Sharing my GIANT BURGER with GIANTBOMB!!!!

Posted by Ramyun (664 posts) -

Here's the thing. My friend planned out this wild plan to make a giant burger from scratch using flour and yeast and all that jazz. The plan was instead of splitting the dough in pieces like in the recipes, we would use the whole dough to make one huge giant bun. Naturally of course we would also make our giant patty with a whole bunch of mince as well. Here's how it went down:
 
We first made our dough t hrough the recipe of course having little to no knowledge on how to actually make bread except from what we see on TV

That is one big patty.
  . After a few scares with the dough starting to crack being to dry and then the dough becoming a bit sticky as it was too wet from some water we put in, we managed to find a nice mid range consistency. One friend in our group used to live in a bread shop which his parents run so we thought he was the most qualified to knead . This worked well as he was also very impartial to using a lot of aggressive force toward the dough and so beat it into shape. To which we jeered and cheered him on.  

The patty came next and it wasn't too hard in making and frying it until it came down to flpping the damn thing. Now as most of you burger afficionados know, the structural integrity of the patty was an absolutely crucial aspect of any burger, just as vital as the choice of sauce in a burger. Through masterful technique we managed to use four people (with four spatulas) to manoeuvre the patty onto the other side. This was a breakthrough moment in our journey.    
 
 Finished product.

Everything else seemed to all fit into place after that with burger bun cooking perfectly and the rest being just cutting up vegetables. However, when it came to eating the thing, the distr ibution system used was not unilke that of a cake cutting system to minimise disruption of the burger stack. I gotta tell you, that was one tasty burger, I wish I had Sprite to wash it down with (guess the reference?). So here I am now, a wiser and more accomplished young man ready to head out into the future to tackle almost anything in my path. Burger King, eat your heart out!! We are the masters of your domain now!!!
 
 

 
 My friend holding the burger; also works as a scale image.
#1 Posted by Ramyun (664 posts) -

Here's the thing. My friend planned out this wild plan to make a giant burger from scratch using flour and yeast and all that jazz. The plan was instead of splitting the dough in pieces like in the recipes, we would use the whole dough to make one huge giant bun. Naturally of course we would also make our giant patty with a whole bunch of mince as well. Here's how it went down:
 
We first made our dough t hrough the recipe of course having little to no knowledge on how to actually make bread except from what we see on TV

That is one big patty.
  . After a few scares with the dough starting to crack being to dry and then the dough becoming a bit sticky as it was too wet from some water we put in, we managed to find a nice mid range consistency. One friend in our group used to live in a bread shop which his parents run so we thought he was the most qualified to knead . This worked well as he was also very impartial to using a lot of aggressive force toward the dough and so beat it into shape. To which we jeered and cheered him on.  

The patty came next and it wasn't too hard in making and frying it until it came down to flpping the damn thing. Now as most of you burger afficionados know, the structural integrity of the patty was an absolutely crucial aspect of any burger, just as vital as the choice of sauce in a burger. Through masterful technique we managed to use four people (with four spatulas) to manoeuvre the patty onto the other side. This was a breakthrough moment in our journey.    
 
 Finished product.

Everything else seemed to all fit into place after that with burger bun cooking perfectly and the rest being just cutting up vegetables. However, when it came to eating the thing, the distr ibution system used was not unilke that of a cake cutting system to minimise disruption of the burger stack. I gotta tell you, that was one tasty burger, I wish I had Sprite to wash it down with (guess the reference?). So here I am now, a wiser and more accomplished young man ready to head out into the future to tackle almost anything in my path. Burger King, eat your heart out!! We are the masters of your domain now!!!
 
 

 
 My friend holding the burger; also works as a scale image.
#2 Posted by Claude (16255 posts) -

That's a big burger alright. Looks pretty damn tasty too.

#3 Posted by InfiniteGeass (2052 posts) -

I want to Om nom nom that burger.

#4 Posted by jonnyboy (2920 posts) -

This truly is the age of giant burgers.

#5 Posted by PistolPackinPoet (208 posts) -

yum.

#6 Posted by essaregee (573 posts) -

OMG YOR FRIEND IZ CHINESE?!

#7 Posted by Linkyshinks (9880 posts) -

That is a great looking burger.  O'boy I'm hungry now...

#8 Posted by ImperiousRix (2963 posts) -

Aw man, my parents just went out to get Taco Bell and now all I can think about is burgers.

#9 Posted by Ramyun (664 posts) -
The burger was actually smaller than what we set out for it to be which wqas a slight disappointment since it didn't rise as much when we let it rest. But we still ended up being satisfied because that patty was actually pretty damn thick. If you guys want to check out more photos of the burger masterpiece, look in my images section.
@essaregee:
I'm also Chinese, mate; what are the chances???
#10 Posted by Butchio (333 posts) -

wtf, if you eat that you will die

#11 Posted by GunnBjorn (2911 posts) -

What was the cooking time of the patty?
#12 Posted by Robitt (349 posts) -

Did you actually eat it? If so, how?

#13 Posted by Linkyshinks (9880 posts) -

Was it cooked all the way through when you ate it?  I ask because with a burger that size it needs to be cooked at a lower heat and for longer, so it cooks through to the centre. If I were cooking it, I would fry both sides lightly to seal in the moisture and flavour, then finish it off slowly and gently in the oven.

