appearances by many many stars such as:
  • Tony Hawk
  • Ryan Davis
  • Will and Norm (from Tested)
  • Mike Glodberg
  • Chuck Norris
  • Harold and Kumar
  •  Lou Ferrigno
  •  Billy Ingram (founder of White Castle)
  • and more!
 
Don't have all the details nailed down as to exactly HOW these people will all appear.
 
The game will be mostly linear with branching elements. It will be a third person action game essentially similar to Gears or Resident Evil 5, this was chosen purely to show off Dave's character model as much as possible. Weapons will include flamethrowers, shotguns, chainsaws, etc. Of course eating the slider enemies is an option that will have a risk vs. reward element to be later announced.
 
 Sponsored by White Castle
The White Castle official license element will be implemented in several ways, including a coupon for 50% of any meal at White Castle. Coupons will be included in each new copy of the game.
 
Were not talking about DLC at this time.  :P
 
This is getting really long so I'll leave it at that. Would you guys give this game the thumbs up or shoot it down? What would you add or change? These are important questions people.
#2 Posted by Venatio (4491 posts) -

I would add this into it somehow 

#3 Posted by JJWeatherman (14558 posts) -
@Venatio: 
Well of course. That video will be looping on every video screen in the game.
#4 Posted by kishan6 (1914 posts) -

that made me laugh 
i support this topic

#5 Posted by AjayRaz (12424 posts) -

it sounds crazy in a good way but there's one problem  
 
there's no ayane, so i disapprove

#6 Posted by JJWeatherman (14558 posts) -
@AjayRaz said:
" it sounds crazy in a good way but there's one problem  
 
there's no ayane, so i disapprove "
Hey hey hey! The details aren't final. Maybe grease my palm a bit and things can be done about the Ayane situation.  :P
#7 Posted by TurboMan (7503 posts) -

Will there be tomatoes on the evil sliders?

#8 Posted by JJWeatherman (14558 posts) -
@TurboMan said:
" Will there be tomatoes on the evil sliders? "
Tough question. I'll have to get a research panel together and discuss this important matter immediately.
 
Would you want tomatoes on the darksliders?
#9 Posted by TurboMan (7503 posts) -

well, that's a tricky question, because I hate tomatoes, so I would not want them on the slider 
 
but if it's being associated with evil, I think it needs to be included. I also think that there needs to be a point in the game where the army of dark sliders needs to turn and become wholesome again(at the very end).. when that scene occurs all of the tomatoes need to slide off, representing a change in the slider.

#10 Edited by JJWeatherman (14558 posts) -
@TurboMan said:

" well, that's a tricky question, because I hate tomatoes, so I would not want them on the slider  but if it's being associated with evil, I think it needs to be included. I also think that there needs to be a point in the game where the army of dark sliders needs to turn and become wholesome again(at the very end).. when that scene occurs all of the tomatoes need to slide off, representing a change in the slider. "

Here's another angle:
 
What if the game is all a front for new "healthy" menu options that White Castle are trying to get to catch on. The Darksliders would initially start without tomatoes. By the end of the game, they would gain tomatoes and therefore make the sliders healthier by adding a food group. The Darksliders would also jump onto a George Foreman grill until the fat all dripped off. After these changes occurred, the Darksliders would no longer be evil, or as unhealthy.
 
Then again that would be a really lame underlying theme for a game, so I take back all of this.  :P
 
I think it would come down to Dave and Joe Rogan's personal tomato preferences. They are after all, the ones fighting the good fight. Damn you Rodney Mullen!
 
Oh and I would give you the exclusive first review of the game too, lol.
#11 Posted by TurboMan (7503 posts) -

I would be on board with you if the evil sliders were healthy, and the good sliders unhealthy

#12 Posted by Sjupp (1910 posts) -
@JJWeatherman said:
" @Venatio:  Well of course. That video will be looping on every video screen in the game. "
What is the name of that song?
#13 Posted by JJWeatherman (14558 posts) -
@Sjupp said:
" @JJWeatherman said:
" @Venatio:  Well of course. That video will be looping on every video screen in the game. "
What is the name of that song? "
Uh, it's like a remixed version of the Velvet Room music from Persona 4. It's on the P4 OST.
#14 Posted by Claude (16255 posts) -

Not talking about DLC means DLC, I'll wait for the GotY edition. Even then, I might wait for a price drop.

#15 Posted by nintendoeats (5975 posts) -

Thats a terrible idea. It also appears to be the basic blueprint for 50% of games released these days. I assume this is intended as brilliant parody.
 
Bravo sir :)

#16 Posted by JJWeatherman (14558 posts) -
@nintendoeats said:
" Thats a terrible idea. It also appears to be the basic blueprint for 50% of games released these days. I assume this is intended as brilliant parody.  Bravo sir :) "
No, It's 100% SERIOUS!!!
 
lol
#17 Posted by c_rakestraw (844 posts) -
@JJWeatherman said:
" @Venatio:  Well of course. That video will be looping on every video screen in the game. "
It should also be the loading screen and the intro video. The more that video is shown in the game the better, I say.
#18 Posted by TheMustacheHero (6655 posts) -

What about mustaches?

#19 Edited by I_smell (3924 posts) -

I think you should be playing as Brad Shoemaker for the first 40 seconds of the game, then he falls off a high ledge and it turns out you're not actually playing as him.
 Also I think Mark Gonzales and Rodney Mullen should be concocting a plot to Dark Slide around the equator of the earth (or build some kind of mass grinding accelorator that could make this possible) which is prophecised that: when achieved, will cause the earth to spin in the opposite direction, bringing about the Slidapocalypse in which all sliders become humanity's sentient overlords.
 
And Dave Snider's rival (not the main antagonist of the game, but y'know- a recurring boss) should be Dark-Snider.
...
or Agent Dark-Snider.

#20 Posted by Tebbit (4460 posts) -

Good to see Lou Ferrigno making an appearance. That guy's bicep muscles could be their own Jackie Chan / Chris Tucker comedy duo.

#21 Posted by JJWeatherman (14558 posts) -
@I_smell said:
" I think you should be playing as Brad Shoemaker for the first 40 seconds of the game, then he falls off a high ledge and it turns out you're not actually playing as him.
 Also I think Mark Gonzales and Rodney Mullen should be concocting a plot to Dark Slide around the equator of the earth (or build some kind of mass grinding accelorator that could make this possible) which is prophecised that: when achieved, will cause the earth to spin in the opposite direction, bringing about the Slidapocalypse in which all sliders become humanity's sentient overlords.
 
And Dave Snider's rival (not the main antagonist of the game, but y'know- a recurring boss) should be Dark-Snider.
...
or Agent Dark-Snider. "
Duuuude. You're hired.
#22 Posted by ArclightBorealis (1563 posts) -

Brilliant idea! 
 
I'd be all for working on this.

#23 Posted by supermonkey122 (815 posts) -
@JJWeatherman said:
" @TurboMan said:
" Will there be tomatoes on the evil sliders? "
Tough question. I'll have to get a research panel together and discuss this important matter immediately.
 
Would you want tomatoes on the darksliders? 
It should be like this: the more toppings on the slider the more powerful it is

This edit will also create new pages on Giant Bomb for:

Beware, you are proposing to add brand new pages to the wiki along with your edits. Make sure this is what you intended. This will likely increase the time it takes for your changes to go live.

Comment and Save

Until you earn 1000 points all your submissions need to be vetted by other Giant Bomb users. This process takes no more than a few hours and we'll send you an email once approved.