Hamburger

*WARNING* THE FOLLOWING THREAD HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MODERN WARFARE 2 *WARNING*

*WARNING* THE FOLLOWING THREAD HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MODERN WARFARE 2 *WARNING*

    
There will be no mention of Modern Warfare 2 in this thread. None. Really. I'm serious. My middle name is serious. Okay, so that was a lie. Wouldn't it be cool if my middle name was serious? 
Vidiot Serious Westriverside Warehouserock XXVII 
 
My last name is a bit long.
 

When Windows 95 was launched, the ad campaign back then was absurd. So when I see stuff, like the hype concerning Modern Warfare...err..Halo 3, I'm reminded of the giant Windows 95 tent that was assembled outside the CompUSA over at Totem Lake. It was epic. Jesus came back for the release of Windows 95.   
 
It's fun to think back, because as I get older I begin to see cycles in gaming history. This all came to head a few days ago, while I was doing my daily web surfing and daily surf boarding, when I ran across an article exclaiming "The Death of Single Player!" I've read this before. In fact, I think I've run across similar articles multiple times during over a decade, easily. Yet, single player has yet to die. Why is that? The first time I read that Single Player was on it's death bed was during the era of Counter Strike clones, and again a few years ago when WOW practically took over PC Gaming. The cycle is not exclusive to hypothetical concerns over single player dieing, but other stuff like videogame violence. Watching the events concerning the airport scene in Modern War....err... GTA, made me remember the fun flurry that we had during the early days of Mortal Kombat.   
 
Recently I've come to a conclusion that was very dear to me. If there has been one great one great consistent reoccurring article, or subject that has been brought up time, and time again on internet forums and even gaming media, it's that adventure games are dead. DEAD I TELL YOU. Gaming took the adventure genre outside to your backyard, did terrible things to it, killed it, then proceeded to do even more terrible things to it after it was dead. Are you picturing what I am describing?! You know that scene in Final Destination 2, with that guy, and the part where he was ripped apart by barb wire? THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO ADVENTURE GAMING. Thanks to twitch games like Modern...Halo..

Or did it. Because I'm playing a lot of adventure games right now, and it's not one of my classic gaming runs. Was it that simple, that the genre simply croaked and died? To answer these questions thoughtfully, I think we need to go back to basics and try to explain what adventure gaming is. More particular, why we call it an adventure. These are terms we usually don't think about. What is an action adventure? Why is 'adventure' even added to that term?
 

Game Splicing, and Game Mechanic Evolution

 
We tend to think that the combination of genres is a relatively new concept, but in reality that's not necessarily true. Game Splicing has been around for quite some time now. One early, more dramatic example could be ActRaiser. 
 
It's the concept of meshing genres together with the result of creating something new. Our first person shooters have RPG mechanics, our 3rd person action games have RTS elements, and back during the mid 90's our platform games started to get genuine puzzles. 
Yes, you moved blocks, it was basic and almost barbaric but the shift in 3D technology limited our gaze. As technology and design marched forward, what worked in a 2D environment began to get lost in the fray of 3D. It's gotten considerably better overtime.
 
 
 
Recently near the end of Uncharted 2, Nathan Drake has to utilize his journal to decipher an elaborate puzzle the concerns checking old scriptures and diagrams. The scene is expertly done, and if it was taken out of context, one could argue that Uncharted for that brief moment was an adventure game.
 
We take Game Splicing for granted now. We consider it as almost an evolution in game mechanics. These concepts, mechanics, can come from the same genre from different games. Game A has a cover mechanic that Game B then borrows, but it's the genre to genre combination that can be the most rewarding and the most unforgiving if incorrectly executed. Brutal Legend suffers from an identy crisis, a jack of all trades master of none trying to cram open world/Zelda/and an RTS in one game. While others like System Shock combine the finesse of RPG character creation, with horror and twitch shooting. (Thematic qualities "horror" can be apart of Game Splicing, but this is more relatable to Gameplay Mechanic Adaptation, versus mechanic functionality which we are talking about here.)
 
What's interesting that while we try haphazardly to combine the newest genre's with each other, we have totally lost sight, that we have continually succeeded in the greatest Genre Game Splicing of all time: Adventure games.
 