#14 Posted by Ramyun (664 posts) -
@GunnBjorn: @Linkyshinks: For the patty we poked holes into the meat so that it would cook faster, although we still ended up cooking it for a while. Also, no sharp pains in the stomach or bloody diarrhea so it's all good! :)
@Robitt: As I pointed out in the blog, we cut it like a cake, so it was slightly awkward but it still worked. Obviously there is no way anyone could wrap their lips around that as a whole, so a knife and fork did just fine.
#15 Posted by Meowayne (6084 posts) -
#16 Posted by Robitt (349 posts) -
@Ramyun: Oh right, missed that part. To distracted by the pictures. OM NOM NOM.
#17 Posted by Marz (5648 posts) -

my arteries feel clogged just looking at that burger.
#18 Posted by Gamer_152 (14072 posts) -

That's quite the tale you have there. You know I could really go for a giant hamburger right about now.

Moderator
#19 Posted by SBYM (1219 posts) -

Ham-boo-ar-gar! Also? Pulp Fiction.

#20 Posted by Ramyun (664 posts) -
@SBYM: You sir, are the winner!!!!
#21 Posted by Linkyshinks (9880 posts) -

I hate this site when I'm hungry, you get inundated with fast food talk and imagery all the time. Fuck this, I'm off out to get burger lol -seriously!

#22 Posted by SBYM (1219 posts) -
@Ramyun: Danke.
#23 Posted by Xolare (1279 posts) -

That is one big kahuna burger. :P

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#24 Posted by Evilsbane (4592 posts) -

Faith in humanity RESTORED!

#25 Posted by Ramyun (664 posts) -

Now if only we can make a giant hotdog......

#26 Posted by Jimbo_N (1197 posts) -

Oh man, that a respectable burger. I could probably eat the whole thing right now. Alright thats it, im off for lunch !

#27 Posted by natetodamax (19192 posts) -

Meh.

#28 Posted by HT101 (1153 posts) -

That burger looks pretty good.  I just had dinner so not that hungry but it looks really good.

#29 Posted by nanikore (2740 posts) -
@jonnyboy said:
" This truly is the age of giant burgers. "
Truly.
#30 Posted by ShaunassNZ (2128 posts) -

Hey friend... um come over to my house with that THING!!!!

#31 Posted by i69edUrGpa (586 posts) -

That's boss

#32 Posted by TheSmilingDude (92 posts) -

This is an awesome burger.

#33 Posted by eroticfishcake (7783 posts) -

That burger actually looks healthier in comparison to other giant burgers that I've seen before.
 
Still looks kinda awful though...

#34 Edited by CaptainTightPants (2834 posts) -

 You call it a hamburger and later in life your body will know it as heart attack. 
Just joking that sure is a big hamburger though. 

#35 Posted by Ramyun (664 posts) -

Well in my opinion we put less cheese in it than we should have so it was less unhealthy than I thought it would be.

#36 Posted by eroticfishcake (7783 posts) -

Doesn't change the fact there's a lot of meat in there though. Then again If I were you I'll still eat it just for the sake of it. Speaking of which, how did you guys eat it? Knives and forks or the proper way (hands that is).

#37 Posted by jonnyboy (2920 posts) -

This reminded me of a website I used to go to called Pimpmysnack.com (now called Pimpthatsnack.com). It's British so some of you might not regognise the brands but it's basically people making huge versions of regular confectionary and posting the results. Here's a few of my favorites...

 KING ROLO


 GIANT PARTY RING

And possibly my favorite.
 MASSIVE FUCK OFF FRUIT PASTEL ICE LOLLY
#38 Posted by eroticfishcake (7783 posts) -
@jonnyboy: No love for the pimped Jaffa Cake? Or even Creme Egg that came with it's own foil? (as horrible as it may taste).
#39 Posted by Emandudeguyperson (2502 posts) -

Some dude (I forgot who) on GiantBomb made a thread about his huge-ass burger that had pepperoni pizzas for patties.

#40 Posted by Ramyun (664 posts) -
@eroticfishcake: Yeah as I said before, we ate it with knives and forks and distributed the burger to everyone in sectors like a cake.
#41 Posted by jonnyboy (2920 posts) -
@eroticfishcake said:
" @jonnyboy: No love for the pimped Jaffa Cake? Or even Creme Egg that came with it's own foil? (as horrible as it may taste). "
I love all of them on there, even tried a few of them (including the Jaffa cake). It's waaaaay harder than it looks.
#42 Posted by eroticfishcake (7783 posts) -
@Ramyun: Pah! Be a man! Use chopsticks instead! I'm pretty sure you know how to use them at least, no?
 
@jonnyboy: You've just shattered my dreams now. I was so looking forward to a massive Jaffa Cake. Also, that site looks totally different from when I last visited it. While we're on the topic of foods, have you been to this site? If tea and biscuits are your thing then yes it is!
#43 Posted by jonnyboy (2920 posts) -
@eroticfishcake: I'd love to have nothing to do with that site, but I'm reading the front page and I'm strangely interested. What the hell is wrong with me? Also if that site had an in depth interview with Monkey, I'm in.
#44 Posted by Ramyun (664 posts) -
@eroticfishcake: Hahaha I only like using chopsticks for certain occasions. Like, I can't accept eating pasta using chopsticks!! I have to do the spaghetti twirl with the fork!!
#45 Posted by teh_destroyer (3566 posts) -

I would eat that even if it meant a heart attack after words.

#46 Posted by Hector (3359 posts) -

I'm getting hungry now.

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