Defining Adventure

 
I don't think we have collectively classified adventure games correctly. 
 
When someone brings up the term "adventure game", we immediately think of games like Monkey Island, Day of the Tentacle, Grim Fandango, and just about anything Lucas Arts was doing, before they learned that Star Wars was a profitable gaming business venture. I think another word needs to be added to the definition: Puzzle. 
 
Puzzle Adventure Game, doesn't roll off the tongue as just Adventure Game, but it's probably the most accurate description of the genre your going to get. Who decided that a puzzle gameplay was synonymous to adventure? The term adventure is bold, giant term encompassing the likes of story and exploration. Story and exploration, specifically the exploration of a foreign world or environment you are not accustomed too. These concepts are basic, but you can see them extensively if you go back to adventure gaming's roots. 
 
There are two games to consider. One called Adventure...and another...called....Adventure. *ahem* Let me break it down.
 

Vidiot breaks it down. Hurts himself.

 
Adventure (aka Colossal Cave, 1975-1977) 
 
 
 
Argued to be the first text adventure ever, "Adventure" wasn't keen on elaborate item oriented puzzles, but exploration. You explored a giant cave, like most text adventures that would later followed (I have to mention Zork here, or I will be attacked by angry nerds.) Adventure would be described today as "Interactive Fiction" versus what we might regard as a game. It established the concept of exploration, which would later be expanded on in what is argued to be the first action adventure game...
 
Adventure (1979) 
 
 
Probably the most common known, the 2600 game Adventure was also the first game to have an easter egg. Players explored a large environment (mazes) there was of course, no narrative or fiction to accompany the exploration. It was a form of splicing (and very basic mechanic adaptation.), combining twitch gameplay with exploration albeit very primitive exploration. The technology was not yet, on equal footing as the same intricate representation of text. This would change over time, as Text Adventures would eventually die...but their mechanics would be better represented thanks to the evolution of technology.
 

So, adventure games are dead?

 
No. The mechanics of adventure games have been spliced into almost all genres. We should try to refer to adventure games, of the point and click variety, to puzzle adventure games. This is due to their mechanics of solving puzzles in combination to environmental exploration and a strong focus on narrative. It's why we originally, and accurately, called Metroid: Prime a First Person Adventure game versus a First Person Shooter.
 
The puzzle adventure game went out of style and popularity, but it didn't die like it's text adventure ancestor. It wasn't swept up by the progress of technology, which usually results in the closest thing we can call a "true" death to a genre. There is still a viable market. TellTale knows this, as well as the intelligent minds behind Machinarium. A few years prior games like The Longest Journey and Syberia attracted critic's eyes for good reason. They can still tell a more cohesive plot than most twitch shooters like...er.................Halo... You can of course jump off from this ledge I've drawn you to into a myriad of debates and conversation, such as if there are adventure elements in roleplaying games, which would make sense as the very essence of a tabletop RPG is interactive fiction.
 
Regardless, the future for the Adventure game is a bright one. Seeing stuff like the revival of Monkey Island and Sam and Max were almost ludicrous concepts only a few years back, I predict the final chapter in this genre is not going to be written for a very long time. 
 
 
I wore my friends Prestige Modern Warfare 2 night-vision goggles and scared everyone at a local Taco Bell. Old people are funny to scare. I think I'm evil. :D
 
Oh, and this is awesome.

If Giant Bomb weren't about games, chances are it would be the #1 source for energy drink news and ridiculous food recipes.  If you don't believe me... hamburger.  But I don't often talk about the food and drinks, but there are some insane food oddities that are on my wishlist, to put it one way.  Before I'm killed by a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts, here are the 5 concoctions that I need to try before I fade into obscurity. 

1. The infamous Luther Burger.  There are various iterations of the burger, but they have one thing in common: the bun is replaced with glazed donuts.  There are a variety of places that serve them, but I'm going for this ballpark creation... because all food is better at the ballpark.  Plus, they use Krispy Kreme doughnuts, the ruler of all doughnuts and donuts alike.
2. The burger theme continues with the 100 pound burger featured at Denny's Beer Barrel Pub in my home state of Pennsylvania!  They serve burgers of all sizes, including a 6-pound burger with 5 pounds of stuff!  The massive 100-pound monstrosity is probably supposed to be for a large group, but I'd be honored tp have just a few pounds of that gigantic burger.
3. I love deep fried food.  I also like butter.  But the two together?  Deep fried butter?  It sounds like the most disgusted thing I could ever possibly consume, but I so want to try it.  I'm sure this might become a fair staple by next year.  The deep fried Oreo/Twinkie/Snickers/Milky Way somehow made it.  By the way, deep fried Oreos are amazing!
4. Here are two more things that together don't make any goddamn sense!  Chocolate and bacon.  Chocolate-covered bacon shouldn't work at all on paper, but for some reason it has become a reality... and a potentially good one, too.  I guess covering anything in chocolate will work, right?  Chocolate and tripe?  Nah!
5. Finally, a delicacy that is truly the face of evil, the hamdog.  Hot dogs and hamburgers go well together on patriotic holidays, but to combine them into some Frankenstein monster of meat, casings, and condiments... I just have to see this for myself.  And someone decided to stick a fucking egg in there, too!  Seriously?

I finally broke 40K. And the game I did it whit was actually Gears Of War 2. I finally got around to finnishing the campain. I played up to the second to last chapter when it came out and after that been playing online agains my friends now and then and totally forgot about the campain. Well, its good to get that out of the way now that NHL 10 and Halo 3: ODST comes out.
 
To celebrate, A burger.

So a post on engadget has all the info on the next update to the dashboard.

http://www.engadget.com/2009/07/16/xbox-live-update-rolling-out-includes-games-on-demand-netflix/
experience

"What does this Xbox LIVE Update not include?

The following features will be coming in future Xbox LIVE updates, which we'll be sure to let you know about.

• Facebook
• Twitter
• Zune video and 1080p Instant On
• Last.fm"
  
  Yeah, the thing that a lot of people are waiting for, I know i want Last.fm for sure and i kinda want it now.
  
  Any thoughts?

Just for the record this post has NOTHING to do with Hamburgers. AT ALL. :P

It Fails to Transform the Regular Stacker Enough

by Randy Marr
   So the new Transformers movie is upon us, and with it, MARKETING TIE-INS! WHOO!! And who better to hop onto the summer blockbuster band-wagon than Burger King? They've decided that a promotional give-away and new product were in order. Your typical Burger King "There's a sticker on your cup and maybe your fries!" contest is back, with the patented "There's two scratch-off's! Pick one and maybe you'll win! (But if you scratch both you lose anyway)" Accompanying this little give-away is the new BBQ Double Stackticon! (Visit the actual site here, complete with scarier-than-normal King)

   The BBQ Double Stackticon is an attempt on Burger King's part to "Transform" the regular BK Stacker. For the uninitiated (Salad eating mother fuc~...), the BK Stacker is two slabs of beef, two slices of cheese, bacon ,and some mystery (yet delicious!) sauce. You can also up the ante by making it a triple or even Quad-Stacker, depending on the amount of self-loathing you posess. So what's the big secret to the transformation? Sweet Baby Ray's Sweet and Spicy BBQ Sauce. And it doesn't really do anything. Maybe I just got a bad one, but it tasted like a typical burger to me. At this point I'd rather have a Wendy's Baconator, and directly attack my heart for massive damage. In the end, the only difference is the sauce, and it's just not as good as whatever the hell it use they use for the stacker. So not only is there a lack of originality on the part of Burger King, but they turned a personal heart-stopping favorite into a weaker, more mild version of it's former self.

   If you feel enticed by this sandwich, allow me to recommend you just stick with the typical BK Stacker. It's cheaper and it's better. And if you're feeling really lucky or you're ready to end your own life, may I suggest asking them to make it an "Octo-stacker," which really would have been nice if they had it for the release of Spider-Man 2.

   A 2.5 out of 5.

(Instrumental)
-Theme to Burger Time

Nothing else to add here, not going into the forums...just you watch, Wii fans! SFIV > Hamburger and Wii.

ZOMG! I'm actually not dead! Who new right? Just been busy with a bunch of crap, haven't been very active. Hopefully as the year winds down and summer starts I'll be able to be on more. Short blog for now. Hopefully as more stuff happens I can post longer blog. I wish you all well until next time...